#alastiel

[lepoppeta]

theyre having a tea party

[shootinwebs]

( NSFW text kinda )

( content notes: alastor having The Sex Feelings )

rosie: why were you looking at zestial like that? you looked like you had a few too many or something.

alastor: he's the only overlord i find intimidating, and that fact alone does things to my body for some reason. he might look like some horrible creature you'd find in the florida everglades, but i'd like to find him in my--... um...

rosie: .......... (pretending to write in an invisible notebook) march 21st 2012, alastor had the horny for someone.

alastor: it's not for him, technically, it's for the way his voice sounds when he whispers in my ear, and the way he touches my--... nevermind.

rosie: scratch that. march 21st 2012, alastor revealed that someone can make him horny without having to solve a riddle, untie the gordian knot, and find a unicorn.

[lepoppeta]

Dialogue Anon, dont know if you still remember me but I saw that your asks were open again!

How did Zestiel, Alastor, and Sir Pentious get together? They seem like such a very interesting throuple

DIALOGUE ANON i missed you!

exactly how these three got together has changed a little bit since i keep revising my personal worldbuilding rules for this show, but alastor and zestial consistently get together first, and then they begin including sir pentious after an intermediate amount of time.

the approximation of how they got together is unfortunately very rough, as i tend to focus more on the funny/wholesome details of their relationship than the overarching story. im not sure what would jump start zestial and alastor hanging out more regularly (although i know this happens after alastors spectacular falling out with vox) or them starting to talk to sir pentious more often, i just know that it eventually does happen.

i love thinking about them in the sense of them enjoying some sort of... i can only describe it as a "courtship carousel", where all three of them enjoy the more old-fashioned rules surrounding dating and propriety. its a very practiced dance that the three of them thoroughly appreciate. i wish i knew how else to explain it.

[lepoppeta]

#6 and #10 for the OTP/OT3 ask game? For whatever ship you most want to talk about right now!

i will answer this for alastor x zestial!

6. what would their dream home look like?

while i dont think theyd ever live together, alastor and zestial like engaging in the rules and rituals of vintage courtship, and part of that is inviting each other into their respective spaces.

in the canon of the show, alastor lives at the hazbin hotel. were never shown where he lived beforehand. i dont really know how i feel about him living there; it almost makes him come off as too approachable and normal. in my own little world, perhaps he lives in cannibal town? a detached home would suit his desire for solitude and control, but for some reason i can also see occupying in a particularly nice apartment or a row house. i think it would be funny if it was a very picturesque neighbourhood -- white picket fences; identical cookie-cutter, pastel board houses with flower boxes and white scalloped trim. the idea of alastor making nice with his neighbours while handing them dishes of cannibal casserole is highly amusing to me.

we have never seen zestials home in the show, and i kind of doubt we ever will, but i like to imagine that he lives in a respectable victorian-styled house on a hill that almost always seems to be surrounded by dark clouds -- classic imagery, yknow? the basement is a converted surgery and morgue, and is pretty creepy and clinical compared to the upper floors. the whole place smells like damp wood and wet soil, and has an uncanny green-ish tinge. alastor thinks its marvellous.

10. can you imagine them having ang kids or pets?

as a shipper and a lover of next generation character creation, i adore the idea of them being a pair of doting Girl Dads (tm). the idea of highly dangerous, murderous people being startlingly good parents is a favourite of mine; alastor and zestial caring for a very polite and well-dressed little girl is no exception.

as a realist, they would never even consider having children, and as far as im aware that is nigh impossible in the spindlehorse version of hell. a pet, though -- that may be forseeable. a cat, maybe, or perhaps a giant spider that acts like particularly affectionate puppy. carnivorous sentient plants are also on the table.

[lepoppeta]

i love the idea of perpetual manfailure sir pentious being propositioned by vintage overlord power couple alastor and zestial just by dint of him being as equally averse to modern technology and mannerisms as they are.

so sorry about the mediocre pony headshots. its the best i can do right now. i may redraw this in the future.

memes below the cut

alastor and zestial:

sir pentious:

[lepoppeta]

hello, dialogue anon again, thanks for the reminder reblog for the asks game.

i actually dont mind any helluva/hazbin content. fwiw i think the fan content usually is more put together an interesting than the official stuf imho.

in light of that, can you do "Alastiel"? sounds like its alastor and zestiel, which is an interesting pairing

Dead goth husbands ♥ certainly! This is from an exchange I had with a friend, so I only have dialogue at the moment. I'm always excited when I get inspired enough to write for any of the rare pairs I'm interested in.

Unfortunately, this snippet doesn't contain any Alastor/Zestial content; it's a scene where Alastor's preparing for his initial rendezvous with Zestial and Angel Dust decides to be nosy.

ANGEL DUST Must be a special victim tonight, Ally-pally. You don't normally get this swanky for a murder spree. ALASTOR (annoyed) I'll have you know that I'm going out to dinner. ANGLE DUST (shocked) Shut up. ALASTOR Now, if you'll excuse me -- ANGEL DUST You're going on a date?! ALASTOR (angrily/anxiously) Keep your voice down. ANGEL DUST Who's the lucky broad? ALASTOR None of your filthy business. ANGEL DUST A fella then? ALASTOR (embarrassed silence) ANGLE DUST (gently/sympathetically) Aw Alastor, no-one cares about that shit no more -- ALASTOR (visibly agitated) If you don't shut up, I'm going to maim you.

[lepoppeta]

(for alastor + zestial!) 2 , 11 , and 12 !!

2. what do you like about them as individuals?

im not so fond of alastor as he is now, im afraid. i dont like his tendency to be the brattiest, most unhelpful person in the room on purpose. i liked his energy in the pilot, where he was honest with his chaotic intentions and didnt get irritated when he wasnt constantly the centre of attention. he felt more like an adult, back then.

zestial i appreciate because he actually looks like an vaguely scary eldritch creature, and not just a furry (not that i have any issue with the furries -- i quite like most of them). he speaks to alastor politely (which alastor returns) and doesnt rile him up for his own entertainment. he even pays him a genuine compliment by fondly dubbing him "an enigma". hes probably my favourite side character in current canon!

11. how do they comfort each other?

hmm... i have a few very specific scenarios in which "comfort" is being provided. they centre around zestial reassuring alastor in some fashion -- zestial is as old as the hills and doesnt need much in the way of comforting. compared to him, alastor is quite young.

as for specifics, its mostly with words of praise and encouragement, although now that i say (read: type) that out loud, i doubt that would be a particularly convincing method for someone like alastor; his whole m-o is based around twisting his own words and the words of those around him. actions would probably speak louder, in this case.

12. is there anything you dont like about this ship?

im aware that alastor has a preference for the company of women, so i often feel a bit guilty for shipping him with men.

i always feel a little bit bad for shipping rare pairs, because theres usually quite a lot of extrapolation that comes with it. im not as canon-compliant as some people are, but most of the time i like it when my assumptions can be at least partially supported by the original text. i like to think that alastor x zestial falls into that category, but i am never sure due to my own bias of liking the ship.

[shootinwebs]

( NSFW-ish text )

all you need to know about my alastor+zestial "ship" headcanons is that zestial is the only person alastor has slept with where he wasn't thinking the whole time about how much he'd rather be stuffing his face with food instead of having sex