#alsofuckyou

[parably]

You’re never gonna see this, but that’s okay because you couldn’t handle it if you did.

Just so we’re clear, you may think you’re the poo and your shit doesn’t stink, but I see you. And if you think for one second I don’t see you for who you are - you’ve got the wrong one ma’am.

I see the way you talk to my dad. I see the way you push him to do things he shouldn’t be doing at his age. I see the way you trick him into thinking you’re doing him favors. I see the way you throw fits until you get your way. I see the way you convince yourself the world is against you and you pick a battle with everyone and everything who fucks with you. I see the way everything revolves around you. What you say goes. You’re in charge. You’re in control. And in case you didn’t know, which you probably don’t, it’s fucking gross. I wanted to like you but I can’t stand you. I wanted him to actually be happy because it’s been years since he has been. But you won’t give that to him. You won’t allow it. You’re always right. He’s always wrong. It’s fucking bullshit, you and I both know that. And if you think for one second after I get out of this house I’m going to tolerate your shit - you’ve got the wrong one. You can bitch all you want but he will never kick me out over you. My brother had it coming. Because I see you, I try to do just enough to keep him on my side. Not enough that it’s helpful for you, because you don’t deserve it, but the same way you do “just enough” into tricking him that you don’t mind my being here and you want to help me. You couldn’t tell him no when I called him crying and I see that now. You couldn’t tell him no because then he would see what a selfish careless monster you are. That’s why you’re trying to tolerate me. You can’t let him see you for as you are. But I promise if you keep this shit up - I will MAKE SURE he sees you for who you are. You know I see you, I can feel it. You don’t want to tango with me over my dad, I’ll promise you that too. I wanted to like you but I cannot stand you and that’s really too bad.

[vagueclarity]

You truly should have been an actor. You’re SO good, you believe your own lies! Fucking bravo there. I did EVERYTHING I could possibly fucking think of, including, DESTROY myself and who I was to try to keep you happy. Content, even. You’re the one who manipulated me for five years. You’re the one who taught me I couldn’t do anything by myself, I needed you. I couldn’t stand on my own two feet. You’re the one that taught me I had no right to my own feelings. You’re the one that made me suppress my feelings of anger, hurt, disappointment, you let me choke on them so you could keep your head above water. You beat me down one day at a time and I couldn’t see it. I see it now. I am so sad for myself that I let you do that to me. That I let anyone do that to me. I was not allowed to be right. I was not allowed to think for myself. I didn’t get to stand up to you. I was always wrong, even when I wasn’t. You never made a mistake. You let me suffocate on your double standards and never once thought hey, is she okay? You didn’t care. You made that painfully clear by the end of this. You put hands on me, you accused me of cheating, you threatened my life… yet somehow you think I’m the monster in this situation. I am done letting people walk on me. I finally stood up to you and you threw a fit and said we were getting divorced. I finally had ONE FREE THOUGHT for myself and that was wrong. I always wondered why it didn’t matter what I did, I was never enough and I was always wrong and according to you I still am. Well guess fucking what? YOU’RE wrong. YOU’RE THE FUCKING MONSTER. I let you destroy me. No one gets to do that now. I hate you and everything you did to me. I hope this decision haunts you. I hope you don’t get any sleep. You may have broken me, but I am fighting back and you can get the fuck out of the same universe I exist in. You’ll never be far enough away.

I am in charge of my life now. You need to let go. You’re not welcome, ever, ever again. Neither is anyone who has anything to do with you behind my back. Fuck you and everything you ever said and did to me. You never deserved me and you’ll NEVER have me again. Choke on your own tears. Pretty soon, it’ll be like you never existed. Ultimate karma for you, the professional victim.

[unavailableforhumancontact]

Lost my Nike duffle on my way to the house from the hospital

Tire busted with you in the back seat in the driveway

You forgot your shoes somehow before you ubered home

While I went to my car to get wrench after you offered to let me use your dad's ... I declined

What I want to know is why you're still stalking me in my dreams

We havent talked in weeks and frankly I thought I was past this gaping hole inside of me

Fuck

[shuttayouface]

How many times have you typed “watch Goodfellas” into google

X37 times here

[macabrebalmasque]

Really just in the mood to break and burn shit and drown myself in rum.

[artontrial]

YO HOMES

My gal @acceptanceofthenerds is literally the shit and you should go follow that ass because it's asexual appreciation week and it's time y'all GET YOURSELF EDUCATED so roll on over there for a good ass time.

[artontrial]

Journal #15 - food snob

Ha. HA. So apparently I’m becoming a real food snob at my dads house lately. “Don’t become one” “okay sorry” “yeah well you are” okay yeah. I’m getting pickier? Cuz I’m not putting stupid shit in my body anymore? And I just got my FUCKING WISDOM TEETH OUT. ALRIGHT. May I mention I never even see you for full weeks at a time. And this is my second and last day I see you this week. So suck my FUCKING ASS. I’m not trying to make u bend ur back over cuz I want grilled cheese instead of a cheeseburger. If u haven’t noticed, I’ve lost weight, gained muscle, and all around become more healthy. But that such a burden for you cuz I’m becoming a real “snob”. Kay fine.

I don’t complain ever when I’m given somthing I don’t particularly like your own GODDAMN DAUGHTER DOES EVERY NIGHT You give me options, I ask nicely, I’ve changed my diet. Thanks for making me feel like shit and now having to monitor yet ANOTHER thing about me at your house. Add that to how I dress, what I wear, how I look, how I act, what my fucking personality is. Why don’t u just buy me some new batteries and take my brain out.

It sounds like I’m taking this out of proportions but the only proportions you should be taking care of is YOUR FUCKING SELF, while I have to take my weight and height and make sure they match properly so I’m not deemed overweight by high school standards. No I’ve never actually done that But now I’m doing it For me

So sorry if I’m becoming a food snob, I honestly don’t care if my chicken had bones in it But you offered pizza So I want fucking pizza

Sorry to disappoint you. Jk I'm not.

[6jannexi9]

Хора,  наистина ли трябва да сте толкова себични, безсърдечни, обсебени от идеалите си и неспособни на каквато и да е проява на емпатия.  О, не смей да си казваш, че говоря за другите! Погледни се. Нима не осъждаш по някого всеки ден, оправдавайки себе си, задето си дал присъда?  Нима не отхвърляш хората, които не се пвисват в уж широкия ти кръг от идеали?  Толарентен си? Помисли отново.  Защо, когато погледнеш някой, които би определил като наистина неуместен и дори жалък, някоя абсолтна издънка, заслужаваща да е такава, защо вместо да го порицаеш и ти, не помислиш: а може би, на него също му е омръзнало все да е в грешка, може би дори няма да се вслуша в думите ми, защото няма да чуе нещо различно... може би, колкото и неопровержимо недостоен да е този човек, аз бих могъл да се държа добре,  защото не знам нищичко за него и за когото и да било  и като всички други хора съм зъл и себичен...