i want to write but i'm scared
i don't want to get trapped
again
when did poetry become a trap?
when i started writing for everyone else
but me
i don't want to write to perform
those poems must be too long
and socially correct
or at least in some way related
to one of the many clichéd topics
oxymoron, no?
well i have another one for you
it's by allan wolf and quite popular too
he said the points are not the point, the point is poetry
so then why do points win and not poetry?
and if the poetry doesn't win
then what is it?
well i don't know
and i don't want to
but i just stopped to re-read what i've written so far
and i read it in my performer's voice
will i ever be able to purge it form me?
the way i thought i could purge the poetry
yet 6 months later
it's being regurgitated
but it doesn't feel much like being sick
it feels like cud i've been repeatedly digesting
ruminating
shifting
tossing up and down like an orange in my hand while i ponder
or a pen i stick in my mouth when i'm lost deeply in thought
it feels like i'm right where i left off what is left in me
but i don't want to perform anymore
i want to write the way mary oliver does
about wild geese and fresh mornings
until i and i alone
fall in love with my words
because it becomes a point when someone else does
and what i really want is for it to be poetry



















