SYNOPSIS... (heavily inspired by brand new day) reader is under a spell that has wiped any and all memories of their lover, alhaitham, from their memory. they no longer know the man they once loved, but a bond that strong cannot simply be erased.
FEATURING... alhaitham
A/N: heyyyy guyyyssss... i've been gone two whole years and all you get is this tiny little oneshot thing that i wrote in about an hour nd didn't really proofread... i apologise for being gone so long and i don't really have an excuse, i kinda just lost interest in writing, but that's kinda come back ? it may only be a one-off, but i hope you can still enjoy this post !!
also hello new people i appreciate most of you guys do not know who i am
"[name]..."
he choked out your name, hands trembling and eyes wide, but not out of fear - he wasn't scared of you, he could never be scared of you.
seconds after your name fell from his lips, you came to halt, spinning on your heels slowly, cautiously. something about that voice was familiar, nostalgic, comfortable. it came out as a low hum, sounding almost fragile to an untrained ear, but you could hear it. you could hear that it was practised, and you could feel how it reverberated through you, curling into your ear and filling every nook and cranny. every crevice of your mind was suddenly filled with this man's voice, this man that you'd never met before, but somehow feel as if you know everything about.
"do i know you..?"
reunited.
he prays you didn't see, and honestly you almost didn't. it was so brief, that glimmer in his eyes, that had you blinked, you would've missed it. would've missed the longing behind his pupils, and the little twitch in his fingers as he fought back the urge to pull you into him, to hold you so close that it was impossible to tell where one of you ended and the other began. if you'd so much as glanced over his shoulder to avoid his piercing (yet somehow tender) stare, you wouldn't be feeling this crushingly strong sense of longing, your heart wouldn't haven fallen to the floor along with the solitary tear that dripped from your jaw.
your grip tightened on the book in your hands. you held onto it as if it were a lifeline, the only proof that this moment was real.
"what is this..."
uncertainty.
a large part of you wished you'd never heard him, never turned at the call of your name and saved yourself this painfully confusing feeling. yet somehow you knew deep down that this moment was what you'd been waiting for, the piece that would fit perfectly in the hollow of your heart. for so long you'd felt as if something was missing, even in moments where you felt fulfilled with the life you were living - the life you'd once shared with another.
"why- who are you?"
it killed him. you didn't remember him, of course you didn't. why would you? he knew what to expect. he'd been told over and over, warned of what he'd find, but he'd refused to believe it. he refused to believe that you - the person he loves so dearly, the only one who looked past his calloused exterior and mended the fractures in his soul - would be forever out of his reach.
but you weren't. you were so close. just a metre away. he stood a mere 3 steps away from the life he took for granted and so desperately wanted back.
he needed you.
pathetic.
all this time he'd been clinging to precious memories of you, devoting every sleeping hour to dreams of someone who didn't even know his name. didn't even know he existed.
"who-"
"an old friend"
defeat.
who was he kidding. the spell was irreversible, there was nothing he could do to remind you. all he had left of you was your lingering touch, the ghost of your lips pressed against the apple of his cheek that he could just about feel when he squeezed his eyes shut at night, willing you to return home to him. none of it was enough; the clothes you left at his place that he refused to wash, despite the smell of you having long faded; your notebook filled with scribbled notes and unintelligible diagrams that only you could understand; your favourite armchair that, since you left, remained untouched.
hesitating, he walked towards you, pausing at arms length and resting a hand on your shoulder. you could tell he was holding his breath as he gave you a small, broken smile, his hand lingering a few seconds too long before withdrawing to his side.
with a small nod, his eyes finally pull away from yours and return to the floor.
just as he's about to leave, it comes to you - no, it crashes over you. alhaitham, alhaitham is his name. that man is alhaitham.
he stills as you strain to whisper his name.
hope.
thanks for reading ♡ want to read more? my requests are OPEN, so please feel free to let me know what you’d like me to write next!
will be opening up a new taglist as it's been so long !! i'll wait a bit to see if i feel like posting more first, but let me know if you'd like to be added :)
My headcannon is that majority of the calm and stoic men in genshin are actually really clingy when drunk.
Like, you're sitting on the edge of your mattress, waiting patiently in the dark, moonlit room for your boyfriend to return from work.
When suddenly the door swings open in an unusual manner. The echoing footsteps oddly sluggish despite the familiar rhythm.
"Babe? What took you so long?" You tease as your eyes shift towards the doorway, only to be greeted by your very drunk, messy haired boyfriend. his face is flushed a deep crimson, eyes barely open and glossy, but the moment they land on you, you can't help but notice how they practically sparkle.
Without saying another word, he quickly closes the distance with whatever energy he has left. Walking - and almost tripping - on his way to you at the edge of the bed. kneeling down when he's close enough before resting his head right on your lap. The heat of his flushed face lingering on your skin, along with his warm, uneven breaths.
His strong arms wrapping protectively around your waist as he snuggles closer, almost as if he were afraid you might disappear.
You shift slightly. "Hey-"
"Don't.." he cuts you off, voice rough and muffled by your legs.
"I'm sorry for staying out late... I drank too much..." He admits honestly, a certain rare vulnerability he only ever shows you seeping into his words. "don't leave..."
Carefully he looks up at you with tired, pleading eyes that completely shatters the whole stoic persona. "Stay...please." he mumbles.
And when you eventually reassure him that you're not going anywhere, a soft pleased hum escapes him. Resting his head back on your lap and holding you a little closer into the night.
---------------
Lowk has been so long since I've written 🫤
Also why does my mind draw a blank when I think about men in genshin impact???? I can't think of any
Hii idk if you're still open for req but I have my hot take. You can ignore it if you want.
Genshin men with partner who are too independent they forgot they could lean on them even though they struggle silently (idk like financial struggle or whatever you like) yes I'm a suffer for angst 😞 pls include my beloved kinich and lyney plsplspslspsl 🙏🙏🙏
Authors note: I wasn’t sure how I wanted to write this out. Usually I wait until I have motivation but my finger slipped and I hit reply. It seems I was forced to reply to this (I love pretending I’m being held against my will for things I do willingly). I might make a part two. I am lowkey unsure if I answered this right. I kept the silent struggle vague so the reader could decide what it’d be.
Warnings: Slight spoiler on Scaramouche (Sumeru chapter) and Neuvillette (story quest and Fontaine chapter), some light agnst
Understands
Lyney knows the feeling, after all he’s the same way when his mental health issues flare up. He knows how it feels like to take on burdens by himself. He’d rather it be him than you so why don’t you ever ask him for help? I think he’d be the type to be more upset over you not asking for help with the little stuff. Even though it upsets him he can see why you wouldn’t mention big stuff like debt. What he doesn’t understand however, is why you don’t even ask him to do the small things like grab something for you from the store on his way back from work. It starts off as little complaints, to reassurance, to eventually an argument when he is at his wits. The argument will be huge since half of what he says is hypocritical and he knows it.
Xiao tries not to be around you too much to avoid his debt affecting you. At first he thought you were just being cautious when you avoided his help. Soon he realized that was just who you were. He wishes he could help you with everything you need, but the thought of it scares him. A part of him blames himself since you guys aren’t like normal couples. Xiao will ask you to call his name if you ever need anything. If you don’t it’ll worry him. When he’s around he tries to help you without you having to ask but will immediately stop if you ask him not to. The push and pull between wanting you to rely on him more and fear of causing you harm eats him alive. If he ever finds out you didn’t tell him about something you’ve been quietly struggling with he’ll so silent. Was he that bad of a husband? He knows that he isn’t the best man to come to when it comes to certain human struggles, but at the very least he’d listen. He isn’t sure how to address the situation.
Annoyed
Alhaitham will always sigh after you reject his help. He doesn’t understand why you do this. You know that he’s more than competent. He’s often forced to help people he doesn’t want to, yet here he is being unable to help the one person he cares for. He didn’t think you were this stubborn so when he finds out you’ve been struggling with something big he goes silent. He’ll stand in the doorway of your room, watching you for a moment. The woman he loves kept something so huge from him. He wants to yell at you. He wants to scream and berate you, but the sorrow in your eyes will instantly make him fold. He’ll hug you and whisper that it’ll be alright. Don’t think you got away with this though. After everything is dealt with he will make you come clean about everything and promise him that you’ll never hide struggles like this from him again. If something like this does happen again Alhaitham will feel betrayed thus leading to an inevitable divorce.
Baizhu can’t help but sigh every time he catches you taking on a task that is too big for you. He knows that trauma makes people do crazy things but he never expected you to keep such a big struggle a secret. He gets the urge to lecture you, but he quickly lowers his tone. The first thing he will do is make sure you are okay both mentally and physically. Afterwards he’d want to talk it out but the sudden information that you’d been lying to him about your wellbeing will cause him to be beyond frustrated. He knows better than to talk to you when he doesn’t have a clear head so he’ll tell you he’s going on a walk. He’ll stop right as he opens the door to remind you that he’s here when you need him. If anything happens you should call him. When he comes back he will give you a mix of comfort saying that “everything will be alright” and a lecture about how bad it is to try and handle everything by yourself.
Freminet feels useless when he finds out. You’re always such a big help to him so why can’t he help you? It especially upsets him when you don’t ask for help with the few things he’s good at like repairing the AC. He knows he isn’t the most useful person, but is there nothing he could do for you? One day he will get enough courage to offer to help you. If you say no he will have a dejected look. If he finds out you didn’t tell him about something huge it will only hurt his confidence more. He’s a pro at intel gathering and yet he didn’t notice? Why would you keep it from him? Did you think there was no point in telling him? He’ll be at a loss with how to deal with this situation. He won’t ask his siblings for advice unless Lynette pressures him into saying. He can’t talk to you about it since you always brush him off.
Lohen is equally as guilty at this. He can’t even give you points on why relying on others is important because he tries his best not to rely on others. Finding out that you’ve been struggling silently without him knowing makes him feel weak. It feels just like when Lohen first saw the signs of Adorno getting old, since Adorno first tried keeping it secret. Lohen isn’t vulnerable when he can help it. The situation scratches at him enough until he’s forced to tell you how he feels. If you remain stubborn he’ll relent. “Fine then, do whatever you want, ” Lohen begrudges. This doesn’t mean he stops worrying but he’ll let you struggle since you want to so much. He’ll quietly remind you that he’s here if you need help as your situation continues to spiral. Every time that you brush him off will only make him more and more upset. He’ll talk to the traveller about it but only when he’s at his wits end. He hates that he’s telling someone else his problems but at the end of his day you’re his wife. That means that you’ll always be his problem.
Kaveh doesn’t get why you’re being so stubborn. He’ll offer to help and clutch his fist whenever you say no for no good reason. He knows that relying on others can be embarrassing, but he’s your husband. Once you marry someone you have to give up such forms of embarrassment. When he finds out you kept something big from he’s genuinely shocked. He doesn’t want to believe that you’d keep something like this from him. He will ask you about it. When you don’t answer him his emotions will switch from confusion to a mix of sadness and anger. Why didn’t you tell him? Yeah he has his own issues but he can afford to have a few more if it means you’ll have less to worry about. It’ll lead to an argument, an argument filled with hints of love and care. He will hold you by your arms and make you swear you’ll never keep your struggles silent again.
Razor is used to seeing couples share equal responsibilities, so what’s up with you trying to take on everything by yourself? He doesn’t like it, not one bit. He’s constantly trying to get you to rely on him. He’s asked everyone he knows for advice on how to get you to be less independent. When he can he tries to help anyway even if you say no. When he finds out you’ve been struggling silently he’s at a loss for what to say. He doesn’t have the vocabulary to express everything he’s feeling right now. He’ll say a sentence like: “Angry…very angry…mate, why not tell me?” You’ll have no idea what he’s trying to tell you but his facial expression speaks volumes. He’ll get Lisa to act as his spokesperson. She isn’t stepping in though. Afterwards you’ll get the silent treatment from Razor. You won’t be able to find him anywhere for a couple of days. Only then will Lisa talk to you about how you made him feel. If you’re in Wolvendom he will still keep an eye on you. He’ll step in if you’re in any danger. After that though he’s gone again. A conversation from his pack members is what makes him find you days later to clear the air.
Tighnari really doesn’t like this type of attitude. Everyone needs help sometimes. You are apart of his life so you must accept his help. He’ll often make comments on how this type of mindset will hurt you in the long run. If he ever finds out you’ve been struggling with something silently he will first offer to help you. If you say no he’ll tell you straight up that he refuses to be with someone who acts this way. “It is okay to need help sometimes. It’s one thing to not allow me to help you carry the groceries. It’s another for you to keep the fact that you’ve been struggling with…. just so I wouldn’t help you. We’re married. You can’t just keep everything to yourself. You are not a burden and neither are your problems so stop acting like it’ll burn you if you ever tell me that you need help.”
Sad
Bennett has had a feeling that you’ve been hiding something. He knew you were hyper independent. It’s one of the many things he finds amazing about you. Still, he didn’t like how you never relied on him. He was especially upset when he found out you went out without taking Bennett’s adventure team with you. He saw the signs but when he finds out you hid something that’s been silently killing you he’s at a loss. He isn’t sure how to feel. He immediately thinks about the problem as both of your problem. For example if you had accumulated a massive debt he isn’t sure what to do. He will try to think about ways to get both you guys out the situation. He’s sad that you don’t trust him enough to tell him when you need help but he isn’t mad about it. He’d only get fed up if multiple big things happened and you still refuse to rely on him after he helps you get through them.
Kazuha doesn’t like seeing you overwork yourself with every little thing. He might not be able to erase your burden but at the very least he can help ease it. He’ll constantly reassure you that he’s here for you, even if you ignore it. If he ever finds out that you’ve been struggling silently with something big his reaction would depend on how it affected your wellbeing. If it didn’t harm you in any way he will be rightfully upset but will first focus on getting you out of your situation. If he found out your actions had a mental or physical toll on you then you’ll be in for an argument. You have never seen Kazuha this mad at you before. He doesn’t take your wellbeing lightly. He’s willing to go against anyone who poses a threat to your safety, even if that person is you. Kazuha is full of communication so it’s hard for you to go against any of his points. He doesn’t yell at you or anything which will only make his disappointment more apparent. Kazuha is the type of guy to make you shrink when he’s mad because he’s almost never mad at you.
Durin thought he’d know how to deal with an independent lover. You aren’t the only one in his life who refuses to accept help. Scaramouche was the same way when Durin first met him. He figured out how to navigate around Scaramouche’s tendencies so why can’t he navigate yours? He’ll explain to you over and over why you shouldn’t try to do everything by yourself. It’ll lead to countless arguments that never fully get resolved. If he ever finds out you’ve been keeping something huge from him he’ll feel heartbroken. It’ll end in a huge argument. Soon he’ll go to Albedo and tell him the situation. Durin cares for you so much but you don’t seem to care how he feels when he finds out that you keep doing things that slowly break you. Depending on the severity of the secret Albedo might advise that Durin leave or at the very least give you an ultimatum. Durin will refuse but after some thought he’ll do it. He loves you but he can’t allow himself to continue to be hurt by your stubbornness. He’ll be close to tears when he decides to tell you that he can’t do the relationship anymore.
Neuvillette believes that if he remains a steady rock in your life that you’ll one day learn to trust him enough to tell him your problems. He’s lived a long time. He knows that things like this take time. Sometimes he’ll wish that you would rely on him more, but he won’t ever mention it to you. If he finds out that you kept something from him that you’ve been struggling with he will go silent. The silent that Neuvillette gets when he’s hit with his past. He’s lost so many people because they stayed quiet about their problems. Carol, Vautrin, and even Furina were all dear people that he lost due to them refusing to seek him out during their times of need. He won’t make the same mistakes again. This time he will make sure that you let him help you. Neuvillette is an intelligent man so he’ll think of the best course of action to help you. Expect rain in your forecast as you two deal with this relationship test.
Diluc doesn’t understand why you’re so against him helping you. It reminds him of many of the old knights he used to work with. He wants to allow you to have your own independence, but he finds it hard to just sit there and watch you struggle with things. If Diluc finds out you’ve been silently struggling with something he will deal with the problem first, lecture you later.
Just stops giving you an option
Heizou knows the pressure of being forced to be independent from a young age. Once you get used to it you find it hard to stop. He helps you the way he wishes others would help him. He just doesn’t allow to say no. He forces you to accept his help until you willingly come for his help. He knows why you’re like this so he doesn’t blame you. If he finds out you were struggling with something big like financial issues that he didn’t know about he will become very upset with himself. How didn’t he see the signs? Heizou is the type to try to carry both your worlds on his shoulders. He’ll begin to wonder what else you’re hiding since it takes a skilled actor for him to not notice these things. He’ll begin to over analyze you to try and find out what else you’re struggling with. Eventually both of your stubbornness becomes bad for both of your mental healths.
Kinich was rather annoyed with how you were acting when you first got together. It’s not many that he’s willing to help without any payment and yet you refused to accept his free help. Eventually it got to the point where he just stopped asking you if you needed help and just helped you. He’d ignore any unsolicited refusals. If he ever found out you were struggling with something huge and never told him he’d go silent. I think he’d honestly rethink a future with you since what good is you guys being married if you can’t rely on each other when you need to? Has he not proven that he is a reliable man?
Flins loved how much of a capable person you were. Before you got together he’d even dump a few of his responsibilities on you. Once you got married he thought you’d naturally ease into relying on him. When you didn’t he tried to subtly introduce himself into your daily routines. If you still refuse to let him in he will be appalled. Why would anyone want to work this hard when someone else is offering. Eventually he just jumps into tasks before you say no with the excuse that he just “couldn’t help himself.” If he finds out about something big you’ve been silently struggling with he will first be a little upset about your lack of communication. He will also take it as an opportunity to gain your trust. He’ll make you swear never to hide anything like this again. If you hide even small things after that he will hold you accountable. Eventually you’re forced to give up.
Gaming has met your type before. He knows he’s supposed to be patient until you learn that you can depend on him, but he finds it hard to just sit there. He wants to make your life as easy as possible so he helps on instinct. Even if you scold him he’ll just laugh it off and tell you that “this is what a husband’s for.” Relationships are all about helping each other so he has to find ways to help you. If you’re really stubborn about it he will try to be more subtle with how he helps you. Sometimes you’ll catch him loosening jars or reorganizing your cabinets so things are easier for you to reach. When he finds out you kept something big like financial struggle from him he’ll put on his best angry expression and lecture you. Once he thinks you got the point he’ll instantly crumble. He’ll begin reassuring you that everything will be fine. He’ll almost immediately start thinking of how to get you out of the situation.
Childe/Tartaglia/Ajax never gave you the option to say no in the first place. “Let me help you,” isn’t a request it’s a command. He fews your overly independence as an inconvenience not a flaw. He’s great at keeping tabs on you so he knows what you need without having to ask. Assuming you’re a normal woman he has a secret bodyguard or two tailing you. He just doesn’t want you to accidentally get hurt. If you somehow manage to keep something as big as financial struggle from him he’ll come home with a smile. He might even act casual. Wait until you try to get close to him to hug or kiss him. He’ll hold you but you can tell someone is wrong. “So when were you going to tell me?” Childe will inquire. You’ll look at him confused, “tell you what?” “When were you going tell me that you…?” You’ll look at him and instinctively try to take a step back, but you’re silly if you think he’ll let you. Only now do you notice a vein slightly bulging in his forehead. The smile he wears in an angry one. You’re in huge trouble.
Scaramouche/Wanderer is always irritated when you decline his help because you don’t want to be a burden. “Let me help.” Scaramouche will tsk as he assists you despite your hesitations. He’s learning to rely on others so he thinks so should you. If he ever finds out you’ve been keeping something huge from him he won’t immediately come find you. Instead he’ll find a quiet place to just think. Hope that Nahida finds him because she’ll help him process his emotions a lot better. If she does it’ll be a lot easier for him to talk calmly when he confronts you. If she doesn’t he’ll raise his voice. He’ll be even more frustrated as he does so since he’s been working on never yelling at you but he just can’t help it. At one point his eyes will get all watery and he’ll begin to cry. He doesn’t even know what he’s crying about. Is it because he’s angry that you’d keep something from him? Or is it because he hates how he didn’t notice your suffering? Maybe it’s the fact that he’s been trying not to keep secrets from you and now this feels like a mini betrayal that you’ve decided he wasn’t worth telling. Either way he’s trying his best to wipe his tears away. This can end one of two ways: he ends up yelling at you placing an almost permanent strain on how you view each other or he storms out for another quiet walk. I don’t think he’d be able to properly explain his feelings right away. The whole ideal would probably take months of repair work on both ends for you guys to learn to trust each other.
Confused
Gorou isn’t sure how to get you to rely on him. Yes independence is an admirable trait, but as a general he knows how important it is to rely on others. Everyone has limits, even you. The first few months he’ll try to compensate by constantly asking you to help with every little thing. He’s hoping you’ll at least say yes to some things. Whenever you say no you’ll see his ears go flat. If he ever finds out you kept something big from him he won’t know what to say. All he can asks is “Why?” He’s your husband. What reason is there for you to keep things like this to yourself. He’ll talk to Kokomi or another soldier about it. They’ll tell him that he should be mad, instead he’s just confused. What does this mean for you guys? How is he supposed to keep you safe if you hide everything that dangers you? Until you two are able to have a meaningful conversation, things between you guys are insanely awkward. Gorou isn’t sure what he feels.
Lets you struggle
Wriothesley won’t force you to let him help you. You’re an adult so you’re free to make adult choices. He’ll only step in when you make a choice that puts you in danger. He makes it clear that he’s always there for you when you need it so he won’t say you it out loud unless he thinks you need to hear it. The severity of what you’ve been silently struggling with will change how he deals with it. If it’s something that doesn’t actually pose a threat to him he’ll wait until you’re forced to come to him for help. “Well wasn’t that easy?” Wriothesley will respond to your reluctant plea. If it’s something that could have caused you great harm he will pull you into his office one day and lock the door the door behind you. He’ll be in such a serious mood that you’ll see no traces of tea on his desk. He’ll speak to you in his warden voice scaring you enough into sitting straight as you sit across from him. You’ll be in his office for hours after that discussing the negativity of your choices.
Am considering putting in a part two if I can figure out their reaction: Zhongli, Thoma, Xinqui, Venti, Varka, Kaeya, Itto, Cyno, Chongyun, Albedo + Snezhnaya men when released
Preview: You loved Alhaitham, as he did you. But at some point between you two falling in love and today, the relationship had fizzled out into a something hollow and unrecognizable. So he proposes a solution.
Word Count: 4.9k
Read Part 1 Here: The Retreat (Intro)
A/N: Finally got around to finishing the whole thing. Thank you to everyone who sent a note of encouragement. This was difficult to write, in part because it was different — because to actually convey healing is hard — and in part because this could have gone on endlessly. It could have ended on Day 1, or on Day 3, or Day 7, or go on past the month, because there's always a better romance to write.
The estate that Alhaitham had rented in Pardis Dhyai was breathtaking. Nestled against the edge of the sprawling botanical gardens, the house was a masterpiece of open architecture, surrounded by massive banyan trees and blooming Padisarahs. It was designed to be a sanctuary of absolute tranquility.
For the first forty-eight hours of your stay, it felt like a beautifully decorated prison.
The silence, previously a comfortable baseline between the two of you, was suddenly heavy and uncomfortable. Stripped of the protective armor of work and full schedules, you were both exposed. The realization of just how much distance had grown between you was no longer an abstract fear. It felt like a physical entity occupying the empty space in the room.
You both tried. Initially.
On the first morning, as you sat at the sunlit dining table, you attempted to initiate a conversation that wasn't about work or the Akademiya.
"The architecture here is interesting," you noted, tracing the rim of your teacup, staring at the carved wooden beams. "It reminds me of the older Kshahrewar designs near the bazaar."
Alhaitham paused with his coffee mug halfway to his mouth. He looked at the beams, then looked at you. "The structure of the beams is indeed slightly different, and the aesthetic influence is evident. Highly efficient."
And then the conversation died.
You had spent the last year speaking entirely in transactional exchanges: Did you pay the courier? Are you home for dinner? I have a meeting at four. You had forgotten how to simply talk to each other.
By the afternoon of the second day, the awkwardness had become so intense that you both instinctively retreated into your deflection habits.
Without any maps or commissions to obsess over, you turned your restless energy toward the physical environment. You were constantly moving. You took long, aimless walks around the perimeter of the gardens. You repotted a wilting fern you found on the patio. You slowly, meticulously reorganized the bookshelf in the hallway, aligning the spines with unnecessary precision.
Alhaitham, robbed of his heavy texts, defaulted to the only available substitute. He picked up the random literature scattered around the rented property: a botanical journal left by the owner, a traveler's almanac, a magazine on regional soil composition. He sat on the plush velvet sofa or the patio chairs, shielding himself behind the pages, retreating into the safe, familiar haven of solitary observation.
It was exactly what you did in Sumeru City, just transplanted to a prettier location.
On the morning of the third day, Alhaitham sat on the shaded patio, a cup of dark roast coffee resting on his knee. He had a copy of a regional forestry guide open in his lap, but he hadn't turned a page in twenty minutes.
His eyes were fixed on the glass doors leading into the kitchen.
You were inside, humming softly to yourself, with a damp cloth in your hand to wipe down the interior of the cupboards. It was the second time you had reorganized those specific cupboards since you arrived, and you were currently sorting the ceramic teacups by height. Your movements were slow, deliberate, and entirely unnecessary.
A pang of guilt twisted in Alhaitham's chest, heavy and uncomfortable.
Alhaitham recalled, with vivid clarity, the early days of your relationship. The sharp debates you used to have late into the night. The sound of your laugh when he offered a particularly dry critique of another scholar. How you used to sit sideways on his armchair, your legs draped over the armrest, completely at ease in his space.
Now, he was watching you reorganize clean teacups just to avoid having to sit in the same room as him without a task to buffer the silence.
He had miscalculated. For whatever reason, he assumed that simply changing your physical location and removing the distraction of your jobs would force the relationship to reset. That silent proximity was enough.
But looking at you through the glass, a painful realization washed over him: you weren't running from your work — you were running from him, and from the reality that you didn't know how to be partners anymore. And he, by retreating behind a meaningless magazine on the patio, was actively proving the point.
Complacency was a slow-acting poison, and he had let it infect the most important variable in his life. For a man who viewed knowledge as the ultimate currency, the realization that he was entirely ignorant of how to fix his relationship with the woman he loved was agonizing.
Alhaitham set the forestry guide down next to his coffee. He stood up, pushed open the glass doors, and stepped into the kitchen.
You didn't hear him approach over the quiet clinking of the ceramic. You had just picked up a pale green teacup, debating whether it belonged in the front row or the back, when a large hand wrapped around your wrist.
His grip was gentle. He moved closer, his other hand coming to rest flat on the counter beside your hip, boxing you in against it.
A beat of silence followed, and as the teacup in your hand hung suspended in the air, you turned around to face him, expecting him to say something after invading your space so suddenly.
Thud thud.
You had forgotten what it felt like to have him this close. Close enough to see the faint flecks of red in his green eyes. Close enough that you wondered if he could hear the beat of your heart, or feel it through the pulse point on your wrist.
The silence stretched between you. You both knew what was happening, but neither of you had the slightest idea how to proceed. He stared down at you. You stared back. It felt like you were watching in slow motion as he opened his mouth to speak.
"The structural integrity of the left shelf," Alhaitham stated, his voice deadpan and deep, "is now identical to the right shelf. Further reorganization will yield a negative return on efficiency."
You blinked.
You stared at Alhaitham, arguably the most intelligent man in Sumeru, who had just cornered you against a counter to offer a critique of your teacup placement.
A moment passed.
And then a laugh bubbled up in your throat.
It started as a quiet breath, but the sheer absurdity of the situation shattered all your tension and the laugh broke free, bright and genuine, echoing warmly in the quiet room. You pressed your free hand to your mouth, shaking your head – because you knew this man, and you knew he only spoke like a filed report when he had run out of anything else to do with his hands.
Alhaitham didn't move. He simply watched you.
As the sound of your laugh filled the space between you, the uncomfortable knot in his chest dissolved. It hit him with a clarity just how long it had been since he had heard that sound. He had spent the last year optimizing his life, blind to the fact that he had slowly engineered the joy right out of his own home. Seeing the way your eyes crinkled at the corners, the way the genuine smile transformed your exhausted features, it was like finding a piece of a puzzle he didn't realize he had lost.
Your laughter slowly subsided and you looked back up at him, giving way to something lighter, though still fragile. He released your wrist, took the teacup from your hand and set it down on the counter, before letting his hand drop to his side.
"You keep moving," he stated as a fact, though the academic rigidity was gone from his voice. "You are constantly finding tasks to stay busy."
"I don't know how to just sit still anymore," you admitted, the honesty spilling out before you could stop it. You looked back up at the man you loved and realized he was trying. He had put the book down, and he had crossed the room.
You took a slow breath. "If I'm going to keep moving anyway..." you started softly, allowing a small smile to break through, "do you want to take a walk with me instead?"
Alhaitham looked at you for a long moment.
"I believe," he murmured, "that would be a good use of our time."
The transition from the kitchen to the sprawling paths of the estate was quiet, unmarked by any further attempts at forced conversation. You simply stepped out of the house, feeling the humid air wash over you, and Alhaitham fell into step beside you.
You walked aimlessly, following the stone paths that wove through the massive banyan trees and the clusters of Sumeru Roses.
For the first time in three days, the silence between you didn't feel so heavy. Not yet comfortable, but at least breathable, finally settling into something soft. It was this type of silence that had drawn you to the Scribe in the first place: the ability to share a stillness that didn't demand to be filled with transactional chatter.
As you walked, listening to the soft crunch of gravel beneath your shoes, you couldn't help but think, when was the last time you had actually done this? Just walked, side by side, with no destination in mind.
Your walks together as of late were brisk, calculated marches to and from places. Every step in your lives had been optimized for efficiency, and you had forgotten what it felt like to simply exist in motion with him, letting the afternoon sun filter through the canopy to dapple the path ahead.
He matched your slower pace, moving with the quiet grace he inherently possessed. He wasn't checking the angle of the sun to calculate the time. He was simply walking too.
As the path narrowed between two large hedges, the back of his hand brushed against yours. And muscle memory flared.
For a second, the urge to shift your arm, turn your palm, and lace your fingers through his was consuming. You glanced at the small gap between your hands, and decided to keep your hands close to you.
When did holding your lover's hand become this awkward?
It felt absurd. You knew every ridge on his palm, and could map every muscle across his chest. But now, bridging that gap felt as intimidating as scaling the walls of the Chasm without a harness. You were terrified of rushing it, of breaking this fragile new peace by asking for a physical connection that you felt you hadn't earned the right to bear.
You tucked your hand into the pocket of your dress. Maybe, you told yourself, you didn't need to force a romantic gesture to prove that things were healing. Rebuilding the foundation required patience, not panic.
You sent another brief glance toward his face this time. The tense line of his jaw had relaxed, and his eyes were tracking the expanse of the gardens.
You smiled, turning your gaze back to the path. Your hand remained in your pocket, but your heart felt lighter than it had in a year. The silence was acceptable, the distance was closing, and he was walking right beside you. For today, that win was enough.
---
The tension of the first three days had slowly begun to thin, and the estate turned into a place where you could practice being a person again.
You still took your walks through the gardens, but now he walked right beside you. If you started wiping down the kitchen counter, he picked up a towel and dried the dishes right next to you. And when he inevitably found a new book in the estate's premises, you sat next to him on the couch, close enough that your thigh brushed his, reading a novel of your own.
The transactional exchanges were replaced by increasingly natural attempts at real conversation. He would ask you about the plot of the book you were reading. You would ask him to explain a complex Haravatat theory, and he would take the time to break it down for you.
And the silence, when it was there, at long last, felt comfortable.
It felt like walking on a frozen lake, testing the ice with every step, but the ice was holding.
---
On the afternoon of the seventh day, the sky over Pardis Dhyai darkened to a deep blue. A sudden downpour shattered the quiet, with the rain drumming loudly against the glass wall, trapping you both inside the house.
You were sitting on the rug, leaning back against the base of the sofa, watching the rain streak down the glass. Alhaitham was sitting on the couch to your right, a book resting on his lap.
He hadn't turned a page in ten minutes.
You heard the soft thud of the book closing, followed by the sound of him setting it on the coffee table. You tilted your head back to look at him and found him already looking down at you, his eyes focused and carrying an intensity that he usually reserved for deciphering ancient ruins.
"I have an inquiry," Alhaitham stated, his voice easily cutting through the sound of the rain.
"Alright," you replied, turning slightly to give him your full attention. "What is it?"
He didn't hesitate. "Why have you decided that you no longer wish to hold my hand?"
The question took you aback so completely that you needed a moment.
"What?"
"Four days ago, while we were walking," Alhaitham clarified, his tone perfectly even but his eyes clearly watching your expression. "The distance between us narrowed. I observed the shift in your posture, the withdrawal of your hand, and the decision to pocket it to ensure no accidental contact occurred. I'm attempting to understand why you have established this specific physical boundary."
You didn't notice yourself holding your breath. He had been watching the whole time. While you thought you had hidden your quiet crisis on the garden path, he had noted every second of it.
"Alhaitham..."
You weren't so sure how to explain without rambling or allowing yourself to break.
"...I wasn't setting a boundary," you spoke slowly. Carefully. "I didn't pull away because I didn't want to touch you."
His brow furrowed. "Then why?"
You looked away from him and turned your gaze back to the garden.
"Because I forgot how," you whispered.
The admission sounded loud in the quiet room. You made yourself breathe. Alhaitham waited, and didn't rush you.
"It felt like bridging a canyon. I know that's silly."
You pulled your knees to your chest and wrapped your arms around them.
"We haven't been partners in more than a year, Alhaitham." Your voice shook. You kept going anyway. "When I'm drowning in work, I don't turn to you. I take on more work. Because burying myself in it still felt lighter than sitting in our house and admitting that I'm lonely when you're in the same room."
The silence after it swallowed everything. Even the rain went quiet.
Then fabric rustled. The sofa shifted. Alhaitham came down off the couch and sat on the floor beside you, and took your hand, and rested your joined hands on his knee.
"I am arrogant," he said.
You turned to look at him. What you found on his face – sadness, guilt, something older than both – made your heart ache.
"I had never been so consumed by a person until I met you. And yet I was arrogant enough to believe my presence was sufficient. That the relationship was secure. I should have been present for you. Instead I starved you." He held your eyes. "It was foolish, and I apologize."
He looked down at your hands. His jaw tightened, briefly, before he met your eyes again.
"You use your work as a shield because my complacency forged it for you." He squeezed your hand. "I cannot rewrite the last year. But I no longer consider this puzzle solved."
You looked at him. Really looked. And the weight of the last twelve months finally lifted off your chest.
A shaky breath. Then a smile, small and real.
Alhaitham held your gaze a moment longer.
"When we return to the city," he asked quietly, "will you tell me about the northern ravine routes you were mapping? I never asked how the terrain shifted after the last sandstorm."
It was a simple question. That was all it was, and that was the whole of it, him turning off his calculus and choosing to be in your life.
"We don't have to wait until we return," you murmured, leaning your head against his shoulder. "I'll tell you tonight."
His arm came around you, pulling you against his side. "That would be nice."
You stayed like that the rest of the afternoon. The need to move had gone. For the first time in months you were simply in his space, listening to the rain hit the glass.
It was only when the stiffness in your legs became impossible to ignore that you shifted. You smiled at him as you broke the embrace.
"I'm going to put the kettle on."
"Chamomile," Alhaitham requested, his eyes tracking you as you stood and walked towards the kitchen. You brewed it the way he liked it and came back with two mugs. He was off the floor by then, standing at the glass, watching the weather turn. You handed him his, and for a few minutes you both just stood there watching the world outside.
The rain thinned to a drizzle. The clouds broke open on a Sumeru sunset, with gold and orange and violet bleeding into each other.
"It's pleasant now," he said, looking from the sky to you. "Would you care to take a walk?"
A smile. "I would."
You set your mug down and followed him out.
As you stepped off the stone patio onto the gravel, you didn't let yourself think too much about it. You reached out and slipped your hand into his. Alhaitham's fingers closed around yours. He said nothing, but his shoulders came down half an inch, and you read that more clearly than any answer he could have given.
You walked together under the dripping banyans, your hand in his. The silence had finally stopped being something you had to survive.
"The drainage down here is so much better than I’d expected," you said, watching the water funnel cleanly away from a massive root system. "I was looking at it yesterday. It mimics the landscaping in the northern rainforest, except it uses local ferns."
Alhaitham glanced at you. "You have been reading about ferns."
You smiled, "I have been reading about ferns."
"Since when?"
"Since the topography report near Avidya Forest. I had to catalog undergrowth density, and I ended up three chapters deep in an Amurta thesis on root systems." You laughed, your thumb moving against the back of his hand. "Did you know the Nilotpala Lotuses share a nutrient network with the moss around them?"
He stopped walking.
"I did not know you had an interest in Amurta."
"There's a lot you haven't heard about lately." You squeezed his hand, gently, so it wouldn't land as an accusation.
Something moved across his face that you hadn't seen in a year. It wasn’t quite surprise, but something that looked closer to appetite.
"Tell me more."
He started walking again, drawing you along with him, his thumb tracing slow passes over your knuckles. The last of the light went out of the gardens while you talked, and he listened to all of it, which was the part you had missed most, and the part you had stopped expecting.
The walk back was slow. Twilight had deepened to a starry indigo by the time the glass walls came into view, and your hand stayed in his the whole way.
Inside, the house felt different. The rain and the things you had said to each other had washed something out of it. You made dinner while Alhaitham lit the lamps. You whipped up a heavily spiced stew, nothing complicated, a dish you knew he liked. The routine of it was comforting rather than a way to stay busy, and you noticed the difference.
When you brought the plates out, you didn't take the seat across from him. You set yours down at his right side. He didn't comment. He shifted his chair a fraction closer, until your knees touched under the table.
"The ravines," he said.
You looked up. He had put his fork down.
So you told him. About the sandstorm that had moved eleven meters of sediment in a single night and buried one side of the ravines entirely. About the four days you spent re-surveying a route you had already surveyed twice. About the escort who had insisted the ravine was cursed, and how you had almost started believing him by the third day.
Alhaitham asked questions. Not the kind meant to demonstrate that he had been listening, but the kind that meant he wanted to know. He interrupted you twice to argue with your methodology, and you argued back with your mouth full, and the stew went cold on both your plates.
You didn't notice until you reached for your glass and found the room had gone dark around you, the lamps burning low.
You had been talking for two hours.
"That was the longest conversation we've had in a year," you said.
Alhaitham considered this. "Then we are behind."
The evening settled with a mix of sounds from the rainforest coming through the half-open doors, and the exhaustion of the day arrived all at once, heavy and not unwelcome.
You moved through your routines around each other. The shared washroom felt close rather than crowded. And when you finally got into bed, the room was cool and the curtains were drawn.
You took the left side. The mattress dipped as Alhaitham settled into the right.
For a year, this was where the wall came down. Opposite directions, a clipped goodnight, separate worlds. He turned off the lamp, the room went to moonlight and shadow, and he leaned over the center of the mattress.
You closed your eyes and waited for the kiss on the cheek, the frictionless thing he had performed every night for months.
His lips touched your skin and stayed.
It was a whole second longer than usual, and the difference was enormous. You could feel the warmth of his breath at your temple and the deliberate press of his mouth, saying something the quick ones never had.
He drew back, his face still close to yours in the dark.
"Good night," he murmured.
The same two words he always used. Nothing else about it was the same.
"Good night," you whispered back.
Alhaitham didn’t move, and your eyes were fixed on him. Something rose in your chest, thick and sudden, and your eyes stung but you blinked it back. You had done enough crying over this relationship while it was breaking. You weren't going to cry now that it wasn't.
You stayed still for a heartbeat. Then you leaned in.
You went slowly, watching him, afraid of misreading it. But the small furrow between his brows, the one that meant he was working something out, smoothed and vanished.
Then you caught it – a small smile. Not the flicker at the corner of his mouth. An actual smile.
You closed the last inch and kissed him. It was slow, and it was certain. Alhaitham let out a breath against your mouth, his hand coming up to cup your jaw, his thumb catching the tear that had escaped after all, and he kissed you back.
---
The rest of the month was not a transformation. It was a slow and gradual correction, applied daily.
You learned how to sit still. You stopped pacing the halls and re-sorting cupboards that were already in order. Mornings, you sat on the patio with a cup of the chamomile he had asked for on the day of the rain. You had kept making it, and then you had started making it for yourself, and you watched the light come through the banyans, and that was the entire activity.
Alhaitham learned to look up. He still read – because he was never going to stop reading – but the book stopped being a wall. When he caught you staring out at the gardens, he would mark his page, close it, and ask what you were thinking about. Then he would wait for the answer.
It wasn't seamless. On the nineteenth day, a courier found the estate.
The letter was from the Guild. A route past Aaru had gone bad, and you were the only one with the original survey notes. But it was not an emergency. It was the kind of thing that would still be there in eleven days.
You read it twice at the kitchen table. Then you got a sheet of paper.
You had been at it for close to an hour when you registered that the house had gone quiet in the old way. Alhaitham was on the sofa with a book. He hadn't turned a page. He wasn't looking at you.
The old version of this went one of two ways. He said nothing and you worked until midnight, or he said something perfectly correct about your sleep and you resented him for it.
He set the book down, and you know because it made a sound when he placed it down on the table, which it doesn’t usually. Without having to look up, you knew his gaze was on you.
"I'm not going to take the letter away from you," he said.
You put your pen down. "I know."
"I would like to know whether you're answering it because it needs answering."
You looked at the half page you'd written. Eleven days. A survey nobody was waiting on.
"No," you said.
Alhaitham leaned back against the couch and pressed him hand to the empty space next to him. There was no anger in his words. "Then come sit down."
That was all of it. You left the letter where it was, and you sat next to him on the sofa with your thigh brushing his. He went back to his book. You fell asleep there sometime in the afternoon.
You answered the Guild on the twenty-first day. It took twenty minutes. Then you went out to the gardens.
On the afternoon of the last day, you walked hand in hand through the gardens at Pardis Dhyai. The air was thick and cool and smelled of wet earth and Sumeru Roses.
"This trellis is doing something clever," you said, tracing a vine with your free hand, leaning in to look at the base. "They've grafted the roots so it survives the humidity without rotting. I've read about the technique. Seeing it is not the same."
Alhaitham stood beside you, content to let you set the pace. He wasn't looking at the trellis. "You have picked up a great deal of Amurta in four weeks."
"I had a quiet month and a very good library." You looked up at him. "And it's restful. A change from calculating cliff erosion."
"I'm glad."
He tugged gently on your joined hands and turned you toward him. The dry amusement went out of his eyes, and something heavier took its place.
He didn't hurry. His fingers slid into the hair at the nape of your neck, and he stepped close enough that you felt the heat of him, and tilted your face up.
The kiss was deep and unhurried. It wasn't the tentative one from three weeks ago in the dark. This one had no question left in it. You made a small sound against his mouth, your free hand sliding up to rest over his heart, and found it going faster than the rest of him let on.
When he pulled back, he kept his forehead against yours. Neither of you was breathing quite evenly.
"Tomorrow we go back," he said, his thumb moving across your cheek.
Anxiety went through you, quick and purely out of reflex. Sumeru City meant the Akademiya. It meant the Guild, and the schedules, and the exact conditions that had hollowed the two of you out in the first place.
"I know." You looked up at him. "That's the real test."
"Only if we don't hold to it." He said it without hesitation. "When I'm home, the manuscripts stay in the study. Not the living room. Not our bedroom."
Your heart turned over. He was taking it apart piece by piece, in the plainest language he had.
"Then I'll leave the maps at the Guild," you said. "Unless someone is going to die on a desert route, the commissions don't come home. The dining table is for dinner."
"Agreed." The corner of his mouth lifted.
He shifted his hold and wrapped both arms around your waist, pulling you flush against him.
"The hours between the end of work and sleep are ours," he said against your temple. "They are not to be optimized, or scheduled, or traded for anything."
You put your arms around his neck and your face against his shoulder, and the loneliness of the last year felt like something that had happened to someone else.
"Ours," you said.
You stood there in the middle of the garden with everything blooming around you. The month was over, and you felt like you were home.
A/N: I know I literally just said in the post before this that I would finish the other story before moving on to a new one – but this particular one has had me in a chokehold for the last week, and I needed to share a little bit of it to feel like I can let go for now. I'm not really sure if this is what I want to call the story. It may or may not change, but the title stays for now.
The TLDR is: Alhaitham in an LDR. It ends that way, but it has a whole beginning to it. A full 12k words of beginning to it.
Word Count: ~400
Sumeru City has not changed in his absence, which Alhaitham finds mildly irritating.
The House of Daena still smells of dust and preservatives. His office is as he left it, minus four documents which Kaveh will deny having moved, and one chair, which Kaveh will deny having borrowed. The Akademiya's administrative failures have compounded in exactly the ways he predicted before his departure. That ought to be satisfying, but instead, it only confirms that nothing here required his attention badly enough to notice he was gone.
Alhaitham works. He is very good at working. It occupies the hours.
What it does not do — and this is the part he finds genuinely novel — is stop him from remembering.
Alhaitham has never forgotten anything of consequence. It is one of his best assets, especially for his job as a Scribe, and he stopped considering it remarkable many years ago. He has also never before had any reason to consider it a hazard.
And yet, a hazard to his critical functioning was exactly what it was.
He could recall the precise angle of her head when she was about to concede a point. He could recall the sound she made in the water, which is not useful information and arrives to him unbidden at least once a day, generally during correspondence. He could recall the way she said 'I like your face' with her chin up, daring him to file it incorrectly.
He recalls all of it at full resolution, sometimes on demand and more frequently not on demand. There is no version of it that fades in the way that other people's memories apparently do. He had understood in theory that this would be the case for him. He had not understood what it would actually be like, nor did he anticipate how difficult it would be.
He starts the letter on the fourth day back and does not finish it for two more, which is, by a considerable margin, the longest he has ever spent on a piece of writing under two thousand words.
"You've rewritten that four times," Kaveh observes from the doorway with enormous interest.
"Three," he counters unceremoniously.
"You have a draft pile. You don't draft. You've never drafted anything in your life, you just say the finished version out loud and people write it down."
"Go away, Kaveh."
"Is it for—"
"Go away, Kaveh."
Alhaitham decided he would finish writing another time.
I was halfway through writing the real meat of the Alhaitham story (the intro of which I posted a few weeks back) and somehow found myself in a creative spiral. Upwards. That hasn't happened in a long while.
Being stuck trying to finish the story somehow led to me writing a new Alhaitham story, and then a third, and then one for Wriothesley as well. All four of which are unfinished, but collectively sit at over 40k words. I don't really know how this happened, and I can't decide if it's a good thing or a bad thing to be handling this much desire to write.
Forcing myself to sit down this weekend and actually finish the first. It's just healing and fluff and awkwardness, and I don't really want it to end but it should.
