Truly, Madly, Deeply In Love
"Y/N, I know it will happen, love. I know it will" I hushed, holding her tightly in my arms as we laid on the couch in front of the TV, watching some kind of random movie that got displayed on some kind of channel we often look at when we have a sleep over.
"But no one has ever wanted me Newt..." I heard her mumble against my chest and I cupped her cheek and lifted her face slowly only to see her eyes filling with tears, breaking my heart to a million pieces at the sight.
"D-d-do you know for my prom every girl had a date except me ?" she sniffled, cheeks glowing bright red in what seemed like shame, "and the worst part was..... you know what, it's a silly thing. Happened a while back" she wiped her tears and averted her gaze from me suddenly. "Y/N, it's not silly. Please tell me, love" I hugged her soothingly, "tell me. Please".
Y/N looked at me nervously before letting out a sigh, "I've always wanted that moment where the guy puts the corsage onto the girl's hand at prom to happen to me... but I had to watch every girl get that moment when I've been dreaming it for so long... but I couldn't have it".
"There were more boys than girls too and yet no one wanted me" she said quietly. "Y/N, that's because they ain't worthy of your love" I said earnestly, "you have to need someone who's worthy of you... cause you are precious" I grabbed her hand very gently and intertwined her fingers with mine, as she nuzzled her face to the crook of my neck, tears pouring down her cheeks.
"I just don't think that anyone could ever want me Newt" she murmured very quietly, tightening her grip on my hand. "Y/N, anyone in the world will have all the luck in the world just to be with you" I said immediately, and wiped the tears away, brushing a strand of hair out of her face making her grin softly.
"Just seeing couples getting ready to do cute things together for Valentines day... I just can't help but wonder what it's like to have someone fall for you" she said in a whisper, her voice was almost inaudible, but I still sensed her words, "I mean really in love with you. Not just by looks but be consumed with every little piece of you. The way you laugh, the way you talk... the way you just exist".
"I'm so afraid" I felt her small hands clinging to my hoodie, "that no one will ever fall in love with me... I'm just-- " but I cut her off immediately tackling her with a hug not wanting her to finish her that sentence knowing what she was going to say. My heart broke even more.
"Y/N, if I could give you one thing in life I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes, only then would you realise how special you are..." I whispered and pressed a kiss on her hair, and took in her scent.
"You know what?" I said, wrapping my arms around her, until there was no space left between our bodies, "I'm going to make you feel special like you deserve to be felt everyday. She tilted her head with a wet chuckle, "Newt, what are you talking about ?".
"I'm going to plan Valentine's day" I grinned excitedly. The look in her eyes changing noticeably, flickering with joy, as her smile turned to giggles, making my heart skip beats.
She had a smile worth dying for, but oh when she laughed.
Time skip to Valentine's Day
I woke up to the familiar smell of pancakes coming from my kitchen. I lazily opened my eyes to see a figure at the door. "Newt?" I asked sleepily, rubbing my eyes and sitting up. "Good morning!!" his cheerful voice echoed as he walked closer, carrying a big tray in his hands.
"Breakfast in bed" he smiled, placing the tray on my bedside table only to grab a pillow and place it on the head board so I can sit back comfortably. Once he was satisfied he placed the tray on my lap and I was amused by how lovely it was.
Rose petals were scattered around the plate located in the middle which was also accompanied with my mug filled with steaming hot chocolate topped with whipped cream and little pink heart shaped sprinkles.
"Newt..." I glanced up to see him smiling sweetly at me. "Do you like it?" he asked bouncing on his heels. "It's homemade with love" he grinned cheekily with a wink. "Come here you" I laughed, patting the spot besides me.
Once he nestled himself next to me I handed him the fork knowing he hasn't eaten anything without me but instead he took the tray and cutlery positioning them on his lap. My confusion soon turned into admiration and I got so lost in his charm as he began to manipulate our breakfast, pouring the rich maple syrup onto the stack of pancakes and then slicing it to small pieces.
"Open up, love " Newt spoke as he looked up at me, holding the fork pierced with a piece of pancake, carefully stuffing the food between my teeth. "It's delicious" I giggled, covering my mouth so as not to spill anything out of it while chewing.
He smiled proudly before he supplied himself with a bite of our breakfast but right before he put the fork in his mouth he suddenly halted with widened eyes and excused himself running out in a flash only to come back a second later holding something more in his hands.
"T-t-these are for you" he said with a shy smile handing me two flower bouquets, one with red roses and the other with pink. "I-I-I didn't know which one you would have liked most so I got you both" he said smiling sheepishly, his soft face gazing at me adoringly.
"Do you like them ?" he asked in a keen tone, sitting back in the bed and brushing his fingers on the pinkish petals. "Newt, they're so beautiful" I exclaimed happily, bubbling with joy and it made his cheeks turn to the shade of my roses. "Thank you so much".
Breakfast resumed with Newt delicately feeding me as he nourished himself with other half of the stack. I opened my mouth again, expecting Newt to satisfy it with another dose of sugary dough but it never came. "I'm sorry, love. But we're done here" he informed, when I looked at the plate with nothing but the traces of syrup.
I chuckled embarrassedly and grabbed the hot mug when I felt a soft kiss being placed onto my cheek making a lovesick feeling wash over me, numbing my senses and fluttering hard in my stomach. Warmth spread over my body, consuming me. I felt loved.
"Sooo what are we going to do today ?" I asked, clearing my throat and snapping myself back to reality. "What do you prefer, love ? Something outside or inside?" he asked, smiling widely, while collecting the dishes back on to the tray.
"Newt what ever you have got for me I am sure it's perfect" I chuckled, feeling happiness exploding in my stomach for the time and effort he had gone through for me. "Noooo" he whined childishly with a pout, "you have to choose".
"If you want indoors I got snacks and your favourite movies ready to get all snuggly inside a blanket fort" he explained enthusiastically "and if you wanna go outside, I've got a picnic ready at the back of my jeep so we can drive off to somewhere".
"Outside?" I tilted my head and he smiled back warmly with a nod. "Give me some time to get ready ok ?" I said and he rolled his eyes playfully, "Y/N, take all the time you need love. You know I always wait for you" he chuckled making me laugh too.
After he left I dragged myself into the bathroom to see my bath all ready, filled with bubbles with a few candles around the tub which was scented with what seemed like roses too. It looked so breath-taking I had to take a few moments to admire it.
After refreshing myself, I wrapped a towel and walked straight to my closet to take out the outfit I have been waiting to wear for quite a while now. It was a dress Newt chose for me at the mall some time back but I felt too self conscious so I pushed the idea of buying it.
But I couldn't seem to forget the look on Newt's face when I tried it on and showed it to him. His deep brown eyes were full of warmth, as his pink lips quirked in a full blown smile. My heart bursted with love as I noticed him looking at me, his eyes sparkling as if I were the only person in the world. Therefore, I went back to the store later on and bought the dress to wear it as a suprise for Newt one day but never did I ever think it would be on such a romantic situation with him.
Once I was fully dressed and walked out of my room, Newt's mouth gaped open as his widened eyes looked at me, gawking silently and mindlessly with his cheeks tinting red by the second.
"You look incredibly gorgeous, love" he managed to say or stutter with an ever growing smile. "Thank you Newt"I giggled coming closer to him and placing a soft kiss to his cheek. "And you look very handsome yourself" I reciprocated genuinely making him break into a shy grin.
"I got something for you" Newt spoke up and slowly bought his hand that was hidden behind his back to reveal a beautiful corsage. "I made it by myself" he told me very shyly and looked down again, which was one of the most adorable things I've ever seen in life, "so I could do it with all your favourite flowers".
When Newt looked down while blushing, I lifted up his head by lifting his chin up with two fingers and his cheeks began to burn, leaving them to glow when he noticed me staring already. "It's the most beautiful corsage I've ever seen Newt" I smiled, his gesture making my heart warm and makes butterflies tickle the walls of my stomach. "Thank you so much..." I said softly, trailing the back of my fingers over his cheek to caress while keeping my eyes on his, which were sparkling brightly, "for everything".
"I-I-I can't b-b-believe you did all this for m-m-me" I started to stammer, unable to express how grateful I was in proper words when I was cut off with a hug. "Y/N, you know I do anything for you. No matter how bizarre it is" he murmured into my ear, peppering a few kisses all over. I hummed happily and smiled, loving this moment.
"So what type of guy did you have in mind if you were to have a date today?" Newt asked while we climbed down the flight of stairs. "You just tell me what you want and I'll be that for you" he prompted eagerly and a chuckle left my lips as I stopped and turned to face him, grabbing his hands in mine, "goofy and clumsy".
"But Y/N that's just me" he frowned. "I know and I wouldn't change it for the world" I grinned and kissed his cheek making a big smile appeared on his face, love pulsing through my chest as a genuine smile flooded my face.
When we walked out of my building and reached the the car, Newt opened the door being the gentlemen he always is and helped me in. "I've got your favourite CDs ready. Pick what you want, love" he smiled with a quick peck on my cheek before coming around and getting in himself.
The drive was quiet, except for the music yet comfortable as it always is when we're together. Newt drove through a forest-like area. The sun was shining right through the spaces of the leaves on the trees that surrounded us, giving it a captivating beauty. Newt parked the car somewhere alongside the road and grabbed a basket from the backseat of the car, along with a checkered plaid that draped over it before coming over and opening the door for me.
He grabbed a hold of my hand and laced our fingers, feeling it glow. I placed a quick kiss to his crimson red cheek, as we started walking down a gravel path, leading to a beautiful lake in an open area that was surrounded by trees.
The sight was romantic and so breath-taking that I stopped walking for a few seconds to take in the environment. "Y/N?" Newt suddenly spoke up, as he looked over his shoulder at me. "Sorry, it's just so beautiful" I smiled, and did a little twirl making him chuckle while he unfolded the plaid, to lie it down on the ground. He then held out his hand inviting me to sit with him before we started pulling out all the home-made goods Newt had in the basket.
I quietly pulled out the camera from the bag on the side and quickly snapped a picture of Y/N already stuffing herself with french fries. She was just so adorable I couldn't resist not taking a picture and then I heard the familiar squeal of her not wanting any pictures taken.
I think she'll will never know how much I want to take a picture of her when she's not looking, to capture her in those moments when she's just being herself, caught up in some daily task or thoughts and daydreams that I would never even know, times when she's unaware and unabashedly imperfect.
"You took a picture of me stuffing french fries in my mouth" she grumbled playfully with a slight push to my shoulder, "and I bit my finger". I let out a laugh before moving closer to her and handing the camera for her to look while grabbing her hand to kiss her tiny finger. "Newt I look hideous" she pouted and I sighed with a small shake of my head as I held her hands bringing them close to my chest where she could feel my heart, every beat which is meant only for her.
"You are the loveliest, gentlest and most beautiful person I have ever known" I said looking deep into her beautiful pair of pearls, "and even that is an understatement".
A blush rose to her cheeks and she shyly looked at my eyes, biting her bottom lip to hide her growing smile making her look so adorable and I couldn't help but pepper her beautiful face with many kisses.
I still haven't figured out how sit with her and not be madly in love with everything she does.
Y/N was unexplainable. You think she was a good girl, but once you get to know her, you realise she's everything.
She's deeper than anyone else and that's probably why nobody gets her. She's a bit too much for anyone, and she has this weird habit of being herself all the time.
She is insecure with her flaws and has a hint of sadness in her eyes but she hides it well behind a smile that almost appears natural. She's delicate but tough, mostly tough on herself, the mistakes in which she made, often eat away at her conscience, she's honest but there are things she keeps to herself, understanding that not everyone deserves to unlock her secret door.
Y/N has always been so extraordinary to me and there's no goddamn universe that could be as much as her. But she doesn't believe that, and she blames herself every night for not being ordinary. She hates herself for being this unique human being but I fell in love with her for her uniqueness.
She's got a heavy heart, a messy soul, a reckless mind but there's this quiet sense of hope that still lives within her soul and I think it's absolutely beautiful the way she carries herself.
She was made of magic that only I could see.
"Do you know what my favourite picture is ?" I asked in a whisper, eyes dancing over the blush on her face, as she tilted her head to the side with a twinkle in her beautiful eyes. I let out a chuckle at her cuteness before reaching for the pocket in my pants to get my wallet to show her my favourite picture that I carry around everywhere, every single day.
It was a photo taken a long time back, we were sitting on the kitchen floor waiting for our cookies to be done while listening to the radio and 'Can I have this dance?' from high school musical suddenly came on and Y/N smiled at me like she wanted to dance but didn't want to ask so I grabbed her arm and spun her around the room.
Y/N had her hair in a messy bun, with no make up on, and a pair of baggy sweat pants and a giant Star Wars t-shirt and she looked absolutely stunning in my eyes, by just simply being her.
So after we finished dancing or well mostly tripping over with lots of smiles and giggles, which cheered me up, honestly, I held her in my arms and smiled, to take a goofy selfie but we both looked at each other instead of the camera which captured that moment in a perfect picture.
"Oh no" he panicked, quickly standing up. "Newt?" I asked worriedly. "M-my wallet" he stammered nervously, "I-I must have dropped it somewhere". I sprung on my feet instantly, "Newt calm down. We'll go look" I said seeing him turn pale by the moment, "did you have it this morning ?".
"YES!!" he said frantically looking around. "Newt we will look here and then you go look at your place and I'll check at mine. It can't be anywhere else" I suggested and he nodded in agreement.
After a while of looking around here, we packed everything and went back to my place. "I'll come back as soon as I can" Newt said sadly as he dropped me at my door even though I told him not to. "I'm really sorry for ruining--" he started to say feeling guilty but I cut him off. "Don't be".
Once Newt left I looked in all my rooms and then moved to the kitchen to find it fallen under the table, where he must have dropped it when he came to make breakfast in the morning.
I quickly picked it up and opened it to see if anything is missing, but the first thing I saw was a picture of me and Newt right in front. I was wearing a giant Star Wars t-shirt and my hair was an absolute mess and I had a goofy smile on my face while Newt hugging me from behind, smiling so happily.
The same goofy smile I had made its way across my as I thought of how much of a mess I looked like here regardless of how much Newt said I looked 'bloody' beautiful. It would've been almost comical, if not for the absolute adoration encompassed within his eyes when he said so.
I remember the feeling I had when I first met Newt. I noticed his eyes instantly, they were beautiful brown orbs that got brighter and brighter every time he saw me.
He looked at me as if I were something special, the feeling of being special so foreign, it almost hurt to be looked at like that.
I've always thought Newt was plain amazing. I remember talking with him day and night and telling stories and talking about things we loved endlessly. He made it so simple and effortless and I couldn't help myself but fall in love with him.
But I've always been too terrified to tell him how I felt, especially anxious about the fact that if I would have said it, it could ruin our friendship.
I couldn't stop my ever growing smile on the thought of him as I searched through the rest of the wallet, but did not come across any cash or credit cards, just a folded paper in one case. Curiously, I pulled it out and opened wondering why Newt was so eager to find the wallet if there was nothing important here.
Moving my fingers along the neatly folded paper I opened it carefully, only to be shocked and amazed the next moment. A gasp rolled over my lips before I could swallow it down.
It was the first letter I ever wrote to Newt, years back when we first became friends. My mind couldn't even begin to comprehend the fact that he treasured it with him for so long. My thoughts were blank, clouded and unclear, as if the feeling of love fogged up my senses.
I sat like that for a while, just staring at the letter when the door suddenly flew open and Newt came stumbling inside. "Did you find it? did you find it?" he asked running up to me and I nodded still speechless."Y/N?" his worried voice echoed in my mind as he quickly knelt next to me, "sweetheart, what happened?".
"Y-y-you still kept this ?" I asked with a tremble in my voice. The air seemed to be knocked out of my lungs. "Yes" he answered in a quiet whisper as I looked up at his big brown eyes, which had one of the most beautiful mixture of colours I had ever seen in my life, staring at me. "Why?".
"Because you matter the world to me" I murmured softly, and looked down before looking back into her eyes. Once I looked at her and could feel the happiness blooming inside me, as if her eyes were the calm, beautiful morning after a night full of storm.
Suddenly, while we stared at each other in silence, I couldn't believe I held myself back for so long when I always wanted more. I wanted more than just looks and brushes of arms and legs. I wanted to taste her lips and her neck and her cheeks and everything. I wanted to run my hand through her hair and feel the electricity of love rush through me. I wanted to pull her in and never let her go.
"Can't you see it ?" I whispered with a trembling voice as I gently caressed her cheek, "I am hopelessly in love with you Y/N. I have for so, so long now". A soft sniffle left my mouth and I was soon bought into the familiar loving embrace of her arms. She held me tight as I started crying.
"I am in love with your big beautiful eyes and perfect laughing smile and rosy cheeks and little nose and pretty hair that makes your face glow. I am also in love with your voice and the way you blabber about the things you love endlessly and your warm hugs and sweet kisses and hilarious faces and corny jokes. I love it all" I said breathlessly, tears rolling down my face.
"Y/N, I want to make you happy in any way I can. I want to make you the kind of happy that when you lay in bed at night you're gonna think that who even knew this was possible" I said, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, making her more beautiful than she already is, "and I want to be the one to make you happy".
Y/N pulled her face from my chest and looked at me with sparkling eyes. Her irises shined bright, so bright they almost blinded me. "I love you".
"It's you" she continued softly, her head resting on mine as I saw tears starting to trickle down her cheek. She placed her hands in my neck, cupping half of my jaw, "it's always been you Newt. Even though I never told you".
"You're have always been my everything always" the quiet, melodic tune of her voice drifted through the air. The smile resting over my lips twitched, spreading into a blown-out grin as our eyes shyly found each other for a long, craving stare.
Her nose was pink and her eyes were watering. I noticed her eyes were even more beautiful when she cries. Most people would look at her, see a regular girl who's upset over something. To me, she's no ordinary girl. To me, she's the most beautiful, most lovely girl in the world.
Even now, as broken as she is, with her shoulders slumped over and knees wobbling in weakness and bloodshot eyes that can't cry anymore because she's already shed so many tears, she is still beautiful.
"I'm so sorry for taking so long to realise..." I faltered. "Newt, you have nothing to apologise for" she cooed, and pressed my head against her where I left a few kisses, "I am sorry for not--".
"You don't have to be" I hushed her immediately, wrapping my arms around her body and pressing myself against her to hold her listening to the change of her breathing pattern as our eyes kept staring at each other, drowning in the colours of our irises, heartbeats changing until they were beating on the same rhythm.
"C-c-c-can I k-k-kiss you ?" I stumbled suddenly, unable to stop myself from looking to her eyes to her lips and back again. She looked into my eyes in deep thought as to what spluttered out of my mouth.
"I've been dreaming about it" she admitted shyly, with bright red cheeks and that was all it took for me to kiss her like every fibre of my being was dying and she was my medicine. And oh my love, it did feel like it, because suddenly, I was more alive, I felt stronger, happier and I felt at home. Her arms felt like home and bloody hell, I never wanted to leave home again.
We were entirely in our own little world as we sat there, taking in each other's taste and enjoyed our what seemed like an ever lasting hug. Pulling back, I let my hand caress her cheek, taking in every little bit of her into my heart.
I smiled at her, making her blush. "Do you mind?" she said jokingly, smiling foolishly to herself. "I can't help it. You're so perfect" I trailing the back of my fingers over her cheek to caress while keeping my eyes on hers but she shyly glanced down and shrugged her shoulders. "I'm far from it".
I shook my head and sighed. "I hate it when you think of yourself as nothing. You're so beautiful and amazing. You may not be perfect to someone else, or to even yourself but you're perfect in my eyes".
"You have no idea how many 11:11 wishes, shooting star wishes and just plain wishes I have made to be good enough to be able to deserve you" I whispered and kissed her lips gently, causing her eyes to shine. A smile from ear to ear appeared on my face to the sight of her beautiful face smiling at me.
"Am I the reason you look so happy in the picture ?" Y/N grinned cheekily, picking up my wallet. "Oh darling" I cooed pulling back to look at her beautiful blushing face, "no camera could ever capture the look in my eyes and the feeling in my heart when I'm with you".
In silence, she pressed her lips gently on mine, a smile spread all over her face. My hands slid from her face to cup her soft cheeks back in my hands again and she slid her arms around my neck and held them there keeping me close.
My thoughts were blank, but at the same time filled with thoughts about her, about flash-forwards with her; our future. I thought about us, causing my happiness to grow even more.
"Can you stay here for the night ?" Y/N stirred in my arms, and pressed herself tighter against me, nuzzling her face just underneath my chin. Smiling to being her adorable self, I caressed her back. "Of course darling".
"Sure?" she asked again still unsure of whether I was comfortable with my decision being the kind hearted person she is, "or at least stay till I fall asleep?".
"Well that's given" I chuckled as I felt her gaze resting on my face, "pancakes in the morning?". Y/N let out a happy sigh against my chest as I nuzzled our noses together. Her eyes were sparkling, dancing with the kind of light that made you feel warm inside to see.
With my face pressed against hers, I noticed her eyes being closed in tiredness. Softly, my lips left a kiss on her forehead as I wrapped my arms tightly around her waist and moved us into her bedroom before laying her on the mattress with flushed cheeks.
I gave a sweet kiss on her lips before walking over to wardrobe to get her a change of clothes and to get mine which I kept here because I basically live with her. Y/N had always been someone I couldn't stay away from; a few moments is all it takes for me to miss her like crazy.
It was something only she could make me feel like; it was something I could only define it as love. Pure love. I was dazed into my thoughts when a thud made me turn around to see Y/N on the floor, with a sheepish smile on her face. "Shouldn't have bounced".
A cheerful fit of laughter escaped my mouth without my permission. In return, she tuck her tongue at me. "Is this what made you fall in love with me?" she chuckled nervously, while I walked closer with a big nod and sat next to her but she shyly looked down, fiddling with her fingers.
"But I'm not like other girls" her small voice sounded quietly, "I prefer to eat and sit on the computer than to party. I'm weird and awkward".
"Sweetheart" I whispered, to which she snuggled closer to me, pressing her front against my own. My lips left a kiss on her forehead to soothe her. "Oh, my angel" I murmured gently, while caressing her head with the palm of my hand to which she hummed and nuzzled her face into my chest, "I love your awkward quirky charm".
"And no you're not like other girls at all. You're way better" I cooed and turned to her lips, where I left a few kisses, "and baby girl, you are never ever alone... I'll always sit next to you while you're on the computer and eat with you till we 're both stuffed" I exclaimed in a joking kind of way, what made her giggle.
"This is me Y/N, hands out, heart open, always loving you, whether you fail or fall, just as you are" I said truthfully and pressed a kiss on her nose making her smile softly with such pure eyes that it took me aback a little.
"Please don’t ever leave me behind. I’m never going to find a person as sweet, loving, caring and patient as you. Nobody will even come close. I don’t want anyone else" I pleaded, as she cuddled into me, making herself comfortable.
Her eyes sparkled brightly, showing me her happiness as she placed a few fingers underneath my chin to invite me closer for a kiss. "I love you" she smiled against my lips, repeating the three words over and over while we lost ourselves in each other.
After we got changed to our pyjamas and quickly snuggled under the covers, Y/N buried her cute face into the crook of my neck. I chuckled, and rolled us around, so she could sleep on top of my chest, like she always did when I bunked over.
We looked at each other for a moment before I leaned in and pressed a kiss on her lips."Can I stroke your hair while you fall asleep?" I asked, with a pouty face, my hand already stroking her head tenderly. "Do you want me to fall in love with you even more?" she giggled sweetly, unable to hide her full-blown smile as she grabbed a hold of my free hand, sliding her fingers between mine.
"Only if it ends with you in my arms every night for the rest of my life" I smiled, holding her protectively against my chest and pressed my lips against her forehead to rest them there for the rest of the night, watching her eyes close with a smile resting on her lips which I would be able to kiss every morning when I wake up from now on like I've always wanted.
I craved the simplest of love with Y/N. A cold night, warm sheets and her skin against my own. Certainly, that is all I could ever ask for. Sometimes you can't explain what you see in a person. It's just the way they take you to a place where no one else can.
Never in a million years did I think I'd find someone so utterly and completely perfect, someone who would make me happier than I ever dreamed I could be, someone that would touch my life so profoundly and just give me a whole new reason to breathe. And then I found her and realised that everything I anticipated doesn't even compare to her.
We found each other in this crazy, messed up, beautiful world because we belong together, we belong in each other's arms and we are connected by more than love. For the one simple reason that Y/N is the one and only person I will ever truly want for the rest of my life.
Wild and free. Wonderfully chaotic, a perfectly put together mess.
She is the kind of magic that you marry.
