Oct 22, 2022
Being an alter is so weird because I was a greek god and now I'm disabled and dating Smokescreen from fucking transformers -Apollo
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Being an alter is so weird because I was a greek god and now I'm disabled and dating Smokescreen from fucking transformers -Apollo
Dysphoria
When I ask my gf if she's bi and she says no. Well then I'm guessing that she likes the core gender even though I long to transition and already feel like a dumb ass when I attempt to pass. That was a confidence builder .... Not.
-chuck
Realized part of my problem is that all communication w/ the rest of Nox went dark last night and when I needed another alter there was nobody. Definitely didn't help lol
Everything went dark. It happens to me sometimes but it usually comes back when I least expect it to. During these times I try to just do my own thing and get by as best I can without everyone else. Even if that takes months...
Even if my mental health declines again and I fall to shambles with no respite...
Even if even if even if
No matter what. Because that's just how it has to be.
Hahahahahaha it's so. fucking. funny. /s but not really cuz it's fucking hilarious how pathetic I am at handling life. Can't even function without sixty other parts of me being there to help out.
Dysphoria is
Confusion about why the body your controlling isn't yours.
Dysphoria is:
Knowing I will always be considered a lesbian and not who I am.
Just the other day my step daughter told me that kids at school were telling her that her mom and I will be going to hell for being gay. I told her to respond with, "Well I'll see you there cuz thou shall not judge is an actual commandment." Either way .... This will be my life in this body.
Dysphoria is:
Hearing my step daughter cry cuz she dont have a dad in her life, but knowing I'm a male alter in a female body. I'm sure I wouldnt amount anyways.
Dysphoria is:
Wishing I had a packer to maybe help. Knowing I dont have one. Then stupidly thinking about stuffing .... 😕😥
Dysphoria is:
Knowing that I may never get paid as much as a man and won't be able to fully provide.