"We appreciate that we have a privilege to be as obnoxiously loud and gay as we are on this podcast. … We have a responsibility to be as gay and annoying as possible."
DATE ISSUED: Bloomingtide 21
TARGET: Ayla Thorne
REASON: Assault of a magister
ISSUED BY: Knight-Commander Lenos
IDENTIFIERS
AGE: 32
HEIGHT: 5'1”
WEIGHT: 125 lbs
HAIR: Black
EYES: Blue
INCIDENT
MINRATHOUS - On the 21st of Bloomingtide, the suspect was witnessed entering the Imperial Senate chambers during active session. Magisters observed the individual angrily muttering curses so foul we cannot rightly put them to print. When approached, the suspect became verbally aggressive and threatened to “give them something to really piss and moan about,” just before slandering Magister Bataris and striking him in the face.
The suspect was last seen fleeing the Tevinter Senate chambers on foot wearing blood-stained Warden leathers, and accompanied by a tall, grey-haired mage onlookers described as “distraught yet strangely amused.” Minrathous Templars have posited the man in question may be under some sort of enchantment, or has been compelled to do the suspect’s bidding through the use of blood magic.
IF SPOTTED
Considered heavily armed and extremely dangerous. Do not approach. Citizens are urged to alert the nearest Templar authority immediately.
OUTSTANDING WARRANTS
mass murder, serial murder, aggravated assault, disorderly conduct, public indecency, trespassing, arson, desertion, insurrection, illegal possession of a weapon, armed robbery, terrorism, larceny-theft
ACTIVE BOLOS
Lavendel Sheriff's Department
General Order from First Warden Jowin Glastrum, Supreme Commander of Weisshaupt
REWARD
250,000g for capture
50,000g for confirmed leads
HELP US BRING AYLA'S VICTIM HOME SAFELY - SPREAD AWARENESS WITH THE HASHTAG #FREETHEMAGE
Thedas' Most Wanted
Every Rook is a Criminal to someone, and I will not believe otherwise. Who wants them? What did they do? Tag your gang. Steal the Dividers.
Thank you @zennihilation for devising such a fun tag game!! (I suppose we have Juan to thank for this as well lmao) 🔥
And tysm for taggin' me @wickedadaar @handsignals @davrinsleftpectoral @rooks-dagger @kogarashi-art @serialsforbellara @in-the-drowning-deep @sandcastlekings @redaresss @xkatchy @jenn2d2 @chaosherald & @sorcerousadventurer! Ayla says she's always got ya'lls bail money covered (just don't ask her where she got the funds, her benefactor likes to keep it on the DL).
Gentle pokes through my cell bars to everyone readin' this and the folks below - come play if you wanna!! 💕
Also linkin' this minific in case you'd like to hear about the time Ayla's bar brawlin' got her sent to Lavendel's slammer! 😂
Had another dream about the dream. But this time it was after being mauled by the raptor creatures that I somehow survived???
So I made some quick doodles to show it.
Apparently dream me is now back in the spaceship looking for a different planet to inhabit. (Which is fair I wouldn't want to live on a planet with killer raptor aliens either.) And raising the new baby humans.
I also think that this socks is the oldest socks my mind has ever cooked up. I'm not good at showing old age unless it's a really detailed drawing, but he seemed to be late thirties to mid forties. Which I'm pretty sure is one of the oldest socks in the socksverse.
The babies come from this like mini fridge sized tube container that's see through glass. I think it's like an artificial womb. And you kinda have to put a very tiny tide pod looking thing in it for it to start growing the baby. So I think the mini tide pod thing is like a frozen fertilized egg? Idk man it's dream logic.
The ship had its own lil computer buddy that talked to you so that was nice.
And I don't know who in their right mind assigned this man a solo mission to find a habitable planet for the human race AND raise it.
Must've been some last second earths fricking dead kind of scenario cause there's no way this man was the best option. Plus there wasn't any messages from earth on the computer so safe to say earth is either gone or uncontactable.
