#albanian problems

[queen-of-love-and-beauty]

Everyone else: OMG WE HAVE TO GO BUY BLEACH AND BLEACH WIPES AND ALCOHOL TO CLEAN!!!!

Me: *living in an Albanian household where my mom stockpiles cleaning products like they will save us from doom’s day and would bleach the walls if we let her* cool story bro

[saturn-is-cool]

Albanians: lol you were born in Italy, you're basically italian

Italians: lmao you're parents are albanian, you're not Italian sweety

Me: *having an existencial crisis* God, am I even real?

Bonus:

[queen-of-love-and-beauty]

The amount of power that the phrase “what will people back home say” holds over Albanian immigrants in the diaspora is terrifying.

People will make their decisions based on what their old neighbor back home will think. People will act the same way they acted back home because they still think someone is watching and commenting on the way they dress, the car they drive, how many vacations they take per year, how they decorated their house. People will over share and over post about their lives on Facebook just to show off.

They expect young girls and young women to leads the same lives of the girls back home, even though the society and economical circumstances we live in are completely different. They raise their boys with the same ass backward believes as back home, make the girls pay for their bullshit.

The amount of times my mom has told me not to tell people back home about things like my PCOS or financial struggles we have gone through is mind blowing. These people are paying none of our bills but still dictate our lives.

[queen-of-love-and-beauty]

for all the aunties që vdesin me ardh “per visit”

[queen-of-love-and-beauty]

There’s this phenomenon in the Albanian diaspora community where everyone is always comparing your achievements to those of girls’ back home. Always saying some shady shit like “so and so was married at your age and now has a kid and a house” but what they fail to mention is how they achieved all this.

Most of the girls I know back home never finished university and don’t have a stable job. The only reason why they can afford to do things and have kids is because their partners have money (and that money isn’t always clean). The system back home is set up in a way to still make women less able to find a job or even finish school, so I don’t blame them for not being able to be independent.

What does piss me off though is that, with all the ability to better themselves and be aware of feminist issues, the girls back home still hold on to the idea that being a wife and mother is IT. That is the thing they aim for, that is their life goal, to the point where they will ridicule and belittle fellow women for making different life choices,

This is why I don’t compare myself to other people and their achievements. There is always more underneath the surface. I might not have the perfect IG pictures with my man on some tropical island but I have financial independence so that if said man leaves me tomororw I can still take my ass on vacation.

[queen-of-love-and-beauty]

I will never get over the fact that I didn’t see a doctor for my period until I was 21. I religiously believed my mom that my heavy, irregular, painful periods which made me unable to perform basic daily tasks, were “normal”. That because my mom had suffered from the same issue before getting pregnant, I would have to suffer through the same thing.

It’s so regular of minorities to not only demonize periods but also normalize the pain that they cause. They don’t see the woman behind the pain and suffering, they see the “shameful” bodily function that needs to be ignored and pushed to the side because we don’t speak of such things.

And it’s hilarious that so many aunties think that marriage, and a man’s dick, is the solution to a hormonal problem.

[queen-of-love-and-beauty]

So I just discovered you, and I was reading your albanian problems tag and thank goodness there's somebody that's albanian who understands that there are issues in our culture. I really like your point of view it's very refreshing, if you know what I mean. Especially how women are treated, I don't think the problem is acknowledged enough. Im gay and obviously thats a huge problem for albanians and family members are starting to speculate why I haven't found a man yet like I'm not into that honey

I’m glad that my ramblings are a small comfort to you. Your struggle with our culture is even harder than mine. You will have to choose between your happiness and other people’s judgment on something that is very much taboo still in our culture.Albanian culture is beautiful however I don’t support blind patriotism and nationalism to the point where we are in denial of our issues when it comes to gender, gender roles, sex and sexuality.

However, based on the many great and bright Albanian young women I’ve met on here, I’m confident that we are the change and we will raise a new generation of Albanian children more opening minded and informed.

[queen-of-love-and-beauty]

Your #mcm thinks it's perfectly normal to throw a wedding-like party when someone has a boy but doesn't see the need to do the same when it's a girl.