I can’t get domestic alien bf being a menace out of my head:
They started taking Human Studies courses to surprise you with small gestures. Unfortunately, he gets more than a little carried away…
Attempting to change your diet on a dime for the most “optimal” human diet. Resulting in you getting sick, which freaked him out to the point he nearly dragged you to the hospital. Until you explained that humans can’t just change their diets on a whim like that. He calmed down, compromising the dietary shifts and actually listening to you instead of just making the choice by himself.
Moving all your furniture around, changing out your curtains, adding so many little changes to your decorations for what he learned about the “optimal” human nest (house). Until you explained what your personal style was and why it was better than the thing he tried to do. Though the potted plants were allowed to stay, he agreed to care for them afterall.
Though the worst had to be when he began the hygiene courses. Insisting on fixing your habits, stopping you first thing in the morning to “help” you brush your teeth… by doing it for you. Brushing out your hair and putting up/styling it for you before you leave for work. And showering with you…
It wasn’t very fun, romantic, or sexy. He was being too meticulous with washing behind your ears, your legs, your face. Everything felt so awkward, even as he reached for your ass. You really should have waited to make a snarky remark. Telling him this felt like an excuse to be insanely intimate just as he slipped the scrunchy thing half up your ass. It was wildly uncomfortable… and you weren’t able to reach around at the moment given how close he was to you.
Maybe the human courses weren’t such a good idea…
