In a really bad head space today. I know what I wanna do, what I wanna accomplish, and where I want to be. But I keep setting unrealistic goals for myself and when I get to that point and realize it I just give up. And that makes me worried about my future. Is it possible to get out of where I am and be where i wanna be and be happy living my life? This is why I think I should be alone sometimes cause I constantly have this fight with myself when the solution is within me. And no one wants to deal with someone like me, cause they end up leaving. And I keep telling myself just shut up and do it. Just fuckin do it. Cause everything ends up different than how you imagine they will. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. I wanna be with her, have a future with her, get married and all that shit. But I feel like I could never be enough for her. She's accomplished so much and has so much support behind her, just feel like I'm gonna hold her back. But idk. By the end of the summer things could be very different than they are now. Things could change. I just pray I keep faith in myself, us and this to finally get done what I need done, then go from there..