#also ngl

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

Genuinely one of the funniest things I've seen in my life.

[borderlinereminders]

This might be a bit of a harsh sounding post, and I don't mean it to be. But I want to talk about having a Favourite Person, and how to try and change that into something healthier because while it's not automatically unhealthy, it often can be.

Having a Favorite Person (FP) when you live with BPD can feel intoxicating. They're the sun. Their attention makes everything okay. Their distance feels like the worst thing ever. Not hearing from them can ruin your entire day.

It’s not just “having a bestie” or a crush it’s often deeper, messier, louder. It can often lead to emotional dependency in disguise and that can feel amazing, until it doesn't anymore.

Here’s what a FP dynamic can look like (I'm not saying this is always the case):

Feeling euphoric when they text back, and worthless when they don’t.

Needing constant reassurance or fearing they’ll leave if you mess up.

Basing your mood, worth, and stability entirely on how they’re acting that day.

Panic when they bond with someone else, even just a little.

Obsessive checking, over-texting, testing them, or pulling away first out of fear.

Changing yourself to fit what you think they want

So how do you shift it into something healthier?

Call it what it is You don’t need to shame yourself for having an FP. Just call it what it is. Sometimes this means admitting that “I’ve built too much of my emotional world around this person, and that’s scary for both of us.”

Branch out to have a bigger support system One person can’t hold all your pain, joy, panic, and need. Start slowly expanding: journaling, talking to multiple friends, engaging in hobbies that don’t center around them.

Ask yourself: Is this about closeness or control? Is the constant contact about love, or about managing anxiety? Be honest. This isn't meant to shame you, just bring some awareness.

Practice self-soothing and asking for reassurance in healthy ways before lashing out Before you text “Are you mad at me?”, pause. Breathe. Regulate. Then decide if you still want to reach out just not from a place of panic. Here's my post about needing reassurance and my post about self-soothing.

Have boundaries, and this means both of you having them, not just them You deserve safety and so do they. Boundaries don't mean that people don't love you, though I understand the kneejerk feeling to that. Boundaries are a way to cultivate healthy relationships and when I set boundaries with people in my life, it's because I still want them in my life.

It’s okay to want deep connection. It doesn't mean you're bad or undeserving of love. You’re just someone learning how to love without losing yourself in the process, because often that is what can happen with a FP.

Having a FP itself isn't inherently bad, it's just important to be mindful and aware of how having a FP is affecting us and them.

[asmodeauxx]

I needed to get a sketch of her out, it’s late at night but I SWEARRRR I’m gonna get better drawings out of her

[khaoala]

viewciize 😺😺

[mig-murgthenurg]

Posts of Space Marines killing the Na'Vi does the exact opposite of make me think they're cool, it just makes me think they're lame and weak.

If you can't show me your favourite toy soldier winning against anything else from it's own setting but an opponent that's just Native Americans painted blue then I'm convinced that toy soldier would die to a Grot sneezing.

[xenineshroom]

I've seen people who are otherwise ideologically opposed to me- speaking out against the revisionism happening with theyfab. I'll even take folks who are like, "well it's not a slur- but it's just plain dishonest to act like it has anything to do with critiquing transmisogyny." Like 4chan cis men invented it, it's a slur still drenched in its original transphobic misogynist context- but whatever! These folks have a better platform to stand against this shit than I do because they share community with the people defending it. I don't care who does the convincing or how.

[humblemooncat]

Okay, yeah, Dragoon is THE Heavensward experience tbh. Haven't felt this compelled by a class choice since taking DRK through Shadowbringers.

[reading-writing-dying]

Will never not love Gem being so cutesy but unhinged when murdering all of her friends, its iconic really