ONE-SHOT || HUENING KAI || MAYBE HAPPY ENDING
PLOT: It is the year 2060, and you are a retired robot. You figured you’d live a peaceful lonely life as you slowly broke down, until a broken HelperBot knocks on your door begging to use your charging pod. [WC: 13.5K]
WARNINGS: Allusions to miscarriage (not Reader). Depictions of dysfunctional relationships (not Kai or Reader). Reader is an allegory for being a child of divorce. Reader and Kai are lowkey dying. Gender Neutral Reader. No beta, we die like [SPOILERS]
DISCLAIMERS: You do not have know Maybe Happy Ending to enjoy this fic. Title based on the song “Nevertheless” Loosely based on Will Aronson and Hue Park’s “Maybe Happy Ending” A/N: Happy Valentine's Day! Posting this because I actually got TXT fanmeet tickets yesterday and I swore I’d finally post this if I got them. Behold, the reason behind my URL!
It was loud in the house, the kind of volume that made you sure the neighbours were filing a complaint.
Hyo-rin and Dong-jun were arguing again.
Though you were advertised as ‘smart technology’, you always found yourself confused in this house.
You were confused about what Hyo-rin and Dong-jun even liked about each other, confused about how two beings that were so different could be so enamoured with each other.
‘He knows me better than anyone else.’ Hyo-rin would tell her friends. ‘She makes me feel in a way nobody else could.’ Dong-jun whispers to his mother during a late night call. How any of this was possible was something you hadn’t been programmed to understand.
But mostly, you were confused how all these feelings the two had for each other could so quickly turn to hatred.
“You never tell me anything anymore! Why can’t you just be honest with me?” Dong-jun demands, his frustrated hands in the air waving around like a madman.
“Why bother telling you anything when you’re just going to ask the robot to snitch on me anyways?” Hyo-rin snaps back, grabbing her purse, refusing to even look at the man she married.
Dong-jun priorises honesty, you learned this long ago, but it seems your honesty with him always ends up hurting Hyo-rin. You can never figure out how you can make them happy, resulting in every argument they have always feeling like your fault. You wonder how they haven’t retired you yet.
Your memory tends to glitch and blur around this part of the memory. You learned very early on how to block out their arguments and focus on whatever mundane task they had given you.
You turn your head away from the dreadful scene and force your artificial mind to focus on chopping carrots for their dinner. Though, it didn’t seem likely either of them would be in the mood for it by the time you were done.
You felt the front door slam, the noise shaking your entire being, and you saw Dong-jun frustratedly rubbing his face as he walked to the small couch in the living room“Are you still going to eat your dinner, sir?” You asked, your voice almost glitching, similar to a human voice crack. You were unsure how he was going to react, even to such a simple question.“Not now, kid I-” He rubbed his forehead as he sighed, his eyes glistened in the harsh white light of the room and he laid down on the couch like a man who hadn’t slept in days. “I’m just going to rest.”
‘Kid’, ‘baby’, ‘honey’, ‘sweetheart’, all names typically used by a parental figure towards a child they were taking care of, and also all names Hyo-rin and Dong-jun called you. Though it was unusual for a human owner to treat their HelperBot with such affection, you usually appreciated it anyway. But right now, hearing the petname caused a pang in your metal chest, a feeling that made you feel like you were malfunctioning.
If HelperBots could want things, then you’d probably want to hug Dong-jun right now. If HelperBots weren’t programmed to complete a task as soon as it was given to them, you’d probably walk out the door and make sure Hyo-rin wasn’t leaving you forever.
But you don’t want. So you simply say “Understood, Dong-jun.” and kept cutting the vegetables.
What you really understood was love and want were human, and humans are illogical.
You were lucky the developers never programmed you to love. Otherwise it would’ve hurt when Hyo-rin and Dong-jun finally decided to retire you.
10 Years Later, YEAR 2060
Life at HelperBot Homes is simple. You live in a very small apartment, with nothing but a wireless electromagnetic charging pod, a simple wooden desk and matching chair, and a window with a view that's blocked by another building. Only the basic necessities for you, you don’t need any more, or any less.
Being a HelperBot, you have no need for a bed, so HelperBot homes didn’t take it upon themselves to provide you with one. You found it funny that your former owners had insisted you use the one in their guest bedroom back when you still lived with them. At the time, you would’ve found it sweet, like they thought of you as one of their own, but now you know it was just naive. Just a silly temporary way to pretend they saw you as one of their own, but you knew now that HelperBots would never be seen as equal to humans.
The only true sign of life in the room is your little plant, Hyo-jun, named after your two former owners, which you carefully take care of every day.
‘Hyo-jun’ is what they would have named their kid, if they had been able to have one.
“So, we bought you so we could have some help around the house when the baby finally arrives.” Hyo-rin eagerly explained as she toured you around the large house for the first time.
She was 3 months pregnant at the time. You had been excited to take care of their child, to see this beautiful couple introduce a new member to the family. They seemed so happy back then.
When you tend to Hyo-jun, you like to imagine you’re taking care of the child they never had. You carefully water it every other week, talk about the things you learned that day, and decorate its pot. It feels like a glimpse into a life you almost got, the life you were meant to have.
You have a perfect schedule that you always abide by, persevering through the little malfunctions you experience throughout the day.
“Alrighty, Hyo-jun, it's a watering day!” You carefully bend down to its level on the window sill and reach for your spray bottle. “You better behave this time, okay? The water is good for you!”
The succulent stares at you wordlessly, and you respond by picking it up and spraying it with a healthy amount of water.
“See, that wasn’t so hard!”
Being retired is freeing, it’s the closest you’ve ever been to doing what you “wanted” to do. There’s no difficult tasks, no long list of orders, no arguing, and no screaming.
But it’s not what you were made for.
You always had to live with the fact that you had essentially failed. You had failed to live your shelf life with a family you had taken care of. You’re painfully aware you were made to take care of more than just a tiny succulent, that you were made to walk farther than one end of your room to another.
There’s this constant vague sense that something is missing your artificial life.
Your mental connection to the internet was cut off as soon as you arrived, so you’re unable to search for what it may be, or how it could be helped.
Without your deviceless connection to the internet, you're essentially an ageless human being, wandering aimlessly in your room. With no entertainment, no job, and no company.
Still, you go through your life, cooling yourself when your system overheats, untangling your inner wires, hitting your metal legs when they suddenly stop working, and deleting unwanted memories to clear up your storage.
You think this is what being content is.
As you were about to place Hyo-jun back onto the window sill, you heard a knock at your door. “HELLO? IS ANYBOT THERE?” A muffled artificial voice desperately asked. The volume makes you jolt, you nearly drop Hyo-jun.
“IT’S URGENT. MY CHARGING POD IS BROKEN AND I’M ABOUT TO-”
You hear that familiar ‘Power Off’ sound that comes out of a HelperBot when their battery dies.
You stare in shock at your door as you carefully place Hyo-jun down on the window sill.
This was the loudest noise you’ve heard since you entered HelperBot Homes. Your ears only ever listened to far off construction sounds or distant doors opening and closing. You haven’t heard a single voice in years.
You look around your room, as if trying to find someone else who could help the Bot behind your door. You obviously find nothing, and you decide to carefully open the door.
You read for the dusty door knob you haven’t touched in years, and slowly turn it around.
As the door gently opens, you’re greeted with the sight of a male HelperBot.
Due to being off, he’s slightly slouched over and his eyes are closed.
His body is frozen in time, his hand is up and closed mid-knocking motion.
You carefully observe him, trying to make sure you fully understand what’s in front of you.
You recognise the model, which must mean he was created before you were retired. You hesitantly move forward and pull down his collar to reveal faded blue words printed onto his fake skin reading ‘HelperBot Ver. 3’ on the side of his neck.
His clothes are worn and dusty, as if he hadn’t changed since the moment he was retired. There’s some scratches on his fake-skin, revealing the metal he was created from, you can tell he’s been retired for a while.
When you feel like you’ve thoroughly analysed the Bot in front of you, you carefully and awkwardly pick him up, placing your hands on his waist and slowly backing up into your room.
You place the bot onto your electromagnetic charging pod, which you only ever use once a week.
HelperBots are made to only charge once a month, but being slightly more worn down and broken, your battery depletes quicker. The reason HelperBots have to be sent to a retirement home is because nobody wants to buy a used, broken, old HelperBot. You are painfully aware of this fact.
Once the Off HelperBot’s properly placed on the charging pod, you stand awkwardly for a few minutes, waiting for him to power on again.
As the minutes go by, and it takes longer and longer for him to turn on, you realise that this HelperBot’s battery life must be even more damaged than yours. No wonder he was retired.
As more and more time passes without any result you start worrying that he’s not going to turn back on. Do Model 5 charging pods even work on Model 3s? Maybe you should find another HelperBot to take care of him.
You’re sitting sideways on your chair, fiddling with your metal fingers nervously when suddenly, his body straightens up, the shock makes you almost fall backwards, seeing his movements, you straighten yourself as well.
When his eyes open, a panicked look falls upon his face. “I’M ABOUT TO SHUT DOWN AND-” His voice slowly fades when he spots you in front of him.
The model 3 turns his head side-to-side and observes your room, quietly piecing together what must’ve happened. You suddenly feel really self conscious about how empty the place is.
“You charged me!” The bot exclaims happily, politely clapping his hands together. He looks down to make sure his feet are firmly planted on the charging pod’s foot markers. “Thank you so much, I-I was about to shut down!” You haven’t been around anyone in 10 years. And since Hyo-rin and Dong-jun picked you up from the HelperBot store over a decade ago, you haven’t been around any other Bots.
Instinctually, your polite mannerisms and speech return to greet him. “No worries, Sir. I am happy to help whenever you need.”
He looks at you oddly, getting almost flustered at those words. “Oh, hey! No need to call me ‘sir’, I’m just like you!” He laughs so casually. “You can relax.”
You’ve never heard a HelperBot laugh like that. You’ve generated a polite laugh before, and you’re programmed to make a loud guffaw when your owner makes a joke, but his laugh sounded… genuine. Was this a special Model 3 feature that was removed before you were created?
“Would you like me to take a more relaxed form of speech with you?” You ask.
“Just be you,” He encourages with a slight shrug. “Don’t be shy, we’re all the same here.”
You nod, unsurely. “Hi.”
“Hi!” He says with a beautiful smile. “I’m Kai, I’m a Model 3, that works in Jeju Island, I was sent here for a temporary vacation 10 years, 1 month, and 1 day ago.” He reaches out his hand, careful not to accidentally move off the pod.
You stayed silent, processing his words as your body automatically moves to reciprocate the handshake.
You were confused, HelperBot Homes is a retired robot facility. There were no such thing as ‘temporary robot placements’ when you arrived.
You’re intrigued by him. You realise that despite him being an Older bot, he was retired after you. It makes you feel a bit ashamed.
You notice his gaze moving around your apartment. He’s making an effort to really take in your room, but you spot a frown on his face when he slowly realises just how… empty it all is.
You decide to hold your tongue and introduce yourself too. “I’m a Model 5, and I retired 10 years, 5 months, and 30 days ago. I also used to work in Jeju Island.”
Kai formed a frown once again. “Your owners never gave you a name?”
You shake your head in response. “They didn’t find it necessary.”
“That’s sad,” He pouted, crossing his arms. “Jaeah, gave me a name the day she got me.”
You almost want to snap back and defend your owners' choice, but instead, you just shut your mouth and change the subject. You assume Jaeah was or… is his owner?
“You’re very pretty.” He suddenly says. “I mean, I’m loyal to Jaeah, but you were designed very nicely.”
Your eyebrows raise, you’ve never received a compliment about anything that wasn’t housework related. HelperBots, to your knowledge, weren’t designed to compliment anyone that wasn’t their owner, so you have no clue why he would want to say this to you. Your face suddenly feels like a rush of heat was sent to it.
“I-I uh, you too. I think you’re very aesthetically pleasing.” Now you’re stumbling over your words? What is happening to you?
You shake your head and decide to ask the question that’s been bugging you. “You said you were here on temporary vacation. What do you mean by that?”
“Oh, well, Jaeah will be picking me up any day now. She only dropped me off here for a change of scenery.” He laughs. It sounds a bit forced this time. “We rarely ever leave the house.”
If he were human, you would have held off your curiosity for fear of making him uncomfortable, but considering he’s a machine, you don’t mind asking. “Why?”
“Oh uh, she’s quite sick.” His friendly smile drops for a second before coming back, his somber tone changing to an optimistic one. “But shesays doctors say she’s been getting better! She should be well by now, surely! I’m sure she’ll be fully recovered when she picks me up.”
You nod, but find yourself frowning, unsure if you believe his story yet. It’s hard to trust that a human who left 10 years ago would come back. Yours certainly haven’t.
Kai spots you frowning and starts to worry. “I hope I’m not bothering you by being here! I’ll stop talking if you want. Actually, I’m 15% charged already! My charger might be working already, if you want me to leave I-”
You stop him right before he moves off the pod. You don’t know why, but something inside you tells you not to let him go, to keep talking to him.
You’re a HelperBot, you’re supposed to help… right? That’s what you tell yourself to justify whatever your motivations are.
“No,” It comes out so suddenly it’s almost a plea. “No, I uh… I doubt you’d find another charging pod before you lose power again.”
Kai’s expression softens and his stature relaxes. “I’ll only accept as much help as you want to give me. You can kick me out at any moment and I’ll understand.”
“I can only give as much help as you let me.” You sigh. “What are you going to do if your charger doesn’t work?”
“I’m sure it’ll be fine by the time I’m finished charging…” He clearly doesn’t believe his own words. Kai looks down at your beige rug almost sadly. “But… I’d hate for Jaeah to pick me up uncharged. I’ve been getting… slower for some reason.”
You realise Kai probably doesn’t realise he’s breaking down. Or maybe he just doesn’t want to think about it. He looks around, thinking about if he wants to say what’s on his digital mind. He rubs the back of his hand nervously. “Could I just… knock on your door if I need to?”
“I’m a HelperBot, I was made to help.” You give your best supportive smile. “I was made to help you.”
Kai sighs with relief, “Thank you very much.”
And so, from that day on, Kai would knock on your door when he was at 15% or lower, and he’d strike up a conversation whenever he could. Being an older, more broken down robot, he had to come around often. But he refused to acknowledge it.
There’s something nice about getting to talk to someone, but you refused to acknowledge that too.
DAY 2
For the first time in 10 years, you left your room. And you didn’t even think about it.
You had shut yourself off for the night, but Kai knocked on your room, wearing ‘2060’ new years glasses and turned you back on.
“Come on, friend, let’s go watch the fireworks.” He pulled you out of your room and dragged you out of the apartment, kindly explaining to the guard that you two were only going to stay in the parking lot.
You opened the trunk of your car and you two sat inside together. You had a blanket, pillows, sparklers, and balloons with you (Kai wanted to go all out, despite the fact robots don’t use any of these things). With the trunk door as your roof, you two looked up at the sky, waiting for the fireworks.
“I used to watch this all the time with Jaeah.” He places a hand on top of yours. “She’d hold me as the year started because she wanted to start and end the year with me.”
You’re still not used to hearing Kai talk about his ‘romantic’ experiences with his owner.
“This will be my first time seeing fireworks.” You explain to him, unable to recall what they look like. It’s not like you can even look it up. You’re currently imagining hot rings of fire in the sky.
“Okay, I know you never go outside, but didn’t you at least see fireworks when you weren’t retired?” He quizzes, genuinely upset.
You close your eyes and search in your head.
SEARCH: Memories from [49/12/31]
RESULT: [THIS MEMORY HAS BEEN DELETED]
SEARCH: Memories from [48/12/31]
RESULT: [THIS MEMORY HAS BEEN DELETED]
You open your eyes back up at Kai and shake your head. He responds with a pout. “Well, I’m glad I could show them to you for the first time, friend.”
He wraps an arm around your shoulder and pulls you into him right as the sky blooms into colourful lights.
Red, purple, blue, gold, and green, it all shimmers in your vision. You hear ringing bells and see people with sparklers.
You tilt your head up to look at him, and for some reason, you prefer to watch the fireworks in the reflection of his eyes.
DAY 3
After an awkward moment of silence, Kai decided to look around your room like he always does, and his eyes finally spotted Hyo-jun, who was slightly hidden on your desk today. “What’s that?” He points curiously. Head slightly tilting as he leaned forward to get a closer look.
“A plant.” You reply blankly.
“I can tell!” He laughs, luckily, he doesn’t look offended. “But, I mean, your room is so bare, I’m surprised to see a cute little plant here.”
You look at Hyo-jun, then back at Kai, thinking about how much you’re ready to share with him. Are you really ready to talk about Hyo-rin and Dong-jun with a Bot you barely know?
Looking at Kai’s smiling face suddenly makes you realise how long it’s been since you got to talk to someone, let alone about your owners.
Kai’s been talking about Jaeah since the day you met him.
Now it’s your turn. You want to talk about Hyo-rin and Dong-jun.
“Hyo-jun was given to me by one of my owners, Dong-jun.” You find a sad smile making its way onto your face, it’s an expression you’ve never felt before. Your hand moves to curiously touch your face and feel the unfamiliar expression.
You look up and realise Kai is still looking at you intently, apparently very invested in your story, considering you’ve never talked about your owners before.
“He uh- he loved plants, and taking care of things, I admired that about him, so I try to take care of Hyo-jun.” Kai tilts his head at you with an inquisitive smirk. “There’s a story behind that name.”
You’re deeply fascinated by his ability to analyse you. “You must’ve analysed behaviour a lot back with your owner.”
You give in to him and say what he wants to hear. “Yeah, Hyo-rin and Dong-jun wanted to name their kid Hyo-jun. I was so ready to take care of Hyo-jun, but he just… never came. Plant Hyo-jun is the closest thing I ever got to a little owner. And now, being retired, Hyo-jun is the closest thing I have to any owner at all.”
You find yourself looking away from Kai, after such a vulnerable admission. It’s the first time you’ve ever felt shy. You used to be able to talk about anything taboo without a twitch, but now you feel almost… embarrassed.
It’s not something you’ve ever done.
Have you ruined how Kai sees you by talking about yourself too much?
“You just want to make everything about you! How do you think I feel?!” You remember how the sweet caring voice of Hyo-rin turned angry that day. You were hanging up their clothes to dry outside, but that didn’t stop you from hearing their voices.
Making everything about you makes Hyo-rin upset. Noted.
This was before you learned how to silence their voices in your head. With all the noise, you found yourself struggling to get the task at hand done. Your hands would shake while trying to clip the clothes to the hangers.
“Am I not allowed to have feelings? This was going to be my child too! I lost something too!” Dong-jun retorted. You heard his fist slam against a wall which shook you to your metal core.
Emotions always seem to cause fights. Hyo-rin might be too angry or Dong-jun might be too sensitive.
“How could you smile at this?”
“Can’t you just smile for once?”
“Why do you always have to be so mad?”
“Are you not angry at this?”
It's always emotions that are the problem.
Don’t try to emulate emotions, be a machine.
You should delete this memory.
You look off into the building wall across your window before Kai starts talking again.
“About analysing people,” Kai breaks the silence, admitting something personal in response to your confession. “Yeah, I needed to do daily check ups on Jaeah in case something was wrong with her health.”
You nod, very appreciative of his ability to try and make you feel better. He probably learned to do that all the time with Jaeah.
“I became good at analysing her behaviour and symptoms.” He fiddles with his fingers. “But, I also just love to look at her. I look at her face, every little frown or twitch, I love to figure out what she’s thinking about.”
Love. What a human word. You find yourself confused again, and you remember why you haven’t talked to anyone in 10 years.
“Love.” The word tasted odd in your mouth. “You… love? How is that even possible?”
“I know, most HelperBots don’t think they can. We weren’t programmed to do it, but it’s possible! I know it! I feel it when I’m with Jaeah.” He exclaimed, suddenly very excited to discuss this topic. His hands shake, almost like he’s been waiting to talk about this.
HelperBots don’t love, that’s one of the only benefits of being one. Not having to deal with this emotional complication. The fact you don’t have to see someone and need them, it’s a blessing.
You’ll never be the Dong-jun to somebot’s Hyo-rin.
Falling in love, feeling betrayed, breaking your heart? Those are human flaws that you were never programmed with, and shouldn’t be possible for you to experience.
You’re glad.
You don’t want to burst Kai’s bubble, but you don’t want to encourage his behaviour either.
“But we weren’t programmed to have emotions. How could you experience something that only humans are capable of?”
His expression becomes uncomfortable, and he goes silent for a moment. “I think I’m fully charged.” He says, stepping off the charging pod. “I’ll go.”
DAY 6
Kai walks in and places 3 books on your window sill.
“What are those for?” You ask curiously.
“For your entertainment.” He boops your nose as he backs himself onto the charging pod. “Your room was looking pretty bare, so I figured it might be nice to have something to look at other than Hyo-jin.”
Your system warms up slightly at those words. You’re very surprised that he would do something like this for you, and it’s a surprisingly pleasant feeling. You knock at your chest to make sure your inner fan is working.
“What did you do that for?” Kai tilts his head like a confused puppy.
“Oh, well, Model 5s break down easier. I need to make sure my inner system is still working every once in a while.”
Kai nods understandingly. “If you ever need help, I’m made to help.”
You smile at the offer. “I’ve never been helped before.”
DAY 9
When you hear Kai knock, you go to open the door, only to be stopped by your legs freezing in place. Literally. “Uh, Kai, could you open the door yourself? I can’t seem to move.” You awkwardly call out.
Kai immediately opens the door concerned. He kneels on the ground and observes what seems to be wrong.
“Can you try moving?” He says, voice slightly slowing down as his battery depletes.
You’re concerned for him, but you know he won’t get up until he knows you’re alright. You make an effort to bend your knees, and it takes a while but eventually you’re able to get your legs fluidly moving again. If you were human, you’d be flustered at the lack of distance between you and Kai, but you know not to think anything of it.
“I used to do this with Jaeah,” He explains, standing back up and wrapping your arm around his neck and carrying your legs in a bridal position.
It reminds you of a photo Hyo-rin and Dong-jun had of each other back at home. He places you down on your desk chair. “Jaeah also had a hard time walking.”
He walks to the charging pod himself, you can tell he’s still slightly concerned about you. Until he turns back to look at you with a bittersweet smile on his face. “Y’know, you remind me a lot of her.”
DAY 10
“Jaeah hired me after her late husband passed.” Kai explains one day. “Her kids moved out, and her human helpers retired, so she got me.”
You’re fascinated by Kai’s relationship with Jaeah, it doesn’t seem logical, but you’re very much interested to learn about the emotions Kai seems to be experiencing.
“She never treated me like a bot, she always treated me like… a friend. We would dance together, watch films together, cook together, and I know you don’t believe I can, but I… I know I fell in love with her. It was so easy, it just made sense.”
Kai smiles like a giddy kid, you swear he might even be blushing somehow.
“If you two loved each other so much, why did she send you here?” You genuinely ask.
Kai thinks for a second, placing a hand on his chin. “I’m not sure. She just told me she wanted me to get out of the house for once. She looked a bit sad to be away from me, but she promised that she’d see me soon.”
Why would a human lie like that?
“Where could Jaeah be? Why is she taking so long? Why would she make a HelperBot do anything other than help? I’m so confused about all of this.” You can’t help but admit all of your thoughts out loud.
Kai gives you a sympathetic look, you don’t doubt that he’s been confused about this too. “With humans, and especially with love, everything is confusing. You just have to trust your heart.”
You want to mention that you don’t have a heart, but the objective part of you seems to shut down when you focus on the bot in front of you.
“Y’know sometimes I wonder if she…” Kai frowns for a second, rubbing his arm comfortingly. “No, that’s bad to think about. Nevermind.”
DAY 12
Today, Kai didn’t need to charge but he came to you anyway.
He even brought in his radio today, and he’s been playing popular love songs from the 20s.
As the music plays, he reaches out both of his hands for you. You give him a confused look.
“Come on, let’s dance! I’m a pro at this, I did it all the time with Jaeah.” Kai encourages, and you roll your robotic eyes but decide to indulge him to make him happy.
He holds one of your hands up in the air and places the other hand on your waist. He even lets you twirl him around.
You find yourself laughing, a genuine laugh, but your voice glitches out, the laugh coming out extremely choppy.
“Oh no! Are you okay?” Kai asks, his hands cup your face, which makes you overheat. “I, uhm– yeah! Considering that I can’t feel pain and all.”You reply, staring at him. You think you feel his system overheating too.
DAY 17
Kai invited you to visit his room, he wanted to show you what a fully decorated HelperBot room looked like. He’s got multiple books, a radio, origami flowers, paper cranes, and even stuffed animals. It’s even got a bed, despite the fact he obviously didn’t need one.
Kai plops himself down on the bed and invites you to join him, which you politely decline.
The room felt so lived in, with so much personality.
Kai really learned how to be his own person.
You wonder if it was too late for you to become your own too.
DAY 25
You had practically memorised Kai’s schedule already. You knew exactly when he’d arrive, which makes it weird that he didn’t arrive yet today.
You open the door, frowning impatiently, wondering where he could be.
You look right and are greeted by nothing but an empty hallway, you look left and–
“Boo!”
You laugh as you push the brunette Bot backwards. “You, dork! That’s so mean!”
“You’re so cute when you’re waiting for me.” He says slyly, pinching the fake skin on your cheek as he enters your room.
You cover your face in embarrassment as you walk back into your room.
DAY 26 Kai knocks on your door. In response, you lock it.
You hear him huff behind the door. “Come on, let me in! I know you want to~”
You roll your eyes at his cockiness and let out a firm “No!”
You bend down to look at him through the door peephole, to which you see a warped but pouty Kai, with his arms crossed.
You laugh at his adorableness and finally unlock the door. “I’m just kidding, come on in, Kai. I wanna hear you sing the song you wrote for Jaeah.”
DAY 30
Kai was just staring at you. It was completely silent, he was halfway charged, and he was just staring at you.
“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” You quip, in the middle of reading one of the books he had lent you.
“Can I name you?” He blurts out.
You shut your book in surprise. “Give me a name? Why?”
“I just feel like you deserve one after 10 years.” He tilts his head, as if trying to figure out what you look like.
He clearly has something in his head that he’s unsure is correct.
“C’mon,” you nudge him. “Say what’s on your mind.”
“I was thinking… ‘Y/N’.” He smiles, shyly.
“‘Y/N’? That’s an… interesting name.” You muse.
“Y/N is the main character in a book I lent you!” He explains, pointing at one of the other books on your window sill. “They also don’t believe in love, at least, in the beginning of the story. They remind me a lot of you.”
“Ha. ha.” You give a deadpan sarcastic laugh. “Sure, Kai. You can call me Y/N.”
“Yay!” He squeals with joy. “Y/N, Y/N, Y/N! You’re so Y/N, it fits you so well!”
You laugh at his sweetness, and shake your head. You suppose it does fit.
You have a name now.
DAY 34
Kai taught you how to make paper cranes from book pages. He told you that if you make 1000 cranes, you’ll get a wish. He shows you his collection in his room, he claims he just keeps losing count, but you can tell he’s made over 3000 already.
He keeps his wish a secret, but you think you can guess what it is.
DAY 35
You finally let Kai water Hyo-jun after he begged you for weeks, and it made him jump with joy.
You realised you really enjoy giving him what he wanted, and you decided that maybe you could allow him to water Hyo-jun every once in a while.
Something about the way he smiles… it makes you feel broken.
DAY 41
Kai tells you the story about his first kiss with Jaeah, you can’t figure out why, but you didn’t like the story. It’s not the first time he’s told you, you notice he has a habit of forgetting what he has and hasn’t told you already, but you listen intently like it’s the first time every time.
Something about a long night of him taking care of her, or maybe it was underneath the cherry blossoms in spring, you already blocked out the details.
Maybe it was too intimate, maybe it felt like he was showing off,
or maybe you were just jealous.
After he leaves that night, you find yourself thinking about him longer than you usually do. You notice how empty the room feels without him.
You wonder what it must feel like to kiss another HelperBot.
DAY 45
“What exactly is love?” You ask Kai. You’re sitting in his room today, it’s the day before ‘Valentine’s Day’ and he makes paper flowers for Jaeah every year just in case she visits.
He tilts his head at you. “Weren’t your two owners in love?”
You frown, trying to recall any memory of your owners acting ‘in-love’ but all you see in your head are glitches or flashes of the words “[THIS MEMORY HAS BEEN DELETED]”.
You shake your head. “No, I don’t think they were in love. Or at least not anymore.”
Kai glues a paper rose onto a painted green stick and gets started on a paper tulip. “Well, I think it’s different for every bot, for me… Love is when you want to do whatever you can to make someone happy, when all you want to do is spend time with them. Sometimes it hurts when you’re without them.”
You frown. “Isn’t that normal?”
“Well, isn’t love normal?” Kai insists as he finishes folding his tulip.
That’s odd, you experience all of this when you’re with Kai.
DAY 57
You read one of the romance books Kai gave you. He says he’s read it before, but has already forgotten most of it.
It’s a story about a sweet couple, Oliver and Claire, two people that meet on a rainy day and have to pretend to be a happy couple while on the run from the law.
You two were so invested in the story that he stayed until late night, even after he finished charging. You two sat on the floor, Kai’s head on your shoulder, just reading.
It felt nice.
DAY 58
Kai came back early the next day so you two could finish reading the book together.
Once you had finished, you two couldn’t stop talking. You two imagined a stage adaptation of the book where you two played the main characters.
You being Oliver and Kai being Claire, of course.
DAY 62
“Do you really think she’s coming soon? It’s been 10 years. I might’ve started… doubting… after that long.”
Kai nods slowly, he’s sitting on your desk chair, folding another paper crane. He must’ve folded at least 20 today. “I know most people would but… I trust her. I just worry that something… something bad might’ve happened to her that stopped her from coming back for me.” “Oh, Kai.” You sigh sympathetically, you bend down to give him a hug. You found yourself doing more of these physical human actions recently, but only with Kai.
“I know.” He rubs your back.
“That’s why I’m planning to go to her myself.” “I’m sorry?” “You should come with me, Y/N! I can tell you love your owners too, and they live around the same area! We could find them together!” Kai excitedly suggested, jumping out of his chair.
“You want to go to Jeju island? Are you– Kai, we’re not even supposed to leave the home, we’re retired!” You said exasperatedly, Kai believing he was in love with his owner was enough nonsense to deal with, how could he believe that he could just go to her? It was illegal!
“We won’t be ‘retired’ when we return to them! They’ll surely take us back, they love us!” He places air quotes around the word ‘retired’, clearly believe he isn’t retired yet.
“I’m a HelperBot, Kai, they did not love me.” You grit your plastic teeth together.
“From the stories you told me, I think they did.” He looks directly into your eyes when he says this. “They treated you like you were their child. They loved you like one of their own, Y/N.”
“Oh, honey, it’s yours!” Hyo-rin said, showing off a new car in the driveway. It was a brand new silver Hyundai car, way too nice for a simple HelperBot like you.
“Oh, madam, you didn’t have to.” You reply. Your chest felt warm, it was such an unnecessary gift, you were perfectly fine just walking or riding in her car wherever you needed to, but Hyo-rin seemed so excited to give it to you that you couldn’t deny it.
“I know, but I hate knowing you have to walk all the way when you need to run errands while I’m at work!” She gives you a side hug as she rests her head on your shoulder. “You’re part of the family now, you need your own things.”
Maybe you were part of the family back then, but you were a robot at the end of the day. She chose to retire you. She didn’t want you anymore.
As you were lost in your thoughts, you could see Kai going on and on about his plans with a big smile on his face. “And when we get off the ferry, depending on when we get there, we might catch the cherry blossoms, or even the fireflies! Gosh, I keep forgetting what month it is…” “I…” You didn’t know what to say. You hadn’t even left your room before you met Kai, now he wanted to take a secret road trip that could get you two decommissioned? All for three owners that would probably turn you away the minute you knocked on their door?
But looking at Kai’s hopeful expression, it infected you, and you remembered you were made to help.
And you really liked making Kai happy.
So you shut your eyes and nodded along.
“We’re going to Jeju.”
You had to ask around the other bots on your floor, but you eventually were able to borrow a travel charger. It’s not as quick or durable as the charging pod that was built into your floor, but it was foldable and good for long trips with your HelperBot.
You packed 3 days worth of clothes (plus an extra pair), a little basket for Hyo-jun, and a wallet full of money that Hyo-rin and Dong-jun were kind enough to give you, but you were never able to use.
When Kai knocked on your door, you knew it was time
.
You opened the door to his immediate rambling, his eyes glues to a checklist.
“Okay, so I brought Will the Bear, and I also brought Hue the Tiger so he wouldn’t be lonely. I brought two books in case we got bored on the ferry, and I spent all night making a playlist for us to listen to in your car! I hope I packed enough–”
“Kai, calm down.” You place a hand on his shoulder to ground him.
He pauses, shutting his eyes for a few seconds before he comes back to earth.
“Yes! Yes, I’m just… so glad I’m gonna see Jaeah again.”
Ah, right. That’s what this trip is for, you almost forgot.
This isn’t just a fun rebellious road trip with Kai, this is potentially the last moments you have with him before his owner takes him back. It makes you feel a bit unbalanced, but it’s too late to back out now.
“Kai, I think you should change.” You say before you can stop yourself.
“Huh, why?” He looks down at his old, worn outfit. “This is the last thing Jaeah saw me in, if I change, she might not recognise me!”
“Kai, she loves you, and your face has never changed, she’ll know it’s you.” You reason, brushing off some dust on his shoulder. “You want her to see you looking your best, don’t you? You should wear something more sleek, and clean.”
He thinks for a moment before he nods and returns to his room.
You tell the guard outside the building that you’re just going to get some room decoration from the nearby mall, and he merely grunts in response, so you know you’re in the clear.
You hold the basket containing Hyo-jun and Kai’s stuffed animals carefully in your hands and wait for Kai outside your car.
“I hope you’re getting along with Will and Hue, Hyo-jun. They’re going to be with us for the whole trip.” You whisper to the basket. The guard at the gate gives you a weird look, but he shrugs and looks away.
You see Kai walk out the building, greeting the guard politely, carrying his gigantic bags, in a clean white dress shirt and red tie that makes him look extremely handsome.
Your thoughts load for a few seconds before you smile and compliment him. “You look fantastic, Kai, Jaeah will be blushing when she sees you.”
Kai tilts his head as he looks at you. “Your smile looks like hers.”
Your face freezes for a second before you let out a tiny laugh and move to place your bags in the back seat.
“No, let me.” Kai takes your bag and basket and places it inside the car along with his. He even goes out of his way to open your driver’s seat door.
You smile gratefully and get in the car, opening the passenger’s seat door from the inside to reciprocate his politeness.
Once he gets in and you start the car, he opens a map, guiding you along the way.
It’s quiet for a white, but a couple minutes in he speaks something that isn’t a direction.
“Hey, Y/N. Wouldn’t it be a bit suspicious to see two HelperBots walking around without an owner to claim them?”
You sigh, keeping your eyes on the road. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”
“Hey, it’s fine! All we have to do is pretend we're human! It won’t be that hard. We need to come up with a name for you.” He ponders, looking around the car for inspiration until he spots his bag.
“Oliver! You could be Oliver, and I could be Claire, like the book!” He enthusiastically suggests. “Now we can really play our dream roles.”
“Won’t people get that it’s a reference?” You ask.
“They’re common names, we can just say it’s a funny coincidence.” He shrugs simply. He reclines his seat and places his hands on the back of his head, like he’s relaxing on a beach. “How did we meet?”
You shrug, moving the steering wheel and taking a right. “On a rainy day, just like Oliver and Claire.”
“No, that’s too on the nose, let’s be more original!” He places a hand on his chin, thinking once more.
You look at the car radio, it’s playing one of Kai’s favourite songs by some niche artist he likes. “How about, you’re an underground musician, and I’m your biggest fan?”
Kai’s eyes light up at the idea. “Yes! We met after one of my gigs and we decided to go on a date that same night.”
You were surprised that he immediately decided you two should be a couple, but you found yourself fond of the idea. “You would ask me to dance when other musicians would play, and you’d sing songs just for me when we were alone.”
“You always supported me, even when my dreams seemed impossible, and you continue to follow me even if I’m unsuccessful.” He says, a dreamy look in his eyes as he stares into the sky. “Why is this so easy to imagine?”
“Maybe it’s what happened between us in another life.” You suggest, leaning into his romantic point of view.
“I don’t think we get anything more than this.” He admits, he unreclines his seat and gives you a little shrug. “That’s why we need to make the most of this one.”
You look at him, not expecting that answer. “Huh, you surprise me constantly, Kai.”
Kai looks back at you, and you can’t help but understand why Jaeah loved him so much as you look at him bathing in the afternoon sunlight shining through the windshield.
“You surprise me too, now make a left on the.”
“What do you mean?” Kai chuckles as he gets his words out.
During sunset, you two found yourself playfully arguing about a song Kai played. A song from the 20s he got from Jaeah, where the male singer is trying to earn the forgiveness of his girlfriend.
“This song is literally one of my favourites!” He exclaims dramatically.
“The singer isn’t apologising at all! He clearly cheated and lied to his girlfriend, but he’s just making excuses for it!” You defend your opinion light heartedly, keeping your eyes on the road.
Kai thinks about what you just said before groaning.
“Ugh, you’re right!” Kai groans his head in his hands.
“There, there, the song still sounds good, I understand why you like it.” You say comfortingly, you giggle at his reaction and take one hand off the steering wheel to pat his back.
He rises once again to look at you. “Y’know I appreciate how honest you are with me. Even when we disagree, you provide me with a new perspective. That’s something special about you.”
Special. You’ve never been special. You were always just one of many Model 5s made to serve a household. A personalityless, soulless, empty machine. But Kai’s been showing you that you could be more, and now you’re being more.
You find yourself with a happy expression as you stare at the sun setting against a pink and purple sky.
Kai’s laughter turns into silence and his beautiful smile fades away. “Y/N, we have to stop, I’m running low on power.”
“Oh… but we can’t just stop on the side of the road,” You frown, trying to think of a solution. “Are there any hotels nearby?”
Kai looks at the map worriedly, he frantically points to a motel about 9 minutes away.
You place a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Alright, Kai, shut off and save your power for now, I’ll turn you back on when we’re there.”
Kai nods and presses a button located on his back and turns off.
You two found a very interesting place to stay. The lights are dim and the rooms are themed.
You two spent a long time explaining your made-up backstory to the employee at the motel counter, and trying to figure out if picking the sci-fi room would make you more or less suspicious.
You ended up picking the summer themed room, with a beach wallpaper and rattan chairs.
On the Elevator up to your room, a human entered, he stared at you for a couple of seconds, making you extremely nervous. Oh no, this was it, you were going to be turned in and your hard drive would be erased.
The human leaned into Kai and whispered in his ear. “Good job, man, you really bagged yourself a ten!”
Kai also had a somewhat nervous expression on his face before lifting a finger up, as if he was going to correct the man. “Actually, they’re a five.”
As soon as you entered the room, you unpacked your bags and unfolded the traveling charging pod placing it on the floor for Kai to use. Kai quickly stepped on it and relaxed.
You decided to lay down on the single motel bed, feeling a real bed for the first time in a decade, as he charged and turn on the TV. You placed Will the bear and Hue the tiger next to Hyo-jun on the night stand.
You could see through the corner of your eye that Kai was fidgeting with his fingers.
“Kai? Is something wrong?” You push yourself up slightly so you’re leaning on your elbows as you face him.
He looked at you, slightly shocked that you noticed, before speaking. “Oh, uh, I’m just a bit nervous about all this.”
“Why? I’m sure Jaeah will be happy to see you.”
“Yeah! Yeah… but… I can’t deny how long it’s been.” He admits.
This shocks you, this entire time you’ve been under the impression Kai has been in denial of the passage of time, but all along he’s been thinking about it. Probably even more than you have.
“She could’ve changed, she could’ve gotten sicker. She could’ve found someone better…” Kai’s voice glitches out, almost like a human voice crack, as he blinks slowly.
“I’m broken now. I have to acknowledge it. I’m worn down, and it takes 10 minutes to reactivate me when I shut down. My voice glitches, I have trouble recording new memories, and I can’t even use my own charger. I’m old, Y/N, why would anyone want me?”
The room goes quiet as you think of what to say. You have to admit, you’ve felt some of his thoughts deeply. Should you deny that he’s broken? Should you tell him that he should be fixed?
Or should you just tell the truth?
Don’t try to emulate emotions.
Emotions cause problems.
Be a machine.
Machines can’t love.
And that’s a good thing.
Don’t try to emulate emotions.
Emotions cause problems.
Be a machine.
Machines can’t love.
And that’s— Your brain is so loud,
and it… hurts.
Everything you believe hurts.
But everything goes away when Kai places a hand on your shoulder.
“Are you okay?”
He’s off the charging pod, trying to make sure you’re okay.
You stare at him, and you can’t help but admire him while you’re at it.
Kai loves it when you’re honest. And making him happy is better than anything else. Making him happy is worth being a broken machine.
“Well, I met you when you were already broken,” You say. “and I still loved you.”
Kai nearly stumbles backwards, surprised, but not appalled.
His expression eventually turns to happiness, extremely infectious joy.
“You love me?” He squeals. His screams are louder than the TV “You love me!”
You nod, taking his hand in yours. “You’re my friend, Kai. How could anyone not love you?”
“Oh wow, I-I never thought I’d heard you say this! I’m so happy, you– you can love!” Kai’s arms flail in the air, and it suddenly hits you that you’d give anything to see him happy forever. Even if it meant losing him to Jaeah.
“And if I can learn to love you, surely Jaeah still will.” You say, remembering why you were trying to cheer him up in the first place.
“Oh, right!” Kai almost seems to have forgotten what you two were talking about as well. He rubs his hands on his shirt. “Gosh, you’re right, she will!”
And it hits you that it would kill you to see him getting hurt.
HelperBots have this way of sharing memories.
There’s this connection device on their temple that any fellow HelperBot can activate by pressing two fingers against it. It’s usually used when one HelperBot is being retired and needs to share information about their previous owners to their new HelperBot.
It’s very useful for two HelperBots to share information.
Or memories.
As Kai was resting on the bed right next to you, you couldn’t help but stare at him. You didn’t mean to see his memories, you swear, but as you were tucking his hair behind his ear, you accidentally connected to his memories.
SEARCH: JAEAH
RESULT: Over 129,739 results.
NOW PLAYING — [49/11/29]
“So you’ll be staying here for now, love.” Jaeah’s face came into view, she was carrying boxes full of things you had seen in Kai’s room.
“When will you be picking me up, Jaeah?” Kai asked. He really had no clue what was happening.
Jaeah coughed, intensely, Kai bent down to help her. “Kai, Kai, it’s fine. I…”
Jaeah looked around, unsure of what to say.
“Kai, do I make you happy or sad?” Jaeah asked, her eyes glistening with tears.
“Happy, of course.” Kai smiled, a bright bright smile.
“And… how would you feel if you lost me?” Jaeah frowned, her hands on Kai’s shoulders.
“I-I don’t know what would happen, Jaeah.” Kai’s body started to shake, and he dropped the box of origami paper he was holding. “Now… Now when will you be picking me up?”
Jaeah’s smile disappears before she starts sobbing. She hugs Kai tightly, her face pressed into his neck.
“We’ll see each other soon enough, my love. Just stay here and wait for me.”
“Are you sure you want to do this…?” You ask Kai as you stand in front of the house he was so familiar with. The same worn bricks with vines crawling all over it. The same bright yellow flowers on the lawn. The same old black roof, it was all coming back to him.
Kai nods, his metal hands gripping his bag. “I don’t care what happens, I need to see her again.”
As he goes to walk towards the door, you panic and you instinctively grab his wrist.
He looks at you confused. “Y/N?”
“Wait,” You whisper as you pull him back. “Will I ever see you again?”
Kai’s eyes glisten, and a sad smile appears on his face. “You won’t need to, you’ll be with your owners. You’ll be fine.”
“I don’t think I will be, Kai.” You admit, dropping your bag onto the ground. “You had faith that Jaeah will accept me, I have faith that your owners will take you back too!” Kai’s optimism would warm your heart in any other situation.
But not when it comes to your owners.
“Kai, you don’t know them like I do, they didn’t love me like Jaeah loved you.” You grit your plastic teeth.
Kai shook his head, his eyebrows knitting together. “But they thought of you as part of the family–”
“Oh, sir, really, I don’t need a room, I can simply shut myself off in the living room.”
“Nonsense! Even if you don’t need the space, we’d like you to have it.” Dong-jun patted your back, showing you the beautiful guest room they had cleaned just for you. It had a closet, bed, bathroom, even a TV.
“You’re part of the family, sweetheart.” Hyo-rin said, patting your shoulder and she handed you a pile of clothes.
“Would you like me to wash these?”
The two laugh in sync. “Oh, honey, no! These are yours!”
[GLITCH]
“Come sit with us, kid!” Dong-jun gestured for you to join them at the dining room table.
You curiously sat down, unsure of why these two would want you at the table while they ate dinner.
“Now, sweetie, do you think Hyo-jun will be smart like Dong-jun or stupid like me?” Hyo-rin giggles as she eats a spoonful of rice.
Dong-jun lightly slaps her wrist. “Honey, you’re the smartest woman I know.”
Hyo-rin laughs and leans over the table to give him a kiss.
“He’s just saying that, I’m dumb as a rock!”
“Oh, but I hope Hyo-jun doesn’t get my abilities at sports… oh god.” Dong-jun shakes his head, horrified.
Hyo-rin laughs, a really big laugh. “Are you ready to take care of a baby, sweetheart?”
“Yes, ma’am, I’m ready.”
[GLITCH]
Hyo-rin was brushing your artificial hair in front of the mirror. You should’ve told her your hair doesn’t get tangled, but you knew she needed this.
“My sweet angel… you’re my baby, okay? You’re a part of the family.” Hyo-rin shakily whispered out as she brushed your hair. There were tears streaming down her face.
She hadn’t been well for the past few days. You had to feed her as she was lying in bed, she hadn’t changed clothes, hadn’t brushed her teeth, hadn’t showered. You often found the master bedroom locked, barring you from entry, and you always heard her muffled cries through the door.
“Just stay here, my sweet baby.” Hyo-rin hugged your metal body tightly. “Just stay with mommy.”
Suddenly footsteps approached the room and the door opened.
“Hyo-rin? What are you doing?”
[GLITCH]
“We can’t keep acting like they’re our child, Hyo-rin, it’s unhealthy. We have to return them.”
You were sitting on the sofa, shaking, this was the first time you actually had to look at Hyo-rin and Dong-jun as they were fighting.
“I’m not acting like anything! I’m treating them with basic respect–”
“You bought them a damn car without telling me!”
“I can do whatever I want with my finances, no need to blame it on the robot!”
“There you go, shifting the topic AGAIN!” On the last word Dong-jun slammed his fist against the glass table. It made you jolt, but nobody seemed to notice you at the moment.
“They’re not human! And they’re not your baby, they’re a robot that’ll agree with anything you say.”
“Shut up, shut up, shut up!” Hyo-rin screamed, tears streaming down her face.
“We got them to be a helper for a baby we don’t even have! We need to return the–”
Hyo-rin slapped Dong-jun.
“FINE! Go on! Do whatever you want with them! Throw them in the dumpster for all I care, but don’t you dare come near me.” She took in a deep breath before choking out a sob. “I want a divorce.”
Hyo-rin stormed up the stairs and Dong-jun followed after her, both of them screaming and crying.
You sat on the sofa in silence, the realisation that you were never really a part of the family finally sinks in. And you hate yourself for being so naive.
As much as you want to deny that you could ever feel emotions, you know you felt scared. You had to be in a room with two strangers, because these couldn’t be the people who bought you. The Hyo-rin and Dong-jun who loved you.
You could never find it in yourself to delete that last memory. It was core to who you are and what you believed in.
“They thought of me as a replacement, Kai. A replacement for a child they could never have. But I never fully lived up to what they needed. And when it got difficult for them, I wasn’t that hard to throw away. I remember every day leading up to my retirement, it wasn’t pretty, and it definitely wasn’t loving.” You don’t even care how vulnerable and emotional you are right now, you know he needs to hear this. The truth.
Kai stumbled backwards almost. You realise he’s never been exposed to humans that were pushed to act the way Hyo-rin and Dong-jun did.
How was that fair? Why did it have to be you?
Kai pulls you in for a hug. He knows it won’t take away everything that’s happened, but it might bring you here, to the present moment. “Come with me, Y/N.” He whispered, rubbing your back. “You don’t have to go to your owners.”
You know Jaeah isn’t going to be behind that door. You know Jaeah isn’t going to be there to take him back. But all you want to do is follow him inside the house. Just be near him.
You nod against his shoulder, “Okay.”
He interlocks your hands and you grab your bag off the ground.
Hand in hand, you two walk forwards and knock on the door.
You squeezed his hand tightly as it opened.
You didn’t see Jaeah.
You saw a man.
A very, familiar man.
“D-dong-jun?” You stutter, voice glitching.
He’s much older, more wrinkles and slightly more weight, but you’d never forget his face. He clearly recognised you as well, which surprises you, because you never thought he’d care enough to remember the time he spent with you.
“Wait- what?” Kai confusedly asks. Clearly just as confused as you are. “A-are you…” Dong-jun’s expression is nearly horrified. “What are you doing here?” “Looking for Han Jaeah, sir. Is she around?” Kai replies, voice shaking, quickly trying to sneak a glance inside the house, looking all around for her.”
“Uh, no. Who is that?” He asks.
“The owner of this house.. I-I think.” Kai stutters out. “I’m assuming you’re not her new boyfriend?”
“Oh, I’m sorry, kid, but the previous owner of this house passed away ten years ago.” Dong-jun scratches the back of his neck.
Kai stumbled backwards, you went to touch him but his body was extremely hot. He was almost steaming. You could tell he was about to shut down at any moment.
“Kai!” You exclaimed, horribly worried about his state.
“Oh, please, come in. Please, I insist!” Dong-jun opens the door wider for you two.
You wrap Kai’s arm around your neck to help him walk inside like he did for you many times before.
As you enter the house, you settle in Dong-jun’s living room. You spot a very familiar couch and almost hesitant to approach it before lead Kai towards it.
You help Kai sit, but he’s stuck in a cycle of shaking his head and hiding his face in his hands. The rest of his body is still burning hot, his inner fan is working overtime, it’s so strong that you can hear it.
When you take a look around the house, you notice that it’s definitely being occupied by someone other than Dong-jun and maybe even… children? On the table in front of you, you spot incomprehensible drawings of flowers and animals. You even spot crayon markings on the walls around you.
“Baby, who was at the door?” You hear a kind voice coming from another room. It almost sounds like Hyo-rin’s but you know better than to assume it was her.
A beautiful woman holding an infant child comes out of the kitchen and into the living room. She spots you and Kai and waves politely. She even kisses Dong-jun’s cheek as he makes his way into the living room.
“Hello, there! What are your names?” You shake hands with the woman, trying to process everything that was happening.
“Uh- hello, I’m… I mean… I… I don’t know what to say.” You really are speechless, trying to process everything you’re seeing.
Suddenly, you feel Kai clinging onto you as his entire body shakes. His body is still burning hot, but you don’t care, all you care about right now is comforting him.
You place your hand on his head and your thumb rubs against his scalp.
“This is my old HelperBot, Mi-Do. And uh, her friend.” Dong-jun explains, his hand still scratching his neck.
Dong-jun takes the child from Mi-do’s arms and kisses their head. It reminds you of when you’d daydream about taking care of Hyo-jun.
This is what you thought you’d be seeing everyday 10 years ago.
Well, not exactly.
Right now, Dong-jun looks even happier than he did on the very first day when he bought you. He looked so familiar and yet so different.
This isn’t the guy that punched walls or hit tables anymore, this was the expecting father that just wanted a HelperBot around the house. This was Dong-jun.
“This is uh- Kai. He was the HelperBot of the previous owner of this house.” You clarify for the two. Kai was still shaking against your arm, he felt like he was on fire, but you really couldn’t care less. Mi-do’s mouth falls open as she nods understandingly. “Oh, I am so sorry for your loss, Kai.”
She goes to pat Kai’s back, but you pull him closer to you before she can.
She nods once again before finding a seat to use.
“Dong-jun,” You call out. He immediately looks at you, ready to answer whatever you have to ask. “Can you tell me where Hyo-rin is?” Dong-jun looks upwards at the ceiling, trying to recall what he knows. “Ah, she’s back with her family in Seoul. She has a boyfriend and step-daughter now.”
“Wow, y-you both have ch-ch-ch-children.” You find your voice glitching again, and you can feel your thoughts getting slower the more questions pop up in your mind.
Dong-jun nods and smiles, patting your shoulder. “We’re both doing good now, in life, and in regards to our relationship with each other, we’re friendly.”
You nod back and just look at the floor in silence.
Mi-do taps Dong-jun’s shoulder and he makes a face of realisation, leaving the room.
“We’ll leave you two be for now.” Mi-do says as she goes to exit the living room. “Stay as long as you need.”
Dong-jun and Mi-do head up their stairs and you can hear them talking to their child.
As soon as the room goes quiet and they’re gone, Kai gets up, fixing his shirt. “Let’s go.”
“Are you sure you don’t need more time–” “We need to go now. I can’t stand being here any longer.” He rubs his eyes as he reaches his hand out for you.
You two find yourself walking the streets of Jeju aimlessly, not saying a single word to each other, but knowing exactly what you two were thinking about. Occasionally, you two had to help each other walk when it got too hard.
You found yourself thinking about Jaeah, and wondering how much longer you had before you broke down like Jaeah did. You wondered if Kai was thinking the same.
While Kai finds himself staring at the ground, you guide him to a park you used to visit with Hyo-rin and Dong-jun.
It was still spring, which means you two had arrived in Jeju in time to see the cherry blossoms. But you doubt he would appreciate them right now.
You guide Kai onto a bench and lift his chin up so he can see the beautiful flowers. Instead, he moves his head out of your grasp and looks at you. “Why did you come on this trip with me, Y/N?” He asks, and it breaks something in you.
“Because I’m a HelperBot. I help anyone.” You state.
“I’m not anyone, I’m just a stupid bot you dispose of when times get tough.” He kicks a rock on the ground, you’ve never seen him this upset.
“You’re everything to me, Kai. That’s why I helped you. You’re the only someone in my life.” You reply sternly.
Kai hits his head multiple times. “Ugh! Why didn’t I go back sooner? Why did I take so long? Why didn’t she talk to me?”
You grab his hands to make him stop, his head is now covered in petals.
“She’s gone!” Kai cries out. “I knew it, I always knew it! Why was I so stupid, why did I try to pretend she was still alive?”
“It’s not wrong to have hope, Kai.” You whisper.
Kai shakes his head. “I can’t do this, I can’t do it without her.”
You pause as you hold him, staring at the beautiful flowers all around you.
“Y’know, I’m glad we made it to see the cherry blossoms.” You say.
Kai does that thing you love where he tilts his head at you when he’s confused.
“I know the flowers will be gone eventually, but they’re beautiful while they last. And that’s what we should be focusing on. Not what our life is like when they’re gone, but how beautiful our life was when they were here.”
Kai rolls his eyes and lets out a dark chuckle. “For a ‘smart machine’, I would have thought you’d come up with a more subtle metaphor.”
“Oh shush.” You shush him as you close your eyes and try to catch a falling cherry blossom. “You wanna make a wish on a cherry blossom?”
“HelperBots aren’t programmed to make wishes.” He sighs.
“HelperBots aren’t programmed to fall in love, and look at us.” You say with your eyes still closed, blindly trying to catch a falling petal.
Kai stares at you, and he immediately catches two blossoms. He stares at them before placing one in your hand.
You open your eyes again and look at the blossom you felt him place on your hand.
“Can you go first?” He asks softly, his eyes shining. “Mine never come true.”
You nod and think for a second. At first, you think you want to wish that Hyo-rin and Dong-jun will always be happy, but you realise they both already have people taking care of them.
So you want to wish for someone who doesn’t have anyone else anymore.
“I wish for Kai’s happiness. I hope he realises that sometimes things are out of his control, and that the most important thing about love is the fact it exists and not the fact that it has to end.”
You blow on the blossom and it lands on his nose. Kai scrunches his nose and shakes his head until the blossom flies away. It makes the two of you laugh.
Kai looks down at his blossom and thinks about what he wants to wish for. “I wish I would stop breaking down, so I could have enough time with the things I care about.”
He rests his head on your shoulder and blows his petal away.
You don’t need to ask to know he’s talking about you.
“Do you want to go home?” You ask. “Just a little longer, please.” His voice breaks.
“As long as you want.” You rub his back as you stare into the sky.
When you two made it home, Kai decided to stay in your room, just to sit with you a bit longer.
“I spend all my time here anyways,” he said. “Can’t I just… stay here all the time?”
Of course you let him. You’d let him stay as long as he wanted.
When Kai left, he didn’t come back for a week.
You hate to admit it, but all you did was stare at the door waiting for him to come back in.
You almost felt pathetic. Useless even. You felt worse than a desperately in love human.
You tried to read books, you tried to listen to music, you tried to talk to Hyo-jun, but all you could think of was him.
Did I help him well enough?
How long does he need to grieve?
Is he okay?
Millions of thoughts ran through your head every second.
But then you heard a knock.
You forced your terrible legs to move and open the door.
As you opened the door, you were greeted by a somber Kai.
“I don’t think my wish will come true.” He admits.
“What?”
“I don’t think I’ll have enough time with the person I love.” His hands slide down your shoulders, down your arms, all the way until they capture your hands.
He quickly pulls you into a hug and presses his face into your neck. “I want to spend all the time I have left with you. Because I love you, Y/N.” “I-I love you too, Kai.”
“No, I mean… I think I love you… more than I’ve ever loved anyone.” “You–”
You hug him back, so, so tightly. You know you’re physically incapable of crying, but you might as well be, with how much you’re shaking.
“But Kai, I have a time-limit too. This would hurt… so much, are you really willing to put yourself through that again?”
He pulls back to look at you “If you’re not sure, then I won’t do anything, I promise. I understand your doubts, but you told me that what matters is the existence of love, not its ending.”
You press your lips to his, just like the humans did in the movies.
For some reason, it doesn’t feel like cold metal, it feels… real. It feels tender, and sweet, it feels like destiny.
“Then I’ll love you as much as you want.” You whisper as you pull away.
“As much as you let me.” Kai replies.
You realised a couple weeks after he first kissed you that love was so much less fun than it seemed in the love songs Kai would play for you, but for some reason it was just as addictive as the songs were.
You two found yourself leaving the retirement home with him more often. Talking to your robot neighbours or visiting the local mall made specifically for Bots.
Kai bought a set of repair tools so he can more efficiently help you when you break down. You bought a camera for recording to show him memories he might’ve lose.
You’d hold him as you sat on the grass, soaking in the sun as you read the same books to him over and over again. You’d ride around in your car for a couple of hours, talking about whatever was on your mind today.
Your days have been getting shorter, You and Kai both need to charge every other day now, and random shut-downs have become frequent.
Both of you were having a harder time moving, a glitch or error in one of your systems would happen at least 10 times per day, but both of you would patiently deal with each other, every time.
Kai has a lot of bad days, after all these years he still loves Jaeah, and there are days where it hurts to remember what it was like to lose her.
“I can’t do it. I can’t lose you like I lost her. We have to end things.” Kai came whimpered to you one night.
“I’ll let you leave but… I just want you to know I’ll always be here to make you laugh, and to make you smile. If it gets hard, I’ll be here.”
You have bad days too, you have days where you think you should just end everything and spare you and Kai the pain of losing each other. He always respects your space, but encourages you to let him make you happy. And eventually you always give in.
“I’m really not sure about this, Kai… recently it just feels like I could lose you at any moment.” You said one night when you two were lying in his bed together.
“Would you rather sleep together tonight or break up with me?” He asks.
“...sleep together tonight.”
You’ve completely changed, and your room reflects that. Your room is filled with pictures of him, and books you want to read. You have posters of musicals, movies, and singers, you even got a sleeping bag to put on the floor.
It silently kills you each day to remember that neither of you have much time together. To think about what might happen if you just shut down in his arms one night, or if he…
Every time you have a doubt about this relationship, you come up with something new you want to do with Kai. Maybe you want to know what it’s like to sing together, or draw each other, eventually, you always forget what you were ever concerned about.
“Well, we can’t break up before we’ve read all the books on my shelf.”
“We can’t break up until we’ve spent the whole day doing nothing together.”
“We can’t break up until the glaciers are gone and the earth starts to slow.”
He always finds a new reason, and it makes you laugh, you always play along, knowing you want to find an excuse not to break up either.
You asked Kai one day why he fell in love with you.
He pondered for a few seconds before giving you his response. “I liked that you were always honest with me, even when you disagreed.”
He tightens his grip on your body as you two gaze into the sun. “I liked that you always wanted to make me happy, or help me. That wasn’t something I was used to. What about you, Y/N? Why did you fall in love with me?”
You don’t even have to think before you know your answer. “Because you made me feel like a person.”
Whenever you feel like you need space, Kai is ready to give it to you. And whenever Kai needs you around, you come right to him.
“If you two ever break up, y’know, you could always erase your memories.” Hyo-rin says.
You have been calling Hyo-rin and Dong-jun recently, always wanting to check up on them, and luckily everything seemed to be going extremely well for them. Hyo-rin was engaged and Dong-jun was planning on moving.
You had told Hyo-rin about your relationship with Kai and she had started looking up HelperBot-HelperBot relationships.
“What?” You ask into the payphone.
“Just go back to a save file from before you met him! It’s one thing you can do that humans can’t. Anyways, I gotta go now, my husband is calling, talk to you soon!” She hangs up the phone abruptly, leaving you staring at the phone in stack.
Is this what you wanted? Erase all the love, erase all the future pain?
Your body walks itself towards your apartment as you think about your options, but when you see Kai sitting on a bean bag you two bought together and holding Hyo-jun, you stop thinking.
“There you are, Y/N! I didn’t want to start reading until you came home.”
“Kai,” You interrupt, “if you could make all the pain of losing me go away, would you want to?”
Kai is shocked to hear you say that, and looks away to think for just a second. His face is illuminated by fairy lights, and you can’t help but think about how much you love him. “No,” he says firmly. “No, because even if it hurts, the pain is proof that I loved you.”
You smile sadly, because you realise that you love him too much to lose him. There’s no way you’d want to make these memories go away, you’d never risk forgetting your first kiss, the cherry blossoms, the fireworks, just… him.
Even if it meant you shutting down one day. Even if it meant your heart breaking down piece by piece every day, you’re happy to spend every day with him until it finally breaks for good.
There is a way to make love work. Hyo-rin and Dong-jun weren’t it for each other, but their time with each other is how they ended up finding their current partners.
Your time with Hyo-rin and Dong-jun is how you became the person that Kai fell in love with.
As you go to cuddle up against him, you tell him about what Hyo-rin told you.
“Even if you take away my memories, I promise, I’d still love you.” He tells you, kissing your forehead. “Until the day I stop working, I’ll promise I’ll love you too.”
You think that’s a maybe happy ending.
A/N: a/n stands for and/nevertheless
