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i need to lock into this blog again ><

#i feel like i haven’t been very active on here in a while #and i feel as if its dying here :/#but i’m just overthinking #i need to change my theme (anyone wanna help :3)#and answer some asks #and maybe write

okay I have a bunch of shit to do today before work, let's fucking go lesbians

#i'll load the dishwasher the rest of the way and turn it on #i'll write the three emails i hate to write #maybe see about my taxes #shower and wash my hair #and maybe write #let's go let's go let's go #rayrambles

unhinged post

thinking about how i should have just taken my undergrad degree or even my masters and fucked off and just gotten a job instead of pursuing fucking law school. like. what was the point. im never going to get a job! i wasted 3 years of time and i hemorrhaged money! i literally feel so defeated and unaccomplished like 99% of the time!!

like i seriously don’t have a clear view for where i’ll be 5 years from now and i can’t decide where in my life i fucked up: was it not picking engineering as my undergrad major? was it going to law school? was it just not being smart enough or enough of a hard worker? a combination of both? bitch im gonna go back to my high school self and slap myself i hate myself so much kdskfdkf

anyway! this post comes to you after 2 and a half hours of sleep and a further 3 hours of lying awake drafting emails im never gonna send. i’m sorry i know this isn’t the negativity~ yall signed up for, just needed to get it off my chest 🤡

#like i just sat here and thought about how worthless i am as a future employee #like all i can do is make gifs #and maybe write #yay #and half the time people dont even like the shit i make! so like! what's the point!#like thats not even worth talking about #text #mental health #law school

I don’t know why, I’m just suddenly hit with so many god damn Ardynoct feels today and it’s killing me ahhhhhhh (and listening to various GoT tracks, for some reason, is not helping ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh)

#it's the caffeine isn't it #god damn i need to play again #i miss them #and maybe write #i also need moreee caffeine #dice ramblings #pointless post is pointless #OH WELL

I’d like everyone to know that thank u, next was playing at Full Volume while I made this

#i called out of work today to take a self care day #so now i’m gonna deep clean the dining room and kitchen #and maybe write #if i can find a topic #most importantly i’m gonna listen to music and try a heal the smallest patch of me that i can #harry wells #aesthetics #idk man im just think about him y’know #earth two harry wells #arrogant #my aesthetics #i also wanna try and edit my blog with quicklinks to my aesthetics and fics on here

how do people get home from work on a Friday night and be like yeah let's go out and party it's the weekend!!

I'm like leave me to rot and then collapse into bed

#dont get me wrong #i love my job #but after 9 hours of socializing #i dont wanna do more #i wanna communicate thru a comp uter screen #where i have much more control over the socialization im doing #i just wanna shower #and maybe write #and then go to sleep #moody #complain #complaint #me #personal #rant

#i'm so low on spoons #i'm literally going to cancel our NYE plans #I just want to sit in #and maybe write #or game #in pajamas #just get a little tipsy with hubby #while I come up with new year's resolutions #and ignore everyone/everything else #I'm so drained #so so drained

#and maybe write

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