#ancestry test

[harrietmjones]

Got my results from AncestryDNA a few months ago and was surprised to find out that I have just under a quarter Irish ancestry.

Feel honorary Irish, though I’ll always be Welsh by name and in my heart. ❤️

[bequeerdodopemonkshit]

23 and Me Revealed A Family Secret

Some content warnings, This story will probably contain mentions of drug use, trauma, and abuse (it turns out it was just brief little mentions and nothing in detail). But it has a happy ending. I promise.

the tl;dr version is that I took a DNA test and found out the man I thought was my biological father for 35 years was not my bio dad.

Sup, Internet.

This is a story that people always want me to go deeper into when the subject of DNA tests is brought up and I mention this little tidbit.

So I'll give a truncated version of events, which is still pretty long

I didn't meet my dad until I was 30. And when I met him, I was able to get a more complete version of the circumstances that led to my birth.

My mom was sorta seeing two guys at the time. One seriously, who happens to be the worst human on the planet. And my dad, who was married but separated with an infant son.

I was born and my mom told the docs that I'm the worst guy's kid. I had his last name for a while. He's still listed as my father on my birth certificate. However, my mom also tells both men that they are the dad. One of them is because she's locked into an abusive cycle that she can't get out of. And the other is because she genuinely believes that is my biological father.

That being said, she did also tell both men at one point that they were not my father. But for the worst of them it was confirmed when I was 12 via a blood test.

I grew up hearing stories about my dad. That he was a good person though a little weird. Like me, my sister would say. But we didn't know each other.

And then he found me on Facebook. And I went out to meet him on my 30th birthday. And we are very similar. Because believe me, I was looking for anything that would link me to this dude after a lifetime of not really fitting in with my siblings who both bear an uncanny resemblance to our mother.

Well me and my dad both take our coffee the same (lots of cream, and lots of sugar), we both have an odd sense of humor, our alignment for both of us is chaotic stupid, and we both have a thing for emotionally unavailable women who give off the vibe that they may leave us hollowed out husks of people should they ever leave.

In short, I really believe I was a lost daughter who finally found her dad.

Sidenote: There's a story about my dad and me. I was a baby. I was sick and stuffed up, having some trouble breathing through my nose. They forgot that thing that helps clear a baby's nose. So my dad sucked the snot out of my nose and then spit it out and yelled out...

And when I told him this story he made this face...

Anyway, cut to a few years later. And I'm thinking of changing my name to something that better suits my gender identity and also gets rid of the names that my mom gave to me when she was trying to convince herself I was someone else's kid.

So I approach each of my parents but for different reasons.

With my dad, I wanted to know what he wanted to name if he had gotten the chance. Well, he says he always wanted my middle name to be Nicole. So we could be Nikki and Ricky. So my nickname came before my actual name. (Which is another cute story about how my little brother named me) And I wanted to get his blessing to take his last name. Which he granted.

With my mom, I wanted to know if she was positive beyond a reasonable doubt that my dad was actually my bio dad before I did this. She said she was quote "1000% sure" that my dad was my bio dad. (Which as someone who grew up watching Maury on my sick days from school, should have made me suspicious but it's my mom and I love my mom and honestly you'll see why she answered this way, later).

So I went with the name change. I went with Nikko, which is the name of a city in Japan as a first name. My father's last name. And took my grandmother's maiden name as a middle name.

Cut to my elder brother, my dad's son, getting an Ancestry.com test. He found out some things and shared it with me. I found out that my dad's family came to PR in the 1850s from Valencia, Spain. And it made me interested in taking a DNA test as well. But I didn't want to take it with the same service my brother took it, because I didn't want to find out and I quote "That my dad is not my dad from the fucking internet."

**their last words...

Well, fast forward to me choosing 23 and Me instead. I got my kit, spit into a tube, sent it off, and two weeks later I got my results.

22% African (Mostly West African) 23% Asian and Pacific Islander (Mostly Japanese) 42% European (Mostly Spanish from the Canary Islands) 6% Indigenous American

So outside of it not saying Southeast Spain this pretty much tracked with what I knew. However... there was something that stood out. There was a section telling me that my Caribbean ancestry was out of two places. Puerto Rico and the Dominican Republic. Which was weird. As far as I knew, my dad is 100% Puerto Rican.

But this still wasn't a smoking gun.

That would come when I looked at my "close relatives". There were a few 3rd cousins, a lot of 5th cousins. But there was only one really close relative.

And it said:

Some guy who wasn't my dad's name. Identical DNA: 50% Possible Match: Father

I had my platonic life mate (one of them) study these results to make sure I reading this correctly. And she was like...

So I called my mom first just to get some insight.

Me: Mom, so my DNA came back.

Mom: Oh, really? What did it say?

Me: Well, it said a lot of things and it was surprising.

Mom: Like what?

Me: Well, first it says that I'm 42% European.

Mom: So you're like almost half-white.

Me: No. That's not how that works. But that's not the most surprising.

Mom: Ok. What else was surprising?

Me: It said that my dad is not my dad. It says that it's some dude named {redacted}.

Mom: What? I have never meet anyone named that. That doesn't even sound like a real name. Are you sure you're reading it right?

Me: Mom, it says I share 50% identical DNA with this man. I'm pretty sure that means he is in fact my bio father.

Mom: I... I... I have to let you go. We'll talk later. Don't read too much into this. 23 and Me is lying. Ok, bye. (Hangs up)

Ok so Mom was not helpful. So I call up my brother. He's younger than me so I don't know what I expecting but the convo went like this.

Me: Hey brother. So my DNA results came back.

Bro: Oh, word?

Me: Yup. (I tell him the results)

Bro: 42% European? So you're basically half white?

Me: I'm half Hispanic. Specifically Puerto Rican and Dominican.

Bro: Dominican? But I thought your dad was like my dad, 100% Puerto Rican.

Me: Which brings me to why I called, turns out, he's not my dad.

Bro: Oh shit. You talk to Mom?

Me: She was the first person I called.

Bro: What did she say?

Me: That I was reading the results wrong and she doesn't remember anyone by that name.

Bro: Well, Mom was on a lot of drugs at that time. But I'll try and talk to her and calm her down.

Me: Thanks. I love you.

Bro: Love you too.

My brother helped me calm down enough to call my sister who was actually old enough to know a lot of what happened around the time I was born. So I call her.

Me: Hey sister. I got my DNA results back.

Sis: Oh? What did it say?

Me: (I tell her)

Sis: So we were right. You have been secretly white this whole time.

Me: Why is that what everyone says? Mom and Brother said the same thing. Just about. But also super not the point of this phone call. I'm calling you to say that it also said that my dad is not my dad.

Sis: ...

Me: ...

Sis: So who is your dad?

Me: Some guy named {redacted}. But Mom says that she doesn't remember him.

Sis: She should fucking remember him. He came around during that wild weekend she had. And he's the one who got to hang out on Friday and Sunday.

Me: Well, on one of those days, I was conceived.

Sis: Damn, Sister.

Me: Yeah, it would have been better if you had been right about me being half alien instead.

Sis: ...

Me: ...

Sis: Ok, so looking back on it and considering this new information, telling you that for your whole life was pretty mean and I'm sorry.

We hang up and I'm just sitting there surrounded by burning wreckage of my family history like...

I talked to my dad later, and he told me to leave it alone. Like he basically said,

"You have my last name. You're my child. Leave this alone."

But I couldn't do that.

And so I emailed this guy who I share 50% of my DNA with and hoped that he wasn't an asshole.

Our text exchanges on the 23 and Me site went something like...

Me: Hi, I'm Nikko and I just took a DNA test and it came up that you might be my biological father. I understand if you don't want to reach back out but I was just wondering if you knew a woman named {redacted} around September of 1984?

Him: Yeah. I worked with her on {the same Marine base my dad was also stationed at because my mom likes to live dangerously.} But you're my child? Really?

Me: I think so? That's what the DNA results say.

Him: That's so cool! I always wanted to have kids but my wife didn't. So we never had any. When's your birthday?

Me: (I tell him)

Him: Really? We have the same birthday! That's amazing. Can I call you? I just want to talk.

And so we did. I found out that I'm grandparents only grandchild. I have a bio aunt who is dope as fuck. And I have a cousin who was blacklisted from holding down a job in PR for being too radical.

Each thing he told me, I could connect to myself or find some kind of comfort in.

I'm the middle child on my mom's side and it was easy for me to get lost in the shuffle. Suddenly I had all of this attention from my other side of the family and it was all mine. And I didn't have to share it.

I, like my titi, am also a dope as fuck auntie. And like my cousin, I've been banned from certain places for having too radically left politics.

And most importantly, I had another dad. Well, I had a dad already and now I had a papi too. One who loves me as much as the man I now refer to as my Soul Dad.

And even my mom eventually came around. She wrote me a long letter explaining her side of things. How she had been really lost when I was born, how she tried to make people love her by making herself physically available. All things I could understand. She didn't continue the conversation with me because she was afraid that I was judging her. But I wasn't. I love my mom. And although at the age of 35 I found I was the result of my mom's dirty 30 birthday celebration that lasted a whole damn week and involved at least four dudes, I didn't judge her for that. I didn't even judge her for deciding to keep me.

I have three good parents out of this whole deal. So...

[whitepassingpocs]

Just a lil' vent but: my mom is biracial and tells me im not enough to ID with her non yt heritage even tho when i was younger she used to tell me that im not that white and i could ID w/ that heritage. but since shes gotten a dna test, which showed that she has a higher % yt than non yt, i can no longer claim it. its really messed w/ my perception of who i am i guess. I went from being a part of my moms culture to: not enough any more. I really wish she never took that test lmfao

hey friend i am so sorry this is happening to you omg but ftr there’s loads and loads of evidence (check out vox’s videos on dna testing) that those tests are not accurate and even if they were no one and nothing has the right to tell you how you can or cannot claim your own identity that is rightfully yours, not even your mum. i am so sorry. 

[warmbeebosoftbeebo]

b’s ethnic ancestry: “i’m just a mutt”

starts about 6:33. 

56.8% british/irish, especially scottish “some of my irish ancestors were fucking it up in scotland, dude”

12.5% netherlands

5.7% filipino [and australasian--was this it’s own separate category with it’s own percentage or part of filipino?]

2.8% scandinavian

8.1% east asian and native american

1.2% melanesian

2% southeast asian

but somehow 89% european what? did i hear that wrong? isn’t he over 1/6 polynesian/asian by the math above? or are some low per centage categories part of other larger per centage ones?

ps b is glad he’s not a hairy dude

[theladyregret]

My mom got me one of those expensive dna ancestors test kits for my birthday. I wish she’d just sent me the money she spent on it instead because my brother already took one...

Is there some reason she thinks mine will be different from my brothers??

[methylationtest]

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[unleash-the-krayken]

My DNR ancestry results. Not surprised but still very much interested. So it says 73,1% Baltic and 26,9% Eastern Europe. 😁

[unleash-the-krayken]

Let's do this! Gonna be interesting to get ancestry results!