#allisonshepard

[shepardofparagons]

allisonshepard

"Oh God... It's you!"

[xnemxsis]

   Her disinterest in everything as she strolls along the Presidium can be felt for miles, a kind of defense mechanism she uses in order to keep people at arm's length. Mya feels a yawn creeping up on her, but she fights it. Leaning against railing a ways off from Apollo's, the blonde senses she's being watched, or worse, about to be approached. Giving in to the instinct, she slowly turns, cold blue eyes falling on, none other than, Commander Shepard. 

                      "Well, this certainly is a surprise," she muses, her apathetic attitude seeping into her tone laced with the laziest accent she could muster. "What can I do for you, Commander?"

[gunnymxreau-blog]

#JOKER'S GONNA KILL YOU

story of my life

[spectre-kryik]

Hannah: I WOULD LOVE TO CUDDLE WITH YOU IM

Hannah: SHE'S JUST LIKE

Hannah: S H I T WHA T H AVE I DO N E

Nihlus Kryik: didn't actually plan for this to work fuc

Nihlus Kryik: k

Nihlus Kryik: um

Hannah: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

Hannah: "shit shit shit i just wanted an excuse to maybe grope alenko's ass what am i supposed to do now"

Hannah: "can you grope a turian's ass? do turians even have asses? what the fUCK"

Nihlus Kryik: DO TURIANS HAVE ASSES

[notasuitrat]

allisonshepard replied to your post: allisonshepard asked:Allison had ...

Allison didn’t need any more information; she was promptly doubled over as well. It was guaranteed that call wouldn’t have ended well. “Oh my god,” she gasped, trying to gain control over herself. More laughter. “Please tell me you have a link.”

Tali had already beat her to it, one hand frantically searching her omni-tool to see if she could scavenge her extranet history for a recording. "I c-c-can't promise anything, Shepard, but I'll try." A splutter, followed by a giggle and Tali was struggling to keep a straight face as she added, "It was an educational radio program for children, Shepard." Her voice quivered with laughter. "For children."

[notasuitrat]

Allison had started off with the intention of soothing Tali's sudden laugh attack. Unfortunately, what she had not counted on was just how contagious that laughter was--she found herself trying (and failing) to contain her own giggles. /Damn it./ When the giggles had escalated into full-blown peals, she finally managed a broken "So... What are we... Laughing at... Anyway?" [ hi I miss you and I adore you ]

"I—W-we—sssshhh-sshhhooo—" She was doubled over the console, clutching at the edges for support as her body shook with laughter so hard that it became inaudible.

"I c-can’t breathe!" she managed to whisper hoarsely amid fits of continuous giggling that sounded shrill and broken-up over the trill of her respirators. Finally after she had enough breath to form full sentences, she managed to squeak out: "I was listening to an extranet radio program and they were talking about Protheans and a listener called in and it was J-J-Jaaviii—" She dissolved into helpless laughter all over again.

[deludedjackass]

[text]: Time for someone to go grocery shopping.

send my muse one of the following to see how they react:

[TXT]: Time for me to come clean out your kitchen instead.

[deludedjackass]

[Text]: LUCK. I MEANT LUCK. LUCK AUTOCORRECT.

Text my muse one of the following…

[TEXT]: …Didn’t know you were so goddamn frisky, Shepard.

[TEXT]: You just keep fucking telling yourself it was autocorrect.  

[TEXT] Y’know, “luck” doesn’t quite make sense in that context…