#and bitterness

[thesean]

[recordmcqueen]

Today's theme is Choke by IDKHOW except im not sure if the person im urging to choke is Those Individuals or myself,,

[manesalex]

I’m seeing a lot of bitter reblogs in your tumblr after 205 and the only thing I have to say about it is: welcome to the club!

Thanks, Nonnie! TBH, I’ve been bitter for a while. I just usually keep it off of tumblr, because I’m not fond of the drama, the discourse, or the specific personalities it brings out of the woodwork. It’s better for my mental health to let anger fuel my writing or to express it with a handful of trusted friends.

All that said, I’m optimistic about the distant future where my otp is concerned (though less so about Alex outside of the ship). But that doesn’t mean I have to be happy about the choices the writers are making. And I’m not. I love the characters and I feel like the writers aren’t doing right by some of them. So fic!

Anyway, thank you again for the ask! I hope you’re doing well and enjoying the salt.

[sophiechoir]

Thoughts from Mass 5/10/20 (5th Sunday of Easter, Mother’s Day)

@ St. Hubert’s

(a bit salty today lol)

Spring <3 a day teary with beauty

Mary with a crown of flowers

There are many rooms in my Father’s house/do not be afraid and have no doubt <3

Word -> action/government/structure

More about the priesthood (what a sausagefest :/)

Don’t! show! the! empty! pews!

The holy pause, the holy silence, Dumiel [The Silence of God]? no, because it is we who are silent, not God

Let us build a house of living stone (song)

Sorry, I can’t be filled with the Holy Spirit and be a living stone and all that. I’m but a lowly, stupid, inherently incapable or less capable female. I’m forever a *widow* to be taken care of by these “spiritually exemplary” men. Bah!

>They *widow* us! / Widowed by the church

“Do not let your hearts be troubled... In my father’s house, there are many dwelling-places... Where I am, you also may be.”

“I am the Father and the Father is in me.”

Not the way *to* Jesus/God, but *in* Him, *of* Him, that *is* Him

>Eucharist

“We can’t go to the place we’ve always gone to be with Christ” :(

see the Host at a distance - meant to go deeper into us

“The Eucharist is the *fullest* expression of our communion with God”

>I’m hungry, I’m growing empty

I’m a mighty pebble in the house of the Lord. A mighty, living bit of gravel - a speck of stone dust

The inner room - within - that *wants*

God will always be with his people - and surely that must mean all of humanity-?

>is there ever or will there ever be a point where a single person is beyond the reach of God? outside of God? beyond God’s love?

I still don’t quite believe in prayer - collective prayer, at least - in the power of prayer to really affect anything in the world. Perhaps personally, individually. But never for any major things. Another one of my shortcomings.

I love You above all things. I desire to unite myself wholly to You. The *desire* for Communion

Sometimes I imagine if I were to end up alone when I’m older I’d join a large convent full of lively spiritual study and community. My days would be filled with learning and worship, united in study, working together through doubts and disconnects, cheerfully helping one another along our journey to truth through Christ. Daily Mass. Working with hands and mind. Oh, it’s be far more of an indulgence than any sort of sacrifice. 

But I’d rather not end up alone; or, I’d rather be in a partnership of love than a sisterhood of love.

Who am I kidding. They’d never let me become a nun lol. For many reasons, of course, but definitely one specific love-related one. How that realization breaks my heart

[hxroccmplex-archived]

    Judas was spoiled growing up. His species saw him as a God among Gods, he was the savior of earth and therefore, their savior. Judas was able to get anything he wanted without a moments notice; Except for a choice. He was never able to make friends, interact on a deep basis with another of his kind except for his caretakers, nor does he know his own parents or siblings. He was always taught his only purpose was to save the people that lived on the surface. Save them, and eventually, die for them. 

While others would view this as heroic, Judas sees it as anything but. His fate has left him bitter, and another reason why he has such a disdain for humanity. Judas doesn’t want to die for someone he doesn’t deem worthy, nevertheless billions of people he doesn’t deem worthy. Not only was he forced to believe his purpose was for heroism, but that his destiny was to sacrifice himself. 

Spoiled, yes. But never able to indulge in things with deeper meanings. Even now, that he has some ounce of freedom to do as he pleases, Judas still doesn’t allow himself to experience all that life has to offer. When he’s not doing the bare minimum of his work, he’s eating or more likely, sleeping. Life is not luxury he’s able to have, so why live it? He lives in perpetual boredom and a deeply rooted mindset that there’s nothing out there for him other than living for others, then death.

[zyx]

interesting how most xingmis are bi(tter)

[equalistmako]

cant wait to ring in the new year alone