it was busy, crowded. a bit too much if todd had to be honest. but tonight wasnt about him, it was about neil perry. he had just finished his play and everyone was going crazy, the cast came out onto the stage again to recieve the applause. which had turned into a standing ovation at this point.
the director, the producers, ginny and the rest of the cast where all standing together, holding hands. bowing down.
but the only person todd had eyes for was neil, his boyfriend neil. he felt so proud! after a while the applause died down and people started making their way out of the small theatre.
todd and a few of the other poets started making their way to the stage to try and find neil. but todd noticed he was too late, neils dad had already got there first, and was basically dragging neil out of there by the arm.
as neil passed by them he stopped and looked at todd, "todd. todd, i love you so much. im so sorry." there was something in neils eyes, and he couldnt really tell what it was. but it worried todd.
then it hit him! neil had just told todd he loved him. he had never said i love you before. oh god.. todd thought, i have to tell him i love him. so todd ran after neil and his dad, pushing his way through the crowd.
but it was too late, when he finally reached the outside of the theater. neil was already gone. i saw their car drive away in the distance.
"ill just tell him tomorrow." todd thought.
-
later that night
todd was lying in bed, it was almost 3am. todd and the other poets had the time of their lives tonight. they went to the cave and held a meeting in honour of neil! even keating came! he recited poetry for everyone, it was magical!!
now he was in this dark room, all alone. he felt happy, excited almost. because tomorrow he was going to tell neil he loved him. he feels slightly bad that he couldnt tell neil last night, but he would understand right? it all happened so fast.
god todd was excited to see neil again, he loved him so much. todd knew he had to go sleep right now, but he couldnt. instead he grabbed a sheet of paper and a pencil and began to write.
he wrote a poem for neil.
he kept writing and writing.
he couldnt stop. his love for neil was almost flowing out of the pencil. until he got so tired that he could barely keep his eyes opened. he closed his eyes and fell asleep, thinking of neil.
-
the next morning
charlie shook todd awak, "todd.. neils dead." what happened after that was all a blur. todd could barely remember it. all he remembers is a feeling of guilt he was carrying around with him. 'maybe if i had told him i loved him..' it was silly of course. but he couldnt help but think he couldve saved neil somehow. not that he would ever tell anyone.