#albany move

[strugglebus]

these are legal terms for a deep-seated love and

an intimacy that is borne from an intense scrutiny of my soul,

and loving that soul with every fibre of your being

regardless of a myriad fingerprints

on the glass of my heart.

[papilliondepapier]

588

all i know in this one true life of mine

is that everything is borne of love

and that my loved ones carry pieces of my own hurting heart

in every waking moment.

distance is relative,

and a year apart won’t change much

but still my breath catches thinking of

how many moments we’ve spent in these houses

where even the walls are imbued with prayer

and every action carries this love

like dewdrops on my shoulders.

all these memories:

dairy queen and cherrybomb and late summer evenings,

tiptoeing across the yard after late nights of talk,

every gesture, every prayer, every peal of laughter that sends my soul ringing,

it won’t change

and I know this,

but it doesn’t make packing his shirts,

making his bed,

opening the fridge and watching our shows,

any easier knowing

that this might be the last time these frivolous actions are done

and I guess what I’m trying to say is

what once was casual, even mindless,

is imbued with an urgency,

a sense of purpose,

of committing to memory even the slightest detail,

that I’m so scared to miss.