contents and warnings: angst (past and present), hurt/comfort, amnesia, mentally a child!janus, patton has too much guilt to be healthy, flower crowns, food mention,
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Roman slowly approached the open inviting door of Patton's room, which considering the circumstances that he was there for, didn't seem that inviting. After a moment or so he knocked on the wall to warn Patton he was there.
And Patton, who had been on the floor possibly scrapbooking, definitely making a mess, turned around quickly at the noise before he smiled at him
“Hey Ro!” He greeted with a grin, waving roman over to him.
Roman offered him a small, slightly strained smile in return “hey Padre,” he greeted in return before going “pat you might wanna sit down because something... kind of happened.”
Pattons happy smile shifted into a concerned one as he started talking again “okay I’m already sitting, but what happened?”
Roman nervously rubbed his neck, while he had volunteered to go tell Patton the night earlier he had not accounted for how awkward it would be to tell people something he didn’t fully know about, actually he was pretty sure he would still feel awkward even if he knew every single detail. “okay, so, apparently Janus.. went into the imagination, and something happened, we- logan and me, think he got attacked or hit his head or something, and umm well logan kind of confirmed he has amnesia..” he chewed the inside of his lip nervously, a bad habit he had picked up from Virgil a long while back.
Patton opened and closed his mouth several times, trying to process that and trying to find the right words before simply going “is he okay?”
Roman nodded “yeah, well he’s the best he can be. When I left, him and Logan were competing on who could complete a rubix cube the fastest, I’m pretty sure Logan was even letting him win,” he smiled to himself, and Patton couldn't help the small smile at that mental image either “it's kind of adorable actually.” Roman trailed off, eventually he remembered that there’s still one, very important last thing he should tell Patton “okay also, specs said Janus is mentally a child of some verity, we still don’t know exactly how mentally old he is but we know he doesn’t remember king splitting and anything more recent than that.”
Patton made a sympathetic noise “poor thing…” he trailed off, it would be bad enough if Janus had to deal with amnesia but Janus in the mindset of a child.. children shouldn’t have to deal with the aftermath of amnesia or loss (especially twice in the loss subject.)
Roman nodded crestfallen as the image of Janus sobbing into his chest burned itself into his memory “yeah..” he agreed, Roman may have been kind of upset at Janus for the POF disaster but.. he didn’t deserve anything that happened in the last 24 hours.
After a bit it was clear Patton wasn’t going back to his scrapbooking so Roman sat down on the floor with him, doing what he and Logan did with Janus and just not leaving him alone after unleashing a bunch of stuff he had to process.
After another long stretch of silence Patton looked over to Roman “hey, ro.. do you think I’d be able check up on him?” He asked, he wanted Janus to know he cared enough to go and see him when something bad happened.
Roman hummed “probably, I mean it’s not really my decision but I’m sure he’d be happy to see you from what Logan told me, so yeah we can go see!” He told him before continuing “oh also if he wants to hang out or is just fine with hanging out you can go to bring him somewhere else if you want, because i’m pretty it'll be kinda boring otherwise.”
Patton smiled fondly, and with a nod he got up and helped Roman up with him, and after a moment of just standing there Roman realized Patton didn’t know where Janus even was because he accidentally excluded that information, even when it would make sense to share it, the closest thing he said to a location was that logan knew about Janus as well, and that was why he was awkwardly standing around so he just took Patton's hand in his own and pulled them into the hallway and headed to logan's room.
Once they had passed the kitchen Patton paused though, stopping them both dead in their tracks, before simply asking “have you guys eaten yet?”
Roman laughed awkwardly and nervously rubbed his neck again, trying his best to avoid eye contact,
That was enough of an answer for Patton so he just sighed fondly before popping into the kitchen and beginning to cook food for everyone, once he was done he made sure to leave an extra two plates in the fridge, though it would be a wonder if Remus actually ended up eating his and didn’t just use it for an ‘art project.’
_____
Janus looked up from where he was sitting on the floor watching tv almost the very second the door opened, Expecting Roman since he disappeared a bit before, so the moment he did catch a glance he gave the smallest, happy little smile as he began waving, and received a wave from Roman in return,
Morality entering right behind Roman was a surprise though.
He offered another wave, because he liked Morality, He was nice, Morality once gave him one of his stuffies when Janus was sick, so he liked him.
After a moment Janus just settled back into his spot as Patton came over to him and handed him breakfast, Janus offered him a brief thankful smile to be polite because that's what Thomas's parents said to do before beginning to turn his attention back to the tv.
Patton was happy Janus seemed relatively content but he didn’t know how to ask to hang out with him, if he ever had a plan he had forgotten it the second he stepped into the room.
After a couple awkward moments he just took a breath and settled down before turning his attention to Janus and asking “hey would I be able to hang out with you for a little bit?”
Janus turned to him and nodded, simply going “‘Kay” and continuing to do as he did prior, now just with the acknowledgment of Patton's presence, Patton couldn't help but smile as he settled fully onto the floor, sitting criss-cross applesauce against the bedside, passively waiting for Janus to be done with his food and initiate a conversation, Patton knew sometimes there were days where people were less talkative so he didn’t wanna force him to talk if he wasn’t in the mood.
After a while passed and everyone had eaten, Janus did end up speaking up, asking simply “how are you?”
Patton smiled at him “I’m doing fine kiddo, how are you?” He asked in response, honestly he wasn’t the finest. He was nervous and still feeling guilty from everything that went down because of the wedding and the fact he had treated Janus so badly, hell he’d treated Remus badly too! He had been so mean to everyone.
Janus hummed in thought before simply going “‘m fine too,” which was only partially a lie, and he had a very tiring day the day before so he got to lie about how mentally drained he was, and hey he was fine for the most part, Roman and logic were being very nice and he had been able to just hang out watching tv while Logic worked and he liked doing that, it was some much needed calm,
Patton offered another smile as he tried thinking of what to say; after another awkward silence he decided To just warmly go “hey kiddo would you want to go explore? And if so do you have any specific places you wanna hang out at?”
Janus pinched his chin in a very exaggerated thinking pose that would make logan proud before just going “sure! and i don’t really mind anywhere really! Well- as long as there aren't horses there, they’re mean,” he told him, before continuing “they hate me and I hate them, it’s a mutually understood hatred.”
Patton didn’t have Time to unpack all of that so he just chuckled and nodded like he understood and didn’t have a million questions on why Janus hated every Horse in existence and just how they all hated him back- so instead of thinking about that he took a moment to think on where he should go with janus, not really knowing where janus would genuinely want to go, before remembering a certain interest Janus used to have that Patton distinctly remembered king showing off whenever he could, so after not much of a second thought he just smiled and asked “would you wanna hang out with me in Roman’s meadow? It’s really pretty there and hey we could even make flower crowns-“
The moment the words left his mouth Janus practically had stars in his eyes, he looked like a steven universe character as he excitedly gasped before nodding vigorously “yes please!” He chirped excitedly.
Patton once again smiled, and contained a soft chuckle at how happy Janus looked, he looked like when you tell a child ‘actually yeah why don't you pick out a candy’ when going to the store, he looked.. childish, and Patton thinks that’s good, if he’s in the mindset of younger Janus, Patton doesn’t think it would be good if Janus started acting like normal Janus right now.
After a bit of Janus just being excited it finally crossed his mind that the reason Patton’s not getting up to go is because he’s waiting for him to say he’s ready, so he bounces up and after a short confused look that’s quickly replaced with a smile Janus helps Patton up to the best of his ability and then it’s Janus’s turn to wait because he doesn’t know where anything is, he doesn't even know how he got to Logan's room, all he remembers is crying a bit and then waking up under a soft blanket on Logan’s bed.
Luckily for Janus, Patton took no time to shoot a wave to Roman and Logan before going “I’ll be back soon, don’t worry I’ll keep him safe” and then presenting his hand for Janus and once their hands are linked Patton headed to the nearest imagination entrance.
_____
The moment Janus could see the archway with the absolutely beautiful meadow covered with all kinds of wildflowers and overgrown green grass just beyond it he ran out into it without a moment's hesitation.
Patton followed him with a smile playing on his lip, and a chuckle following in suit as Janus twirled himself around into a soft patch of grass and promptly fell face first into the blanketed earth, after a moment Janus just smiled hugely and began happily laughing as he turned over so he could face the sky.
(And Patton tried his best to not think about how he had kind of outcasted this side, this side who with just the mention of flowers or flower crowns was almost bouncing with excitement, this side who viewed him as a friend, this side who really did want the best for Thomas. And instead he tried to focus on the fact he was trying to repair it, and the fact that Janus was practically elated as he began his best attempt at rolling around in the grass and flowers, which counted for something, at least it meant he chose a good place to hang out with Janus,) so he just smiled and sat down next to Janus,
And after a moment he picked a small yellow flower and offered it to Janus, cuasing Janus to beam at him as he took it before he began picking others around him and weaving them into a crown with it.
And After a moment Patton just slowly went “I have to admit, I have no idea how to make flower crowns,”
Janus looked over at him with a reassuring smile before he replied “that’s okay, don’t worry! That just means I can teach you!” he said as he grabbed more flowers and started a new crown and while making sure Patton was paying attention, weaving them together slowly to see if that was all Patton needed to learn or if he needed actual instructions like he did when creativity was trying to teach him to crochet.
Patton tried his hand at it after he grabbed a handful of flowers and slowly tried to replicate what Janus did, and after a bit and some trial and error he was successful, Which caused both Janus and Patton to cheer because he Did it!
“You did it!! You did super super well too!” Janus congratulated him excitedly, and he decided he liked teaching, he felt super proud, he understood now why Logic liked it so much now (despite not really actually teaching.)
“Thanks!” Patton grinned, and after a minute they both started doing their own things, Patton trying to make another flower crown to get the gist of it down to memory, and Janus.. Doing something, he wasn't entirely sure what.
Though soon the peaceful happy mood shifted for Patton, it wasn't that anything really happened, actually it might've been because nothing happened, because it was quiet enough to allow Patton to begin thinking, and normally thinking was a good thing, but recently every time he began thinking all he could think about was how wrong he'd been and how much he'd failed- so the more time went on the more sorrowful he became and the more the small smile that had been left from the little mini celebration dwindled.
After awhile of the two just sitting in silence the thoughts got louder and louder, them all just echoing in his head until they got loud enough to voice themselves, much to the chagrin of Patton, who would prefer having a choice of whether his insecurities and regrets got out, and if they did get out he would prefer to tell them to someone who hasn't literally just been through a traumatic experience, “I’m sorry- I’m sorry I misjudged you and was mean- I’m so sorry I was so awful to you- I’m so so sorry” he practically word-vomited. the words coming out a mile a minute, and because of that he was able to make it become more mumbly a little after the second ‘sorry’, which was lucky for him as he wanted it to be as inaudible as possible so Janus didn't have to actually understand his little guilt-ridden ramble, which didn't work completely but he tried, because he didn’t want to let his guilt get in the way of hanging out with Janus, Janus quite honestly should not have to deal with that at the moment, he should get to have a happy fun day, since he was already dealing with so much, if he did even tell him he wanted to tell him after his memory returned.
Janus was silent for a couple moments, quite honestly he was so confused, he didn’t know what Patton meant and even if he did it was so abrupt it left Janus quite literally stunned, but after an uncomfortably silent minute or so he tried to defend Patton “I don’t know what your talking about.. but I’m sure you weren’t mean! And if you were you probably had a good reason for it, I know you! You wouldn’t be mean if you didn’t have a good reason!” He told him insistently.
Patton.. really wished that were true, he had a good reason on paper but in reality not so much, he wanted to keep Thomas safe, and somehow his view of Janus had changed throughout the years to view him as a danger, despite him knowing Janus, well he didn’t know his name till recently but he knew Janus. but regardless of that somehow he started thinking Janus was evil, and then he had mistreated him, not hearing him out even when Janus was probably the expert on the situation. “dee.. I know you don’t remember it but I really was super super mean! and I misjudged you and I most definitely ended up hurting you and you didn’t deserve any of it! and I’m so sorry I’m just.. so so sor-“ Patton was cut off abruptly as Janus hugged him,
“You probably had your reasons,” he said once again, much more insistent, and patton couldn't help but wonder, had Janus always seen the best in people? And when did he stop? “-and whatever they were I’ll probably forgive you for them! I mean I honestly don’t remember what you're talking about so it might be... a bit before I fully forgive you when I got all the memories and stuff back but- no matter what,” he pulled out of the hug just to be able to look into Morality’s eyes, trying to look stern, which for once, didn't really work. “you deserve a second chance.” He told him firmly, and after another moment he continued “and I’m certain we’ll be friends! I promise I’ll stand by you when I’m all memory-y again, promise!” He grinned and plopped his now suddenly and magically finished flower crown onto Morality’s head.
Patton smiled sadly at him, “okay, and.. Thank you,” he said, leaving what he was thanking him for blank, and honestly he was still feeling extremely guilty because despite everything and Janus not really knowing what he meant he still comforted him to the best of his abilities, and really how could he think Janus was evil, how could he, roman and Logan dismiss him so easily? never inviting him to the table, and pretty much just ignoring his existence to Thomas. later when everything was normaller Patton needed to have a sit down discussion with Janus and Remus because he needed to make sure they were starting to be listened too, and that they knew they would be, however though currently he needed to focus on Janus, because Patton brought him here to have a good day and while he thinks since it's been maybe a bit more than a hour, and eventually it'll get boring, he still wants him to have a good day.
So he adjusted the flower crown to be more comfortable on his head before he slipped right into his happy façade which luckily Janus, who was trying to make a little cave out of the tall overgrown grass, didn't seem to question “so kiddo! After maybe a half hour more out here would you wanna go inside and watch a show or movie? I can make popcorn!” (-and now that Patton was paying attention did Janus look that young before?)
Janus perked up like a sunflower and nodded “mhmm! sure! What would you wanna watch?”
Patton Smiled “I don't really care, i'll be fine with whatever you wanna watch kiddo,”
Janus seemed to think about it before going “can we watch kiki’s delivery service..? Oh! And can we have skittles too?”
Patton smiled once again. “of course! When we get inside I’ll set it all up!”
Janus’s eyes lit up brightly before he murmured an excited thank you and tried to hurry and begin distracting himself so he wouldn’t feel like he was waiting and time would pass quicker and a minute wouldn't feel like an hour also he needed to focus on making that last crown anyway since he had already made one for Logic and he needed to make one for Roman.
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A couple hours later Logan and Roman got curious as to where the two went and discovered Patton and Janus dead asleep, Janus pretty much curled up into a ball against Patton's side, Janus’s normally small form somehow slightly smaller, as Patton's arm snaked around his side almost protectively, with the Tv asleep from no use, Logan and Roman just shared a soft fond look before silently agreeing to not wake them and summoning a blanket for the two before leaving. Logan and Roman could see something had changed, they could see the tension eased from Patton's shoulders ever so slightly, not gone for sure but he was clearly content and that was breathing room, because while Patton had always left the door to his room open as an invitation to anyone and everyone that they could come in and that had persisted, Patton had still been coming out of his room less and less, and aside from that there was other things that just made it clear something was wrong, but Patton and Janus were content, right there, taking a nap, and for now that's all they needed to know.
contents and warnings: angst (past), hurt/comfort, friendly teasing, amnesia, Janus is mentally a child, injury, blood, hypothetical dead body, cursing, Logan’s kinda blunt,
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By the time Roman had gotten to Logan’s door, which had taken surprisingly long since Roman wanted to make sure he was careful, with janus, the poor side who had ended up completely and utterly asleep pretty much the moment roman began walking, utterly exhausted, and honestly Roman wouldn’t admit it but he imagines he’d be exhausted as well if he was in Janus’s place.
Roman looked at Janus again before sighing and doing his best to adjust him into one arm so he could knock on Logan’s door, and once he had, he knocked, making sure to be the quietest he could while still being heard on the other end as not to wake up Janus,
And Soon emerged Logan, who looked tired and grumpy and like he was about to tell them to go away, but then his eyes caught Janus, and Roman could see the confusion and curiosity ignite in his eyes, so when those curious eyes met Romans, roman just pointed inside and mouthed ‘not now, inside.’ Logan, deciding this was more important than work at the moment, just shook his head to himself, nodded and opened his door to let them in.
Roman made his way to the bed and carefully set Janus on it, and when Janus began to stir in his sleep, roman huffed a laugh before summoning a warm blanket and setting it onto him, which placated him enough to remain asleep.
Then when roman was done with that he turned to Logan and walked with him across the room to where Janus wouldn’t wake up from the noise, before the conversation began.
Logan was first to talk, “okay care to fill me in?” He gestured vaguely to Janus “Because frankly there’s no way somethings not wrong, He was just sleeping in your arms which is very uncharacteristic if you haven't noticed-“ he glanced at Janus just a second or two too long before turning to Roman “-.. and he’s bleeding, or at least had been bleeding.”
Roman sighed and nodded “yeah.. okay so my theory is Janus had stumbled into the imagination and something got to him. And I also think.. he may have hit his head, or something.. if i'm right.” Roman spared a concerned glance to Janus before turning his head to Logan once again.
Logan looked between the two for a minute before going “.. are.. are you suggesting amnesia?”
“I.. think so, Janus didn’t seem to recognize me and he got all freaked out when he saw all of the family portraits didn’t include king and then he got even more freaked out when I told him king was split and when i asked if he remembered, unless he was the best actor in the world- which is impossible since that’s me-“ he fake coughed before continuing -“I would have figured out if he was lying when he said he didn’t remember. Also” he vaguely gestured to him “Janus would never cry in front of us, especially full on sob, which he did, in front of me. so even if he didn’t have amnesia something is definitely wrong.”
Logan took a couple minutes to process all that information before simply going “ah, it's good you brought him to me then,” and then after another second or so he gave a thoughtful look and continued “it’s.. changed a lot since king was around, and if that’s around where his memory is we need to keep and eye on him so he doesn’t get hurt,” he told him seriously before he huffed a laugh “we don’t need another side walking into a door.”
Roman nodded to what Logan was saying before he fully processed the last bit in which he gasped in offense and pointed at him accusingly “I’ll have you know that that only happened once! You hear me? Once!” And though he continued muttering about ‘that happens once and this is my treatment?’ He stopped talking to logan for the moment.
Logan chuckled, and after a minute or so Roman stopped muttering angrily and instead made the noise of a lightbulb going off In his head, before he began speaking “also because he was definitely bleeding earlier we should get him to take a bath or a shower so he doesn’t just.. die or something”
Logan nodded “yes it would be a good idea to clean the wounds, though I don’t believe he would die if we didn't since we are figments of thomas’s imagination, at worst there’d be a really bad infection, though i definitely do need to see how deep those wounds are.”
Roman nodded “and this, my dear nerd, is why I brought him to you.”
Logan let out an unamused huff as he shook his head, then after a couple moments he quieted “roman, king creativity hasn’t been around for a very long time, so, Janus may very well be in the headspace of a child, so be careful to be soft with him while we figure everything out. okay?”
Roman nodded quietly “okay.”
______
After an hour or so Janus woke up, and after another ten or so minutes he was fully conscious.
Which meant they had to talk to him, since they couldn't just.. Not.
Roman started first, “okay, okay, Dee?” He asked softly. internally questioning if him saying dee was correct, but deciding that he thought calling him deceit would be cold under the circumstances and calling him Janus probably wouldn’t be good if he didn’t remember the previous time before he passed out, so Dee it was. He continued “okay, so here’s the thing-“ he cut himself off again, really how do you explain to someone their head got all Fucky wucky and now they don’t got most of the memories? Really, how do you do it?
After a moment he sent a look of ‘help’ to Logan and after a sigh that went unnoticed by janus, logan cut in “so, me and roman, we were talking earlier.. and after everything we’ve deduced we’re almost certain you have a case of amnesia, most likely from blunt force trauma.”
Roman interrupted him there, “okay specs I don’t think it’s the appropriate time to flex on him with your medical knowledge you got from watching some medical show, chill.”
Logan fake coughed “yes umm..” he trailed off before they paid attention to Janus again who looked.. well at a loss for words for one, as he just sat there.
Then after a couple long uncomfortable minutes he spoke up just offering a small “oh,” and shifting uncomfortably “okay” He continued before looking down at his lap and fiddling with his hands, making Logan and Roman look between themselves nervously once again, not knowing if they should leave him be to process the information, though not leaving him in the room by himself, or send him on a task to get his mind off things for the moment so everything won’t be so overwhelming.
After a bit of just letting him sit though they realized leaving him be didn’t seem to be helping any so Logan spoke up, “okay, deceit, I know you got a lot to process but we need to get you washed up to see how severe your injuries are.”
Janus shook his head adamantly, his mood changing almost immediately at the change of topic, the earlier information disappearing from his mind. “no! Baths suck!”
Logan took a breath, trying to consider his counter argument to that before Roman interrupted “they do, but! If you take a nice warm shower or bath you can get off the dried blood, and me and Logan will get you a nice, clean, warm and fluffy pair of pajamas for you to relax in?” Roman negotiated.
Janus was visibly considering it, and after a couple moments made a show of sighing “fine! But if the faucet's water starts turning into blood from a dead body in the sewers I will scream so loud, and I will personally blame you.” He told him seriously.
Roman couldn't help but chuckle “don’t worry I’m pretty sure that’s really statistically unlikely! I think..” he tried, his reassuring tone becoming more questioning in the last words,
Logan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “ignore him, he’s not the side to go to for statistics,” he said making Roman gasp in faux-offense, “-but don’t worry, we’re sides so that cannot happen to us as we are fully imagined, err- i promise that their will be no dead bodies in the sewers.”
Janus hummed in consideration of that before simply going “‘kay,” and that was the end of that conversation, after a minute or so roman headed to the bathroom to set up a bath for janus while janus immediately followed him to try his best to sternly tell roman he could do it himself, not that roman listened, only leaving when he was done, happily saluting himself away as janus practically pouted at him.
_____
“Hey specs?”
“Yes Roman?”
“I wonder how Patton, Virgil, and Remus will react to.. This,” he made vague gestures to everything,
“..I don’t know, on the amnesia side I’m sure Patton would begin doting on him and Virgil would constantly be making sure he didn’t somehow die by not knowing where bread was, or on the other end of the spectrum virgil might try to avoid janus altogether, but on the Janus being in a child’s mindset because of the amnesia.. I don’t know, I mean we all used to be the best of friends, the four of us, you know, so they would likely get along with him, hell if it wasn’t for the school adults constantly telling the kids that lying is evil and and having darker of an imagination then puppies-” he abruptly cut himself just as he was beginning to rant, though it was still semi obvious to roman that was the reason they stopped being friends with janus. “I don’t know, I’m sorry, those three are The most unpredictable of the six of us, and I don't even have the vaguest idea what remus’s reaction would be.”
Roman nodded “yeah.. though I think regardless, Patton should be the first person we tell, virgil will probably feel anxious about it and if he's the first to be told he might feel like he has to keep it a secret which’ll make him feel more anxious, and again like you said.. We don't know how Remus'll react, though, regardless of who we tell, we should wait till tomorrow, it's late, and Janus literally sobbed today and we still need to check over his wounds, and I'm pretty sure he needs more rest then a nap- so.. tomorrow?”
Logan nodded, knowing even if roman didnt list his reasons he’d of agreed “tomorrow.”
the last chapter!! this was super fun rewriting and im glad i did! however this took forever-
(meat pillow = human pillow)
ch 1 | ch 2 | ch 3 | ch 4 | ch 5 | ch 6 | ch 7 |
original fic
words: 7940 (fuck that's a lot-)
ao3
contents and warnings: intrusive thoughts, Remus being a shit, hurt/comfort, abandonment issues, cursing, Remus typical, trust issues, self esteem issues, fluff, pet names, death mention, anxiety, movies, food mention,
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A few days had passed since, And Janus had barely left Remus’s room in that time, after the initial sobbing Remus had brought him there so he could rest semi-comfortably and Remus could both watch him safely and had the control to just summon more blankets if need be, but by the next morning Janus had convinced himself if he just stayed there he’d know Remus wasn’t going to disappear like creativity did. After all, his room would disappear with him and kick Janus out if he did, right? so maybe he could go try and get help this time.
Remus didn’t mind him residing so heavily in his room, it meant he could keep him safe since for the most part, he was in control of the room, he was concerned of course especially because while his room didn’t usually affect him it might be different now and it might fuck up Janus’s brain like it occasionally did extra to Remus, and on top of that Janus had barely spoken, after the desperate sob-ridden whispering of his name died down he had pretty much been nonverbal. but, even if Remus didn’t know why, Janus felt safe there, so of course he didn’t mind him being there one bit.
However, He hoped it really was just that Janus felt safe there and not the alternative of that he felt unsafe everywhere else, he honestly couldn’t tell, Janus seemed a little more content there and he stubbornly never left the room, but Remus didn’t know if safety is the cause or.. something else.
Occasionally, when Janus was doing better than normal Janus would just rest and watch a show or take a nap since he hadn’t been sleeping well, even before the whole amnesia incident, and Remus would tend to other important stuff that he normally forgoed to watch over Janus to make sure he wouldn’t spiral again, unbeknownst to Janus though one of the important things he had been doing was going to the light sides common room, not for very long, and giving them status updates on him because they all were extremely worried about him since he suddenly just disappeared with no warning and only the next day could Remus tell them the shortened majority of what happened, or at least what he had gathered, of course, that only made them more worried, and they all had been quick to ask if they could see him and check up on him but when remus added how Janus was doing at the moment, they knew instantly that, that would only harm his healing and even if it didn’t he wasn’t ready for more people, especially not them.
Though even if they did decide they were going to see him despite knowing that, they knew Remus would immediately just kick them out.
(Which honestly Roman really was proud of Remus for, he could just tell how much he cared for Janus, and Roman suspected Janus cared deeply for his brother too.)
So for now, they would all just look forward to the updates and hope soon Janus was ready for a visit, though as Remus finished up the status update and immediately sunk out back to the dark common room, they had a feeling it would be a while.
_____________________
After the first week had passed Remus had re-begun his habit of keeping precise track of how long it’d been, originally since Virgil left, and then since Janus had gotten amnesia, now, since Janus had returned.
Janus hadn’t noticed the habit, still pretty much holed up in Remus’s room, though fortunately, Remus had been able to occasionally bring Janus out to hang out with him while Remus attempted making food, he had actually gotten a small laugh out of him after panicking because Remus thought he had accidentally made bread because the dough was thick and heavy and wasn’t being malleable also it was purple and if he wanted to accidentally make anything he wanted to accidentally make something venomous, not bread, especially because it would be hilarious to watch Logan try and argue and say a dough that bites you and you die is illogical- of course it is, that’s the point! It’s illogical and fun! Maybe he could train it to target-
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Day fourteen.
Another week had passed and Janus had begun talking semi-frequently again, not a lot but still Remus was ecstatic, he knew it was definitely due to the little swimmers, those things were great and they sounded like you killed someone to make them! Especially when he ‘accidentally’ called them little floaters, he giggled to himself, honestly, he is, he’s really happy to see some of his old Janus return, he even made a sarcastic comment! And he’s been coming out of the room a little more consistently! Occasionally even helping him cook! Though that always ended up backfiring because Remus then has the other goal of annoying Janus and he forgets the original goal of making something for Janus to eat, he can eat the burnt stuff but Janus is just so particular, he's glad to have him back.
He grins to himself as he looks over at Janus, who’s currently taking up the entirety of the middle of the bed like a damn bed hog, so very rude, a thousand years in the dungeon for being a bed hog.
He happily scampers before throwing himself onto Janus’s legs as jail, so Absolutely exulted as Janus yelps before outwardly but lightheartedly complaining he can’t move, there’s his Janus.
He, with a tad bit of ‘assistance’, -well a lot of it, rolled off just enough so Janus can move, still wearing a toothy grin, not at all bothered as he looked up at him before simply going “so very rude” not even trying to disguise the happiness still very evident even when he started doing his best to pout.
Janus huffed a fond chuckle, “you were the one who decided to try and make me unable to move” he points out, emphasizing the ‘try’ as he had barely laid on his legs for a minute before getting kicked off.
Remus waved it off “details details,” he said dismissively.
Janus shook his head to himself fondly at his best friend’s attempted shenanigans, simply going back to resting on the headboard as he scrolled to see which movie he and Remus should watch together, that one looked new.
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Day seventeen.
“Hey JJ..? Would you wanna see the light sides?”
Janus froze, completely caught off guard by the question, of course he knew it would be asked eventually he wasn’t stupid enough to assume it wouldn’t be, but he just- he wasn’t prepared, he really wasn’t, and he didn’t have an answer.
He looked down, shifting uncomfortably on the kitchen stool where he had been sitting, beginning to fidget with the ends of his sweater sleeve, a habit he had picked up a long while before from Virgil when they were just kids, “I- ..don’t know,” he said hesitantly, after the first day or two he had a lot of time to think about the reactions of the ‘light sides’ to him getting his memories back and he hated all of the scenarios he created, he sighed, deciding to explain why, Remus was naturally a very curious person, perks of being creativity, he might as well not let Remus’s imagination list an inaccurate, probably concerning list of reasons, might as well list his own, accurate, concerning list of reasons. So, he looked up to Remus with an uncertain gaze “what if they were only nice to me out of pity and now just have more ammo? Or what if they weren’t nice out of pity but realize they only care or even remotely like me when I’m not well, me, well I Suppose I technically was but, that’s not who I am anymore,“ he hissed out before sighing and Remus hopped on the counter next to him trying his best to give a comforting aura.
Remus gave him a small look and Janus continued going on, “what if they continue treating me like they did when I was mentally pretty much just a kid? We’re adults now, Thomas is an adult now, I’m an adult now, and Patton may not be knowingly cruel but... what if from now on he only sees me as a child? What if I’m not taken seriously and don’t have a spot at the table from now on? again.” He took a breath, and that was only a small portion of his concerns, and in hindsight, he really would prefer Remus’s room right now even if he was sure Remus wouldn’t disappear right now so he didn’t need it for that reason, it was still a smaller space and it made him feel like he wasn’t out in the open, vulnerable.
Remus frowned, concerned, “Jan, they won’t treat you any differently, well, they might! but not in a bad or patronizing way, you’re awesome! You have very pretty scales and you are very smart so I’m sure they’ll only be nicer to you since now they realize it” he chirped encouragingly.
Janus sighed “but that's the thing, that would be the best of it, because at least they’d still be a little somewhat kind to me in those scenarios, but what if they don’t? What if they see how much I’ve grown up and changed from who I used to be and decide they detest me even more and prefer who I used to be? What if they think I’m a simple lost cause? What if they just don’t care at all? I mean you saw how the whole uh-“ he swallowed uncomfortably before making a gesture with his hand, “you know, you saw how that whole thing turned out, Thomas wasn’t happy because I chose a poor way of discussing everything and introducing myself and-“ he sighed heavily, his shoulders sagging “preferably I’d try to avoid ever running into them again, but because repression works so well for Patton I just- not now, I can’t see them now.”
Remus hopped off the counter and onto a stool next to Janus’s which was very clearly his as it was covered almost entirely in tape at Janus’s insistence since it ‘wasn’t safe’, and ‘it could fall apart’, he grabbed Janus’s hand “okay first double dee you’re sounding a lot like a certain emo we know, and don’t worry if they do end up doing those things I will just impale them! it’ll be very bloody! There’ll be guts and blood everywhere!” He said chipperly with a grin and at Janus’s look he gave a big over exaggerated sigh “and even if I didn’t, though I would enjoy it, I’m pretty certain they wouldn’t act like that- let’s say I have a hunch!” He giggled to himself like he was a middle schooler with an inside joke.
Janus looked down “I wouldn’t blame them though, I haven’t been doing the best I could be as Thomas’s self-preservation, or even his deception, why wouldn’t they prefer me with a younger mindset? At least then I’m nice if nothing else, Normal me is- I’m just.. not good,”
Remus could feel Janus’s long-standing insecurities leak out like an oil spill into water with just those words, especially when Remus realized the last bit wasn’t even meant to be about Janus’s job, he let out a breath before huffing, “lemon-drop, you were literally just on the defensive the entire time during that whole debacle, of course you were kind of a jerk! but you’re not a shitlord, don’t worry!” He said, in his own way of comforting, but before Janus could ponder who Remus even counted as a ‘shitlord’ as he had so eloquently put it Remus continued “Also those losers had the opportunity to see you relaxed- not in the best way as I’m pretty sure you could’ve like… died or something and there would’ve been so much blood and Roman would’ve screamed so loud and it would’ve been really funny to hear him scream that loud-“ Janus cut that train of thought off just before it finished with just a glance and Remus continued his original point “so like even if they had a bad opinion of you they saw that you were nice and cuddly when not feeling threatened, they were a little late to the party but eh, and even if you were in the mindset of a child, now you don’t inhale chicken nuggets big difference right? They still will wanna get to know you and all that jazz” he made a motion with his hand.
Janus sighed, “okay though that’s my point, one, I was really different as a kid, I had this weird obsession with making flower crowns because I figured out how to do it and thought it was the coolest thing ever, I was a whole lot happier and more optimistic because I hadn’t seen how shitty the world was yet, and because of that world I got a variety of you know-“
“Trauma!” He filled in happily
“Err- yes, and even if they saw how I was and decided they wanna learn more about me, they’d probably end up bitterly comparing me to when I was a kid because I’ve grown up and Now I’m awful,” he said With a resigned but plain tone.
Remus didn’t know how Janus could just so freely tell Him that he viewed himself as awful, that was Remus’s domain, say stuff that was very disturbing and concerning and act like it just wasn’t, “Janus, honey bee, you're not awful, and if I have to twist everyone who told you that’s ears off and feed it to them for you to believe it then so be it!” He grinned trying his best to latch onto Janus in a hug but it not working the best as they were both sitting in stools away from each other.
Janus huffed a fond laugh at Remus’s way of trying to comfort him, it was always certainly gory, but when he starts threatening people for you, that’s how you knew he cared.
Honestly, he still didn’t believe it but he knew Remus often had difficulty actually comforting without murder and torture threats and he had already been doing pretty great at comforting him throughout the weeks so he’ll get through it, and he is acknowledging it so it’s not repression shut up.
After a bit, Remus had given up on the hug, and Janus paused suddenly before letting a small natural smirk come across his features as he went to start the familiar banter “totally speaking of, how many nicknames have you gathered in your arsenal? I know you used like eight so far today,”
Remus’s face lit up with a smug toothy grin “first of all they’re pet names because that’s cute, fuck roman I can be cute too, and second, you will never know how many are in my armada, because, my dear finch, there are so, so, so many,”
“So you don’t know,” he said smugly.
Remus gasped “of course I do! How dare you accuse me of not knowing! My own best friend! Really? How could you betray me like this!” He asked him dramatically, almost falling off his stool once again.
Janus chuckled lowly “I know I’ve committed the worst of crimes,” he said sarcastically.
Remus nodded seriously “you really have.”
Janus couldn’t keep himself from laughing fondly, though after a second he just paused, remembering that while he had kind of answered the earlier question the conversation didn’t really have a good conclusion or actual answer so after a minute of him just thinking he slowly went “I think… I wouldn’t be against seeing them, er-” he took a breath trying to clarify “I’d be okay with it, with seeing them, however right now I’m just not ready, I can’t see them today, maybe even not this week, I don’t quite know.” He told him quietly, not even knowing if that gave better answers, but he did try his best to clarify it more so he hoped it helped.
Remus nodded “that’s alright, the longer till you see them the better, play hard to get!”
That got a surprised laugh out of Janus “I don’t think playing hard to get is the right phrase dear.”
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Day twenty-six.
It had been a little while since the conclusion, and Janus was actually feeling a lot better, and recovery (especially mental) wasn’t always smooth but while it had been slowly going already, he found it a bit swifter now that the ‘when’ of the conversation was off his mind since now that the whole discussion happened he didn’t have to worry about it happening in the future, which he had been doing a lot more then he realized, well he supposed it might happen again but at least it wouldn’t happen soon In the future, because he didn’t think Remus would press him for more answers any time soon, maybe he’d ask again in a month if nothing happened by then but that would be a month away, so he had time to relax.
Of course though, because emotions are exhausting, the day after the conversation he had ended up taking a rest day and had hidden in Remus’s pile of blankets once again, which actually had weirdly grown a lot bigger since he had gotten back, Remus had always kept extra blankets for him- not always clean, but still there, but these blankets were always clean and really soft and never looked like they had had acid dripped on them, which was weird since they had taken the blankets out of Remus’s room several times so there should probably be a little evidence of crimes, but he supposed that wasn’t a pressing issue as soon after he recouped pretty fully He’d ended up finding himself outside Remus’s room more often than not, he was alright, he only really went to Remus’s room now to sleep since they both were extremely clingy and were prone to nightmares often and that was an easy comfort, and hell he had even been going to his actual room like normal to grab his books that he had ‘hidden away’ by putting them where they actually went so Remus could try to read one.
And he and Remus had personally seen how non-linear healing after something traumatic or simply terrifying happened to them was, they’d had to watch it be non-linear countless times, and it had been really rough for them once again for a long while after the overstimulation, panic attack, and trauma Janus had gotten, getting his memory back, but after everything he’s been feeling pretty good, he’s still nervous about the idea of seeing the light sides because literally anything can happen and he’s pretty sure he’d break if he had gotten all that kindness and then just ended up being treated with malice the moment he was him, he’d just break, all his progress in leaving Remus’s relatively safe room and feeling okay would just be gone, he had gotten a taste of pure kindness, not in the greatest way since he had actively had trauma inducing amnesia to get it, but still, it was so much kindness from everyone, Patton, Logan, even roman and Virgil, just everyone, and he didn't deserve that amount of kindness anyway but still if it was stripped away he’d be devastated, even if Remus had accidentally told him about how he occasionally left because they wanted updates on him and that they were always so happy to hear he was doing good- that didn’t mean they couldn’t change their minds about it, they could still be thinking of him as a child-
Though he knows he shouldn’t be thinking about this too much, he knows that it can tend to Dramatize any negative emotion when in the dark mind, and he prefers feeling alright thank you very much.
He takes a breath, happy Remus isn’t paying attention. He has something of a month give or take, he has time to try and get over their kindness so he won’t be as devastated when they stop giving it, he’ll be fine.
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Day twenty-eight.
Janus was pretty much entirely himself again, Remus had been so endlessly happy when Janus had started acting a little more like himself but now he was, he was happy and healthy and him, Remus was pretty sure Roman would be freaked out at how happy he was, double-checking everything throughout the day in case Remus did something to it, though speaking of, the light sides were still kind of an avoided topic when not required- but still Janus felt safe and okay again, everything was going just wonderfully.
And! Janus hadn’t even commented on the acid burnt counter! which made Everything just that much better. and even though Janus still had a lot of anxiety about seeing the light sides or talking about them the more updates Remus gave the more and more certain he was they wouldn’t let Janus’s anxiety’s come true, The worst they would do was Janus would end up having to listen to Logan rant about books- for some reason, he didn’t get the connection between books and Janus, but he was pretty sure Janus would be okay with listening to it, he liked philosophy books and would probably listen intently or debate back, or if it was simply the reading of the book he’d probably end up dozing off to it as background noise, Janus fell asleep pretty easily under specific conditions, which he’d totally blab to them the next time he gave the light sides a status update.
Hah, take that Janny.
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Day thirty-five.
Janus, despite looking in every nook and cranny, still couldn’t find Remus, he hadn’t seen him all day and it was already late in the afternoon, along with that, Remus had made a point of making sure he always said (or left a note of) where he was going if he was going to be gone for a while, like when he went to the imagination, and it wasn’t like he would just forget.
And Janus had something he really wanted to ask Remus, he had tried waiting for him to return from where he was hiding but it had been several hours and the question had just gotten louder in his head in that time, and Remus would have the best and most reliable answer to the question and it was annoying that he didn’t even know where he was-
However quickly he realized that along with the slight annoyance showing up so had appeared the sudden, terrified thoughts of he’s gone he’s gone he’s gone he’s-
So he tried desperately looking over everything once again even looking in pantries and closets, all the while trying very hard not to let himself panic as well trying to put a distance between him and that corridor but, as he came up empty once again, not even finding a weirdly placed note, he really was panicking, trying desperately to find even the smallest trace of him.
Then he froze in his panic, realizing he knew where Remus was.
He knew exactly where he was.
He was with the light sides, where he had been going for a while to give them the ‘status updates’, Janus knew he had been going for a short while, especially since Remus couldn’t keep secrets to save his life, but still, the realization made him more hesitant in his search. At least knew Remus was safe?
But he was doing well. he needed to get over the fear eventually, and if it all turned out well he could just catch Remus at the end of the conversation and walk back with him and ask him the question because he was really curious, so, while he spent the whole time wishing he was less stubborn and that he could just forget the question, he continued the search.
He walked into the hallway hesitantly, doing his best to not touch or even look at anything during this agonizing walk, he really did hate this hallway, if for no other reason than it always felt so long, it was long and boring and only filled with unpleasant memories- the only hallway the lead to the light sides… he didn't want to ponder the possible implications of that, maybe that was one of the reasons he didn't truly want to see the light sides, leaving that thought to think about later. he really truly hated the hallway.
It just kept going and going, on and on, and with those boring beige walls.
He paused in his tracks when he got to the picture of him, Remus, and Virgil, the picture itself feels bittersweet now that he remembers it, Remus had been so happy with the photo, grinning so brightly as he tried to put it everywhere, having multiple times made copies to put in the couch cushion for whatever Remusy reason, but along with that, now, he knows exactly why Virgil’s face is covered.
At some point it had simply just become too hard to see his face any longer, it had hurt, they had both felt so betrayed, Remus had ended up trying to not voice his thoughts any longer and be more like Roman because he was convinced it was his fault and because of that he was slowly more and more sure Janus was gonna leave him too, it had taken a while to recover from the grief and heartbreak but it had taken a lot longer to help Remus recover too, it had taken a lot of his soft honeyed words that Janus knew Remus needed and a lot of Janus drawing Remus close and letting him just exist, he remembers the day in which Remus stopped believing Janus was gonna leave so vividly, and really, only love can hurt someone so badly, they loved Virgil so dearly, trying everything they could to get him to stay, which just severed them from him even more.
He sighs, taking a breath, he didn’t need to think about it more, that didn’t matter anymore, or at least it didn’t matter right now, he did not need to lose his nerve to go find Remus.
He huffed to himself before continuing his walk, this time not allowing himself to get distracted by any pictures or anything else of the sort, just speed walking to the end, though when he finally got to the end of corridor, or close enough to the end of it to be blinded by bright light filtering through, he wished he had, the whole time his mind had been going through fight or flight panic mode while just doing something as simple as walking but the moment he saw the others he was thoroughly panicking.
His theory was correct, Remus was there, animatedly talking to the others with a bright grin on his face, but that's the problem, there were the others, they were smiling and listening to him talk with such bright eyes, and that was nice, but they were there.
He couldn’t keep his breath from hitching, as he froze like a deer in headlights, unconsciously leaning forward to get a better view of the situation.
He didn’t want to be seen though, he was almost certain he should just run back to Remus’s room, and pretend he hadn’t been there because suddenly he doesn’t think waiting for Remus to be done was a viable option,
And even if it still was, the moment he froze all his thoughts stopped and he couldn’t remember what the question even was- that would really bother him later.
he should go back, his question had been forgotten and suddenly he didn’t feel confident about seeing them- he really needed to go back-
Unfortunately for Janus at that moment though, Roman had already caught sight of him, and after a second of staring, trying to process that he was in fact, there, Roman couldn’t help but gasp softly “Janus?” He asked, suddenly forgetting other people were around as he saw Janus freeze even more.
Janus suddenly wanted to run and hide in a small condensed and controlled space and hope no one would ever find him, but his legs weren’t working and his brain was going too fast to think of sinking out, and after another frozen moment staring at them, he realized he was too stubborn to run either way and even if he wasn’t how would they even react to seeing him for the first time in a month before just watching as he ran away from them? At least now if they did hate him or decide to hate him it wasn't because they saw him just run from them, so better get this out of the way right? And at least he’ll know if they hate him for a fact.
He slowly, and begrudgingly, made his way out of the doorway, trying his best not to show how much he wanted to hide behind Remus, god he really hated being the center of attention right now, he could feel the pity surrounding him.
Soon he had successfully walked next to Remus, staying silent and trying his best to give off the same suave villain façade as he had done countless times, however, he’d settle for slightly menacing, whatever the case of how he came off, he stood tall and silent practically daring them to speak, not the first time he’s put on a confident display when he just wanted to hide, he’s not going to analyze that.
but regardless of anything, the shocked silence didn’t last long as Remus turned and grinned at him “hey there songbird! How ya’ feeling?” He asked sweetly, and Janus loved Remus but he was certain the pet name was part of an evil plan to fluster him in front of the light sides.
and he decidedly would not fall for that so he simply went “I am doing well” In a honeyed voice, still trying his best to seem intimidating so he could get away quickly.
But less than a moment later he realized that just the use of Remus’s pet names had snapped them out of it and none of them, not even Virgil, looked slightly uneasy, which means he would have to talk to them and didn’t have an excuse to just leave, great.
He steeled himself, waiting for the others to begin talking, and they did. Patton looked back to the others for a brief second before going first as he piped up with a simple chirp of “hi Janus!!”
Janus paused before he silently nodded to him, just acknowledging him and trying to nonverbally say hi as well because he didn’t want to show off how badly his hands were shaking by waving and he didn’t care to use his voice at the moment.
But apparently, Patton hadn’t been done as he just smiled a bright smile before going into it “how are you? Oh wait you said you were well- have you found any new shows? Also I found a board game I think you’ll like! Do you-“ he paused his talking as he realized he had gone too quickly for anyone to even hear, he himself had barely understood the spoken words with how rushed they had been, so he took a breath before just grinning again as he asked, “Has anything cool happened recently?” Which sounded pretty dumb to him but he couldn’t ask how he was as Remus had already done that and Janus had said he was doing well so hypothetically he could have found something cool? Though now that he looks at Janus, is he sure he's okay? He looked like he was on edge and he had been fidgeting with his gloveless hands behind his back, like what Virgil did when he first started showing up years ago, trying desperately not to show fear and instead appear intimidating.
Janus hesitated, not sure ‘oh yeah! Remus disappeared without a trace so for a minute I was terrified he just died like king did!’ was a good answer, especially because that answer would mean vulnerability with people who weren’t Remus, and he hadn’t failed to notice Patton was treating him like he did Virgil, but he wasn’t Virgil, and he refused to be like a stray cat that gets overly attached to people who showed him a shred of compassion, he had already done that to Remus so instead he just casually went “nothing particular.”
and he was intending on moving on but instead, Remus just butts in “oh! He jumped like a foot in the air because the tv turned on when he hit the power button on the remote and he got scared! I think that's pretty cool!” And cackled, And okay he may have loved Remus but as his face heated up he wasn’t entirely against murder at the moment. yeah, this was definitely part of Remus’s evil plan to get him to stop being defensive, wasn’t it? Damn him.
He heard a couple pairs of muffled chuckles from the others, damn him, he quickly turned his head away from them, he couldn’t even be slightly intimidating with that image in their heads now, Remus sucked, “traitor” he mumbled under his breath and if Remus heard it, it only made him cackle more.
After a couple of moments of Janus pouting and pretending they couldn’t very clearly see him pouting he realized it wasn’t actually that bad so far, they certainly hadn’t done anything, actually, besides Patton, and Roman announcing him, none of them had even said anything much to his surprise, he’d of assumed at least Roman would make more conversation though maybe the façade had worked? Not with letting him leave but with showing the others he didn’t want to talk to them? He.. didn’t think he wanted that, he was fine with talking with them if he wasn’t, even subconsciously, he probably would’ve just waited till Remus came home instead of going to find him, even with the panic.
He hummed quietly to himself, about to try and start a conversation so it could be his choice and he wouldn’t feel pressured but when he turned his head to face them he realized they were all silently looking at each other, having their own conversation with just their eyes, and he didn’t even have time to question it before it stopped with a nod from Patton and they looked back at him.
And he was very close to going on the defensive again with how watched he felt, like every move was being criticized, but he didn’t even have a chance as Patton Began talking “hey um-“ he cleared his throat, almost nervously before continuing “would you two wanna have a movie night with us?” He asked and while he said ‘you two’ it was very clearly directed at Janus if they went or not.
Movie nights didn’t require talking, it occasionally had it but it wasn’t required, and it would have snacks and their eyes wouldn’t constantly be on him, and on top of that Remus had been with him for a month, and before that he had been away for another month and yes now he occasionally left to give status updates but he hadn’t gotten to have a proper movie night in almost two months, and that was because of him, Remus really loved movie nights.
He knew Remus wouldn’t go without him, he loved Remus but he was so stubborn when he wanted to be, and he knew he was okay with their presence, he hadn’t spiraled at least, with a glance at Remus who was trying not to look at him too much with that hopeful look he knew his answer, so after a slightly uncomfortable silence he just held himself high and in a slightly faux-honeyed voice he casually drawled “sure, why not” and he could see the excitement not only on Remus’s face but on everyone’s face, though Virgil was desperately trying to hide it with a small mumbled “cool” that he was pretty sure Virgil intended to come out louder and less like an excited little breath.
Still, he could see Roman and Patton grinning as they looked at each other and even Logan seemed happy with his answer, at least according to the small smile on his face that he appeared to have been trying to hide.
after a moment of them all just being happy with the answer only Logan realized he needed to give details on when the movie night actually was, so clearing his throat, he said “you two can stay as long as you would like,” beforehand incase the latter information somehow seemed like they were throwing them Out till then “and movie nights typically start around six or seven pm, so in my assumption we are doing the movie tonight-“ he briefly looked at everyone, trying to look for any objections, but finding none he continued “so you two would come back around that time, and you are not required to bring anything- Remus you do need clothes, not a discussion- but you are welcome to bring comfort items like an extra pillow or blanket,” he finished and with a nod from everyone the plans had been made.
They all happily chattered on a little more with Remus, Janus occasionally piping in, and after a while with a small bit of coaxing Janus left where his feet had been glued to the floor, though he only got so far before Remus just threw him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and happily left like he had done nothing, because he was Remus and he did that.
Soon after they left Janus remembered that he had forgotten something but he didn’t know what it was, which irritated him to no end, but at least he had made contact with the light sides, and it might even turn out well, so maybe this was a victory? He couldn’t help but mentally note again just how happy they were when he- Janus- deceit, agreed to go to the movie night.
Weird.
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“Ci-ci, I love you with all my heart but you can’t bring all the blankets, they have some there, and if someone got strangled with a blanket you’d be the first suspect!” He chided seriously.
Janus frowned, ignoring the last bit as he talked “but what if the ones they have irritate my scales? Or there just simply aren’t enough and someone ends up hogging them? What if they actually expected us to bring blankets and didn’t account for us not to? What if it’s a lot colder than they thought it would be and-“
Remus sighed “chill your tits dee, stuff was fine, mostly, while you were there, and it’ll be okay again, but if it keeps you at ease what about we bring two? That way if that really happens you won’t have to worry about it.” He compromised, in his own way.
Janus thought about it for a moment before sighing “fine, however, if I get cold and the blankets do not help, I will complain, and use you as a space heater.” He told him coldly.
Remus giggled before grinning “aww! Snakey wants cuddles!”
Janus’s face heated up “shut up” he mumbled.
Remus just began fully laughing “you know you love meeee”
Janus sighed again, before chuckling softly, unable to stop the small fond smile from forming on his own face “unfortunately you’re my best friend, so, even more unfortunately I do.”
Remus gasped in mock-offense, making a show of his ‘betrayal’ before jumping right back to his normal self, laughing loudly and wrapping his arms loosely around Janus.
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“Okay! So if we want a good ‘sorry I- we were mean to you and we’ll try our hardest to make it up to you, please let us befriend you,’ movie night we’ll need more snacks and we should have a couple of extra blankets just laying around on top of the couch just in case!” Patton called from the living room as he sorted through the movies, receiving a couple of affirmations from Logan and Roman in return as they started doing what was told of them, Roman gathering the snacks and Logan the blankets.
Patton smiled as everything finished, at least for the moment, they still needed popcorn and to change into their pj’s which he told as such, as well as Patton still had to find Janus’s and Remus’s favorite movies.
Roman and Logan simply nodded with this information as Virgil fixed the small tidbits that needed fixing, and he was left to wonder if this was just a protocol for befriending dark sides.
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Janus had only had a handful of hours but he was already having second thoughts about saying yes to going to the movie. Maybe he could subtly try and tell Remus he could go to movie night on his own while Janus stayed behind and made some sweets?
No, he shook his head and sighed, Remus would stubbornly stay with him if he stayed behind, as well as probably say something so incredibly cheesy despite the fact he would’ve loved going to a movie night and commenting on the hidden innuendos in the movie, he knew that, he knew Remus.
So Janus would simply have to actually go, he couldn’t take it back, for Remus. and hopefully, it would go well- he logically knows it probably would as the awkward closed off reunion they had- if it could be called a reunion, didn’t go too wrong since they invited them in the first place, so it’ll be fine, but still, he finds himself repeating ‘for Remus’ often.
He sighed again and just in time Remus bounced back into the room to collect some trinkets or whatever they were before turning up to him “you ready to go?”
Janus gave a low hum before nodding, for Remus, he gently reminded himself again as he locked arms with The man and they headed on their way to the common room.
Once they had gotten there Janus realized a couple of things, one: it was a lot more casual than he had thought it would, in the best way too. and two: he had to give Remus some credit about the blanket decision because it was much warmer than he thought (though he would still Absolutely say it was cold and use Remus as a meat pillow, spite is powerful.)
But regardless of the casualness he still found himself very careful about sitting down on the couch with Remus, and god he was lucky for Remus being there with him, as well as the comfortably warm room that was just cold enough so you could cuddle without overheating but still being comfortable- Remus was a very comforting, steady presence and he was just happy to exist near him.
After a couple of minutes with the two settling into their newly claimed spots, Patton and the others came into the room, Patton carrying two bowls of popcorn, and easily setting them down onto the coffee table, grinning to himself before noticing them and when Patton’s eyes met with his Janus could tell he was surprised they got their sooner than them- or maybe he was surprised they actually came? He supposed it could have been a bit of both.
After a moment or two of everyone getting situated in their spots and short little shared “hi’s” everyone was settled and they just swiftly pressed play on the movie, during which he adamantly remained silent, which during certain parts of the movie was hard as they had chosen maleficent and he could go on for hours about how wrong the kingdom did maleficent, even in the original movie.
___________
Around the third movie he had gotten tired, however, he didn’t want to fall asleep on Remus, where he had taken residence of leaning on pretty heavily because it was comfortable and Remus was so dreadfully clingy, but regardless, he still didn’t want to fall asleep on him in case he might need to get up, or simply move.
So he carefully shifted and pulled himself completely onto his designated spot which was luckily just on the side of Remus, trying desperately to not wake up the already magically asleep side as he did so, and he did! And he was honestly so relieved- and Roman was in the spot next to him, that’s alright, he’ll just have to make sure not lean on him either! It’ll be pretty easy.
But As the third movie turned to the fourth he realized that being tired and not leaning on anyone was easier said than done, he was trying, but it certainly wasn’t ‘pretty easy’ by any means as he was most definitely leaning on Roman right now, blinking his eyes hopelessly in the attempt to stay awake.
And that turns out to be pretty hard too as he finds out.
He tries so hard not to fall asleep, and a distant part of him finally realizes he’s leaning on Roman, practically to the point that if Roman wasn’t there he’d have immediately fallen, but he’s just too tired to even try and move.
After a couple of minutes which he could swear felt like hours he closed his eyes, trying to fight sleep off sleep but failing, he tries opening them again but they're ... so heavy and he’s so tired…
After a small moment Roman glances over to him, glancing back to the movie after a split second so he won’t scare him away by looking at him, before just blinking and fully looking at Janus, who was still trying desperately to fight the wave of sleep, and failing, Roman huffed a fond breath before smiling, and kissing a small kiss to Janus’s forehead as he sees him try and open his eyes again, which seems to if nothing else pause his fight in drowsy confusion, but then he’s about to open his eyes again to try and see what happened and Roman just very softly goes “sleep darling, it’s alright, you're safe, I’ll protect you.”
And he didn’t know if that would really work or make him more confused but he can only feel fond relief swirling As Janus gives a sleepy little smile before finally letting himself cease in his fight and succumb to sleep, and as his heart rate evens out roman can’t help but smile, especially as he noticed him becoming more cuddly in his unconscious state.
Before Janus finally drifts off to those small soft soothing words he realized,
Maybe,
Just maybe, everything might really be okay in the end.
And then he’s asleep, not seeing how everyone’s gaze softens when they see the sight, not seeing how Roman wraps his arm around him and gently taps Remus’s hand to show him, not seeing how bright Remus’s smile is as he realizes yeah, he really will be okay, before sliding a blanket over Janus’s shoulders and happily passing back out. and not hearing as the others take their turns offering kind words of love and affection to not even just him but Remus too, and not seeing how they all adamantly stay there with him and Remus, and as they too, slowly begin, one by one, falling asleep..
Janus wasn’t exactly sure how he had found himself in this new corridor, he knew he had been wandering aimlessly, so incredibly bored, while everyone was busy helping Thomas and just generally doing their own thing, and somehow, during that aimless wandering and not watching where he was going he had ended up in this dimly lit hallway, which was entirely too cold for his tastes, but before he could get too annoyed with the temperature his curiosity got the better of him and he decided to continue walking and investigate this new mysterious place.
And despite him not remembering ever being there, he had the strongest sense of déjà vu and it just got stronger and stronger as he got farther, everything seemed so familiar, from the smell to the texture of the popcorn wall, and even to the dimness of the lighting.
He, decidedly, hated it, he hated the feeling of just not knowing if he had been there before or not, or not knowing why the déjà vu was so strong, or why he had it at all, he hated everything about this, and he wanted answers.
Wait What was that-?
He stopped dead in his tracks as he caught a glimpse of a picture frame from out of the corner of his eye, it was a simple frame, a little scratched as it was practically hanging on its side with how much it was tilted, but that wasn’t really particularly interesting, what was interesting was the contents of the frame, a picture, of him and anxiety and.. a side he’d never seen before, the strange side looked tall compared to them and he had an odd silver streak in his hair, and Janus was already confused about how he hadn’t seen this new side but his confusion was added when he realized another detail, anxiety’s face was crossed out.
The picture at least somewhat explained why it was all so painfully familiar, even if he couldn't remember it, he had been there before, and that made sense, after all, he knew he had amnesia, he had been told that a little less than a month ago so he couldn’t really just forget it, especially when everywhere he looked king was gone and even though it was hushed it wasn’t particularly rare to overhear morality worrying about his whole amnesia thing to Logic, so technically it made sense.
he decided he wanted to learn more about this hallway and where it lead since he couldn’t remember being here, and it gave something to do, and now he had another mission; to find out why anxiety’s face was crossed out
He took a deep breath, trying to get into the mindset of a mystery-detective like the guy from logic’s show, and soon he was almost fully focused on his new mission, soon after he found a couple more photos, these one’s kind of coupled together, he grinned, before walking over to investigate them, proud, as he was convinced he was “on the trail” of why Anxiety's face was crossed out, though honestly, it could’ve very well just of been Anxiety not liking those photos of him anymore, but no! He wanted a mystery!
He shook his head again as he decided to continue down the corridor to see if he could find anything actually interesting.
After around four more minutes of slowly walking through the corridor trying to inspect every nook and cranny he deemed ‘suspicious’ he abruptly found himself in a living room, alike the other one he had been in less than an hour earlier in most every aspect except a little darker and surprisingly in this living room it was really warm, much warmer than the corridor.
And As he remained stunned he smelled something, he knew instantly he had smelled it before, it was so familiar it was painful, and he guessed In some aspect that made sense as he’d obviously been there before, he’d gathered that, but he couldn’t understand why his brain was just so focused on it, it was just the normal old-
His train of thought was cut off abruptly as the once forgotten memories started slamming their way back into the light all at once with no warning, starting with the things he smelled that his mind couldn’t get away from.
burnt popcorn.
He had been trying to get ready for his own movie night with the others but had just put the popcorn into the microwave and it had burned, he made a frustrated yell before just sighing as the mustached side smelled the popcorn and skipped into the kitchen, gleefully laughing as he scooped the bowl up, despite how burnt it was, and began happily snacking, Janus groaned and rolled his eyes before trying to redo-
Ink.
The green side came running in, laughing as he talked about some crazy and gory idea, which Janus should’ve been positively revolted by but instead he just fondly chuckled before he noticed the side was covered in ink, he barely had time to ask why before He was laughing maniacally as he sat down on the couch, causing a large ink stain, much to Janus’s absolute chagrin.
Iron.
He panicked as his green companion came back from the forest part of the imagination he’d left for previously, and into the living with yet another wound, this time smaller, but it still made its way of heavily soaking his side with blood, the side’s eyes grew glazed as he rushed over “Remus what happened are you-”
He didn’t like this, he really didn’t like this, can this be over yet? It had been less than a minute since he had walked into the room, but he couldn’t handle it, everything hurt, the smells, the lights, the noises, it could be nonexistent but it still hurt, everything was too loud and quiet at the same time, too bright and too dark, too much.
He wanted to go back to the others, he wanted a hug from mora- Patton, he wanted Logan to read to him again, he wanted to watch movies with Roman and Anxiety, he even wanted to hang out with the side- Remus, his mind screamed at him, he really just hated being alone here when everything was just so wrong, and he wanted to go home.
It took barely seconds of everything just being too much before he just started sobbing, his mind moving too quickly for him to be able to stop, all he could do was try desperately to cover his mouth with his hands and hope that would help quiet the sobs wracking his body but even then his arms and hands shook too hard to do anything, he couldn’t do anything, he couldn’t even breathe, his chest felt like it was on fire, it was pure agony. distantly he heard footsteps enter the room and slowly approach, signifying that someone was there, and he couldn’t help but begin shaking more at the realization that someone was there, because he wanted someone so desperately to tell him everything would be okay but at the same time even the idea of anyone seeing him right now terrified him.
He hated this, he just wanted everything to stop, he wanted the memories which he was too overwhelmed with to even process to stop flooding his head, he wanted to be able to breathe, he didn’t want to be sobbing in the middle of the floor, holding his knees to his chest so tightly his knuckles were going white- wait when did he sit on the floor? Did he fall? Was that why the person came to him?
He hiccupped through the sobs and as if on cue with these thoughts the figure he had heard coming finally stood in front of him, increasingly unsure of what to do.
He barely had to catch a glimpse of the side before his mind started screaming at him again.
Remus Remus Remus Remus Remus Remus Remus Remus-
And that just scared him so much more in his state, the only thing that comforted him, if only slightly was when his mind, along with that, started yelling safe, so he, as a last-ditch attempt for help, very carefully looked up at this side, who he knew but didn’t know, and wordlessly stretched his arms up at him shakily, pleading.
And Remus didn’t hesitate for a second before gently lifting him up off the cold floor and holding him protectively to his chest, and if Janus wasn’t sobbing before he definitely was now with the newly added and overwhelming but much-needed pressure, “Remus- Remus Remus- Remus-“ he hiccupped -“Remus- Remus..” he continued helplessly whispering Remus’s name into his shoulder, mirroring his thoughts from just moments before.
And his voice was just so soft, lost, and scared it was heartbreaking for Remus just to hear, sure he had seen Janus cry and be distressed before, he had pretty much grown up with him it came with the territory, but this was different, he was pretty sure with just the slightest touch Janus could shatter into a million pieces- like glass! He wondered what that looked like, he wondered if it would have blood and guts on the fragile pieces of glass that would be fun! it could go splat and It would go everywhere- He mentally cringed, at any other moment with any other person he’d probably Grin and say it out loud to see what reaction he'd get but- not right now, not with Janus, his best friend of so many years, who reached out to him, him.
looking for comfort from Remus didn’t know what, even if he couldn’t do anything but hold him close like when they were younger and hope that what constantly happened in his mind wasn’t happening in Janus’s, making his mind suffer from awful images of everything at all times.
He needed to go to the imagination and finally hunt down and kill whatever hurt Janus in there and lead him to this, he wondered if Roman would help him track it down-
He shook his head harshly, right now that didn’t matter, he could do that later, right now Janus was still in his arms wracking his body with sobs as he whispered Remus’s name, almost like he was trying to make sure the name meant something, and all Remus could do was hold him close as he made his way to sit on the couch, and hope just the contact was enough.
He’d make sure Janus never suffered like this again.
Patton knew individually both Virgil and Janus were very strong spirits, and he had learned over the past couple weeks that together they were.. well, chaotic, but surely
surely.
It wouldn’t be normal for them to do- well whatever they did, Patton could only guess as roman chased them, covered in a sparkly goop, and yelling a couple of nonsense phrases as well as what Patton could only make out as “undo it!”
He really hoped it wouldn’t be normal.
Patton pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing to himself, before taking pity on both poor Roman and the flooring which was ever so slowly being fully covered with the goop as well, he loudly coughed to get their attention, having the intended effect of having them all halt in there running, “did you two do this?” He asked in his practiced and patented dad voice, already pretty certain he knew the answer but still asking anyway.
Janus immediately piped up, taking the attention from Virgil who had actually not fully stopped and had kept slowly side-stepping away from roman “No!” He told him insistently, not wanting him or Virgil to get in trouble and have the invite of movie night be rescinded, it was the first time it was calm enough and no one was too busy for one, which meant it was his first movie night, he didn’t want to miss it! still despite his very best attempt it was very very, abundently clear to Patton that he was lying, which wasn’t as big a surprise as Janus wished it would be, after all, he was a very shifty character.
the effort made Patton make sure to be soft with his tone however before he was just about to reply Virgil spoke up to talk to Janus, “dee patt’s smart enough to know we did it- and even if he didn’t would you really wanna not take credit for the awesome prank?” He asked vaguely motioning to Roman who was halfway across the room from him now.
Janus pouted- actually pouted and Patton couldn’t help but silently chuckle to himself, thankfully unnoticed by all other parties, and once he had stopped pouting he just turned around to face patton and immediately looked down to fiddle with his sleeves as he quietly went “okay.. we did, ‘m sorry” he said, focusing his attention on Patton.
“You don’t need to apologize to me, Roman’s the one who’s affected and deserves an apology.” he told him, and speaking of Roman, “Roman when you’re ready the bathroom should be free why don’t you take a shower, it doesn’t appear that the goo was made with just a snap,” Roman sighed loudly before nodding and Patton smiled at him before turning his attention once again to the two chaos bringers “now, you two clean the mess from when he was chasing after you and later you’ll have to help me with movie night preparation, sound relatively Fair?”
Virgil, Janus, and Roman mumbled a chorus of yes’s, Romans more prominent as he was happy to get some retribution for their crimes. Patton nodded- mostly to himself, “good.”
It would be days before he ended up admitting to the two that he actually found the prank kind of funny, because by then Roman, while still acting offended by the pure mention of it, everyone could tell that it was purely lighthearted and he was in no way mad.
It would be only hours though until he admitted it was adorable and so very sweet how much Janus had latched and pretty much imprinted onto Virgil, following him around like a little duckling, (and when Virgil was truly busy Roman was a close second, however, it didn’t seem to save him.)
_______
“..Roman why are you sparkly?”
“I don’t wanna talk about it.” roman grumbled back.
Patton chuckled as he listened to the short-lived conversation of the two from the kitchen, Virgil and Janus had been helping him with prepping everything for the movie night but as making popcorn was the last thing they needed to do (and they and Roman had gotten banned from the kitchen because while one of them had tried to make pasta while waiting for the plain water to heat up it somehow caught on fire) so he let them go, to do what they wanted to do until everyone gathered for the movie.
After a bit he was finally done popping it so he then sifted popcorn into the two bowls, one for just melted butter and salt for Logan and Virgil and one bowl with sugar and melted butter for Roman and himself and maybe Remus if he joined them, and Janus was welcome to both as Patton hadn’t really been able to memorize his favorite yet.
He smiled as walked out, quickly setting the popcorn bowls down onto the coffee table, before happily sitting and leaning into Roman’s side, he hummed quietly to himself as he waited for Virgil to come back down before he noticed that Janus was just standing there, near the tv not really doing something, barely even moving.
He took worry-filled moment to take a breath before just going “hey dee? You wanna sit down kiddo?” And Patting the spot next to him, he didn’t want him to feel like the odd one out and feel too awkward to sit down, so he wanted to offer a clear invitation just incase, logan had said he occasionally needed that.
Janus glanced at Patton momentarily, before shaking his head insistently “no, waiting,” He explained, well it might’ve been explaining to him but it gave much more questions than answers, and honestly it was kind of scaring Patton especially as he immediately went back to staring at a specific spot, and a long while back Virgil had introduced him to what weeping angels were, so now he was scared to look away when his kiddos stared at either him or a very specific spot that didn’t ever vary for a prolonged time.
After a bit Virgil came down and sat right next to Logan, who had been silently reading a book against the armrest,
Then the moment Virgil sat down and everybody got situated- not even a second later, Janus ran full force at the couch and threw himself onto them, eliciting a variety of startled yelps and shrieks from them, and after a moment of him just happily using all of theirs legs as pillows as they remained completely stunned, Roman, Logan, and Paton just started to make noises of both bewilderment and dramatic alarm, however, the former was more of Romans doing, despite the only Part of Janus that was even touching him was his arms, extended like a stretching cat, though honestly despite the earlier prank Patton felt like if it had been anyone else and not Janus who had done that Roman would make much more fanfare about the throwing themself at them at all, Patton smiled to himself at the notion before grabbing the remote and stretching to hand it to Logan, absentmindedly starting to card his fingers through Janus’s hair.
Janus smiled contently as he got comfortable, happy with just being so close to his family.
_______
It had been maybe two and a half movies before Patton looked around, about to tell them another movie-based pun before he realized that They all had fallen fast asleep, Roman’s head lulled to the side and leaning on him much more than patton realized, Virgil cuddling Logan closely, and Janus holding patton’s arm captive, close to his chest, Patton barely suppressed an adoring coo with just how adorable the scene was before he realized that one of them wasn’t asleep, though he wasn’t that far away from it.
He looked over to focus more on Logan, who was trying so hard to watch the movie, blinking his eyes open after they started drooping more than three times in a single minute.
Patton smiled fondly before quietly going “lo, dear, you should go to sleep,”
Logan paused as he processed his words before he gave Patton a sheepish- and very groggy- smile, then he looked down to his lap, doing his best to avoid eye contact, and Patton realized a very important thing as Logan mumbled “‘mm don’ wanna move,” because while Virgil was very cuddly currently, Logan was equally cuddly, and he appeared very content to be so.
Patton chuckled softly as he understood, before going to shake his head lovingly, “lo-lo you don’t have to go upstairs to go to bed, you can just go to sleep in the cuddle pile with us, I was just saying if you're sleepy it’d be good to go to sleep.”
Logan made a small little “oh” sound, making it abundantly obvious even if it wasnt already that he was too tired to of even considered that, before grinning so brightly and so groggily and happily collapsing into Virgil’s chest.
And Patton couldn’t see exactly but he wouldn’t be surprised if Logan instantly fell asleep, he gave a small chuckle before doing his best to cover everybody with the blankets they had gradually grabbed and brought over to the couch to make sure no one got cold in the middle of the night.
After he was done he grabbed the remote from where Logan had put it and turned the tv off, soon continuing to card his fingers through Janus’s hair with his non-stolen hand.
And as Janus just melted even more at the contact Patton’s heart just melted once.
It didnt take long for patton to start getting drowsy now that he didnt have something to pay attention to and soon Janus and Patton started to Have incoherent conversations, Patton didn't even know if he had partially awoken or if it was just mid-sleep mumbles, but it didn't matter because he wasn’t even forming real or coherent words either, suddenly too tired to even realize it.
And not long after he could only yawn as he tried to keep his eyes open, before just collapsing against Roman’s shoulder and being the final one to quickly doze off.
contents and warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, amnesia, kid!janus, Janus finally gets a hug himself, fluff,
____
Roman couldn’t help but exhale a breath as he finished up explaining the situation to Remus and Virgil, “Any questions?”
To his relief, no one said anything, Virgil just shrugging at the question. He counted that as a small victory, especially since he was awful at explaining the answers to most questions, actually, why did he keep getting posted at the task of telling people when he was so bad at it? both Patton and Logan would be better at it than him, he was sure of it.
His train of thought came to a halt when Remus spoke up abruptly, his voice both more steady and more serious than Roman’s ever heard it “if that’s the situation then I think I need to stay away from him if J-J started sobbing when he found out the old king-y dude was all-'' he made a slicing of his neck motion along with the noise to go with it -“then I can’t imagine what his reaction would be if my thoughts voiced themselves like they usually do, while around him. So unless he actually asks for me, which I don’t think’ll happen, I’ll just hang out in the dark side, ooh! and I can experiment with the stuff that got banned for melting the floors! I wonder what would happen if I put it in cupcakes-“ he giggled maniacally to himself at the realization no one would be there to supervise him.
Roman cut him off, “I think for the most part your right, I don’t know how much he can handle right now, and we don’t want to overwhelm him, so yeah okay, Though I’ll make sure they’ll be someone to check on you so your not completely to your own devices because I imagine Janus wouldn’t want his room smelling like chemicals and.. whatever else you use for your... art projects.” He told him, ignoring the last bit of what Remus said. Honestly Roman was kind of proud of his brother, he was a lot more caring and considerate than he let on.
he gave him a small smile before quietly going “I’m glad Janus has you as a friend, you care about him.”
Remus rolled his eyes like a petulant teenager, it wasn’t like he was doing something super amazing for Janus Afterall, he was just being a generally decent person, he knew his presence might hurt Janus currently so he wasn’t actively going to be around him for a minute and sure yeah he cared about him but he cared for the sentiment slime goop in his room too so it wasn’t that big a deal.
As Roman and Remus continued their conversation Virgil slipped out of the room silently, unnoticed. not offering a reason for leaving.
____
Janus walked down the corridor, fingers brushing against the walls, feeling the textures, every now and then the paint changed into a different color, he would guess it was Morality and Roman’s doing since it often went from soft light blues to vibrant reds, making only small breaks to show swirly designs in purples and dark blues. he liked to feel how the different paint changed the texture, even ever so slightly, it was kinda cool to him, and it was something to do while Roman and the others were busy-
Ow
he reeled back immediately as soon as he felt his face slam into someone, luckily it didn't hurt much as the crash was cushioned with soft fabric, regardless though embarrassment still curled up and made itself at home in the pit of his stomach as the realization of he ran into someone finally dawned on him.
After the initial shock subsided, he just started apologizing profusely “I’m sorry! I’m so so sorry!! I didn’t mean to run into you! Are you- are you okay?” He asked as he finally looked up to see who the side he ran into was,
Their face was pale and freckle-clad and.. he knew him!
He gasped excitedly as he began giddily clapping his hands “wait! Hi!! Anxiety I remember you!” He grinned, ignoring how anxiety still hadn’t spoken up, he used to be very quiet so maybe he’s just still like that, either way, he continued “actually Wait- I remember you with a different jacket.. but! I like this one. It's cool!! I like the purple patches!- oh!! Also, guess what! morality and Logic have names! Isn’t that cool?”
Virgil shrugged and Janus took that as an invitation to continue.
“Do you have a name too? I bet if you do it’s cool! Like Ummm… uh- what’s a cool name?” He pondered aloud, not able to think of anything besides names like thor-Bonecrusher or other stuff of that variety.
Anxiety once again shrugged and Janus accepted that well enough; maybe anxiety just didn’t have a name, so Janus didn’t push, but he did continue chattering on happily enough.
At some point, Virgil started to continue walking, if slowly, down the hallway, to where he was trying to go originally, Janus immediately following him like an excited golden retriever puppy as he talked about.. hell knows what, Virgil couldn’t keep track. But regardless of that, honestly, Virgil didn’t think he minded Janus’s presence as much as he thought he would, he was fully willing to just avoid him when He left the conversation with Roman and Remus, not because he would accidentally harm Janus like Remus- well he might Virgil.. tended to be way to blunt but sometimes with things that annoy him, and earlier he was pretty certain Janus would only annoy him, hell, earlier all he wanted to do was avoid Janus because he knew he was still Janus and quite honestly he didn’t want to deal with Janus.
Though honestly Janus himself, while kind of annoying and overdramatic, wasn’t.. awful, like Virgil pretended he was, he inwardly sighed before just ignoring that specific train of thought, something he was actually pretty accustomed and successful at doing.
As he got around to tuning back into what Janus was doing all he heard silence, which given any other time he may have been happy for But this silence is almost.. somber? He looked over quickly and found Janus looking at the floor as he walked, though much slower than before, hell now he was actually walking a distance behind Virgil.
He was already looking at Janus but he could only double-take as he heard a small voice go “I’m sorry…” it trailing off after a minute before continuing, obviously unsure of what it had done wrong but assuming it’d done something “I- I don’t know what I did but I’m sorry! I don’t wanna be mean I promise! If you just tell me what I did I won’t do it again I promise! I’ll be nice! I- ‘m sorry.. ’m sorry..” his voice cracked and got smaller as he wrung his hands nervously.
And Virgil could only quietly go “shit I messed up.” because he could recognize the signs as much as anyone that Janus was halfway to spiraling, and honestly, Virgil couldn’t blame him after all they were walking a very long 15 minutes because somehow the hallway went on forever, and Virgil doesn’t know 90% of what Janus said because he just stopped listening and on top of that he hadn’t even spoken a word to the kid- and that was weird to think of him as a kid, but he was, he was an impressionable, anxious kid who desperately wanted other people to like him, and that on top of anything meant he probably thought Virgil was just ignoring him for something he didn’t even remember doing.
And he could only panic quickly as Janus’s eyes remained dead set on the floor, and he didn’t know if Janus was trying to disappear into it or if it was him trying to hide the fact his eyes were starting to get glossy with unshed tears because he wholeheartedly thought Virgil hated him- and oh fuck he really did fuck up.
He tried to think of what Patton did to comfort him and in an act of pure panic brain, he scooped him up in a secure hug and hoped that would help.
The result was Janus going almost limp before starting to dry hiccup as he tried to force the tears away after a moment he just confusedly went “but- but you didn’t wanna talk to me And you were ignoring me and you looked really annoyed and-“ he started wiggling from Virgil’s hold “no- wait don’t worry you don’t have to be nice to me if you don’t like me- I promise you don’t have to!” He rushed in telling him, trying to scramble so he wasn’t leaning on Virgil and Jesus this was almost as bad as when they all went to Virgil’s room with how anxious Janus was, he could practically feel the anxiety radiating off.
And he realized he really did have to actually talk to Janus, he wasn’t gonna get less anxious just by getting a hug, Virgil wasn’t Patton he didn’t have that magical ability, so he loosened his hold on Janus just enough to get Janus to stop trying to accidentally on purpose fall onto the floor before just going “I don’t dislike you,” and just those words alone made Janus go completely still, so Virgil continued “and I didn’t mean to Ignore you I just got lost in thought, though that’s definitely not an excuse, because even if I didn’t mean to I did, but the important part is i- I like you,” he told him, not confidently, because while he knew he would be lying if he said he disliked him he didn’t have enough time to sort through his emotions to confidently say he liked him.
But regardless of how uncertain Virgil sounded, Janus still looked up at him with eyes so filled with hesitance but also soft gentle hope as he shakily went “promise? No lies?”
Virgil offered a small smile, “promise, no lies.” He repeated and Janus barreled into him in a hug,
And As Virgil wrapped his arms around the shortest side for the second time in five minutes which has got to be some kind of record- he realized hey he was a lot better at this whole comforting thing than he thought he would be, which wasn’t really saying a lot but hey.
After a while of just standing there, the awkwardness and strain of standing still in a random hallway motivated Janus to unwrap his arms from around Virgil and retrieve his face from his being buried in Virgil’s chest.
And that only made it more awkward because now they were both just standing in the hallway literally just staring at each other.
So Janus, deciding he hated when stuff was awkward just went “do you know anything fun to do? I’m bored and morality and Logic and Roman are all busy.”
Virgil visibly thought to himself about options before going “are you in a movie mood or music mood? Or if you’re in none of them we might just have to kidnap Roman and see if he has ideas.”
Janus hummed before just happily going “I like music!” practically bouncing on the balls of his feet.
Virgil smiled before he got an idea, “do you like my chemical romance?” He asked and Janus seemed confused at what that was but eventually decided if Virgil liked it then Janus will like it too, so Janus just nodded in reply and just Virgil grinned.
——
Later Logan had to ask them to quiet down because he needed to work and couldn’t focus and he was almost certain that they were gonna damage their eardrums since he could hear the loud shouts of the lyrics coming from the speakers while in the kitchen, though, even if he failed at getting them to turn it down he was glad they were getting along, Janus was practically bouncing with how gleeful he was, even Virgil had a small smile on his face, so logan supposed even if later they had headaches from the blasting music as long as they were still happy it would be okay in the long run.
