Hello again, my dear, faithful and wonderful readers.
I know my last A/N must have shocked and upset many of you and I apologize. I shouldn't have allowed a few haters to bring me down even if I am a very sensitive person. It's not like I haven't received flames before or that my stories haven't been criticized before, but the thought that there is an actual web page that is centered on just hating my writing is what really devastated me.
The reason that I decided to delete the story was because I was going through a difficult time. I came down with the flu and was stuck in bed for a whole week. I missed the first three days of class for the new semester (my last semester as an undergrad) and am already behind in schoolwork. Because I was sick, I couldn't go to work, so I have to limit my spending for a while. And I kept getting bad news after bad news—things that I won't bother you guys with. Yesterday was the first day I stumbled out of bed and went outside, and despite everybody else's protests, I decided to go to school. I should've listened to them, I only got worse. To top it all off, I get home and see that anonymous reviewer telling me that their opinion of my story is exactly what it's said on that link and to read it. Curious, I went to that webpage and noticed that it bashed my story (plus the fact that I haven't received much feedback since the wedding night chapter) and everything just came crashing down. It just came to the point where I wanted to throw everything away and forget about it so I wouldn't have to deal with any more negativity. My feelings were hurt as was my confidence in my writing. So I came to the hasty decision of writing the A/N to tell you I was giving up and was deleting the story. I was in too much pain, both physically and emotionally. I couldn't think straight. Couldn't see anything good, anything positive. Then I took some medicine and fell asleep in hopes that not only would I feel better physically the next day, but emotionally as well. Today I woke up feeling depressed and even more physically tired than usual, so I decided to go to the doctor again. After getting scolded for not eating right and resting, and etc. (like doctors usually tend to do), I returned home and fell asleep again. After I woke up, I avoided my computer like the plague. All I could think about where the negative comments. But after a long debate with myself, I decided to open up my email.
I was astounded with the response I got from you guys at the thought of deleting my story. I wish I could responded to all of you, but there are just too many, and being sick and all doesn't give me much strength to type. So I wrote this new A/N for everyone to read.
I read every single review and every single PM, asking me not to stop and delete my story, defending me against those "assholes, jerks, SOB's, and haters" that "probably have never written anything in their life", and reassuring me that my story is very much loved. And like some of you reminded me "Zuko's motto is 'Never give up without a fight.'" I was moved by those reviewers that wrote to me telling me that my story has motivated them to write their own fanfiction, or that MHBFY converted them into fervent Zutara shippers. I was touched by those who gave me a piece of their personal life and told me that because of my story, I was able to give them happiness in a time when they needed it the most. I could not help but cry, and laugh, and cry some more, and smile in gratitude for your words.
All of you are right. I shouldn't let something like that bring me down. It is selfish and cowardly of me for allowing them to make me think that deleting my story is for the best. I shouldn't let the hateful words of a few people destroy what I have created. Like many of you said, many famous writers, composers and artists have had their fair share of haters and critiques and yet they continued to do what they loved best. I know I can't please everybody. I know my grammar is horrible. I know my story is not the best one out there. I know that the beginning of this story especially is not that great (though my excuse is that I was much younger and less experienced in writing). I should ignore their words and "grow a backbone" like some of you so helpfully told me. I know I should only care about what I think and about those who do enjoy this story. I shouldn't care what the haters say when I have such wonderful readers as yourselves that really do love and appreciate my story and the great effort I put into it. I love to read how you enjoy the way I portray Zuko and Katara's relationship.
I especially want to thank AnnaAza for posting on her tumblr in my defense and to all of you amazing people who did the same. I also want to thank that person who wrote the bashing webpage because, although it was hurtful, they let me realize the great amount of people who support me. And I also thank this person for apologizing to me.
So this is my decision that many of you must be eager to know:
I will NOT delete 'My Heart Burns for You' and will continue with this story until the very end, no matter how long that is. You, my wonderful readers, really motivate me to continue writing because it is what I love to do. I will not give those haters the satisfaction of thinking they have beat me. I admit that I'm still a little hurt and my pride is still a little bruised, so I've decide to take some time off to gather my confidence in my writing once again before I write a new chapter. I will continue writing MHBFY for those who DO enjoy reading it despite its many flaws.
So thank you. Thank you all for the encouraging words, for the motivational phrases, for the pleas and begging, for the love and praise, and even for the well-deserved scolding.
Thank you, with much love,
~alwaysZutarian
She is back, and I applaud her! I want to take an opportunity for those who took a small stand with me here on tumblr, whether it was liking my anger-fueled post or reblogging it with equally passionate responses. AlwaysZutarian has strength, devoted fans, and a gracious personality. Although I do not personally know her, I want to congratulate her for picking herself up and, thankfully, continuing her first, long work that has converted and impassioned fans, Zutara shippers or not. Thanks, again, to everyone who supported this author. Anyone who did so has a generous, kind heart and is standing firmly against victimizing and putting down others. Many of us, including myself, have been verbally battered, but by aiding those in need, we can create a stronger, more caring future. Thank you all, and congratulations to alwaysZutarian!
