wait i neeeed to talk to another lesbian abt shane hollander and his sleep paralysis demon friendship with hayden. bc omfg. imagine being deeply closeted and dealing with deep seated comphet and internalised homophobia and here comes your best friend mr heternormativity 3000. married at like 20 with 2.5 kids and a house with a white picket fence. and it all comes so easily to him. it feels natural. do you think shane ever resented him for that a little bit deep down pre gay admission at rose dinner. like why does it all come so easily to hayden. why can't he have it that easy. why can't he feel content and settle down with a nice girl and be normal. and on top of all of that hayden keeps trying to set him up with jackie's friends like literally dangling it in front of him like he has so many opportunities. it's not that there's no nice girls out there. he's the problem. something is wrong with him. the dichotomy of the heteronormative vision for life that he longs for because it feels safe and easy and normal and like what he should do while at the same time being a nightmare scenario because it's not something he actually wants or can want. every day he struggles with himself as he smiles and pretends he's fine and normal while the literal personification of heternormativity is constantly next to him.
