do you ever just think about how much dan and phil love each other like I'll be watching crack vids and you can just see that they love each other and they complete each other and I love them so much and they're just both so happy and oh look I'm crying
It's been three days since I stayed at his messy room. Tons of scrap materials were everywhere. All I could see was the giant robot that he finished creating weeks before his death. The angelic face of the creator of this majestic invention was no more, and it infuriates me. The smell of burning copper enveloped the whole place... and it reminded me of his hardwork. The efforts he made for Baymax was out of this world. Tadashi had given so much, and now that he's gone, no one would be able to make use of his invention.
Except for Hiro.
"(First Name)..." A voice came from outside, followed by a series of slow knocks. I did not answer, or let's just say.. I don't have the energy to answer anymore. It took me a moment to realize it was Tadashi's younger brother who was calling me.
"(First Name)... Let's eat. I have instant ramen."
"I don't want to." I weakly replied. I leaned my head on the wall that was once Tadashi's sleeping place. It's the only spot I could feel him breathing, at least for now. I grabbed the remote control and pressed a button. Baymax started to fold itself in his briefcase.
Hiro made another knock, slower than before... then I heard him sniff.
"Please..." Hiro pleaded. "I don't want to eat alone.." He muttered after a few sniffs.
"Come in." I commanded him. After a few moments, Hiro entered Tadashi's room and with a tray of food in his hand, made his way to the place where I was sitting.
"Leave the door open, hun."
"Yes.. (First Name)." Hiro answered. He placed a cup of instant noodles and a pair of chopsticks in front of me. "I'm sorry I can't do much."
"It's alright, Hiro."
The younger Hamada leaned his head on the wall, looking at the room that was once Tadashi's haven. I pulled him to an embrace, and in return, Hiro leaned his head on my chest.
"I miss onii-chan." He suddenly muttered. Those three words clouded my eyes instantly. It was hard for me to realize that Tadashi's already gone, but it's harder for the younger Hamada. I placed my chin on top of his head and wept silently. I must be the stronger one, even though my emotional defenses are already shattered by Tadashi's loss.
"I miss him, too."
"Say, (First Name)-niichan/-neechan, How was it working with Tadashi-nii?" Hiro suddenly sputtered. My eyes widened. I wasn't preapred to reminisce the good memories that I had with Tadashi, not to mention our romantic relationship. I heaved a couple of deep sighs, preparing for the overflow of feelings this might hit me.
"Tadashi was a good man, an angel in human clothing." I started. "When we first met, I thought he was a snub, but little did I know that he was more approachable than anyone else." I closed my eyes and reminisced my first encounter with my lover.
"You see, Hiro..."
"Was he that good?" Hiro butted in, curiosity wrapped around his tone.
"Oh, my. He was excellent. He never gives up no matter what the cost. He was a very handsome man just like you. He motivated me to finish my invention and he was the one who taught me the codes for my robot. He was that smart." I bit my lower lip to suppress the waves of emotions hitting my insides. I knew that any moment I might weep again, but I mustn't. I need to strengthen myself up for Hiro.
After a deep sigh, I continued my piece. "Whenever I felt down and depressed, he motivated me. Whenever I was sick, he took care of me. Whenever I needed affection.."
I could feel my heart bursting with sadness.
"..he gave me love.. more.. tenfold.. hundredfold.." I paused. It was too much for me, I couldn't help but reminisce all of the things that made me love him unconditionally. I leaned my head on the younger Hamada's head and continued to cry. I became vulnerable again, because the mere fact that Tadashi died shattered our dreams and aspirations.
"...H-He loved m-me more than I wanted him to l-love me.."
"(First Name)-niichan/nee-chan..." Hiro looked at me.
"He was the only person I need, Hiro. He was the man I loved with all of my heart... I love him.. and will love him.. always..
"There will be no more Tadashi in this world. The Tadashi I loved, the Tadashi that we loved is already gone... and it hurts. Why do we have to lose him..?" I howled painfully. "I love him so much..!"
The younger Hamada watched me break down, and as much as he wanted to help, he didn't know what to do. The answers were beyond his maturity yet. He lowered his eyes and pulled me, embracing my weak body. He then cried silently on my chest, sharing the pain that was circulating in my veins. I wrapped my hands on his body. We stayed on that position for a few minutes.
"Hiro.." I broke the embrace. "Look at niichan/neechan.."
Hiro faced me, and the pain were vivid in his eyes, I immediately raised my thumb and brushed against his wet cheek, wiping his tears.
"Be strong for your brother. Be strong for us. Always remember.." I paused. "T-Tadashi's not really g-gone.. a-as long as w-we remember him.."
The younger Hamada's tears started to sprung again. I know it's hard to face the reality that the person we loved was already gone, and there's no way that we could flip the reality back.
"But.. Tadashi's already dead.." Hiro retorted.
"I know.. But here's the thing.." I held both of his shoulders "He never gave up on us, and he never will. We need to be strong for him... for our own sake.. He's up there, creating masterpieces with angels and saints. Aren't you happy about that?" I asked the younger Hamada.
"B-but I need him.."
"He left us becasue he know that we can take care of ourselves already. We will be strong for him. We will.."
I then hugged Hiro and kissed his forehead. "He'll always take care of you, Hiro."
"I know..." he answered.
At the corner of my eye I knew Tadashi's looking at us, smiling like an idiot. I closed my eyes to feel his presence more.
I felt a warm brush on my cheek.
I know.
It was him kissing me.
"It will not be the last kiss we'll share, Tadashi." I whispered.
