my friend asked me what's my weirdest hear me out so I showed her this edit of Allan, LIL BRO MADE A WHOLE ESSAY ABOUT HOW HES NOT A HEAR ME OUT 🤠😭💀🥀
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my friend asked me what's my weirdest hear me out so I showed her this edit of Allan, LIL BRO MADE A WHOLE ESSAY ABOUT HOW HES NOT A HEAR ME OUT 🤠😭💀🥀
Hey Allan fans, I made a /reader fanfic
Check it out if it seems like something you’d like
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Allan x Reader Meetcute Oneshot Adventure
A/N: God gave me the power to write and weed so I’m making stuff.
Summary: A Allan Adventure redone scene so he can avoid that long-ass day. Really half of this is just the transcript from wiki but I had fun with it.
Warnings: Mentions of quitting smoking, Smiling Friends shenanigans
___________________
Allan had stepped into the local Office Crap in search of some paper clips. He speaks to an employee with six arms who was stocking shelves to quickly ask where he could find the paper clips.
Allan: Um, excuse me.
Armzo: [interrupting Allan] Wait, wait, wait, hold on man, I'm do- I'm in the middle of something here.
Allan walks up to Armzo while he continues to stack cans.
Allan: I just need some help.
Armzo: I'm warning you right now dude, keep screwing around and bad shit’s gonna happen, man.
Allan scowls at the rude attitude.
Allan: You don't need to be rude.
Armzo angrily puts his cans down and walks up to Allan. Tapping his foot impatiently.
Armzo: Ok, what's up man, what do you want, huh? What’s going on, what do you need, man? Don't get nervous now, man, what? Ask your-ask your question, go ahead, what?
The two talk over each other, while the armless manager in the background notices the argument.
Allan: Look, asshole, I'm just wondering if you have any-
Armzo: Asshole?!
Allan: Yeah-
Allan and Armzo: Asshole!
Allan: You-
Armzo: Did you call me an asshole?!
Allan: Yes, I did, because you're being an asshole! Why didn't you help me?
Armzo: Bro, you’re being an asshole! I'm in the middle of something right now!
Allan: Fuck you, don't you work here? I'm just a customer!
Armzo: You walk up to me and you literally just start bugging me with stupid questio-
Allan: I'm not "bugging you", I'm just asking- you- you spider, you ass-
Armzo: What do you need?! Wha-
The manager runs over.
Manager: ARMZO! Who told you to stop stacking with your six arms? He wiggles his arm stubs.
Armzo angrily continues stacking while scowling at Allan.
Allan: Sir, do you know where I can find some paperclips?
Manager: Paperclips? No, sorry. Unfortunately, we're sold out.
Allan: Sold out?
The manager nods.
Allan: Hmm, is there somewhere else where I can get them?
Manager: Hmm, the only place that might have them is that computer repair shop over in Crimeville.
Just then another critter appeared setting down a large box that was blocking them from view.
Y/N: W-wait, boss, what do you mean sold out? I just hauled in all these crates of paper clips.
Manager: O-oh ya did?
Y/N: Yeah for like the last 2 hours I've just been hauling these crates in. You told me to, remember?
Manager: Oh yeah. I thought that was Billy's job.
Y/N: Billy didn't show up today. Only Armzo and I did and since he has six arms and I don't he got stacking. He always gets stacking. We knew we were getting a big shipment today after that last guy bought the whole stock. Look at all these crates. That’s all metal in there. Look at how short I am. I could’ve used some help.
Manager: Uh huh. Look, y/n I really don't want to get into this right now. We have a customer.
Y/n looks to see Allan turn slightly revealing his presence. They mistook him for a load bearing pole painted red.
Y/N: Oh, didn't see you there, man. My apologies.
Allen: Um yeah. I just needed some paper clips.
Y/N: Oh yeah yeah isle 7. Just over here.
Manager: And Armzo, if you screw up again you're going BACK TO THE PSYCH WARD!!!!
Armzo starts quickly stacking cans in fear, the manager walks away before he turns back to a smiling Allan
Armzo: Thanks, man. Thanks for getting me in trouble, two armed piece of shit.
Allan: Sure thing. Hey goodbye spider. Goodbye. Keep stacking, keep stacking. Bye bye. Bye. Goodbye.
Armzo: [at the same time] Goodbye! Bye! Bye bye! Bye bye! Bye bye! I will, I will! Bye bye!
Armzo flips off Allan with three of his arms as he leaves to follow Y/N to the paper clip aisle.
Armzo: Get outta here man.
One of the cans fall on Armzo's head
Armzo: WOAH-
All of the cans fall on and bury Armzo.
Y/n began leading Allen to isle 7.
Y/N: Look, man I'm real sorry about my outburst back there.
Allan: Oh, it's cool.
Y/N: Like I've just had a really rough morning but I'm trying to not project that onto people. You don't need to know about all that. Anyway, here's the paper clips.
Allan: No, I don't. Thanks for the paper clips though
Y/N: Yeah man. I can ring you up when you're ready
They turned to go to the register.
“Hey” said Allen getting y/n's attention. Now walking to the register with them, paper clips secured.
Y/N: Yeah?
Allan: (he looks to read their nametag) Y/N, you were much more helpful than that other guy with the arms.
Y/N: Oh thanks, dude. Don't worry about Armzo, he's just been super irritable since the psych ward made him quit smoking. Called me a %$^#%$&@#&$^^$@^#^$@(!^&#%@@% yesterday so i put a dead fish in his locker. Anyway, that'll be $4.39, sir.
As Allan handed them the money their hands brushed a second longer than needed.
Y/N: And 61 cents is your change. Would you like your receipt?
Allan: Sure.
Their hands brushed again as Allan was handed his receipt and his change. Static shocking them both.
Y/N: Have a nice day, sir.
They waved off with a smile.
Allan: Yeah. You too. I guess I'll see you around.
Y/N: See ya around.
With that, Allen turned to leave with his paper clips. Upon closer inspection of the receipt, allen noticed y/n had written down their number.
______________________
Meanwhile in Crimeville, DJ Spit waited outside of the computer repair shop for Allen to walk out with the paper clips. After waiting a while he called up the landlord who hired him.
DJ Spit: (on the phone) Hey man, I don’t think this foo is coming, holmes.
Landlord: WHAAAT?? But he should’ve been there by Now!!!!?
DJ Spit: Uhhh yeah man, no I don’t see him nowhere around. It’s already been like a couple hours.
Landlord: OH Woah is me! Now who will I get who is cool enough to HANG out with me and smoke weed and fill out bellies with DIET soda and play Burnout Revenge for the PS2?!
DJ Spit: you got weed man? That’s cool I remeber playing PS2 with my primos after school.
Landlord: Hey Dj Spit, Would you like to HANG out with me and smoke weed and fill out bellies with DIET soda and play Burnout Revenge for the PS2?!
DJ Spit: Would I still get paid, man?
Landlord: Oh ABSOLUTELY!
DJ Spit: Oh fuck yeah man, I’ll be right over. My soundcloud about to pop the fuck off with this one. Hey ya want me to bring like beers or anything while I’m out.
Landlord: No it’s cool. I’ve got the DIET soda. I just have to make a quick call to cancel the other stuff. I might still be able to get my DEPOSIT back. I guess what I really needed wasn’t a smiling friend but a friend who would make me smile.
DJ Spit: Uh cool, so I’ll see you in like 15.
Landlord: HEHEHEHe cool. See you in 15, PAL!
End
We have our winner
Suspenders guy will be getting a part two. It may take a bit to complete though. I’ll try my best to get it done within a week or so
In regards to Allan requests.....can i request a little something for Reader!Doll (Ken or Barbie idc) x Allan meet-cute, or anything regarding love at first sight? Thanks!!!
✨Doll!Reader x Allan✨
💖 Every day in Barbieland is perfect but today is the most perfect of perfect days because today you arrive at Barbieland! You’re one of a kind, brand new, first of your name (and with the way you were selling off the shelves you won’t be the last!) and the Barbies knew immediately that they absolutely had to throw a super awesome blowout party with a bespoke song and completely original dance choreography.
💖 It was exciting! And… maybe a little overwhelming. Your line of Dream House (“Dream Living Apartment by Mattel”) had yet to leave the assembly line so Physicist Barbie was letting you have a sleepover at her place in the interim which was so sweet of her.
💖 The two of you were putting on the final touches of your outfits for the evening (with her complimenting your hair and you praising the flattering pantsuit she’d chosen for the night) before heading to President Barbie’s Dream House where the event would be hosted with you arriving as the guest of honor.
💖 “Ohmigosh! I am just so excited for your party tonight!” Physicist Barbie reached over to grab your hand excitedly, bouncing it a few times as you let out a laugh at just how happy she was. Everything really was perfect in Barbieland, wasn’t it? “It’s not my party, Barbie! It’s President Barbie’s party!” You amended with a bashful smile.
💖 “It’s a party for you though! Your first real night in Barbieland! Ah!!!” She cheered again, waving her hands about with a huge grin as her Dream Car turned itself down the street and began to slow to stop in front of the impressive bright pink building overhead. You could only smile and laugh, somewhat embarrassed by just how nice everyone is!
💖 Carpark Ken graciously escorted you from the vehicle as you followed Physicist Barbie up the regal stairs where a set of massive pink mansion doors opened up to a huge entryway- a wall of PinkSynthFunkBubblePop music hitting your ears in a way that would have been overwhelming if you were anywhere but Barbieland.
💖 The entire party was a blur; you were swarmed by Barbies- all asking you about yourself and what you do and how much you must already love it in Barbieland and Kens who wanted to show off with the cleverly choreographed dance breaks worked into the song.
💖 It would have been exhausting but you were in Barbieland! Barbieland wasn’t exhausting!…… right? You smiled and waved goodbye to another Barbie who’d come to welcome you (her Ken right on her heels- looking like she’d hung the plastic moon in the midnight blue backdrop of a sky). You couldn’t help but feel some weird twist in your chest and, had you been anywhere but Barbieland, you would’ve sighed.
💖 You obviously didn’t have a Ken- you weren’t a Barbie, after all (something you’d had to politely remind a few Kens when they referred to you as one) so why would you have a Ken? You took another pretend-sip of the imaginary sparkling cider when Doctor Barbie spun your way- her beautiful red hair billowing out behind her as she handed you a pair of roller skates.
💖 “Come on! You’ve gotta join in the next dance- we’re doing a Starlight Express inspired Jubilee-Groove Pop number in your honor!” She extended her hand to you and you took it without a second thought despite that same little twinging feeling you felt earlier. “Thanks, Barbie!” You called out, doing a little spin that (with the help of some Barbieland magic!) resulted in you coming to a smooth stop on your roller skates!
💖 “Wow, Barbie you look so rockin’ in those skates!” Came the cheerful caw of nearby Roadie Ken decked out in a glittery denim vest with slicked back hair. “Oh my GOSH, Ken! They’re not a Barbie!” Doctor Barbie scolded even as you waved his words away with a bashful smile. “Oh…! Well you look TOTALLY ROCKIN’, Ken!” He went in for a fist bump only for Doctor Barbie to roll her eyes and grab your hand, skating towards the dance stage. “They’re not a Ken either, duhh” Barbie groaned. Roadie Ken apologized profusely (clearly confused) but was cut off at the Jubilee-Groove Pop song started up, music loud and cheerful and just so Barbie.
💖 The choreography began and you moved through it automatically- like your body knew how to do each move without you putting an effort behind it. You smiled and moved along to the music- ignoring the Totally Nonexistent Part of you that felt like this wasn’t… your scene.
💖 You spun on your wheels in a beautiful pirouette before a Ken wheeled up, taking your hand in his and following in the choreography with a big grin. He opened his mouth to say something before you felt your body whirl in another direction without your consent. The choreography sending you from partner to partner- the Kens a blur of big white shiny smiles and the Barbies each a beautiful, capable individual but none of them were the right dance partner it seemed.
💖 Your body moved on its own, switching partners with elegant dance moves that timed perfectly with the rising music. Right as the pop music swelled you closed your eyes; letting your body move on its own. You felt your body grab a hand- a new partner, your eyes opened right as the music came to a head.
💖 He was… cute. With big doe eyes and deep red hair that framed a sweet face he was… different? He followed your movements just as easily as you slipped into each other’s orbit perfectly.
💖 “You aren’t a Ken!?” You blurted out, surprised even as you spun into into his arms on one roller skate. He laughed, pretty porcelain cheeks turning a shade of pink. “Oh! No, I’m Ken’s buddy, Allan. All his clothes fit me. Are you the new Barbie?” He asked, lifting you up as the two of you stood in the middle of the dance floor- the rest of the couples moving in a perfect circle around the two of you.
💖 “They’re not a Barbie~” came the singsong voice of a dancer spinning by.
💖 “O-Oh! I’m sorry I didn’t mean!” Allan started but you waved him off with an embarrassed grin, unable to tear your eyes away from his as the lights and music seemed to float and glitter around you. “Don’t worry about it” you said gently, surprised by how breathless you sounded despite not needing to breathe.
💖 The two of you seemed to be locked in this moment together- unable to tear your eyes apart as the two of you smiled bashfully. That weird feeling you had earlier- the one that said this wasn’t your scene, the one that felt like the music was loud- the one that wanted to sigh in Barbieland seemed to dissipate as the music finished.
💖 You introduced yourself politely, still smiling as you admired the way his eyes lit up at your name. “It’s very nice to meet you, Allan.” You said, knowing you probably looked silly with how big of a grin was on your face. But it couldn’t have been that silly because his smile mirrored yours and it looked so charming on him.
💖 “So would you like to-” Allan started only to get cut off as a new song came to life, dancers rushing the floor. “WhoAH!” Allan yelped as Model Ken whipped past him, sending the redhead tumbling forwards. Without thinking you reached out, catching him without hesitation and wrapping your arms around him with a surprised gasp.
💖 You stared deeply into his eyes from where you held onto him- blinking a few times at how close the two of you were. Something in your brain told you to press forwards- you don’t know why but you just needed to press your lips against his and-
💖 “Hey! Nobel Prize Winning Journalist Barbie invited you to the after party at her place! Let’s go!” The two of you jumped apart as Doctor Barbie approached you with a big smile, immediately grabbing your hand and wheeling you in a new direction. You were stunned, almost starstruck from the handsome doll you’d just been pulled away from.
💖 You hardly noticed Doctor’s Barbie’s words but nodded along, unable to stop yourself from glancing over your shoulder at Allan, who still stood looking just as spellbound as you felt. Your eyes met through the crowd and shared a shy smile, you lifted a hand to wave goodbye at him and he did the same.
💖 Something deep inside you stirred, making your face warm and your steps feel light. You think you were going to really really like living in Barbieland.
💖 (Somewhere in the RealWorld, a little girl sat in the backseat of a car with her brand new doll and the Allan her mother had managed to find on the back of the shelf of a Goodwill last Christmas; baffled that the discontinued toy had been for sale. “Honey? Honey- don’t smush their faces together like that, remember? You have to be careful! There’s only one Allan.”)
Yandere Allan Headcanons
Warnings: Obsessive Behaviour, Threats, Physical Violence, Just Allan in Love <3, Spoilers for Barbie Movie, No Pronouns Used For Reader Except ‘You’.
The fact that you’ve paid Allan any kind of attention is dangerous in and of itself.
But if you show even a morsel of romantic attention towards him
You’re done for, babs.
We’ve all seen how Allan fights – he will NOT let you go without a struggle.
But let’s start at the beginning. Perhaps you’re a friend of Gloria’s and you get embroiled in the quest to reclaim Barbieland.
Of course, you meet Allan. And, of course, you notice that there’s something…different about him.
Endearing.
For one, he’s the only one of himself – no journalist Allans or fashion model Allans or doctor Allans: just Allan. One of a kind.
You feel bad for him. You wonder if he feels isolated in Barbieland, existing in an echo chamber wherein none of the voices are his.
So, you take it upon yourself to be as kind to him as you can.
You always acknowledge him, always smile whenever he suggests something, always encourage his ideas even when the others would shoot them down.
“I think we should at least give Allan’s idea a try,” you’d say, putting a hand on Allan’s shoulder. To which everyone gives some sound of agreement.
Not that you’d know it, given that Allan doesn’t have muscle or bone, but he’s tense under your gaze, your touch.
One Of A Kind Love
Allan x F!Reader
Y/N was a discontinued doll. Of course being discontinued while living in Barbieland was a disaster. She was immediately moved to weird Barbie’s house and her dream house was left to gather dust.
Y/N resented Mattel for discounting her. She has made them such a big profit but they wanted to continuously put out toys that were less quality that would be cheaper for them to make and so they’d break and force consumers to buy more consistently.
Allan was lonely. He was the only Allan. There were different versions of kens and Barbie’s surrounding him in this perfectly pink world, yet he was the only Allan. He didn’t feel like he fit in with the Ken’s even after being a designated ‘Buddy’ for Ken.
He was left alone as Barbie’s had their girls nights.
He was left alone as Ken’s tried to show off to each other.
When Ken attempted to take over the world, Allan attempted to flee Barbieland. He didn’t want anything to change. He also couldn’t bring himself to treat the Barbies the disrespect that’s been forced upon them.
But they decided to turn around and get Stereotypical Barbie to help save them from patriarchy. Allan decided right then and there that he would never get out but he realized he didn’t want to leave Barbieland to fall. So he helped.
Allan led the two humans into weird Barbie’s house. They were met with Stereo Barbie sulking on the floor and Weird Barbie in the splits.
“It’s not the Ken’s!” Weird Barbie called out and it prompted the others to walk out of their hiding space.
Allan almost collapsed. He couldn’t stop staring at Y/N who looked nervous as she looked in their directional and Allan hoped she’d never stop.
Gloria was gushing over the Discontinued Barbies as she named them off, lastly getting to Y/N.
“This is Y/N! She was like everyone’s favorite Barbie, although she wasn’t formally named one, because she was just so durable. It made it so they could never be broken and it ended up being a lot of kids only Barbie.”
Y/N looked shy at the description as if she was some special Barbie but what kind of use is being durable. Meanwhile there was doctor barbie and even physicist Barbie.
Allan couldn’t disagree more. When Y/N smiled at him he felt like the most special person in the world.
Once Stereotypical Barbie was in on the plan they set it into action. All of the Barbie’s who they saved from a Ken would be the next one to save a Barbie. But that left Y/N and Allan in the car sometimes. The other discontinued’s stayed back at the weird dream house to make sure no Kens came to take it over, although it was highly unlikely.
“Hi Y/N.” Allan spoke with a smile adoring his face. The others were out of the van and he couldn’t help but say hi to his newly formed crush. That’s just what the dolls did.
“Hi Allan!” She spoke back excitedly with a smile on her face. Needless to say Y/N had bad self-esteem, which she only figured out because of Weird Barbie. Being discontinued affected each doll differently, but with there being nothing necessarily wrong with her body when she was discontinued like some of the others, it felt like more of a her issue.
“You know my name?” Allen was used to being overlooked. After all there was only him, surrounded by different Ken’s and Barbies.
“Of course!”
Before they could continue the doors flung open and another Barbie was brought into the reprogramming chamber so to speak.
Allan and Y/N couldn’t help but sneak glances back and forth. If a doll could blush Allan would be bright red.
After a little time skip and a battle of the ken’s later, the world was back to normal. Now the Ken’s we’re going to get a little more recognition and be acknowledged as more than accessories. Which was a win for them. After all they just truly wanted the horses and to feel appreciated.
But Allan and Y/N? It didn’t go back to their normal. Allan was now acknowledged by everyone, and he didn’t have to say anything first all the time. But, also he has someone he spent his time with.
Y/N used to only stay up in the Weird House to be with the others who were discontinued. That’s just how it was, and she admittedly felt nervous around the perfect Barbie’s who had roles in the world.
But even if a major lesson in life is to find who you are and not define yourself by your significant other.
There was no rule against finding yourself with each other.
HCs: Stereotypical Barbie, Beach Ken, & Allan reacting to their S/O dressing up as them for Halloween
Note: Made this a little bit "meta" (and by that I mean the characters are aware that their outfits exist as marketable costumes in the Real World).
........
Stereotypical Barbie
Among the many things she learned (and is still learning) about the Real World, it's that the "glorification of rampant consumerism" went beyond her toyline and made a LOT of sense during Halloween.
She never expected to see her western, jumpsuit, and gingham outfits stuffed into bags when you both visit a Spirit Halloween store (although it was neat seeing an entire section dedicated to Barbie).
And she was especially surprised to learn that "Barbie and Ken" were gonna be one of the most popular couples' costumes this year (it's a little awkward for her since she's not with Ken anymore, but she won't complain much).
Speaking of costumes, she never understood why so many of them had to be bloody and scary--or cute, bloody, and scary all rolled into one.
She'll quickly gloss over them and hurry back to the cute costumes, often tugging you along with her before you can protest.
Compared to Barbieland, Halloween is...definitely celebrated differently here.
She still doesn't get why humans would wanna buy fake severed limbs for decorations, nor why they created such scary lifelike robots.
But she does a total 180 when a girl dressed up in her western outfit passes her by on Halloween night, saying "Hi Barbie" with such a big smile on her face.
Suddenly, she likes this holiday a little bit better, especially after seeing other ladies posting their own Barbie-inspired Halloween costumes on social media.
It's the scariest season, and yet there's so much joy going around as she realizes women are still coming together and lifting each other up!
Her happiness only grows when she arrives at your doorstep with candy, and you surprise her by dressing up as a Barbie yourself!
When she realizes you chose one of her outfits specifically, she can't stop gushing over you.
It's touching, especially since she wasn't really a "remarkable" Barbie doll; you literally could have picked any other doll's outfit to inspire your costume...
And yet out of all of them, you wanted to be her.
It genuinely made her feel special and so so loved.
Beach Ken
Like Barbie, he had very different expectations of Halloween.
He learned men were usually the ones who "protected" their partners from the scary stuff. So he tries his best.
Yet he's always the one curling up in your lap and/or hiding his face whenever a mild jumpscare happens in a movie.
But he loves loves loves dressing up for the holiday and decorating (although at times he forgets and will accidentally scare himself if he bumps into the decor--ie hanging bats).
He insists on being a cowboy this year (toy horse stick included) and reaaaally hopes you'll match with him.
Instead, you have a better idea and surprise him by your costume:
It's him!
Or more specifically one of his outfits (beach, dance party, rollerblade, western, kenough hoodie, etc.) that you either picked up online or handcrafted yourself over the course of several months/weeks.
Regardless, he's gonna cry when he realizes that you chose to dress up as him, of all people.
For the longest time, Ken looked towards other people for inspiration, especially when he first learned about the patriarchy.
But to learn that he's YOUR inspiration???
He feels like the luckiest man/doll alive.
Hell, you wore his outfit better than him somehow.
When you both are walking up and down the street, he's delighted seeing other people dressed in his western or rollerblade outfits (never mind them being so cheaply-made and mass produced), glad that the Real World's starting to appreciate Ken again.
But compared to you?
You were a ten.
Allan
He was sorta adamant towards Halloween, at first.
If anything, he worries for your sanity (and perhaps humanity's sanity as a whole) after you showed him some classic horror movies.
Poor guy is just baffled as to why anybody would like seeing that kind of stuff...and how it doesn't keep them wide awake at night.
But once you tell Allan about all the other customs and traditions, he partakes in them--although anything involving blood is a no-go for him.
On Halloween night, you both agree to just kick back and hand out candy to trick-or-treaters.
His "costume" is the outfit he usually had on in Barbieland, but he's worried that it pales in comparison to whatever you're planning to wear.
All you said over text was that it's a "big surprise", so he's anxious to see it.
He's well aware of Barbie and Ken having their own costumes, and he tries not to sulk about there being no Allan costumes in this world.
Yet when he opens the door, he nearly drops the candy bowl upon seeing you wearing a similarly striped shirt, shorts, and sandals.
You decided to dress up as him!! As an Allan doll!!
Now he finally realizes why you've spent hours couped up in your room.
There's a good chance he's gonna get all weepy over this (and frantically claim that it's allergies when a few concerned trick-or-treaters come up to the door a minute later).
But now he takes back whatever he said about nobody in the Real World caring about Allan.
Because you cared.