Anxiety was a monster. It hid under the bed, in the closet, in the mirror, in the kitchen, and any place it could be seen but not heard. It walked on tip toes until it’s breath was warm on the back of your neck. The touch of those spidery hands sent a wave of shock through the chest. Until it manifested into a suffocating feeling of cotton trapped in the lungs.
What summoned the beast was unknown. Little things beckoned it from the depths at odd times throughout the day. Only one thing was known, it built, and built, and built until it boiled over.
Chloe walked briskly from the landing pad towards the lockers. Her heart was beating too fast, her lungs wouldn’t fill, and her hands shook on their own accord. The suit was too tight. She couldn’t breathe. Pressing her eyes shut she struggled to try and find a sense of calm. Nothing came.
As soon as she crossed the threshold, Chloe reached for the zipper on the back of the suit but she couldn’t find it. It was there. It had to be. She knew it was. There was no reason for it to be gone-but where was it? Groaning, Chloe ran a hand down her face. She needed to calm down.
“You okay?” The question startled her, and Chloe turned to find Piper perched on the edge of a bench drying her hair from a post training shower.
“Y-Yes. I just can’t-“ Piper seemed to know what she needed and stood. Crossing the room she tugged the zipper down with ease.
“Nasty things, zippers.” Piper smiled, patting Chloe’s shoulder good naturedly.
“Mmm.” Chloe nodded, doing her best not to seem frantic as she stripped down. Shoving the suit into her locker, she made a straight shot for the showers hoping it would help. It didn’t.
She needed a distraction. Something to keep her brain occupied until it all passed. She needed to ignore it. Once dressed, Chloe made her way to the living room. Head down, she nestled into one of the couches and attempted to read. It went well for a while.
But as usual her mind began to wander. The pages became blurry as she read the same sentence over and over again. Her fingers shook the thin pages, and her head seemed foggy. She couldn’t think.
Swallowing hard, Chloe set the book aside to rest her head in her hands. None of it made sense. She hated this. “Please, just go away.”
“Chlo.” Arthur said for the fifth time. “Hey.”
Setting his hand gently on Chloe’s shoulder, Arthur coaxed his sister to look at him. “I’m fine, Arthur. Just tired.”
“Yeah?” Arthur, arched a brow.
“Take it easy okay?” Arthur smiled thinly. Chloe nodded and gave his hand a slight squeeze hoping he didn’t notice her sweaty palms.
“What?” Chloe glanced over the back of the couch to spot Sage sitting on the counter with Bianca playing a game of chess.
“You’re not fine.” Sage repeated. “I know what anxiety looks like.”
“I don’t-I didn’t ask for your opinion.” Chloe glared.
“No, but sometimes it’s better when people tell you stuff.” Bianca shrugged, “and it’s okay to not be fine. I mean look who you’re talking to.”
“Your bishop’s dead.” Sage smirked, using her piece to bat Bianca’s off the board.
“Shh!” Sage slapped a hand over Bianca’s mouth. “Alex is gonna get mad. She said I couldn’t teach you curse words.”
“Right, well excuse me if I don’t take either of your counsels.” Chloe snorted, standing from the couch. “I’m not keen on talking to-“
“Former criminals?” Sage arched a brow.
“Assassins?” Bianca mused.
Chloe stood there watching both of them with complete confusion. “I don’t understand either of you.”
“That’s okay, I don’t understand her either.” Sage laughed, knocking over Bianca’s knight.
“I will murder you,” Bianca glared.
“What have you done to actually help me in this entire conversation?” Chloe huffed, crossing her arms.
“I don’t know?” Sage glanced over at the other girl. “Are you anxious?”
Chloe paused. Her hands had quit shaking, her palms were no longer sweaty, her chest felt relaxed, and she could breathe with ease. “Well, no.”
“Bingo.” Sage winked. Chloe stood there with her mouth open. “Wanna play? I bet you’re good. Maybe you can kick my ass.”
“Are you kidding me? Bianca said fuck but I get yelled at?” Sage laughed.
“Do not throw me under the bus!” Bianca hissed.
“You know what? I will play.” Chloe decided. “Move over.”
Bianca shifted to make room for Chloe on the counter. “You do know how to play don’t you?”
“Of course.” Chloe insisted.
“She’s not the one who calls rooks, castles,” Sage gave Bianca a pointed look.
“But they are!” Bianca huffed. Chloe simply sighed and shook her head. “Nathaniel!”
Chloe half expected the boy to ignore Bianca’s yell but he answered shortly after by entering the scene, “What?”
“What are these called?” Bianca held up a rook for the archer to see.
“Uhm, those are castles, then there are horsies, pointy guys, useless guys, and the queen and king.” Nathaniel explained gesturing to each piece.
“You leave before I shove this pointy thing up your nose. You are so wrong!” Sage glared as Bianca gloated. “It’s a castle!”
“I meant room! It’s a rook!”
“Hahaah!” Bianca laughed evilly.
“That’s literally just as bad.” Bianca snorted.
“I don’t understand this family,” Chloe sighed.
“Neither do I but I love it.” Nathaniel beamed, “They’re my baby weirdos.”
