#alonelyteabag

[weight13ss]

junior year is officially now over. it's been my best and worst, but i wouldn't trade it for the world because it has no doubt been my favorite in my seventeen years on this earth. there's been such extreme downs, but at the same time so many extreme ups. and in retrospect, i love every single moment of it. even if it was utterly horrible, it just showed how the people i've met make everything so much better. so thank you thank you thank you, because it makes me so honored to have the privilege of meeting you. 

and i really just need to thank everyone who has supported me this year. i would have never made it to this internship without any of you. this internship really means so much to me because for the first time ever, i feel like i have a chance at a great future. i need to thank everyone for my success from this year, if that's not too narcissistic of me, because i really don't think i'd be here if i didn't have their love and comfort. having these friends means so much to me because this year i actually felt like i was worth something, like i actually had potential. to me, my friends are responsible for my future. yeah, it's still all me, but they help me be the best me that i can, and i just feel like my friends need to be appreciated so much in the world. maybe it's bias, but they're the best friends ever, and i wouldn't change a single day. 

edward and jacob, thank you for being the first people for me to meet at james lick. that summer you introduced me to so much and so many people, and i am eternally grateful for that. even in the fall y'all stayed by me and introduced me to even more people, and you have no clue how much it all means to me. when i first transferred to james lick i kind of felt so lost, but at the same time, i felt like i've never belonged anywhere more because i had y'all as my best friends. i still can't believe i've known y'all for almost a year now because it literally feels like two days at the same time that it feels like two decades. thank you for all the amazing times and thank you for putting up with me. sometimes i feel like no one knows me better than you two just because you guys got me talking so easily, more than anyone else i've ever met. thank you for being my best friends, thank you for memories, thank you for being you, thank you thank you thank you. 

sarah, i'm so sorry that i get so wrapped up on my own dramas that free time is always sleeping. it's not normal, and you have no idea how much i want to be spending that time with you. i love you so much, and i'm sorry if it ever feels otherwise. whenever i was upset this year, talking to you made everything better, and the days that i did get to spent with you were definitely highlights of my year. i always love every moment that you're home and every moment that i get to spend with you even more. i can't wait for you to come home, because i can't wait for you to be close by me. i miss you so so so much and i wish you were home forever, well, no. i just wish you were with me forever. you're my best friend in the whole entire world and i wouldn't trade you for anything because it's always midnight if i didn't have you. love love love, darling, forever is enough.

hannah, thank you for being around. thank you for being my cupertino best friend, thank you for being my country music loving best friend, thank you for being everything good that she was and everything so much more. thank you for always being a text away and thank you for out truck bed late nights and prom and bonfires and marina, and thank you for making me so happy. you're so wonderful, and you're definitely the person i miss the most since last year. you have so much brightness in you, and more people need to see that, and i really hope that everything with you and him work out well and i hope that you're happy, because anyone who makes me that happy for a small moment deserves all the happiness in the world. you're so amazing, hannah, don't let anything get you down because that just means it's not worth your time. i love you so much, and you're so wonderful. i can't wait for this summer and we'll have so many adventures and things are going to be so amazing, you'll never believe it

aaron, thank you for making me so so so happy.  thank you for prom and all the times we've sat around talking and thank you for all the times we were messing around and just thank you. i'm still kind of a horrible girlfriend, but thank you for still staying past that. i'm going to miss you so much this summer. i miss you so much right now. thank you for putting up with me and all my emotions, especially when my parents make me so frustrated, and thank you for putting up with me whenever i'm complaining about someone. thank you for always lifting my bad moods and making me feel so much better. thank you for your smiles and your laughs and all the moments i get caught up in thinking how wonderful you are. thank you for so much of the past few months, and thank you for so much of the future

i love y'all so so so much. the people i've met this year are the best that i could never fathom. sometimes it's like i'm living in one of those books where you fall in love with every character and it seems just too perfect to be real. even if i didn't mention you, i love you with all my heart. i love my table, i love everyone that i talk to regularly every day. i loved this year as i continue to love it. thank you thank you thank you, a million times thank you and infinite thanks, and it still feels like i owe all of you the world

you know, we're all made from stardust, but i wouldn't trade a single one of any of y'all for all the stars. 

[weight13ss]

happy 17th birthday to me

looking back, this year has no doubt been the craziest of my life as far as  ups and downs go, but i'm so grateful to have it all end on the best note ever. 

i've lost some friends along the way, but really, i've only lost a few compared to the past. i'm so grateful to still have philip and derek and thai vinh and eric and vivian and hannah banana because they're the best ever, and despite me changing schools and all, i still have them to count on. i'm really bad at keeping up with people once we're far apart, and i'm so grateful to have them in my life.

and i'm so grateful to have sarah and hayden, because no amount of distance to take away their lovely beings from me and they're the most wonderful ever. 

and i'm so glad to have met all the lovely lovely lovely people at james lick this year, because they have made the grandest difference in my life. i'm enjoying school for the first time in such a long time just because it gives me the promise of seeing them every day. i'm still so flabbergasted that i've lived so close to them my whole lives, yet haven't had the privileges of their acquaintances and all the intrinsics of how san jose really is until now. they've made me realize so much that i was so detached from, and it just makes me realize how out of touch i was with the locality, even in cupertino i now realize there was a whole system of inner workings that i always seemed to oversee. even though the friends that i've met through school haven't been to many places, they all know so much more about the world than anyone i've ever met, they know more than the people that have traveled across the world seven times. it's just so amazing to be accepted into this world that i've been so close to yet never realized even existed before. all my success is thanks to them because they're the most amazing group of friends i could ever ask for. 

and lastly, i'm so grateful to have sarah this year. with all my lows, she's always been here for me, and she always will be. last summer i was so happy to get to spend every day with her tutoring and at home. being with her gives me the most infinitesimal of feelings and nothing can ever stop her from being the most important person in my life, ever. no amount of taylor swift cards or thousands of friends can ever amount to the value of sarah to me, because she's just that significant to be my sister by close proximity and to be my best friend from sisterhood. 

since i've turned sixteen, so much has changed. i've gone to music concerts, been places like stagecoach, places i never before imagined myself. i've had a horrible break up with a best friend, and i had summer. i had gear up where i met who are now by closest friends, and i had happiness. i had spontaneous days and crazy nights and i had realizations and i had the insane change of changing schools. then i had fall when everything was the worst it's ever been in my life, when i couldn't rationalize a single thing. and then winter and spring came and things have been so lovely that i actually feel like it might stay this way for a very long time. my grades have been the best they ever had. i'm enjoying badminton for the first time ever (me + exercise, weird right. but too bad i'm still lazy), and just today i got my SAT results and i was aiming for 2000, so of course i got 2000 exactly. it makes me so elated just to know that my hard work has paid off and maybe even by fall i can get 2200. i've been so happy lately with the way that i actually feel like i'm significant in the community and that there are people who adore me just as much as i adore them. i'm so happy that i feel loved and accepted and that i am actually missed when i'm not around. it just makes me so happy to know that i have actual worth and value now rather than 'just another one'. it's nice to know that i'll leave a significant lingering impression once i leave and not a scar. it's nice to know that i've changed someone's life, even if it's just to get them to say y'all.

this year of being sixteen, i've taken on up bad habits (especially recently), but i've taken up some really good ones, too. and just common realizations about myself and the world around me has made everything so much simpler. i've taken up so many new roles of responsibility and it's overwhelming at times, but it's enjoyable. mostly, i'm just grateful for the way i've kept up my relationships with all the new people i've met and all the old that i've been distanced from, physically, but still are as close as ever. 

so basically, thank you thank you for everyone who has made the most wonderful difference in my life, because this is the best i've ever been thanks to each and every one of you. it would be a privilege to have my heart broken by y'all.

[misconveyed]

3-12 :]

3) Have you ever been dumped?: Once.

4) What do you like most about making out?: Idk. It's fun. You don't have to talk to the person. Ahaha.

5) Have you ever casually made out with someone that you weren't casually involved with?: Yup.

6) When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?: Usually the other person.

7) What part of a person's body do you find most attractive?: I love it when guys have nice jawlines.

8) Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?: Idk, a message on Tumblr probably though.

9) Had sex with someone you knew for less than an hour?: Nah, only made out.

10) Had sex with someones whose name you didn't know?: Nope haha, only made out.

11) What makes your heart flutter, etc.?: Idk. I like when people whisk me into hugs.

12) Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?: Omfg definitely not, sorry, but no no no.xox 

[weight13ss]

you turn me into somebody loved

thank y'all so so so very much for the past year. i'm sure most of you already know how much you mean to me, but for the first time, or the billionth, i'm saying it again. you mean the world to me, and thank you thank you thank you a million times. 

first off, ava

thank you so much for everything. i know we don't always get a long the best, but with our breakups, there's always the getting back together. thank you for coming back after that horrible time in may, and thank you for that amazing trip to china, thank you for putting up with me, for putting me back together, for being there to just listen, for being the amazing person you are. you're really my sister and i still can't believe it's only been a little over two years, because sometimes i feel like i've known you so much longer. you're amazing and wonderful and brilliant, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. 

sarah, 

i just can't even fathom how much you cause the stars to come out at night. thank you for making me see the brighter side of things, for noticing the little things that change the big picture into something that matters, for being that first sip of tea that you can feel disperse through you body that seems to calm down all the stress in your heart. i honestly would not be here today without you. sometimes it's like you're the only one who notices to ask what's wrong, and i really need to be a better friend to you, because i really don't deserve you, and i'm sorry for being the crappy friend that i am. you deserve to be happy, s, you deserve flowers to look up smiling at you, for all the city lights to align into one glorious spectrum of colors, for the ocean to rise with each inhale and fall with each exhale. you deserve so much more, and you can be happy, i really do. you can be lovely and exuberant and happy, just put your mind to it. don't let anything sad hold you down, because they're just rocks that someone carries around and weighs them down until they decide to let go. you deserve the best, s. you deserve happy

quincy

i miss you so much. it's just unreal thinking how far you are, how much of a different world you live in, but somehow, at the same time, you're right here. you're here at the touch of a finger. anyways, thank you for our childhood, for our almost fort, for our days catching butterflies, for all of it. i always knew at some point you'd have to grow up, but then, it just felt like it would last forever. now, we're still not quite grown up, but pretty close. i didn't think things would change so much without you, it's like when you were home things were so normal, and now it's just haywire. thank you for being so you, so someone that no one can ever replace, someone that no one can ever replicate. thank you for making home home, for making everything so much more wonderfully interesting, for doing things that i thought no one would ever dare to do. and i know we weren't always that super close, but i hope you know that happy is so close to you. but quincy, thank you for childhood, for normality, for individuality. 

ms. stacey cler,

you are legitimately the sweetest, most kind hearted, ebullient person that i have ever met. it was an honor to be in you class, and i've never learned so much in such a short amount of time. you're really changed my life for the better. thank you so much for seeing the potential in me, especially when it seemed like no one else did. thank you so much for all your words, your advice, your words of wisdom. sometimes it's like no one cares enough to intervene like you do, and it's so refreshing to hear exactly what i need to change. it's refreshing to have someone agree with me, instead of constantly telling me i'm wrong. thank you so much for putting my faith back in humanity, even though all world literature ends in death, but thank you for helping me choose the brighter side of life. thank you for motivating me to write, even though i really need to more. thank you for believing in my writing like no one ever has before. you've honestly changed my life like no one ever has before. thank you thank you thank you

edward, 

thank you for that very first day of summer school when you said hello. that hello led to so many different future that i would have never even dreamed of the day before. it got me to change schools, change my world, and just change so many things. thank you for getting me to open up, to not be so afraid of the world. thank you for getting me to 'participate' because believe me, it's not much but still a lot more than before. thanks for our conversations, for our memories, for changing my future. 

philip, 

you're just the most wonderfully bubbly person i could ever meet, so thank you. whenever i get to see you, it makes me so happy by contact. it's like your happiness just overflows to everyone around. thank you for always making me feel better. i'm honestly so much better when i'm near you because it's just impossible not to. thank you for putting up with me for so long and putting up with all my emotions and bipolarness and antisocialness and thank you thank you thank you. and i probably don't mean as much to you and you do to me, but i hope you know that you've made the grandest difference in my life and i know i barely get to see you, but thank you for being just a phone call away

octavio,

thanks for being there for me all the time. i don't know how we even became friends, or what happened at all really, but thanks for the past three months. you were honestly one of the last people i thought i'd ever be friends with, but i'm glad that we are. i'm so thankful for having your company all the time, and i know we both get annoyed by each other, (but most we're just both annoyed by me) but thank you for still sticking through all of it. i really do enjoy all our starbucks runs and walking to class and talking about taylor swift and whatnot. thank you for all these little things that all seem to add up to make my day better than it would have otherwise. so yeah, thank you for all that, because it really does mean so much to me

jing & wayne, 

thank you so much for giving me a second home. whenever i'm with you guys, it's like a safe haven where i'm always welcome. it's like whenever i'm at your house, i get that feeling of sleep in your own bed after travelling for weeks at a time. thank you for that. thank you for being my second parents and treating me like your second daughter. thank you for inviting me to everything, for taking the time to make me part of your life. it's an honor to be so close to people as amazing as you guys with such wonderfully amazing quirks and stories. if i never met you guys, high school would have been so much exponentially worse than it was, and thank you for making it so much better than i had originally expected. thank you for being my second family, lovelovelove

hayden & sarah, 

thank you so much for those two weeks. you have no idea how much i think about it on a daily basis, and how much i just wish i could go back. you guys made me feel so welcome so fast, and you're too amazing for words. thank you for being instant best friends, for making the coral princess to feel like home when home was two thousand miles away. thank you for the stories, for what was probably fourteen hour days together, for allahmahoo

lastly, mes padres,

you give up so much for me, and i now i don't always show it, but i really do notice. thank you for all the little things, for all the big things, and everything in between. i'm sorry i'm not always the best child, but you're always the best parents. thank you for supporting me, and always having the best in mind for me in all your decisions. you've given up your own worlds for mine, and a million times thank you. 

thank y'all for everything you've given to me, thank you for all our conversations, thank you for all our stories, thank you thank you thank you, and may these memories break our fall.

[louehlover-blog]

1,7, 35

1. Think of the last person who said i love you, do you think they meant it? Yes, I really think yes. That person it's not the kind of person who says I love you without really feeling it

7. What exactly are you wearing right now? My pajama, it's a black shirt with a cat and pink trousers

35. Did you have a dream last night? Yes, I dreamed with my recent crush

Blog rate: 9.5 (I like your blog, it reminds me of autumn I don't know why)

sorry for taking so long to answer but my niece is sick and I was taking care of her

send me some of these and I'll rate your blog

[deceptiprincess]

hi i kind of love being in the mind of jocelyn and her daily obsessions. i need some jocjoc in my life NOW.

My mind is a great place I know...

[vintagewool-blog]

do you know the breed/ whiteface or blackface/ hairsheep or meatsheep? post a picture?

we have white faced ones and black faced ones..

[vintagewool-blog]

what kind of sheep are they

they're just sheep...