My Wild Ride with Anaphylaxis OCD
In the beginning, I had an OCD obsession that anything I ingested, such as food stereotypically associated with allergies or new medicine, would trigger anaphylaxis. It was a fear that ate away at me systematically for years. I would have to scan my body for hours for signs of anaphylaxis after starting new medications, etc.
There were certain things I took comfort in. One of these was the knowledge that anaphylaxis usually hits within the first hour. The other was that psychiatric medication was highly unlikely to cause anaphylaxis.
Years passed. No anaphylaxis. I eventually obtained effective therapy for the fear and I stopped being afraid of anaphylaxis. Period.
Flash forward to this past spring. I take caplyta, a psychiatric medication I had previously tolerated, and I lay down to take a nap about an hour or two after taking it. And then
I get fucking anaphylaxis.
It hit about three-four hours post ingestion.
I was so unprepared for this situation I had feared for most of my life that I thought I had a completely different life threatening reaction called neuroleptic malignant syndrome. This was after I spent ten minutes telling myself my inability to breathe and stand up and my skin turning red/feeling like it was on fire was my usual dysautonomia being really severe.
I went into shock so bad I had internal bleeding in my Gi system. There was a point where I was pretty sure I was about to die. BP was life threateningly low.
Now what the fuck do I do? The OCD obsession is back worse than it ever was. I sometimes get flashbacks I'm having anaphylaxis again if I take a medication on the couch I collapsed on or the bed I fell asleep on as the reaction initially built up.
Why the fuck was my OCD right that I really need to look out for this situation. Also it turns out I had undiagnosed mast cell activation syndrome the whole time (which was finally diagnosed after this incident), have been having increasingly severe allergies to most antibiotics that I told myself was normal side effects, and basically have been at risk of anaphylaxis for my whole life. And now I'm terrified of the class of meds meant to treat my anxiety.