I just- I am going to have to get a job and live my life with so little financial security and worry about providing for myself and my family and I hate that. It seems like so much unnecessary sadness and struggle, it seems logical that a goal of a society should be to alleviate that. Job requirements are scary, student debt is scary, unemployment is terrifying and common. For security, I would give up a lot of material comfort and wealth, I only feel like I need that because it's an advantage, security would eliminate that need. I don't need to be aesthetic (diet, gym, colthing, make up), hyper-interesting/intelligent/tasteful (Nice car, nice house, science magazines in areas I don't care about, nice art supplies) like if I didn't have the pressure of trying to compete, so much expense would be unnecessary. I'd have more time to focus on being actually interesting, on making things I care about out of whatever I can find, on being useful to society and a good ass friend and partner and on loving people and figuring shit out. I JUST. I am financially secure as hell compared to most of America and i would give it the fuck up for a house i own, time for the people i love, healthcare, and a feeling of goddamn security/ equality to the people around me. I don't want to worry this much. It's utopian and unrealistic but like I want that so badly.