walk it off.

Zaeed Massani. Mercenary & Veteran. Not your goddamn babysitter. [Independent roleplay blog for Zaeed Massani from Mass Effect. Multi-verse, multi-ship, and open to original characters and different fandoms. Faceclaim is Ninja.]

[deludedjackass]

     “---whoops, spilled a little on your floor.”

[deludedjackass]

justgivemeabloodydrink:

“Obviously you, you overdone cumpkin.”

“You mind telling me what the fuck I ever did to you? Goddamn assbang if you ask me....”

[justgivemeabloodydrink]

@deludedjackass

“Ass.”

[deludedjackass]

“Who the hell are you calling an ass, you goddamn fucktoast?”

[tavianalvia]

“I’m alive and shit so yeah, I’m doing pretty good.”  He snickered, looked the man up and down.  “You look surprisingly in one piece considerin’ what you do.”

[deludedjackass]

    “--Tch!”  Zaeed scoffed, his lips slightly parted and his eyebrows raised, as if he was somehow surprised, “S’like everyone’s got bets when I’m gonna die or somethin’.  Sorry to burst your bubble, sweetheart, but it ain’t happenin’ anytime soon.”  He gave a lazy nudge at his companion’s arm. “Thanks for the compliment, though.”

[turianrebel-a]

❛     wait a second — nobody told me there was a party !! is there alcohol involved? massani, i did miss you. we’re the scarred merc pair. the precaution planners at shepard’s apartment. don’t LOSE MY INVITE.     ❜

[deludedjackass]

       “--Damn, Vakarian, really don’t know if I can squeeze your scrawny arse back in on my guest list anymore.  So many people RSVPing...”  Zaeed pulled up his omni-tool, scrolling through his near-empty inbox in faux-distress.  “Guess I can un-invite someone if you help me rig up my new beach house with some explosives.”

[tavianalvia]

“Tellin’ me I’m pretty’ll get you far, keep doin’ that.”

[deludedjackass]

“--y’know I’ve never had a problem tellin’ your kind you look nice.”  The merc cracks a slight grin, followed by a wink.  “Nice to see ya again, gorgeous.  You been alright?”

[turianrebel-a]

❛     sorry to break your heart, massani. no love loss here.     ❜

[deludedjackass]

“--and to think, you were the one I had the most confidence in.  Tch.  So much for your goddamn invitation to my party.”

[deludedjackass]

   “A’int you as pretty as ever?  Did ya miss me?”

[deludedjackass]

“--damn technology.”

[starfleetspectre]

younger zaeed

even younger than the one i normally draw

still wet behind the ears no tattoos zaeed

taking up the shitty merc jobs

[journalofanobody]

I’ve been to Hell. You’ve only read about it.

Marquis de Sade (via journalofanobody)

[deludedjackass]

"Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive."

                                             Independent Zaeed Massani roleplayer.

                                                              Mass Effect.  

                                             deludedjackass.

[commanderlillianroseshepard-blog]

She smirks as she flashes her credit chit “You know it Zaeed.  Aww thanks Zaeed. I knew you thought I was cute!” She giggles a bit the drinks already taking affect on the poor bitotic. “ So how have you been?”

[deludedjackass]

    “Tch, you are so goddamn sweet sometimes, Shepard,” he teased, plopping down next to the Commander as he waved the bartender over to take his order.  After getting a strong bourbon and coke, Zaeed took a sip and lit up a cigar.  

    “Been good, just takin’ some time to tie up some loose ends, gettin’ ready to buy a place down by the beach after all this shit’s done,” he admitted rather quickly, “But who knows if I’ll even be able to fuckin’ do it. Can never seem to get around to laying low enough...”   Zaeed took another sip of his drink and raised one brow at Lilian, “You doin’ okay?  Don’t need anything do ya?”  

    Ah, yeah, he couldn’t help but offer, but to try to cover his tracks in seeming too willing, he added, “I got some connections for ya that you could probably use.  Bunch of freelancers that I got scared shitless of me.”

[pushingbuttons-deactivated20160]

Joker’s lie shattered under the weight of his pride.

[deludedjackass]

“What? That was fucking hysterical and you know it!”

    “Listen here, kid, you gotta few things to learn about making practical jokes,” Zaeed replied, leaning back against the wall.  “You haven’t been around long enough to know what is goddamn hilarious and what isn’t.”  

    He then spoke low enough just for Joker to hear, “Should consider taking lessons from a pro sometime.”

[deludedjackass]

jacksubjectzero​:

“That’s your first assumption? Is that I need something?” she asked with her bestest incredulous voice. It was really good. For her, that was. …which meant it was best saved for amateur theater class. “I’m hurt. Truly. Deep down here.” Her middle and index finger tapped some area below her rib cage. Where… maybe the hurt would have been. “What if maybe - just maybe- I caught a whiff of your old ass and thought, ‘There’s a fuckhead I haven’t seen in some time. Boy, he loved to rattle of stories about that piece of shit trophy he carries around. For hours. And hours.’“

She paused. And knitted her brows together.

“I see your point. …anyway, I thought you went off somewhere to die. Tropical… or some shit. You know, after you retired. Again. …third or fourth time?”

    “Well, I mean why the hell else would you be bothering me?” Zaeed replied, raising one eyebrow and cocking his head to the side in curiosity.  Though he wouldn’t admit it, Zaeed actually enjoyed chatting with those that he’d met aboard the Normandy.  After having lived years and years fending for himself and constantly watching his back, it was nice to have a place to sit back and breathe.  And well, breathing meant making some friends along the way.

    A low scoff fell from Zaeed’s lips, his mismatched eyes glancing at the smart-ass move Jack had made with her middle finger.  He shamelessly raised his right hand and raised his own middle finger in response, a satisfied smirk forming across his expression.

    “Y’know, Jack, you can’t say shit about my stories, cause I know you like to talk people’s fuckin’ heads off too,” he said, laughing softly, folding his arms over his chest.  “...Tch, yeah, retirement...seems like I can never get away from the danger, follows me everywhere, but I got a beach-side place down in Australia now, back on Earth.”  

    He paused, raising both brows, and spoke casually, “..looks like you could use some sun, Jack.  Wouldn’t be against you comin’ to visit.  I make a damn good grilled burger.”

[zef-kat]

[justgivemeabloodydrink]

Holy shit it’s been a while since I set one of these up. Look for justgivemeabloodydrink’s game. And if it asks for a password, the password is: bloody git