Hilaryyyyy your Old Guard fic has ruined my life as I knew it would. When I found it on ao3 yesterday, let out an irl cackle and had to constantly remind myself to wait until the work day was over to begin reading (the joys and perils of working from home in these Covid times, gotta stay on top of my shit myself). [1/7]
Now I've been following you for years (if this can be a timestamp: one of the earliest fic of yours that I can recall reading was a Gladiator-style Captain Swan piece that truly and physically ripped my heart to shreds. Like: real life chest pain) and thought I knew what I was getting into. I know you're a historian so I figured this would be rich with (accurate!) detail. It was that and more: so immersive, so /educational/, so everything. [2/7]
And this is all before getting into the Nicky/Joe of it all. I read through a lot of the ao3 comments as well (is that weird? I wasn't ready to leave the space the fic created yet so I kept the ball rolling in a different way) and like I saw a couple people mention, the characterizations went differently than I had envisioned yet felt so right, I was sold. [3/7]
The thing about the movie that grabbed me (amongst the other 283737 things that I loved) was how, in every scene, in every way, yet without ever beating us over the head with it: Joe and Nicky just /fit/. Like the sky is blue, the Earth is round, Joe and Nicky were made for each other. [4/7]
Now I have shipped many a couple in my old age, but this has been the quietest, most solid love story I've witnessed, without it even being the focus of the movie and once the 2 hours flew by, I knew I needed a prequel, a sequel, and a 6+ season series and to know all that is and ever was about these two. (And Andy and Booker and Quynh, but that is not where I am going with this ramble). [5/7]
The way you took them from their start to the end in 1995 had me hooked and I just want to thank you for it. You treated them as individuals made it understandable why they are so perfect for each other by the time we meet them in the movie. They were just so real and I loved it. [6/7]
I don't even know how to end this unending word spiral (and if I've lost you, don't worry because I'm pretty sure I lost myself at this point) but I just want to say that: I know you are a historian, I know you are a writer, yet this amazed me and I hope you never have doubts that those two endeavours are your calling. Thank you for the art! 🙏🏻 [7/7]
Oh wow, this is so long and so lovely, thank you so much. (Also, may I applaud your Mad Skills in knowing that this would take 7 asks to send; I am impressed by that and even more by the fact that Tumblr didn’t eat any of them, as I’m sure it was longing to do.)
As I said to another follower since the Captain Swan days: truly, I must thank you for putting up with God knows what and God knows how many spirals and new ships and hyperfixations since then (that started like... 8 years ago Jesus Christ). And yes, aha, When in Rome was like one of my earlier or at least early-ish fics for them, and was known for causing pain back then (I come by my url honestly). Memories.
As for how I characterized Joe and Nicky in their backstories: I don’t tend to read TONS of fanon (usually just what pops up on my dash) so I can’t speak to how they’re characterized in other fics, but for me, I am always a Ho for that sweet sweet character development, and for exploring how characters are flawed, how they change and grow, how their experiences affect them, and how they begin in one place and end in another. (Plus, we know that I also love me some of that Trash Man Character Development, especially if they’re actively trying harder to be a good person.) I’m also very invested in the idea that kindness a) isn’t just being passive and letting things happen to you, but requires action and fierceness and commitment and other things that usually come to you by experience, and b) that it’s a choice you make and have to keep making. So obviously we see Nicky struggle and grow with that over the centuries and even after everything that happens to him (and with Joe as well, of course; they both have to do it in their own ways), but that’s not necessarily where he starts out in 1099 and it’s something that has to come to him over (many, many) years. He’s a good man, but it’s raw, and it’s messy, and all this obviously horrible stuff is happening to both of them, and that’s not the easiest way to be constantly optimistic. When he’s still optimistic about things in 1995, it’s despite everything he’s seen, and which he has had to consciously choose over and over, the same way all of them have.
Likewise, not of course to rain on anyone’s parade who headcanons the two of them getting together in the First Crusade itself, but I just could not possibly imagine that happening. There’s just too much that they have to go through with their realizations about immortality and about each other and the sack of Jerusalem and everything else, and of course they’d run away and drag their feet and have shock and trauma over it and etc. (Besides, I need me a good enemies to lovers with proper buildup, so yes.) Their entire WORLD comes unglued and I wanted to process that properly for both of them as individuals before moving to writing them as a couple, and anyway. Yes. Of course they had to take a hundred years to figure their shit out and work through their emotions and come to a place where they could get together and then continue to make choices both for themselves and for each other.
.... the point is, I love them. I love them so very much and you’re right, they just FIT, they’re meant for each other, I adore every bit of the cheesy romantic tropes they’re given and I eat them up with a gd spoon. It just Hits Different when it’s the star-crossed immortal enemies to lovers One True Love romantic fairytale gay crusaders couple, ya feel? (As once more, I ruefully reflect how PAINFULLY they are exactly my type. And I also need all the content. Immediately.)
Anyway. I will likewise curtail this ramble here, but thanks again, and I’m so glad that you enjoyed it!
