Cinamadness - (Satirical Sketch - Aug. 2013)
Lights up on Chuck and Sejan sitting on opposite sides of a table.
And welcome back to Cina-Madness, where we discuss Hollywood today. I’m Chuck White with special guest, Sejan Patjab, all the way from our sister company, Movie Madness Europe. Sejan, Ben Affleck was just announced as the next Batman in the ‘Man of Steel’ sequel. Now, you know how much this enrages me being a huge fan of the Batman story and character. That Warner Brothers think they can hit us over the head with such a poor casting move makes me want to sneak into each executive’s house while they are sleeping and eat their young fat babies. Your thoughts?
I can’t agree more, Chuck. It’s as if the guys over at Warner are trying to pull a Syria on us by spreading poisonous gas on innocent people while other countries look the other way. What do we have to do as a nation, to stand up against these evil cowards that take the easy route every time?
And cut. Great job Chuck. Sejan, you got to lose the Syrian stuff. None of our viewers are going to know what you are talking about.
Everyone knows what I’m talking about. It’s Syria.
I had no idea things were so intense in South America. Do I have any fly-aways?
(Chuck checks hair in hand mirror)
OK, We will pick up on Sejan’s first line. Check, give him a lead in. Quiet on set. Action.
And eat their young fat babies. Your thoughts?
You hit the nail on the head Chuck. American audiences want to see a darker, more tortured Batman, not some one-note actor like Affleck.
I couldn’t agree more. Switching topics, Breaking Bad cast member Anna Gunn wrote an article in The New York Times expressing her opinions on some of the hate mail and social media attacks on her character Skylar from the popular TV drama. If she already wasn’t one of the most hated actresses presently on screen because of her cold-hearted character, her article will definitely strike a nerve and make people despise her even more. American audiences don’t want to hear actors’ opinions from the atop a soapbox, we want good cinema and that’s it.
These pivotal and flawed female characters really do rile up viewers time and again. Maybe it’s because we expect female characters to be patient, family focused and ready to stand behind their male counterparts no matter what. Benazir Bhutto was criticized for possessing these characteristics and she was trying to bring Democracy to a people that were destroyed by military rule in many ways. For Skylar to want to-
Cut! Sejan, we’re taking it back. Bhutto? This isn’t CNN, buddy.
I’m sure Americans are well aware of Benazir Bhutto, Sean. She was in a lot of US interviews and-
- She was the one with the big rack right?
See, Europeans don’t know everything, Sean. Faulty depth perception to boot.
Thanks. Quiet on set, Cameras rolling. Taking it back to Sejan’s reaction. And Action.
These pivotal and flawed female characters really do rile up viewers time and again. Like Sonia Gandhi -
- Like the big-busted Real Housewife of Miami-
-Adrianna. Now, we are talking -
Like, Adrianna, she just might be a bit misunderstood in a world of idiots.