#andrewserkis

[peregrintookold]

“I wish Merry was here," he heard himself saying, and quick thoughts raced through his mind, even as he watched the enemy come charging to the assault. "Well, well, now at any rate I understand poor Denethor a little better. We might die together, Merry and I, and since die we must, why not? Well, as he is not here, I hope he'll find an easier end. But now I must do my best.”

- for @andrewserkis

[jaskwritesthings]

through dangers untold (and hardships unnumbered)

@andrewserkis asked: stealing a prompt from one of those lists, maybe "bandaging the other’s hand and not quite letting go" with shadowgast, if you feel like it?

warning/s: injury, angst, hurt/comfort

(ao3)

Given the monstrosities that stalked the fallen city and their lack of supplies, it could have been far worse than a night drained of magic under Caleb’s dome. They really should have returned to Nicodranas that morning but the lure of potential knowledge just round the corner had been too tempting a gamble. 

And far too close a call in retrospect.

Caleb reluctantly downed the last of their healing potions after a stern look from Essek while the drow pulled out one of their remaining healer’s kits to tend to his own arm. Caleb’s injuries had been far worse and though the burning sting curling up his arm was rather distracting and frustrating, Caleb was the one they needed in the best condition for transport and shelter. Essek didn’t think his skills with bandages could quite piece back together his lover’s guts the same way a potion could so Caleb would have to stew in his misplaced anger for the evening while Essek tried to settle his rattled nerves. 

Caleb apparently found the disparities in their magical capabilities to be a pressing matter that night as he unclasped his spellbook from its holder with a dramatic snap. He flipped through the pages before finding the one detailing the tiny hut spell in his delicate hand, after which he dropped the thick spellbook down in front of Essek as if to cut off future arguments about potion rations before they’d even begun. 

“Study,” Caleb insisted sharply, his tone brooked no argument. 

“My arm -” Essek attempted to counter with a faint growl to his words but Caleb ignored the warning, huffed loudly and dragged the kit away from Essek. He started to pull out the necessary bandages with a touch more force than necessary. 

Essek’s own particular brand of stubbornness almost made him want to yank back the kit in a fit of childish pique, like Verin would often do with his books to demand Essek’s attention when they were small and the manners intrinsic to the politics of the den hadn’t yet become muscle memory for the youngest members. 

Essek resisted though, too tired to fight Caleb as well that day though it let the anger simmer beneath his skin in favour of the terror that chocked him when the absorber raked its claws across Caleb’s stomach. 

He dutifully brought out his own spellbook, with a more petulant air than he perhaps intended if the roll of Caleb’s eyes was anything to go by, and set it down beside Caleb’s own book. 

“Take this off,” Caleb ordered, already tugging Essek’s cloak off of his shoulders. If Essek wasn’t irritated by his injury and Caleb’s continued disregard for his own safety, the way Caleb was taking charge and ripping off his clothes might have led to a far more enjoyable evening. As it stood Essek had a bone to pick with his partner. 

“You shouldn’t have focussed on me,” Essek scolded. He hissed as Caleb applied a thick green ointment to the scrapped skin around his arm. The absorber’s tail had wrapped around his arm tightly and when Caleb had launched a more compact and slightly less volatile version of Brenatto’s Fluffernutter to drive the beast back, the abrasive hide of its tail had ripped away a layer of his skin with it. 

Caleb muttered darkly in Zemnian before switching back to common to further scold him, “You were the one who drew its attention first.”

Essek stiffened as Caleb finished painting the tender skin in ointment, hiding the red that was such a jarring difference to his usual violet skin tone. Moments like this were a stark reminder of the life he had now chosen and how often he was proved to be an amateur at it. It never failed to make something horrible and cowardly curl in his gut, questioning his very reason for being there, whenever their hands and clothes were soaked in their own blood. Caleb began to wrap the wound from the shoulder, unaware of the familiar turmoil of Essek’s thoughts as he focussed on the task at hand. 

“Because it had joined its mate in targeting you, I was attempting to even the field a little,” Essek pointed out and Caleb pulled with bandage unnecessarily tight in retaliation for Essek’s logic. 

“I was fine.”

Essek growled and poked sharply at Caleb’s still healing side, the thin shirt was beyond the aid of a mending spell and the skin beneath had only just begun to knit itself back together. Essek could still see the violently red torn muscles as Caleb doubled over for a moment hissing through his teeth, “Yes, perfectly fine,” Essek snapped. 

Caleb looked ready to retort but seemed to take a moment to collect himself. After a few deep breaths he looked back at Essek, his gaze was fond but subtly mixed with a thread of grief that made something in Essek’s stomach curdle like he had eaten one of Jester’s stale cupcakes. There was a fear there that Essek knew far too well. 

“Perhaps next time we should bring Dagen?” Caleb suggested and Essek let his own  frustration bleed away. What use was anger when the battle was already done? He had no desire to attack Caleb, the very thought of it made him sick with half-remembered nightmares. 

He did want another shot at the absorber though but that, he was aware enough to know, came from a more animalistic rage than anything resembling intelligence. There was something primal and deeply alluring about the joy of taking down the beast that had hurt Caleb. But Essek was not a fighter by nature and he shied away from the dangerous potential of such thoughts. He knew where the line was, he’d crossed it already but Caleb both affirmed and muddied where his morality lay now. 

“Perhaps,” he muttered as he focussed on Caleb as he finished bandaging Essek’s hand. In stark contrast to earlier, his touch was soft as silk as he tied off the bandage. He held Essek’s hand between both of his, rubbing his thumb delicately over Essek’s skin. 

“We need someone to keep us in check, as I suspect neither of us will cease trying to protect the other,” Caleb mumbled with a small bittersweet smile. To love someone, Essek was learning, was to also know some measure of pain. Not unlike the tether essence spell, so often what happened to one of them reflected on the other. Essek would have despised the connection, the believed weakness of it all not long ago. But the Mighty Nein had changed him, Caleb had changed him. He couldn’t pretend it was a detriment anymore. There was strength in the bonds they’d all forged and he realised now how his life had been lacking something fundamental. 

Essek leant forward enough to push their foreheads together, “And you think Dagen is the man for the job? I believe we may annoy him enough that he’ll drop us down a ravine and offer a sad but humiliating obituary for our friends.” 

Caleb laughed lightly, “You may be right schatz, we may have to ensure he’s well paid.”

“Or at least offer only half up front,” Essek suggested, brushing their noses together. Caleb sighed, leaning into the affection but still carrying tension in his shoulders. 

“You vex me liebling,” Caleb mumbled and Essek snorted, stifling an undignified giggle. 

“As you test me,” he pointed out. 

Caleb chuckled slightly before sobering quickly, he breathed in deeply a few times as though trying to commit Essek’s very essence to his memory before exhaling a long resigned sigh, “Do not fall for my benefit,” he begged quietly, a lifetime of old grief in his shaky tone that made Essek’s heart ache something fierce. 

Essek reached out with his good hand to cup Caleb’s cheek gently, smiling a little as Caleb turned to kiss his palm, “Only if you can guarantee the same Caleb Widogast.” 

He tilted his head up to place a delicate kiss on Caleb’s furrowed brow, pressing all his love and hopes into the familiar action that once rearranged his own future. It was hardly the promise his heart wanted to make but it was far more sensible than what their fates usually dictated of the two of them. 

Caleb clutched his hand close to his face, his grip almost painful, as his lips lingered on his skin, he said nothing as they remained curled together under the protective shimmer of Caleb’s magic.

[outquisitor]

andrewserkis -> outquisitor

[andrewserkis]

andrewserkis -> outquisitor

[piratespencil]

satyr and paladin, for the cr asks? c:

Satyr: how did you discover critical role

Oh boy. The short story is: TLoVM got me hooked.

The long story is: My coworker was a CR fan and suggested I get into CR when ExU Prime started. I listened to the first couple eps of ExU as they were coming out, kind of enjoyed it but got really confused about all the references to Exandria stuff that I didn't understand, and dropped off after a couple eps. Then TLoVM came out and that same coworker suggested I watch TLoVM so I did and I loved it, which somehow led me to bingeing all of Narrative Telephone with my roommate, which got me obsessed with the cast. And then I decided, well, there are only like 14 eps of c3 out right now, I could catch up... So I did... And then I was like, well, I have time at work to listen to podcasts... So I think I'll listen to all of c2... And here I am, 111 eps deep into c2 and haven't missed a live ep of c3 since. :) Will I listen to c1 next?? Probably tbh.

(Paladin is on here twice for some reason so I guess I'll do both lol!)

Paladin: what is your favorite friendship

I've talked before about how much I love Veth and Jester's friendship, so I'll go with another favourite and say that Beau and Fjord's friendship is sooooo so good. Just from day one they have such a fun bro dynamic. Fjord coaching Beau on how to be more personable and Beau never taking offense to that. The way they so often turn to each other for validation, the way they're always checking up on each other. Just. They are bros in such a fun way I love them.

(Ohh or Team Cleric!! That's another fave friendship for sure.)

Paladin: what was your favorite badass moment

There are like a million options here but uhhh let's go with a TLoVM moment - the Killbox fight was sooo cool. Highlight of season 2 for sure. The music, the visuals? The narrative importance of Grog calling on his friends in that moment? The cool little bit just before the fight starts where you see Percy and Keyleth and the twins in silhouette on the roofs?? Badass as hell.

(Ask me more Critical Role questions!)

[saturdaysky]

🌹💜

Mildly canon-divergent WIP where the Nein stay an extra day at the Vurmas outpost before leaving, and Essek teaches Caleb Tether Essence and Temporal Shunt:

Essek busies himself with clearing a space in the cramped room. With a gesture, two stools float to the center and perch themselves a few feet apart. “You may, ah, take a seat if you wish,” he murmurs as he turns the gesture toward the stacks of books that surround the desk and have begun to encroach on the already limited floorspace. They are carefully moved and restacked against the wall.  Caleb takes a seat and squints at the titles. Undercommon, mostly, but he spots a few in languages he can read. Books on Aeor and the Astral Sea, all of a finer quality than might be expected here in the Biting North. “Does the outpost have so vast a library?” Essek chuckles once, without much amusement. ”No, it is a pity. Those are from the Conservatory. I risked a trip there while you were all away.” He pads to the back of the room, and then crouches to unlock a small, dark chest shoved into the corner by the desk. “It seemed better to have the knowledge in case it was needed, and teleportation was...kind, this time.” “That is good,” Caleb says blandly, feeling a little out of place as Essek prepares. Essek has not asked for help, and Caleb does not know if it would be welcome to offer it.  “And if I don’t make it back,” Essek continues with bleak amusement, drawing from the chest several pieces of chalk and a box that rattles with what Caleb guesses are spare spell components, “well, failing to return Conservatory materials will be somewhere in the middle of my list of crimes.” 

[bolairelatthalia]

Helloo I am very very late but I only just saw the wip title ask game so :') if you still feel like doing one of those ages after the fact I am very curious about a Christmas detour!

absolutely no bother my friend!!!

a christmas detour was originally a wip for another fandom yyyeeaarss ago, there was a hallmark movie themed big bang or something along that line. but the idea was to take the blorbos and shove them into the 10 000 romance holiday b movies that go straight on the devoted channels. sadly i never managed to finish for the bang but happily for me the idea stuck like a limpet so now i get to shove caleb and essek into a generic holiday romance where there's only one bed at the cosy b&b and they're snowed in! i do hope to actually have this one out round the holidays, it's a one-shot and with only the sprinkling of angst appropriate to career girl essek choosing love and happiness over capitalism but i shall keep other details under wraps ;)

[the-kaedageist]

Hey, I hope this isn't weird, but I saw you mention feeling down tonight and wanted to send some general love your way ❤❤❤ You are such a kind and welcoming presence and such a talented writer and I hope you get some good things and some rest coming your way soon

I hope you don't mind me answering this publicly - this was such a sweet message and it absolutely made me feel so accepted and honored to be part of this wonderful fandom. Luckily my down mood was mostly related to a stressful day and having to end my recent two-month catsitting gig (I miss that cat SO much 😭) so it's nothing terribly serious. I appreciate your kind thoughts, and they definitely helped me feel better after last night's funk! 💖