Bucky Barnes was right in the middle of making a very important decision between a strawberry matcha latte and a vanilla Java chip chai, whatever those were, when suddenly the overhead wind chime moved in tandem to the door whooshing open. In entered a brunette, dressed in a soft grey sweater and black jeans, balancing what three large classic romance books in one hand while fishing for her wallet using her other. Suddenly, a crash echoed from a corner of the café, catching her off guard as she quickly turned towards the source. Her sudden pivot caused a book from the pile to slip, as she slowly yet helplessly saw her dusty edition of pride and prejudice tumble for the floor, a pair of muscular hands belonging to someone with surprisingly good reflexes caught it. Looking up, she felt herself get lost in his weirdly deep blue eyes before her brain finally started working and she smiled. “Those are some crazy good reflexes.” She said to the stranger. “You’re welcome,” The broody stranger said. Oookkkaayy, not a big talker, she thought to herself. While she yet again fumbled to pay, Bucky - the broody stranger - checked her out. I mean, she was definitely pretty, with her messy hair covering her forehead, and pierced ears glittering. But, what pulled him in deeper was her charming laugh as the barista joked about something. Taking his leave, Bucky made his way out the café and onto the windy road. Thoughts of the beautiful stranger and her magnetic laugh kept swimming in his mind as he walked the long grueling trip back to the tower, making sure to waste as much time as he could before heading back into, what he thought of, his communal cave of despair. Honestly, his relationship with most of the members wasn’t anything special, but it was normal to an extent of being able to communicate on a daily basis. However, with tony stark, it was a whole another, rather pained relationship. They communicated to a minimum, mostly because of Bucky’s undying guilt when it came to being the reason for Maria and Howard Starks deaths. The minute he left the elevator, and walked onto the communal floor which basically served as an oversized living room, his thoughts came to an abrupt end.; Because, there stood in front of him, animatedly waving her hands and laughing at Sam's bad joke, was no other than the café stranger. Malfunctioning, he looked at Natasha, because let's be for real, what was a civilian doing in the living room of earth's mightiest superheroes, when she herself made her way to Bucky and asked what was wrong with him. "Who's she? and what's she doing here?" he muttered to Nat. "Looks like you have quite a dislike for her already", she smirked. He was about to retort, when suddenly, Tony appeared and the café stranger ran for him and they embraced lovingly for what felt like too long. Gosh, was she related to him? or something more? Nat's voice drew him out of his thoughts as she finally spoke. "That's Eva Stark, Tony's daughter". The works jumbled in Bucky's brain before he could finally understand the extent of trouble he was in. "Fuck", he said before looking back at the café stranger - Eva. This was not going to end well, he could feel it deep in his bones. Yet, it did nothing for the tiny crush blossoming in his heart. He was so fucked.
My first Bucky X reader so ofc I had to make it angsty and painful with lots of fluff and shit
Pairing: Bucky X Reader
Warning: Angst, blood, gunshot wounds, near death experience, anxiety, slight references to bucky past abuse and trauma, fluff, slight humor
Word Count: 3768 words
Description: During a mission reader gets gravely injured, leaving Bucky to pick up the pieces as he scrambles to bring her back to him
Bucky Barnes always hated the cold-always hated the way it pricked at his skin painfully. He was used to the feeling though- the sharp feeling of chills penetrating his body, the burning pain of his skin thawing out, and the way his lips cracked and bled from the dry, searing winds of winter. The cold was a constant, pervasive hum in his life, seeping in when he least wanted it too and clawing at his limps with a frosty grip. He frowns his thoughts and leans forward in his seat, gripping the edges of it tightly as his knuckles turn white from the exertion- his body shaking imperceptibly.
A hand rests on top of his, wrenching him away from his thoughts and his eyes flicker towards the intrusion. The hand is tiny as it sits on top of his, and he watches as the fingers intertwine with his- the thumb rubbing soothing, steadying circles. His eyes flicker up towards her face, and he smiles tensely, the emotion not truly reaching his eyes as he gazes up at her. She just smiles gently and squeezes his hand, the silent understanding evident on her soft, kind face.
She was far more gentle than he deserved- far more understanding and kind than he even understood anyone to be. But she was warm, and her touch eased the pain he was constantly feeling- pulling him away from the cold. So, he nodded at her appreciatively, smiling once more as he looked forward, mentally preparing himself for the upcoming mission.
Hydra always preferred for their bases to be located in frozen, barren wastelands. It made them harder to locate and, consequently, harder to infiltrate and navigate efficiently. But they never banked on the Winter Soldier working against them, and Bucky was used to the freezing cold of Hydra's bases. And Bucky was mad. The memories of his former abuse constantly pervaded his mind, racking his thoughts with feelings of constant pain and anger. He clenches his jaw tightly and leans forward, eyes set forward in rapt determination. The hand squeezes tighter and she speaks now, voice gentle as her fingers play softly with his.
“Are you okay?”
He nods once and mumbles a silent, ‘yes’, not offering her anything more than that. She just sighs and leans back, pulling her hand away from his fingers as she moves. His jaw clenches tighter at the loss, body aching as the pervasive cold seeps back in. He eases only slightly when the hand finds the back of neck, fingers scratching at the base of his neck. He preens at this and his body slouches a fraction before he straightens again and turns towards her, adoration over taking his features.
“It's going to be okay….you're going to be okay.” She turns and looks towards the front of the ship before turning back towards him and leaning in. She presses a kiss to the corner of his lips, leaning back and giggling softly as he moves to follow- desperate for more contact. “It's a small, remote base, there won't be many soldiers there. Besides you have me as back up! And you know I won't let anything happen to you!”
He scoffs and turns his back around, before stretching his metal arm, “it's not me I'm worried about.”
“Me? Thought you'd have more confidence in me than that…” she pouts and leans back dramatically, crossing her arms like a child.
“That's not-”
“I know, Bucky.” Her hand finds his neck again and she scratches lightly at the skin there, “it's going to be okay! Besides, you still owe me a date night and I intend to cash that in!”
“You're still on that?”
“Until I get my date night, yeah!”
~
The base was far larger than they had expected it to be, with far more soldiers than there should have been. She pants loudly and presses herself up against the wall, exhaustion creeping painfully into her bones. She laughs silently and looks over at Bucky, who is still the perfect picture of stoicism and poise.
“I'm starting to think we were fed incorrect information!”
“Starting to?” His eyes shift towards her figure and he smirks at her, watching as she breathes heavily against the wall. She just nods once and laughs again, face flushed with sweat.
“Yeah, just starting too.” Her eyes flicker towards the door, listening closely for footsteps- as she would hear them before he would. “We're already here so there's no point in leaving before we get the data. I'm smaller and way quieter than you, I can go in and download the information and get out before they realize what hit them.”
“They already know we're here, Y/N! We can just leave and try again- you're not going in there alone!” She scoffs loudly and shakes her head petulantly before standing up and walking towards the door. He watches as she peaks through the crack, checking both angles before turning back around.
“You head back towards the extraction zone- clear me an escape route okay? I'll be fast, I promise!” She walks up towards him and grips his arm, leaning in to place a kiss to the corner of his mouth. She doesn't lean away this time when he moves instead, choosing instead to lock her lips with his. She sighs softly into his mouth, moving her lips against his deftly as a silent goodbye. She steps back and gives him a small peck before walking towards the door once more. “Comms check?”
He scoffs and replies, pressing a finger to his ear as he speaks, “reading you loud and clear.”
Natasha's voice crackles through then as well, “the extraction point is clear. We'll keep it safe for you, Y/N. Be safe.”
She smiles once more at Bucky, and he watches as she checks the door once more before quietly leaving. He sits there in silence a moment, feeling the cold seeping in as his chest tightens painfully. She'll be fine, he knows she will be, but that doesn't stop his thoughts from constantly spiraling towards blood and death. He stands sharply and walks towards the door as well before turning and rushing towards the extraction point. He will keep the area safe for her, while he waits- just as she keeps him safe from the cold.
~
“Room clear,’ she speaks into the comms softly, feet scraping across the floor as she checks the area over once more. It was shockingly easy to get here and unease filled her body, wracking her body with tension. “Extracting data now… how is it out there, Nat?”
“Completely empty.” She huffs a laugh at this and leans down, checking the screens for a camera feed. Once she finds it, she flicks through the cameras, taking note of every person she finds and their locations. The base was way bigger than expected, but, according to her calculations, there were way less people manning it than expected. Most of them were at the infiltration point, laying dead in a pool of their blood. But now, there practically no one left, almost as if they were hiding or gone. She furrows her brows and leans in towards the screens further, searching desperately for anything she missed.
Nothing.
Where the hell is everyone? She shakes her head and stands up, shrugging her shoulders as she grabs the data stick, intending to leave as fast as possible.
“Transfer complete, heading to the extraction point now.”
“Copy that, see you soon, Y/N.”
Bucky's voice doesn't filter out and she frowns before heading towards the hallway. Is he mad at me? The walls are grimy and poorly lit and she watches as a light flickers above her precariously before it burns out, leaving the hallway horrifyingly dark. She shakes her head and continues determination lining her steps as she walks quietly- route predetermined in her head.
She pauses suddenly and cocks her head, listening as the tell tale sound of footsteps patter closer towards her. A lot of footsteps. She backpeddles and her eyes flicker around wildly, looking for an escape route she knows she wont find. There's nothing. A curse filters out under her breath and she turns around, shuffling back towards the room she just exited. She shuts the door quietly and places her back against it, listening as her heart rapidly pounds in her aching chest.
There's a window in front of her and she bites her lips, acknowledging her only three options: fight and kill the people coming, fight and die, or jump out of the window and hope you live. She presses her ear towards the door, listening with baited breath as the steps get closer before stopping suddenly. Her brows furrow and she shakes her head confused at the lack movement.
“We know you are in there, little one.”
Her heart leaps into her throat and she holds back a gasp as she pulls back from the door- locking it as she moves backwards, tripping over the feet slightly. Her throat clenches tightly and her body trembles as she panics. She was supposed to sneak past everyone, and now she's a cornered, trapped fox- prepared to gnaw off her own leg to escape.
A gun shot echos loudly through the room, ripping loudly through the door as a red hot, searing pain radiates from her side. She gasps and grabs desperately at her side, fingers quickly becoming drenched in the red, hot liquid flowing out of her. She shutters and swallows the pain down as she moves towards the window, droplets of her life trailing behind her as she moves.
Her lips quiver as she moves too slowly for her liking and her side yells loudly in protest as she wrenches the window open before peering outside. It's only a third floor window- a small drop all things considered. The door bangs again as a heavy fist pounds against it relentlessly and she whimpers loudly before raising her pistol up and emptying her clip in the wood. A loud yell echos from behind it and she smiles widely at their pain before dropping.
The ground crashes into her with a roar and she rolls on impact, whimpering into her fist painfully as she sits up. Her fingers tremble now as the snow cascades around her, drenching her body in cold chills as wetness seeps into her suit. She shivers and stands up on weak knees, pressing her fingers tightly into her side as she begins to walk slowly. She's rapidly losing blood now and her breathing hitches and body trembles as her skin begins to pale.
“B-bucky?”
“Reading, we heard gunshots, what's your status?”
“Not the best….” She swallows deeply and winces at the dryness clawing up her throat, “gunshoot wound on my right hip. They cornered me in the administration room, and I had to jump out the window……. I-I'm losing blood really fast, Buck.” Her voice is weak now and she stumbles over her feet, falling into the snow with a small grunt.
“What's your position?!” Bucky yells through the microphone now and she feels a surge of adrenaline at the sound, urging her back onto her feet suddenly. She looks up at the window, knowing it won't be long before they break through the door and come searching for her. Turning towards the woods in front of her, she runs as best she can- ignoring the stabbing pain in her side and the weakness clawing at her legs. Another shot rings out and she sobs, her chest aching as fear spikes through her chest.
“Sweetheat, please! What is your position?”
“Northern side, heading t-towards the woodsss now, Buck…. I-I don't think I'll be able t-to get farther than that..” Her clothes weren't made for extended stays in this weather and the cold becomes agonizingly painful, pricking her skin with its sharp talons. Another shot, this one lands next to her feet, causing her to flinch towards the side as she continues to run.
Thankfully, whoever is shooting is an awful shot.
“En route. Stay close to the region. Do not let them find you.”
“E-easier said than done when you're bleeding out in the s-snow, Bucky!” Her voice is practically a low mummer now and she groans as her head spins precariously, black seeping around her vision. She stumbles once more, rejoicing as the hard wood of a tree slams under her finger tips. She grasps at the bark desperately, before pulling herself up to a low kneel as she presses her head into it, bark digging into the skin of her forehead.
One final shot rings out and she screams loudly, teeth clacking together as she feels the burning hot pain tearing through her calf, ripping the skin and muscles apart at its penetration. Her free hand springs toward the muscle gripping onto it tightly as the blood begins to pour out of her. She turns her head and looks towards the building, eyes blurring as a black figure waves at her, before moving away from the window. She wheezes loudly and her throat closes tightly at the pain, wrenching a cough through her tightly clenched teeth.
She turns and attempts to stand one more, to become lost in the woods away from her assaillants, but her calf twitches under the pressure and she collapses once more, fingers digging into the snow covered earth. She curls into herself for a second, abdomen clenching as pain sears through her, overwhelming her senses. Blinking away the pain she kneels and crawls forward, determined to reach a safe location- wherever safe even is.
“We are honing in on your location, Y/N. Stay where you’re at!”
She can hear him, but her eyes squint pathetically as her vision blurs- not truly understanding his words. So, she grasps forwards, fingers digging into the ground as her arms pull her body along, leaving a steady trail of blood staining the white, pristine snow as she moves. Her head spins again and she wheezes loudly before coughing once more, watching with a clenched heart as blood splatters onto the snow in front of her. She cocks her head at the sight, wondering where the liquid came from.
She tries to kneel again, to crawl once more but her muscles hang limply at her side, refusing to heed her commands. She twitches on the ground as her face presses harshly into the snow, blood trailing steadily from her dry, cracking lips. The void creeps in closer, threatening to overtake her vision as her body shakes uncontrollably. She doesn’t feel the cold anymore, doesn’t feel the stabbing pain spiking through her side or calf. She only feels warm as she lays there, oddly content with her upcoming fate.
She thinks of him then. Bucky. Bucky, who was so stoic and cold towards everyone, but was a sweet, stuttering mess with her. Bucky, who held her tightly at night even though he was one wracked with a plague of neverending nightmares. Bucky, who loves her unconditionally, through the worst moments of both of their lives. Bucky, who she promised that she would be okay.
Bucky, who she lied to.
Her heart and throat clenches at the thoughts and she wheezes once more, trying to will her body to move- to keep fighting. But she can’t and so she lays there as tears and blood dribble down her face, staining the snow around her. Her lips tremble and she licks the sensation away, only barely registering the taste of iron staining her tongue. Her eyes flicker closed as the void overtakes her vision finally, the images of Bucky flashing through her during her final moments. She smiles at that, content that her final thoughts are of him- are of home.
~
When he heard the gunshots, his heart clenched painfully- fear and panic echoing painfully through his chest. He looked at Natasha immediately, confirming his suspicions with her pensive gaze- something was wrong and they both knew it. He stood suddenly and reached a hand up towards his microphone, echoing his concerns to Y/N. Her voice was so weak then already, pain lacing her tone as she communicated her situation to them Natasha booted up the jet immediately then, honing onto her location as he spoke loudly to her, demanding to know more about what was happening.
After a couple of minutes, another shot ran out and he yelled out for her, voice cracking as a scream echo’d loudly through the woods. She didn’t answer then and Natasha cursed loudly at the silence, the chopped sound echoing loudly through the tense plane. When they landed in the open meadow, Bucky launched himself though the dropped ramp, ignoring the poignant glare of Natasha as she tried to communicate a semblance of a plan. He didn’t care what she had to say right now, his thoughts only spiraling to Y/N laying dead in the snow while he stood around uselessly.
He hones in on her location before sprinting there, body shaking from the cold and overwhelming anxiety. He stops suddenly when he finds her, feet stumbling on nothing as his eyes graze over the blood pooling into the snow around her. Her face is pressed into the ground, fingers stuck clawing into the soil as she tried to crawl away. He stumbles once more and runs forwards, grasping onto her body as he turns her over, flinching at her pale, dry skin and chapped lips.
She hates her lips being chapped.
His finger presses tightly against her neck and tears steadily stream down his face. There’s the faintest heartbeat fluttering under his fingers and his heart soars at the revelation- the slightest bit of hope filling him. Her eyes flicker open slightly and the faintest whine escapes her lips, a crackling whimper that echoes loudly in his ears. He grasps at her face, blood from her wound smearing on the pristine skin there. She smiles a fraction and he chokes out a laugh as her hazy eyes focus on her figure.
He presses down harshly on the wound in her side, flinching as she wheezes at the pain, fingers grasping weakly on his wrist and she tries to push the intrusion away. He just presses tighter and reaches down, picking her up in his trembling arms.
“You’re gonna be okay, sweetheart…” She groans again as he presses her head into her neck, her barely noticeable breath tickling at the skin under his ear. “You’re going to be okay.” He chants this as he runs, a hand firmly holding onto her head and arm wrapped around her waist as she sobs loudly at the jostling movements. “It’s okay, it’s okay.”
There’s bodies piled around the ship when he arrives at the ramp, Natasha standing over them with a pistol grasped firmly in her hand. She gapes openly when she notices him before turning back around and preparing the jet for takeoff. The ramp closes loudly behind him as he sets her gently on the closest row of seats, grimacing at her now closed eyes and the blood pooling around her onto the black metal. Natasha comes back to him then, placing an arm on his shoulder as she hands him a first aid kit.
“We can’t do much more until we get back,” She sighs and swallows down her emotions, “I have to go back and watch the autopilot……keep me updated.” She walks up to Y/N, trailing her fingers light over her freezing arms before stopping and clenching a tight fist. She turns sharply and rushes back towards the cockpit, fighting the emotions welling her chest through painfully clenched teeth.
Bucky kneels next to her and opens the kit, gently wrapping her wounds tightly with gauze as he speaks to her, voice soft and quivering with worry. The cold is seeping back in now, clawing aggressively at his aching chest. Her presence does little to ease the ache, despite her laying right next to him- barely breathing. He presses a kiss to her forehead, lips lingering as they tremble against her pale skin.
“You’re going to be okay, sweetheart.”
~
Soft beeps echo through the room, echoing loudly in her head as she groans loudly, turning to run away from the intrusive sound. Lights flicker in and out from behind her eyelids, lighting up her bleak world with white and blue flashes. She peels them open, head and eyes reeling from the sterile, white lights piercing through her eyes. She shuts them again and turns her head further, reaching her hand up to cover her eyes from the pain.
“Y/N!?!”
Her eyes shoot open and she focuses on the sound, wincing as the light blinds her again. Something rests heavily against her face and she groans, reeling away from the intrusion as she tries to push it away.
“Sweetheart, it's okay! It’s me… it’s just me…” Her eyes flicker open and locks onto his steely blue gaze and her lip quivers when she sees them, voice cracking into a low whine. She breaks out into a sob then, memories of her near death washing over her like a tidal wave of pain. She thought she died earlier, only to wake up to the most beautiful sight on the planet. She shuts her eyes tightly, wincing in pain as sobs loudly wrack through her chest, echoing through the room in choked bursts.
“It’s okay… it’s okay,” He holds her head until she calms, whispering sweet words of affirmation and stroking her skin as she comprehends what happened to her. What almost happened to her.
“Y-you came back f-for me?”
“Of course! How is that even a question?” He leans forward and presses a kiss to her forehead, pouring all of his emotions into one small gesture, “I’ll always come back for you….. I love you”
She huffs and pulls his face down to hers, fingers stroking down his skin towards his metal arm, rubbing the cold of the metal away, “I love you too.” She kisses him then, tongue lightly pressing into his mouth as he returns it, grunting softly at the long awaited feeling of her lips against hers. The cold fades once more, now replaced by a steady hum of warmth as her skin presses against his. He’s more complete when she's around, and he will never let anyone hurt her again. She pulls back and smiles through the tears and the pain, utilizing the moment to get what she’s always wanted.
“Can I have date night now?”
“You can have as many date nights as you want, doll….:”
Summary: For Bucky, the early morning is usually a time for silence, strong coffee, and the familiar rhythm of keeping watch. It is a quiet, unspoken routine—he stays alert, and you stay safe. But one morning, the pattern shifts when he returns from his perimeter check not with a tactical report, but with a handful of wildflowers. In a moment that bridges his guarded past and a hopeful, domestic future, he fumbles to offer a small, vibrant piece of beauty to the one person who has helped him learn how to live again.
Bucky loved waking up early. The moments of peace he found while walking as the sun began to rise made even the horrible, jarring scream of the alarm worth it. It was a ritual of quiet reclamation—a daily reminder that he was no longer someone else’s weapon. He was, finally, a free man.
The dawn was usually a solitary affair, but today, the sight of a patch of wild, defiant snapdragons clinging to a rocky outcrop near the property line stopped him in his tracks. He didn’t know the names of half the things he saw out here, but these were vibrant, fragile, and utterly useless for anything other than looking at. They reminded him of you.
He kneeled. His metal hand, usually a source of violence, hovered over the stems. He moved with agonizing care, his synthetic nerves calibrated to avoid bruising the petals. He wasn't a man who dealt in bouquets, and as he walked back toward the compound, the handful of flowers felt more intimidating than any mission debrief he’d ever sat through.
He held his breath, his eyes narrowed in intense, just as if he was trying to defuse a bomb rather then gathering a gift. One by one, he pinched the stalks, tucking them into his hand with a gentleness that felt foreign and yet, the most honest and tender thing has done in years.
As he walked back toward the compound, the weight of the bouquet in his grip felt heavier than any weapon he’d ever carried. He wasn't a man who dealt in bouquets, and the simple, messy collection of snapdragons felt more intimidating than any mission debrief he’d ever sat through. He found himself slowing his pace, his eyes constantly scanning the bouquet, half-expecting the petals to wilt under the intensity of his gaze or the lingering heat of his metal palm.
When the compound finally came into view, the familiar gray concrete of the walls didn't look like a bunker anymore; it looked like the place where you were waiting. He adjusted his hold on the flowers, his synthetic fingers twitching with a nervous, rhythmic energy as he practiced how he would offer them, how he would explain her—or if he would say anything at all.
He reached the door and hesitated, his pulse drumming a frantic rhythm against his ribs that had nothing to do with combat or adrenaline. The compound was quiet, filled only with the rhythmic, comforting drip of the coffee maker and the soft hum of the refrigerator.
He pushed the door open, the floorboards offering a familiar, welcoming creak. You were already there, hair messy and eyes still heavy with sleep, leaning against the kitchen counter while you waited for the pot to finish. For a second, he just watched you- the girl that make him want to wake up in the mornings.
Bucky cleared his throat, the sound sharper than he intended in the morning stillness. You turned, a sleepy smile beginning to form, but it faltered as your gaze dropped to his hands. He was standing in the threshold, shoulders hunched up toward his ears, looking as though he’d been caught in a tactical error rather than an act of affection.
He held the bouquet out, his synthetic fingers trembling just enough to make the petals shiver. “They were… out by the fence,” he murmured, his voice a low, gravelly rasp. He refused to meet your eyes, focusing instead on the way the orange tips of the snapdragons caught the morning light. “Seemed like a waste, just leaving them out there in the dirt. So, I… I brought them back.”
You didn´t say anything as you walked towards him. Bucky felt a cold sweat track down his temple. Every muscle in his body was rigid, his posture was stiff enough to suggest he was prepared to retreat at the first sing of rejection.
As you closed the distance between you, he was barely breathing, his gaze fixed stubbornly on a spot just past your shoulder
His metal hand felt heavy, the synthetic servos humming with a low-frequency vibration that betrayed his internal panic. He felt exposed, stripped of his usual armor and defenses, offering up a handful of wildflowers like some sort of offering he didn't actually know how to give.
But as you reached him, you didn't reach for the flowers—not yet. Instead, you reached up, your hands framing his face, and pulled him down until his forehead rested against yours. The scent of coffee and morning warmth clung to you, a stark, beautiful contrast to the crisp, metallic smell of his own skin.
Bucky let out a shaky, broken exhale, his eyes fluttering shut as he finally let the tension bleed out of his frame. He felt your fingers curl into his hair, pulling him closer, and then you pressed your lips to his.
The kiss was soft, deliberate, and tasted like a silent promise. It wasn't the tentative, nervous thing he had braced himself for; it was an anchor, grounding him in the present. His metal hand, still clutching the snapdragons, slowly relaxed, the bouquet coming to rest safely against your chest as his human hand moved to settle firmly at your waist. For the first time in his life, he didn't feel like a man standing on the edge of a precipice, waiting to fall. He felt like a man who had finally, against all odds, found exactly where he belonged.
pairing: catws!bucky barnes x fem!reader, winter soldier x fem!reader | 2.5k+
summary: Nothing in life is perfect. You know this to be a fact. Working hard to maintain the stability in your life becomes a vain effort when you end up in the wrong place at the wrong time. Being thrust into the world of super soldiers and assassins is nothing close to what you wanted. But, people don't always get what they ask for.
series warnings: canon level violence, minor character deaths, mental health struggles, kidnapping, physical injuries, crude language (lmk if you spot anything I missed)
a/n: if you want to be added to the taglist, let me know in the comments or with a dm <3
read on AO3
series status: ongoing
part one
part two
part three
part four
part five
part six
part seven
part eight (in progress)
part nine
series taglist: @n1ght-mares-from-h3ll, @momdancingtomcr
someone's calling my name (sounds like you) by @mellowsaturns
Lustful Agony by @fatecantstopme
Making Time by @jobean12-blog
guilty as sin? masterlist by @thetorturedbuckydepartment
Only in Vegas by @lanabuckybarnes
Something New by @beanthesprout
i can't do this anymore by @wwilsonbarness
icarus by @marvellous1917
bucky's bimbo babe by @f10werfae
Singledad!bucky x singlemom!reader by @becca-e-barnes
Starved by @buckybabieboy
Let Me by @touchstarvedirl
Big Boy by @goodgirlofglory
heartbeats by @onceuponastory
bucky minds wanders when looking at you by @im-ovulating
Fugacious Pleasure by @transparentpeacementality-deact
Sharing is Caring by @theidiotwhowritesthings
dead of night by @bucksfucks
Goddamn, Manchild by @godmadeaterribleerror
Anesthesia hazeˎˊ˗ by @w1nter-fairy
Bygone(masterlist) by @borntobewondering
take me home. by @miserable-sarah
on his knees by @sweetsweetnuit
uncle buck masterlist by @enchantedbarnes
operation get mr.bucky and momma together by @golden-barnes
beefy!bucky being drunk by @infictionalwonderland
trainer!bucky and reader by @boxofbonesfic
relax by @sacredsorceress
raw by @buckysboobs
missed you. by @stuckylaufeyson
all things pink by @bucky-barnes-diaries
toxic & jealous by @sweetsweetnuit
confessions by @mickimoo1409
Perfect Doll by @itsjustmelainey
wanderlust by @pascalions
comfortable by @nastybuckybarnes
closer by @tom-holland-parker
things more intimate than sex by @hopelessromantic423
by @lacroixwh0r3
watch me, touch me → part two
by @softevnstan ↓
reader catching bucking masturbating
bucky cums first
by @bonky-n-steeb-deactiveated202508 ↓
honey, there is no right way
make you mine
by @assembletheimagines ↓
Tell Me
show you
by @buckybabesonly ↓
I Wanna Be Yours
Dirty Litte Confession
Nothing breaks like a heart
by @angrythingstarlight ↓
Oh His Shoulders
Baker!Bucky
Wrapped Around Him
the perfect place to sit
baker!bucky and his peach
double stuffed
mafia!boss blurb
coffee. emergency.thighs
by @hannibals-favourite-meal ↓
.⋆｡Instant Family｡⋆.
.⋆｡Absolutely Perfect｡⋆.
by @kinanabinks ↓
Jealousy & Flirtation Masterlist
A Good Plowin'
Not for Me
Special girl.
by @navybrat817 ↓
Knock You Down a Peg or Two
the day after
by @buckyalpine ↓
just a taste
still mine
FWB situation with BestestFriend!BuckyxAvenger!Reader
want you
sweet dreams
nightmare comfort
work wife
afraid of being to close
pairing: catws!bucky barnes x fem!reader, winter soldier x fem!reader | 3.2k+
summary: Nothing in life is perfect. You know this to be a fact. Working hard to maintain the stability in your life becomes a vain effort when you end up in the wrong place at the wrong time. Being thrust into the world of super soldiers and assassins is nothing close to what you wanted. But, people don't always get what they ask for.
series warnings: cannon level violence, minor character deaths, mental health struggles, kidnapping, physical injuries, crude language (lmk if you spot anything I missed)
dividers by @/saradika-graphics
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read on AO3
Time had a funny way of going slow one moment and then fast the next.
You remained rooted in place, watching everything happen so quickly around you. Metal Man – Bucky was racing around your room, shoving things into a backpack he had grabbed from your closet before going to the bathroom where you heard him rummaging around, probably packing what he deemed necessary.
You moved your gaze from the bathroom to the unconscious man laying on the floor next to you. His face was now marred by a giant bruise that was forming where Bucky had hit him with the butt of his gun. The flesh was angry with blood and muscles underneath the skin already swelling.
A movement in the corner of your eye pulled your attention back to Bucky who was walking towards you with very serious expression and your backpack in his metal hand. He stopped when he was a step away from you and scanned your face, trying to gather information from the expression on your face. You honestly had no idea what you looked like at the moment and could only guess that he was seeing you shellshocked, yet again.
“We need to move,” he said after a moment, handing you the backpack before stepping over the body on the floor and heading for the front door.
“Bucky?”
You leaned around Metal Man’s arm to see Steve Rogers standing in your doorway with a bag of what looked to be take-out in one of his hands and Sam’s keys to your place in the other which was around the doorknob. The blonde super soldier stood frozen in his boots, staring at his best friend who doesn’t have any of the memories - or peace - that he does. Steve had briefly described their relationship from before the war that day you escaped and made it home and from what he said, they had been through almost everything together. School, the Depression, deaths of parents, and even war.
It hurt your heart and head to think of what the two men must be feeling now. You could see yourself and Sam in their shoes. Granted, you and Sam weren’t childhood friends, but he had seen you at your best and your worst. You had also seen Sam at his best and worst and knew that you would do anything for him. If you were in Steve’s shoes and Sam didn’t remember you fully, you were pretty sure you would crumble on the spot.
Metal Man leaned to cover your body, as if sensing you had moved.
Steve, seeing that Bucky was in survival mode, moved into the apartment slowly and dropped the contents in his hands to the floor after his foot closed the door.
The movements made Metal Man flex his fingers on the gun and he followed the other man with the barrel, keeping him in the line of fire the entire time. You grabbed the back of his shirt to try and pull his arm down as the sight of someone holding a gun aimed at Captain America was unsettling. As soon as he felt your grip, Metal Man pushed your arm off him with his flesh hand, and you immediately remembered that this was a man who was prone to violence.
What were you thinking? He is clearly not in his right mind. Thank God he didn’t turn the gun on you.
“Are you alright?” Steve questioned in a calm tone after calling your name. “Sam sent me to check on you.”
You didn’t know how to answer the question presented to you. On one hand, you were feeling more like yourself than the ghost you were the past few days. Adrenaline had really brought you back to yourself. On the other hand, you found yourself feeling trapped again as Metal Man essentially walled you off from the outside world with his stance. Those, mixed with the wanning hope you had for having a normal life once more, left you stumped and confused as to communicate your current state. But more than anything, you just wanted everyone to step back from the ledge it felt you were on and take a deep breath.
“I’m fine,” is what ended up coming out of your mouth instead of the jumble of your thoughts. You rationalized to yourself that it was better to placate the lethal assassin between you and Steve if you wanted this situation to change.
“Are you sure –”
A near silent grumble emanated from the brunette man’s chest that was blocking your view of the blonde man. It seemed your uninvited guest wasn’t thrilled that your apartment had been compromised by another uninvited guest. What’s going to happen if Metal Man snaps and shoots Captain America in the middle of your apartment? you questioned yourself. You didn’t need to end up on the local news. Your mother would demand you move in with her immediately if she didn’t have a stroke upon hearing the news headlines.
“I’m okay,” you reassured, doing your best to keep your voice level while peeking your head out to look at him. “I think you should go, Steve.”
“I can’t do that,” he said as he turned his gaze to the man in front of you. There was a silence that encased the apartment for a moment. It was so tense that you couldn’t seem to inhale properly in fear of making Metal Man’s nerves fry from the overstimulation he was going through.
“You were the one who pulled me from the river,” Steve said as he put his hands up in the air to show his former friend that he meant no harm. Metal Man didn’t ease his grip on the gun or relax his posture. He looked like he was braced for a fight, and you could feel your heartbeat catch in your throat as the severity of the situation started to solidify in your mind.
“Do you remember pulling me from the river?” the blonde pressed gently.
Metal Man gave a singular nod of his head in confirmation. It seemed robotic and as if he was fighting an internal battle just to answer the man in front of him.
“Do you know me?”
This time Metal Man remained motionless.
“I used to be much smaller than this,” Steve said with the slightest tinge of desperation leaking into his tone. Perhaps he was trying to bring some memories back to his former friend’s brain, but the man who put himself in front of you had no recollection from what you gathered from your limited interactions. That’s what he was pressing you to help him with right before Captain America came in through your front door. He just wanted to remember who he was other than a trigger. “Do you remember how we used to sneak pastries from the bakery on the corner of your block when we were kids?”
Metal Man’s hand that wasn’t holding the gun started to shake slightly. You also noticed the smallest wince run across his shoulders. Feeling his anxiety start to build, you could sense your own sky rocketing as if they were intertwined.
“Do you remember buying newspaper to stuff in my shoes so we could ride the Cyclone?”
The shake in Metal Man’s hands started to become more noticeable and you could practically feel all his anxiety manifest into nervous twitches that seemed to go down the muscles by his spine. You’d been around enough soldiers to know that they shouldn’t be pushed farther than they can handle in tense situations. This situation was more than tense.
“Steve,” you murmured, trying to get the blonde’s attention.
You knew your words were useless when you peered around Metal Man’s shoulder and saw his face. The way he was looking at the man in front of you reminded you of your brother’s face when he told you the news about Riley. The clash of denial of what happened and the boyish hope of it all being a rouse. It was written so clearly across Steve’s features. And what could you expect of him? He had been a man lost in time and now his best friend was standing in front of him; except Metal Man didn’t remember most or any of their past. You didn’t know what you were supposed to do, but you knew that everyone’s emotions and thoughts were in different places.
Steve was holding out for his friend and not thinking logically, but with his heart.
Metal Man was entering survival mode from what you could gather from only seeing his back.
And you were losing hope of going back to a normal life and thinking of how to dissolve the situation unfolding in front of you.
Before you could murmur the super soldier’s name again in warning, you could see the man in front of you preparing himself for a fight. You saw how his muscles tensed and then relaxed into a position that radiated strength. The hand by his side ceased shaking after clenching it into a fist. You could see his shoulders rise and lower as he took bigger breaths in to help steady him.
“Do you remember anything?” Steve asked. His tone of voice wasn’t as strong as you had previously heard in your brief interactions with the soldier.
The next few moments seemed to stretch on forever.
Without warning, Metal Man launched into action. He rushed Steve and was able to capture the blonde in some sort of head lock using the art of surprise and pretending to lunge for the right side before pivoting quickly to the left and grabbing the other soldier. You watched in silent horror as Steve’s eyes flitted around to look for a weapon for a brief moment before Metal Man brought the but of his gun down on to his former friend’s face repeatedly until his body slumped to the floor.
The former assassin let the body in his hold drop to the floor before locking eyes with you.
“We need to leave.”
“We?” you squeaked. “We who?”
The growl from Metal Man told you that he wasn’t messing around. You had to figure out how to get him out of here without you.
“Look, I showed you how to Google yourself,” you explained. “You agreed to leave me alone if I helped you.”
“Not enough.”
The same words he had used earlier sounded less forgiving this time. There was still a look of uncertainty in his eyes, but there was also fierce determination bleeding into his features.
“I can’t do any more than that,” you defended.
Metal Man stepped over the body of Captain America and slowly walked towards you while putting the gun back in the waistband on his pants. You stood frozen where you were, too busy trying to think about how to get him out of the door without you following him.
“We need to leave.”
“No! No, I refuse to leave,” you said, feeling like a petulant child as your brain came up empty and you could sense you losing your footing in this argument. There was no way you were going to hold your own against the mountain of a man in front of you.
His flesh hand reached out and grabbed your bicep, giving it a firm shake. His blue eyes were full of the determination you saw earlier and his jaw was clenched in irritation. “You are coming with me.”
Frustrated tears started to well up in your eyes. A small part of you knew that you were probably going to end up folding to his demand so you could stay on his good side, but you didn’t want to lose your backbone. If you were going to go with him, you had to know why it was yourself in this situation and not anyone else.
“Why me?” you asked as a tear slipped from the corner of your eye.
Metal Man tightened his hold on your bicep slightly, but his eyes seemed to soften the smallest bit as he looked down at you. Your heart pounded in your chest and you could feel a ringing start to echo in your ears as the adrenaline from earlier started to drain from your body.
“Back at the bank. You asked me to save the screaming man,” he said as if that was sufficient for an explanation.
“What does that have to do with this? With me?”
“I was the screaming man. They wiped me before the SHEILD takeover,” he explained like it was common knowledge.
The sound of his screams echoing inside of the abandoned bank joined the ringing in your head and you felt overwhelmed with the recollection. How could this heaping man in front of you be the one who was screaming in pain and distress? And what did he mean by “wipe”?
Seeing your confusion, he released his grip on your arm and leaned back from your space. “You asked me to save the screaming man. But I need your help to save hi— help me.”
Your mouth fell open slightly at the words that fell from his lips. Nothing came from them as your brain was trying to catch up with all the information just shared while also trying to handle your impending departure with Metal Man. As if he could sense that his words had thrown a wrench in your thought process, he gave you a once over before going into your bedroom, leaving you in favor of whatever could require his attention in your bedroom.
When his form disappeared, you turned your head and slowly walked towards the body still crumpled on the floor of your apartment. There, the man who was Captain America, your best friend’s new friend, was lying still on the floor next to you. His face that had just healed two days ago from all his wounds from the fight at SHEILD Headquarters was marred once again by the same man who he said had given him his earlier ones.
That’s how you found yourself in the present moment, hands shaking as you looked at the backpack in your hands, wondering what you were supposed to do now. You couldn’t just leave. You had a business to run, your mother, and Sam. You couldn’t just leave your whole life behind for a troubled assassin, could you?
“We need to move,” he repeated as he grabbed your upper arm once again, this time more lightly than before.
“My whole life is here,” you murmured before drawing your gaze to his face. “I can’t just leave.”
Bucky exhaled through his nose loudly before letting go of your arm. “I’m a fugitive and if the government finds you here, your life is as good as over for harboring me.”
“But, I wasn’t harb—”
He cut you off quickly. “That’s how they’ll see it. So, we need to move, now.”
“What about my business or my mom?” you scrambled, looking to see if you could find any empathy in his eyes. But they were still those determined blue orbs and they didn’t seem to be wavering. “I can’t just up and leave.”
“You don’t understand,” he bit out. “We need to leave, now.”
Scrambling, you tried to think of a way to put contingencies in place so you could still feel like your life wasn’t going to be in shambles after this. “Let me leave notes for my business manager and my mom.”
“Too long,” he grit. You could see that he was getting close to the end of his rope and you didn’t want to deal with the fallout if he were to snap. But a bigger part of you needed to leave something for the last living family member you had. After all that had happened in your lives, you couldn’t just leave her to deal with your disappearance. It would break her beyond words and you couldn’t live with yourself knowing that you completely broke and abandoned your mother.
“Please,” you pleaded. “If they think that I’m on a trip, the government won’t be notified that I’m missing. Please, this will give us more time to go wherever.” By the end of your plea, your offer sounded more like a question than something that was important to you. You hoped that Bucky would see how distressing this was for you and just concede to this one point.
As if the universe was granting you a wish amongst the madness, he squeezed his eyes together in annoyance before he gave a curt nod. “You have five minutes, and then we are leaving. No exceptions.”
Even though you wanted to think about what you were going to say to your mother and to Beth, you forced your body to move to the kitchen where you pulled out a pen and notepad from one of the drawers. You threw the pad on the counter and ripped off two pieces of paper before quickly writing notes. The one to Beth was short and to the point. You told her you would still be out of the office for the unforeseeable future and that you left all business responsibilities to her before ending the note with a thank you which you hope conveyed your sorrow for shoving this all on her shoulders. You paused when you got to the next note. What were you going to say to your mom to make it believable that you would be gone for a while?
“Two minutes,” Bucky’s voice cut off your thoughts with a time update. You sent him a look that was not too pleased before turning back to the paper and quickly explaining that you were going on some wellness retreat to try and get your mind off of everything. A past counselor had offered the suggestion to you years ago and it seemed like a good enough excuse now. Your mother wouldn’t be happy that you just up and left, but she wouldn’t question it too much.
Once you were done writing the notes, you folded them up and turned to Bucky who had yet to take his eyes off you.
“Okay, I just have to deliver these and then we can go,” you said. Before he could grumble and groan about the inconvenience, you spoke up. “Please. This is to give us more time to go wherever you have in mind.”
His shoulders tensed as he thought about how your request would fit into his desperate need to flee. To sway him to allow your request, you picked up the backpack he handed you earlier and slung it over your shoulder before moving closer to where he was at the door.
“Please,” you asked one last time.
“Fine,” he finally said before grabbing your hand and dragging you behind him as he left your apartment. As you followed behind him, you sent out a prayer to whatever beings were listening.
You plead that your mother and Beth would be understanding.
You prayed that you could eventually come back to your life.
You hoped that Sam would forgive you for disappearing again.
You needed this to work out for your own piece of mind and sanity.
a/n: from here, we are going to depart from the actual timeline of events between catws and cacw. the rest of the story will follow the general premise of the events, but certain things will be different from the cannon storyline. thanks for reading! comments and reblogs are always appreciated <3
here's a list of stories i've read this month and i just wanted to show some love to these amazing pieces of cliterature and the wonderful people who wrote them <3
you make loving fun by @buckytakethewheel
something new by @bees-library3
limerence by @little-miss-dilf-lover
florists want flowers, too by @aquaticmercy
sweet relief by @mcrdvcks
cowboys always find a way to leave by @heldbybarnes
one more night by @buckybossanova
hot blooded by @stanmarvelous
distance series by @groubee
thank you to the authors once again for their wonderful creations. i hope you enjoy them as much as i did <3
