The hidden war with the Empire has been going on for as long as Kleya can remember at this point. Recent events have taken a toll on Luthen, he's slipping and needs a break desperately, but the Empire and the Rebellion never sleeps. Including Kleya.
She works restlessly, piecing together bits and pieces of conversations from the many bugs they have planted across the galaxy, while also responding to calls from rebel soldiers. It all has slowly become one big blur to her, everything is so similar. She's had to correct errors in her notes numerous times.
Kleya is sure Luthen will only point out her mistakes instead of thanking her for working so late into the evening. Speak of the devil, he's just walked through the main entrance to the antique shop.
"You're late." Her tone isn't harsh or cold, like she wants it to be, it's just neutral and tired.
"I know." Luthen's tone matches her own as he joins her in the backroom. "Anything interesting?"
Kleya removes her earpiece and slides the communication compartment back into it's hiding place. "Senator Organa was escorted back to Alderaan with high security, like we had predicted, Lonni reported that Hert has been promoted to Lieutenant Supervisor and Andor has completed his mission and is on his way back to Mina-Rau."
"Good." Luthen says, distantly. "You're dismissed for the evening."
"Are you sure you can handle it here for the night?" Kleya asks, not in a snarky way, but in genuine concern for his well being.
"I just said you're dismissed." Luthen emphasizes his point, his tone more demanding.
"Fine. You're the boss." Kleya grabs her bag and makes her leave. She didn't put up much of a fight with him, because, quite frankly, Kleya has been wanting to leave that backroom hours ago. Her body moves her in the direction of your apartment before her mind can keep up. That's all she needs. You.
《》《》《》《》
You softly hum the rhythm of the song playing quietly on the radio as you dry your hair. As Senator Mon Mothma's aide, you have had a very long day. You listened to all the meetings she had and made note of nearly everything said to scribble down on your datapad later, you started writing a speech about Mon Mothma's new bill that she's trying to get votes for, put up with Perrin's snide remarks, walked with Leida and provided her with emotional support towards her betrothal.
You almost let a relived sigh slip past your lips when Mon dismissed you for the day. You've been Mon Mothma's shadow for as long as you can remember now and not much can phase you. As soon as you reached your apartment, you removed all your fancy clothes and jewelry and took a well needed bath. The sweet floral smell of the bath salts is still wafting through your home.
A faint hiss echoes through the apartment and a small smile appears on your face. "In here, love."
Kleya soon emerges in the doorway, looking just about as exhausted as you feel. "You really shouldn't say that. What if I had been a burglar?"
"The point still stands." You rise from the chair at your vanity and make your way towards your partner. "You'd make a very hot burglar."
Kleya let's out a faint snort in amusement and let's you wrap your arms around her to pull her into an embrace, her arms loosely looping around your waist. You press a kiss to the crown of her head from where she's slightly slouched in your arms
"Long day?" It's a stupid question really, because you already know the answer.
"The worst." Kleya pulls away from you, but only enough so that she can finally kiss you after so long. It's been about a week since you've seen each other. You were off world with Mon for a while and Kleya has been very busy the past few days.
"Come on." You guide her over to your vanity and sit her in the chair. Kleya makes a small sound of disgust, thinking that wiping off her make up, letting her hair down and changing into a different pair of clothes is so much work.
It's quiet for a moment, as you slide the neatly placed pins from her hair and place them into their own compartment on you vanity. Kleya silently observes you through the mirror, admiring your slightly tousled hair, the lack of make up on your face and the way your pyjama shirt is slipping off of your shoulder. This is the real you. Not the girl who hides in a Senator's shadow with a fake smile plastered on her face all the time.
"Tell me about your day." Kleya requests and you give her a small smile through the mirror. You know she's asking for a distraction, a set routine her mind can think about instead of worrying about everything else.
"Well, Senator Mothma decided to have breakfast with Senators Bail Organa and Riyo Chuchi. They only talked about problems we already know about and can't fix." You begin. "By the end of that, Mon entrusted me to write her a new speech for one of her many bills, which I started writing the draft for during Mas Amedda's banquet."
You slide out the last pin and Kleya's hair falls past her shoulders. You gently turn the chair to face you, so you can focus on cleaning the make up off her face.
"On the way back from the banquet, Perrin decided to become very talkative. I was strongly resisting the urge to punch him in the throat." You tell her.
"That's the spirit." Kleya let's out a small laugh.
"I went on a walk with Leida and Mon soon dismissed me after that." You conclude and finish wiping the make up from her face. "And then, I had a visit from my lovely girlfriend."
Kleya teasingly rolls her eyes. "I am lovely, aren't I?" She stands to wrap her arms around your neck.
"Only when you bring meiloorun candy." You smirk, hands moving to her waist.
"God forbidden you ever get caught by ISB. All they would have to do is tempt you with something covered in sugar." Kleya scoffs out a laugh.
This is what makes it all worth it. Fighting the Empire, lying to everyone you ever meet, staying on high alert all the time. It's all worth it when Kleya can come back to you at the end of the day.
Cassian just did a robbery and you're stuck at home, pregnant.
There wasn’t a soul outside.
All the shops had closed at least a couple of hours ago, and small groups of kids, and shady-looking street vendors roamed around, but Cassian was nowhere to be seen.
I was sitting on the couch in the dark apartment, watching the holonet under a couple of blankets. The heating had broken again, and I would have to wait at least three paychecks before I could get it fixed, even with the discount Bix would give me. She had tried to offer it to me for free, but I hated using my pregnancy as a tool for pity. I knew she meant well, but I couldn’t always rely on others.
Especially because the only person I had decided to trust had gotten me pregnant and disappeared.
Every night, I thanked that he hadn’t truly run away, but with what had happened with the guards and then the soldiers in the city, it might have been better to be abandoned.
Would the Empire leave me alone?
Nah.
But at least I could play the victim card of a thief’s prey, even though it hurt to talk about Cassian that way.
But he had stayed.
I remembered clearly when, months earlier, I had discovered the whole mess.
Cassian and I didn’t have a stable relationship at all. Since he had broken up with Bix, he had jumped from woman to woman without ever staying in the same place more than once.
I had caught him hiding in the scrapyard where he kept his adoptive parents' old ship, with a bruised face from punches.
One of many angry husbands.
I had joked about it, helped him clean up his lip, and for a moment there was a spark, a thrill that ran through me as I moved his jaw from side to side. The silence became suffocating, and his eyes were like daggers to my lungs.
I had always liked him.
But I wasn’t one for danger, or shady business in general. I had known him over the years as Bix’s friend, never thinking we would end up together, that he would start showing up at my door to get patched up. Sometimes simple cuts that made me wonder if he was messing with me.
Then one night, we kissed.
He’d been fighting on some planet, always out getting into trouble, and luck couldn’t be on his side all the time. He showed up at the door limping, covered in bruises, but before I could even notice, he kissed me and pushed me inside.
He was a man of few words, but he spoke even less about his feelings. So, in silence, I patched him up and let myself be dragged to bed.
Another notch on the belt.
Another outing in the middle of the night, another day.
But not only did he show up again, but by the fourth or fifth time, he bought something from a nearby restaurant for us to eat together for dinner.
And when Andor spends money, there’s always cause for concern.
The thing remained casual. I didn’t speak, neither did he. It was like a normal relationship, but nothing about it was normal.
And yet, I liked it.
Even if the next morning, he wouldn’t stay to sleep, or sometimes on the street he almost didn’t recognize me.
I was fine with it. I had a monotonous life, stuck between work and debts. I wouldn’t complain about being screwed on the table by Cassian Andor—it gave a little moment of pleasure in that monotonous life.
The fact was, as usual, the galaxy had a great way of mocking me.
I had noticed right away that something was wrong. I couldn’t afford any time off, so I took any sign of illness seriously. The result, however, wasn’t on my list of possibilities.
Pregnant.
My contraception was cheap, had a higher failure rate, and I don’t know, maybe the condom broke, but the result didn’t change.
I had run away from Maarva in tears. Cassian had been gone for a week, and I didn’t know what to do.
If anyone had asked, I would have said it was Bix who told the man. She had seen how happy the routine made him, and maybe she thought this would be the sign for both of us to change our habits, maybe find lasting happiness.
Cassian wasn’t a man of many words, and he wasn’t that night either.
He showed up on his knees, hugging my legs, asking me for the chance to trust him. I was taken aback by his manner, by his choice of words, but maybe it didn’t make sense to take a complex man like Andor for granted.
Cassian had moved into my small apartment. He stayed in bed until the morning and asked me how I was doing, but he was still able to disappear for weeks without saying a word.
“I’m doing something for us,” he would say, dodging my questions, taking my hand and kissing it, then my neck—and at that point, I would forget why I was angry.
Things had gotten worse for a while. He was nervous, getting up in the middle of the night to disappear for a few hours. I wanted to believe he was cheating on me, but I knew it had to be something much worse.
Cassian didn’t cheat on you, if he wanted to be with someone else, he would let you know.
Then everything went downhill.
One evening, he came back home sweaty and out of breath, with a sinister look in his eyes. I knew that routine well—he caused enough trouble to build it up, and when it exploded in his face, he would run around trying to fix it, and to my great surprise, he always succeeded.
But that evening?
He was shaking.
I was in bed, lying there for a couple of hours, unable to sleep, watching a movie on the holo pad in my lap.
He came home earlier than expected. I knew he wanted to go around asking about his sister, maybe he wouldn’t come back at all. Instead, he was there, sweating like he had run a marathon.
He entered the bedroom with a wild look in his eyes, a new bruise on his cheek, drenched in rain.
I barely had time to call him before he climbed onto the bed and kissed me. One hand stroked my stomach before disappearing between my thighs. He overwhelmed me so quickly that I could hardly remember what we had done, but it had been rough, like it hadn’t been in a while.
That meant trouble too.
We argued the next day. I tried to understand what had happened, but he didn’t want to talk, as always.
“Go back to bed. I’ll make you some tea.” Anything to avoid the conversation, then he left.
I wouldn’t know anything more until the next day, when, amid the sound of alarms, I was dragged by Wilmon down the streets to his father’s store, where they locked me in for my safety.
Then the screams, the explosions, the Empire.
I wanted to take it out on Bix.
On her stupid boyfriend.
On Cassian.
But I was so worried.
Everyone hated him, the air had become tense because of the Empire’s arrival, and we didn’t know what would happen.
No one had said my name yet, though. Cassian and I weren’t married or anything, so legally I wasn’t tied to him, but everyone knew what we were.
The neighbors knew, the friends knew, the place where I worked knew. But no one said my name.
Cassian had disappeared once again with a mysterious man whom Bix couldn’t tell me anything about.
The others didn’t want to talk to me so I wouldn’t “stress out.”
Even Maarva told me to let it go and just worry about the baby.
But how could I?
Cassian was now a public fugitive. It was rumored that he had stolen something big.
It made my stomach churn with nerves.
“I’m doing this for us. I’m working on it.”
I didn’t know if he was really doing it for us, for his child. He had always liked stealing, getting into some mischief, but this?
Where had he gotten it from?
How?
And had he really disappeared this time?
Would someone kill him?
And what would I do if someone found out about me?
I wanted to run away, but where would I go?
I barely had a diploma, I didn’t even have money for a ride, and I’d lose so much that after two nights in a motel, I’d have nothing left.
I had visited a couple of moons for work, but I didn’t know my way around the galaxy. They’d catch me.
They would find it suspicious if I disappeared suddenly, someone would talk, they’d kick me out, and—
No. I couldn’t let them take my child.
I stood up from the couch to look out the windows once more, and as if I had predicted it, there was a thud at the door before it opened.
I turned quickly, expecting to find a soldier or worse, but at the entrance, with a hood on his head and short of breath, was Cassian.
We both stared at each other in surprise. He seemed not to have realized I was standing, just as I struggled to believe he was here, with the city ready to sell him out and soldiers patrolling the streets.
I reached him with long strides before wrapping my arms around his neck, exhaling slowly while holding back a sob, his warm arms around my waist as he pulled me to him—pulled us to him.
“Cassian—” I sobbed, unable to hold back the tears, pressing my face against his, feeling the light regrowth of his beard. I hadn’t even noticed he had shaved.
“Shhh—I’m here. I'm fine, We're good- ei- we're good.” He squeezed me tighter for a few seconds before moving my face just enough to look into my eyes. I leaned in to kiss him, and we met halfway.
One hand on my cheek while I grabbed his hair, pulling him closer, scratching his jacket.
It was a chaste kiss, slow, our lips pressed together in a dance that carried the weight of my tears. Then I rubbed my nose against his, feeling the cold skin on mine.
“Hey—don’t cry, I came to get you. You didn’t think I’d leave you here, did you?” He smiled before gently pushing me onto the couch.
He quickly took off his jacket before rushing into the bedroom, throwing me a quick glance. That moment, frozen, still, where we had kissed, shattered immediately after. His words echoed in my head.
“Where... where are you going? What’s going on?” I lowered the volume of the TV, leaving it on. I didn’t want to attract any attention by turning on the white lights in the living room.
“We’re leaving. I don’t know where, but we’ll find a place.” We both spoke in low voices, the house was so small we didn’t have to raise our voices to hear each other.
“What?” I got up to join him in the bedroom. He had pulled out one of my work bags, where he was stuffing some of my clothes and the few baby things I had started accumulating over the months—pacifiers, little gloves, and a stuffed toy I had made from a woman in the neighborhood.
“What... what are you doing—i—Cassian—” I stopped him, grabbing his arm. I was so confused I could barely speak.
"Is this about the guards?"
He opened his mouth to retort, but I interrupted him. "—Before you try to justify yourself, know that Bix told me everything. That..." I shook my head, still confused by the past few days. "—Can you tell me what’s going through your mind? That black box and— and the guards— not to mention what happened here. They told me they tried to blow up the vehicle—" I rubbed my forehead nervously. "I was so worried—"
He took my hand and kissed the back of it gently. "Blow up? No sweetheart, nothing like that happened, okay?" He drew me closer again. "It’s all under control, I’ve fixed everything."
I pressed my lips into a hard line, still whispering, but the anger was clear in my voice.
"No. I want you to tell me what’s going on. You stole that thing and—" But he interrupted me, "I did it for us. I would’ve sold it and bought us a house and a working heating system and—" I hit him with a fist to the chest, making him flinch.
"We don’t need that money. Look at what it’s brought us."
Sure, I appreciated that he wanted to do it for us, but it wasn’t worth the consequences we were paying. "Don’t you understand? I’ve fixed it. I’ve got the money. I’ve got a ship, we’re leaving." I was taken back by his irritated tone. He has freed his arm and continued rummaging through the drawers.
"What money? Where did you get it from? Is that what you’ve been doing these days? With that man you left with?" I stepped aside as he pulled out the small safe with our savings and opened it to stuff everything into an inner pocket. "Don’t think about it. The ship isn’t far, and the patrols are concentrated in the square."
I followed him down the small hallway watching him grab towels from the bathroom.
"Can you— can you stop for a second and talk to me?" I asked, my breath short. "Can you please—"
I grabbed him again, holding him tighter. "Cassian, please—" I sobbed. "Please, tell me something. Anything."
He took his time to respond, "You’re right."
He had a pained expression on his face, a deep furrow between his brows. He looked tired, nervous. I wondered where he had been and what he had done.
"That man. He offered me a job. I did it. And now we’ve got all the credits we need to live in peace." He gently grabbed my arms. "I’m sorry. I’ve been a terrible boyfriend from the start."
He smiled nervously.
"Mom’s right. You should’ve punched me that day. But you didn’t, and— and finally, I have a chance to do something good."
He brushed a lock of hair from my face, his fingers trembling slightly. "I really want us to be okay together. I want to see you happy, like you make me happy." He gestured to the bedroom. "We don’t even need this stuff. I’ll get us a house. You’ll have heating, a new mattress, I’ll pay for all the checkups you want. We just need a change of clothes and we’ll leave."
I looked at him more closely, even though I loved seeing him clean-shaven, I missed seeing him with the scruffy hair. Ironically, he looked more broken now than a few days ago.
"How did you get all these credits?"
He sighed. "I did a heist—"
"What?!" I squeaked, continuing to whisper. "It’s all sorted out. They wanted my help, and now we’re even. We just need to sneak away."
I shook my head. "What’s gotten into you? Who did you rob? Don’t tell me it was a gang—" But he interrupted me, waving his hands. "We’ll talk about it on the ship, okay? But we need to go."
He went back to grab the bag and stuffed a few bars and cookies into the remaining space. He had left drawers and cabinets open, but I imagined it didn’t matter anymore.
"And Bix? And— and your mom? We need to go get her—" But he shook his head. "She wants to stay. She sends her regards, said to keep covering your neck." And to emphasize the point, he took the scarf and wool hat Maarva had made for me and put them on my head and neck. The knit wasn’t perfect, but it had been her gift, she wanted to improve to make a wool hat for her grandson.
My heart tightened.
"We can’t leave her here—" Cassian seemed barely to listen as he picked up two jackets and placed them on the table. "Do you think I like this? But she decided it." He shook his head. "I also talked to Bix. She asked me to tell you she’s sorry for not convincing you earlier to get that damn boiler. And to relax, she says goodbye."
I stayed silent, my heart pounding in my throat. So, this was it?
Was this the moment?
We were leaving and... everything would change?
Were we fugitives?
"Cassian—" I whispered, breathless, getting his attention. Tears filled my eyes again. "Are we... are we running from the Empire?"
But the question in my mind was far more complex.
We were running away from home, from our families, from the planet that raised us. Cassian was good at adapting, but me?
Could I manage?
But then, deep down, did I really have a choice?
"We’ll find a quiet place. We’ll be fine." He shook his head with that crooked smile he always wore when I was worried about one of his silent moves. I didn’t miss the hesitation in his response, he was struggling to believe it too. The Empire was everywhere, and where it hadn’t reached yet, there was fear it would come soon.
And now Cassian was a wanted man.
I wondered how long we could survive like this.
"Let’s go."
He put the jacket on my shoulders, which I pulled on, pushing the hood over my wool hat, trying to hide my hair as much as possible.
I watched him dress quickly and sling the bag over his shoulder.
I left the TV on, took one last look around the house, thinking of something I could shove in my pocket, leaving all my things behind— even my parents’ belongings that I hadn’t had the courage to throw away, the stupid trinkets I sometimes allowed myself, the pictures on the shelves.
I grabbed a small hologram that scrolled through some family photos: my parents, me as a child, our dogs, about ten of them, no more. I had entire archives in a box in the closet.
I slipped it into my pocket and joined Cassian, who stood by the door with a determined look on his face. "We have to plan. But the road isn’t hard. We’ll just walk a bit."
I leaned in to kiss him to gather strength, then took one last look at the house.
I would miss it.
I had bought it myself, paid the rent, the bills, repaired the pipes, the windows. I had planned where to put the crib.
But now I had to leave.
And leave it behind.
I grabbed Cassian’s hand and nodded. I took the last two steps to the entrance before stepping out.
The street was deserted, the patrols were rare and mostly towards the center and where Cassian’s mother lived. I quickly shut the door behind me, watching the illuminated space as long as I could, feeling the nausea rise, but I steeled myself and turned the latch, leaving the access card inside.
"I’m ready."
We walked along the walls of the buildings, my heart pounding in my throat, my hands trembling, but I kept moving, dragged by Cassian's hand that gripped my wrist tightly. Along the way, I threw the keys into a vase and kept running. We passed a couple of patrols, then we were out of the city, far from the main roads and transport, making our way a few meters to a speeder hidden among the hills.
From there, he drove past the fields and toward the woods where a ship of a particular model was hidden.
"I guess I don’t even need to ask about this one."
But he didn’t answer, just pointed me to go in.
It didn’t take me long to realize it wasn’t his. There were really strange things inside, medical supplies, parts of droids, and blocks of notes written in an alien language I didn’t recognize.
"Come sit." Cassian left the bag in the bunk before pointing to the co-pilot seat. He rummaged through the things, pulling out one of his hoodies and a change of clothes, then took the pilot's seat and started the engines.
"Aren’t they going to see us leave?" I asked, concerned, slipping on the hoodie after hanging the jacket over the back of the chair.
"No, they haven’t fully occupied the airspace yet. We’ll approach the moon, fly over the surface, and jump to hyperspace. This isn’t the first time I’ve done this. Trust me, I’ve piloted worse in these days."
I avoided asking him again what that remark meant though it sounded bitter, so I remained silent.
I waited for us to gain altitude, watching below us. I wanted to see the city one more time, but I knew it was too dangerous to get that close. I sighed slowly and let myself sink into the metal chair.
"Have you slept these days?" He asked suddenly as we speed away, not too high from the ground. I shrugged, one arm around my stomach. "I was... thinking about a lot of things. You. The Empire. Maybe... I’ve slept a couple of hours a night."
Despite the pleasant silence that had settled in the cabin, I continued to feel nervous, terrified we’d be caught. Deep down, I wondered if I’d ever be able to live without the fear that the Empire was on our trail, to enjoy a night of sleep without fear.
"We'll make the jump and lie down." He reached out to gently rub my stomach under the soft hoodie, then lowered his hand to take mine in his. "Things will be different. I promise."
He was focused on the lights and the screen showing the airspace, his gaze controlled, but i swear I saw something different, a harder light in his eyes.
I loved him.
He was the one who had gotten me into trouble. It was his fault I had to flee home and leave my friends behind.
But, he made me feel good.
It was the same feeling I had when he told me he wanted to be a father, I trusted him.
I don't know why, but I have all these one-shot ideas about a reader being pregnant with Cassian Andor's child, and I can't stop adding notes to my notebook.
I don't know if anyone is actually interested, but I fully intend to get this out of my system—I just can't find enough of them around.
Unfortunately, the story is about 9000 words, and I can't post it here in a single post as I'd like, so here's the AO3 link.
Regrets
Summary:
Cassian has been sent on the trail of an Imperial, the general of a death squadron who betrayed the Empire and is on the run. Hoping to turn her to his side, he will follow her tracks until he uncovers the true reason why the general is hiding in a shabby apartment, sparking conflicting feelings in Cassian about what to do with the future.
Warnings!:unplanned pregnancy/mention of blood/graphic descriptions
Summary: You didn't exist before the Empire, you weren't allowed to think, there was only you and the dark side. An instrument of the Emperor.
First-person/no use of y/n
Cassian Andor/oc-reader
Warning:Unfortunately, some chapters are too long, and I can't publish them here. I'm sharing the first chapter, hoping you'll be interested enough to follow the story on AO3, here
I had found myself in worse situations.
If I had to analyze all the bad experiences in my life, this one wasn't even in the top three.
Was it more... humiliating?
No, I had long since surpassed even that concept.
Embarrassing?
Maybe a little.
I had been raised to be proud. To hide my nature. A leader can't seem weak, if the blade is blunt, it doesn't seem as frightening, does it?
It was undeniable that those teachings were a part of me, ever since I was a child and my mother described the vastness of the universe to me.
Sure, our nature was an indelible part of us, but it didn't define us completely.
It had never defined me.
I couldn't afford it.
I had had my share of discomfort over the years, for a lot of different reasons, most of which were my fault, but I could never admit it out loud. The best reaction was indifference, people under stress react differently. War was one of those things capable of transforming a human being. You could be a good person and still find joy in someone else's pain "Better them than me" or enjoy seeing your opponent in discomfort. The more negative your reaction, the more that sense of vindication grew in their hearts. Revenge?
Maybe.
Justice?
Is it not the same thing but with a different feeling in your heart?
Anyway, I think that's what filled the eyes of my tormentors.
I had surrendered and helped them, but I was still a traitor in their eyes.
A member of the empire.
They wanted to see me uncomfortable.
Maybe crying.
Lowering my head.
But I didn't feel anything anymore, I had caused a lot of pain over the years, and I had no right to complain about anything.
Anyway, the ship was really small, especially for the number of us inside. Yet I admired the rebellion for this, despite the few resources available, they tried to make the most of them, and on many occasions, they had put us in serious difficulty, which was embarrassing given the means and credits constantly spent to fuel the hypocrisy machine that was the empire.
But nothing new.
They had tightly bound my wrists with rudimentary ties that scratched my skin, and a blindfold prevented me from seeing. I could hear people walking around me, a murmur as they talked about this and that. They weren't stupid, they wouldn't talk about anything important with me around, so I mostly ignored them.
I think I even fell asleep at one point. The jolts of the landing woke me up, the air on my skin after all that time inside and before that on a desert planet was golden. I didn't know where they had taken me, but I clearly wasn't dressed for those cold gusts.
My wrists were yanked, and I was pushed to my feet.
"Watch the step" The voice was familiar, and I remembered the rebel general I had spoken to hours before when I had appeared out of nowhere before their eyes, telling them they were walking into a trap.
I had saved them from certain death, and I knew deep down they were grateful, but of course, they couldn't trust me so easily. I didn't know their specific practices, but many members of the empire were defecting, especially during this period, and I imagined there were tests or interrogations to be done before joining the resistance.
They couldn't risk a spy or worse.
I shivered as we walked on the ground. There was a smell of rain, and the earth underfoot was soft. The grass brushed my ankles, and gusts of wind blew my hair across my face, not that it really mattered since I couldn't see anyway.
We walked a few meters in silence until we reached a metal platform.
"And this one?" an unfamiliar voice spoke in front of us. "Maybe a new recruit. She saved our lives"
A few seconds of silence, and I was grabbed by the elbow again. I could hear doors opening in front of me with a hiss. Walking a few more meters, I was warned again about steps. We climbed two floors before I was pushed through yet another door.
Finally, the blindfold was removed from my eyes, and I could look around. I had been pushed into what seemed like an improvised cell. When I turned, the two familiar faces of the rebels I had helped grimaced apologetically.
"It's the procedure. Someone will come to interrogate you... but first, they'll make sure you don't have any trackers on you. The others will be here shortly. Good luck... I guess"
They closed the door, leaving me alone.
The blue walls were rusted, the window barred from the outside, allowing only a faint glow to enter. The artificial light was dim, and a dirty bucket was placed in a corner, paper carelessly strewn on the floor.
I sighed, sitting on the bunk at the back of the room. I noticed the flesh of my wrists had slightly torn, causing a few drops of blood to trickle down my hands. I hadn't really noticed, and I didn't care.
I wasn't yet sure this was the right path. On the one hand, I was afraid to run away alone. There was no one out there for me, no family, no friends, maybe someone who owed me favors... but now that I had lost the title from the empire, I probably wasn't even threatening in their eyes anymore, not without a show of strength at least.
In doubt, I had to think about my priorities, the things I needed now.
Besides, of course, making the resistance believe me, I needed to get my suppressors in time for next month without letting anyone know I needed them.
Officially, I was registered as a beta and wanted to maintain that status in everyone's eyes.
Especially if my lies had to seem credible.
I lost myself in my thoughts for a while when the door was reopened. In front of me, two human women and a Twi'lek signaled me to advance.
I said nothing as I walked down the corridors. I just wanted to get this part over with as quickly as possible, and anyway, I doubted they would answer my questions.
At the end of the corridor, a door opened directly onto a communal shower. One of the women cut the cloth binding my wrists and then told me to undress.
I did as ordered. I was happy to get rid of that uniform dirty with soot and earth anyway. I didn't really care about being naked in front of strangers, even when their gaze lit up with surprise.
I had a rather stocky body for an omega, with broad shoulders and thick joints, which had helped me hide my nature even from the most doubtful. Constant training was just the icing on the cake, no one saw me as weak.
I was still a woman in the eyes of the empire, and as such, they would always look at me with an irritated eye, but no one would dare say it to my face. I had the reputation of my master, after all.
The cold water jet was a punch in the stomach. The pressure mixed with the icy touch was really a nightmare to endure. They handed me a bar of soap to wash myself while the jet continued relentlessly. When it ended, I was shaking like a leaf.
They brought me a towel to dry myself. The girl stared at me intensely. As I squeezed my hair, a single question left her mouth "How did you get all those scars? An accident? A lightning strike?" I sighed, knowing perfectly well that their gaze had been drawn to those marks from the first moment.
Indeed, my body was covered with dense scars in the shape of jagged lightning bolts. They were all fine and now so old and clear that they weren't very noticeable at first glance.
But they were there.
As a reminder.
"A work accident" I replied weakly. I was too tired to maintain a stoic facade. They had me, so I might as well behave well.
She looked at me puzzled, perhaps trying to understand what kind of accident would fill your body with lightning scars without frying you alive, but she let it go. I had other superficial wounds, but nothing serious that needed treatment, so they simply handed me the uniform.
We moved to another room where I was scanned by a droid to see if I had any tracking devices or similar under the skin or hidden deeper. Fully checked, I was taken back to my cell.
"A member of the resistance will come in a few hours, they'll probably be the one to interrogate you. I suggest you rest" they left me a couple of fruits on a plate and locked me in.
I decided to take their advice to heart. I lay down on the bunk and fell asleep almost immediately. It wasn't so difficult, I was exhausted after the last few hours, my escape, and the stress of recent days, not to mention the first-time lack of an alpha by my side.
Over the years, it had happened many times that I found myself alone or far from my reference figure, but I knew I would return, that he would call me to ask how I was, that in the end, I could sleep with my back covered... but now all that was over.
I was alone.
And as much as I had always been trained to pretend to be a beta, my primal instincts were there. Under the skin.
Desiring the comfort of something, someone...
That would never come again.
I woke up suddenly feeling a jolt to the bunk. I turned sharply, but it was so small that I fell to the ground, my sacrum screaming for mercy from the impact with the hard floor.
I hissed with my lip between my teeth as I dragged myself with my elbows back onto the bed. Only once I was sitting on the mattress again, looking forward, did I notice there was someone in the room with me, the same one who had probably woken me up.
I recognized him immediately.
The jacket, the gun, the haircut, the scruffy beard... I knew that face very well.
Cassian Andor.
One of the biggest thorns in the Empire's side.
He could create enormous damage and then disappear as if nothing had happened. Scarif was one of the Empire's most shameful defeats thanks to him and his squadron, and consequently, the destruction of the first Death Star.
Even someone like me was useless, I was an enforcer, and he was a spy. You had to find him first to kill him.
And now he was in front of me.
After all those years of searching for him.
He was the cause of many of my pains.
It was... his fault that I had to run away.
I gripped the metal of the bunk under my fingers tightly, it would have taken so little... to snap his neck.
To suffocate him with the force.
To get the revenge I deserved.
But deep down, I knew he wasn't the cause of all my pain, just a collateral effect.
"Let's make this quick. How did you know about the ambush? What was your role in the Empire?" It was the first time I heard his voice in person, I had often listened to him in recordings or surveillance footage while we tried to track him down from one of his hideouts. He didn't talk much, he acted, definitively.
"The mechanic" I said, looking up at him. My voice was hoarse from not drinking a drop of water for hours. I tried to restrain myself from hitting him by surprise, I had to learn to calm the dark side.
I was nobody here.
No one respected me.
Or worse, if they knew the truth, maybe they wouldn't even interrogate me, I'd be executed right away.
I had to calm down.
He smiled ironically.
He looked down at me without shame, it was obvious he found me pathetic.
He reeked of arrogant alpha from a mile away, and having him in front of me finally confirmed my suspicions. He was a heavy presence in the room, oppressive.
He smelled of woods, forest, wet earth, and grass.
It was intoxicating, even though I could sense he was partly holding back from completely letting go, perhaps as a veiled threat that it could be much worse.
As a rule, betas were not influenced by alpha or omega hormones, but that didn't mean they weren't perceived.
I had to thank my blockers if I could withstand his presence so calmly, those and the dark side whispering to the rawest part of my instinct.
Turn fear into hate.
And hate into anger.
Peace is a lie.
"Sure. A mechanic who shows up out of nowhere warning us about the Empire's arrival. On a mission we've been organizing for months, which no one knew about. Yet the Empire not only was expecting us... but you knew it. A woman. A mechanic."
I wasn't particularly offended by the implication about my gender, I knew what he meant.
The Empire despised any kind of minority, with particular vehemence towards aliens and women, even worse if they were omegas.
On paper, all citizens had equal rights, but you only had to look around to feel the difference on your skin.
The closer you got to the inner rim, the more cities emptied of aliens. The Empire hardly hired them or women in general, those who succeeded were more daughters of Empire members. The schools made it really difficult to enroll the more "particular" members of society, and to top it all off, if it was discovered at a young age that you were an omega, you might as well hope for a miracle.
The best choice was to move to the periphery, but then the Empire's grip loosened, and the planets became more dangerous... at that point, the possibility of becoming prostitution merchandise for gangs or pirates was almost impossible to avoid.
"I'm good. And I don't ask questions" which wasn't a complete lie anyway.
He didn't seem satisfied with my answer. He took a couple of steps forward, towering over me. "The others said you came out of nowhere with a stolen ship above the moon where we had organized the exchange. You knew too much. Who did you work for? Where? And give me a sensible answer or I'll finish you here and now" he took the blaster at his side to emphasize the threat.
At that moment, I decided I hated Cassian Andor.
Yes, I already hated him, but it was more of a natural feeling due to our opposite positions in the war. Now I understood that I detested him.
"I worked for the most important members of the Empire. I was the personal assistant to the Dark Lord himself, I even took care of his suit" I said, standing up slowly, clenching my fists. I was still shorter than him, but I was able to stand my ground as we exchanged dagger-sharp glances.
"I'm good. You can test me if you don't believe me. And before you ask, yes, there was a need for at least a pair of human hands on Mustafar every now and then. I was quiet and took up little space" we remained silent for a few moments before he leaned towards me, invading my personal space. I could feel his breath on my face, the smell of fresh earth filling my nose.
"And why run away now? Yours doesn't seem like betrayal, more like a desperate escape. The scars, the abrasions..." I held back from rolling my eyes. Of course, they had told him.
"I reached my limit. Do you really need an explanation for wanting to escape?" He still didn't seem convinced, but he took a step back.
"And why come to us? Why not run away?"
I shrugged "I'm not used to surviving on my own. They would find me immediately. And anyway, I want to help"
He continued to look at me suspiciously before sighing tiredly "I'll do some research. Your story better check out. Your name?"
I hesitated whether to tell him my real name or not. Technically, it wasn't recorded anywhere. No one called me that except my master.
"Meetra"
He raised an eyebrow as if urging me to continue.
I whispered my surname uncertainly.
He wouldn't find anything.
Everything I was before the Empire had been erased. I didn't exist as a being, I was part of the machine built by the Emperor, an object, an extension of his will.
My name wasn't even my real one, it had been erased from my memory. I only knew what they had given me, a new daughter of the dark side.
I didn't exist before, and I had no future beyond.
At that moment, I realized how unconvincing I would seem in their eyes. They would never take me in like this. Not without certainties.
"I want to speak with Luke Skywalker. The boy who blew up the Death Star" Andor gave an ironic smile before turning his back, ready to leave. I grabbed his wrist forcefully
"I know things he needs. To save this galaxy"
I saw him turn quickly and push me against the wall, but I didn't resist. I had to keep up the facade. I was just a mechanic.
I hissed as he pressed me against the wall, my cheek on the cold metal. I was sure it would leave a bruise.
"Maybe you haven't noticed, but you're not in a position to negotiate. You'll talk. And then we'll see what to do with you" I could only look at him over my shoulder. I felt uncomfortable. It wasn't the threat itself.
It was... a strange awareness.
As if my primal instincts were waking up for the first time. The blockers kept both my heat and the more instinctive behaviors of my being at bay. I wasn't influenced by scents... I never had been. Not even before.
So... what was this... tremor?
"Then kill me. Let's end this here. Spare me the wait" I whispered.
As I spoke, I realized how much stronger his scent was now. Maybe due to irritation, he had exposed himself more, suffocating me with that dominant essence typical of an alpha.
I could feel it seeping into my skin.
"We'll see" he hissed in my ear before letting me go. He didn't wait a second before leaving the cell and closing the door, the familiar click of the lock engaging.
⋯ SUMMARY ; hoping to spent the rest of your evening in some relative peace, you stop by the cantina to numb yourself after a long days work. however, it seems that your singluar presence at the bar is noticed by more than one.
the dimly lit cantina was already buzzing after a long days work with the clinking of glasses and lively chatter. among the crowd, you sat alone at the bar, nursing a drink and observing the room. it had been a long day, and all you wanted was to relax and have a moment of solitude to yourself.
as you sipped your drink, a persistent presence materialized at your side. a tall, obnoxious man with a leering grin leaning in too close for comfort. "hey there, beautiful. what's a pretty thing like you doing all alone?"
your discomfort grew, and you discreetly angled your body away from the unwanted stranger. "just enjoying a quiet evening," you answered, hoping to discourage any further advances.
but any hint seemed to fly over the man’s head as he leaned further in, his words dripping with a sleazy charm. "well, i can keep you company, sweetheart. how about you and me get to know each other better?"
before you could respond, a sudden interruption cut through the tension. a familiar voice broke the uneasy atmosphere like a ray of sunshine. "sorry, she's taken," the voice declared with a touch of possessiveness.
you turned your head to find bix -- your good friend and the very person you had secretly been admiring for some time, standing behind you, arms crossed and radiating confidence as she locked eyes with the man.
the man looked skeptical. "oh, really? i don't see a ring on her finger." his arms crossing over his chest as he looked between the two of you with an almost rageful look -- hoping to call your buff. only, bix grinned mischievously and wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer. "we don't need a ring to be committed to each other. isn't that right, babe?" she snarked, looking at you with a playful intensity.
caught off guard, you found yourself playing along, nodding and placing a hand on bix's arm. "absolutely, darling. we're inseparable." the stranger's face contorted into a mixture of disappointment and frustration. "well, lucky you, i guess." he slinked away, leaving you alone with bix.
as the man disappeared into the crowd, you turned to bix, gratitude and curiosity swirling within you. "bix, thank you for stepping in. i didn't know you felt that way about me."
bix's confident facade faltered slightly, revealing a touch of vulnerability. "honestly, i couldn't stand seeing you being hit on like that. made me uncomfortable just watching it. and i care too much about you to let you go through that.”
you blinked owlishly, surprise falling along your features as you gaped up at the woman standing just in front of the stool you are perched upon, “you mean that?”
bix scoffs, “of course, i want to make sure my friends are safe. nothing wrong with that.” her shoulders shrug as if it’s the most obvious thing in the galaxy, and yet, you have the feeling that it’s not all of the story.
“but what made you pick to craft a fake relationship? i mean, it worked great but that’s not usually a go-to when trying to get someone to back off at a bar especially if they’re just friends.” you press, leaning forward slightly and gazing into her eyes with a knowing stare.
bix flinches slightly under the gaze, the action almost unseen if you hadn’t been sitting so close to her. then she sighs, shaking her head before stepping between your legs, “maybe i don’t want to be just friends.”
again, the comment catches you off guard and you nearly spit out your drink as her words make the connection in your brain. a warm smile spreads across her face, and her arms draw up from her sides to pulled you into a gentle embrace. "so, want to make this pretend relationship a real one?”
you nod, happiness running down your spine as you smile up brightly at her. "i'd love that.” and in that crowded bar, amidst the clinking glasses and lively chatter, the pretend relationship between you and bix transformed into a genuine connection.
