i was thinking abt my personal finances this morning and i was like hehe what if every time android!y/n gets a receipt she hands it off to yoongi who slurps it up like a noodle and updates his internal spreadsheet and is like “y/n you’ve spent nearly 37% on this months budget on scented candles don’t u think it’s time to chill”
yoongi actually has a banking application as part of his many maNy talents which y/n has been trying to convince namjoon to uninstall because she feels like the things that one chooses to purchase should be personal!!!! so WHAT if she likes to spend her money on scented candles!!!! she can’t even sneakily buy things for herself because once she hits that ‘purchase’ button yoongi immediately gets notified
like he’ll stop reading all of a sudden and look over at her and he’ll go: “…what did you just buy from amazon” (because while he can see the website she purchases her things off of he can’t see what she’s bought specifically) and she’ll mutter something under her breath (which of course he still hears because hello supersonic hearing) and then he’ll let out a breath before making a ‘hm’ noise that’s supposed to say ‘i know it’s your money and all but whY would you buy that’
and you know what!!! y/n is siCK of his attitude!!! sure she loves yoongi and all but she hates the eye rolls and the judgemental twist of his lips and the offhand comments that are supposed to be ‘’teasing’’ but come out as just ruDE so when she makes her next purchase she makes sure to SLAM that purchase button and-
“Oh my- seriously?” yoongi stops slicing the vegetables for dinner to turn and glance at you sitting at the kitchen island “You just bought something yesterday. What did you buy now??” he scoffs before returning his attention to the veggies
“well, if you must know, my sweet yoongi-” you pause and lean back against your chair “i just bought amazon’s best-selling vibrator.”
yoongi freezes
you bought amazon’s what
“yeah! i just watched a buzzfeed video on it and it seems like it’s worth the money, so why not?”
“I… well, it’s your money, so.” he clears his throat before swallowing thickly
why did you buy a vibrator????? HE is literally a vibrator!!!!!
oh god
is he not good at his job anymore
maybe he should call namjoon and talk to him about some upgrades
no but that would be slightly embarrassing he can’t do that
“’died, resurrected, died again. i was walking side to side after i finished using this thing, you’ll feel like you just had your best dick appointment ever.’” you giggle to yourself as you read the 5 star reviews out loud “’y’all i have never squirted in my life but this rigHT HERE!! if your man ain’t doing you like this toy then rePLACE HIM-’”
yoongi stops listening at this point because now he’s just getting tOO into his head about this
…are you planning to replace him with an inferior little bright PINK machine
he takes a second to rifle through all the recorded videos he has of you
and you seEm to be enjoying yourself in every single video so he doesn’t know what he-
oh you certainly liked when he did that
and that
and that’s the time he nearly broke the headboard from gripping it too hard
but in all the files not once has he made you squirt
what even is squirting????
it sounds so.,,. aggressive
Squirting [skwurt-ing]: Squirting is a slang term for female ejaculation. In pornography, it usually features a voluminous-
okay that’s enough of that
“it’s a good thing i have amazon prime. i’m actually pretty excited no-”
“Alright, come on.” yoongi drops the knife on the chopping board before practically ripping his apron off “Let’s go.”
“what are you talking abo-” you barely get a chance to respond before yoongi’s grabbing you and tossing you over his shoulder like a rag doll “yoONGI-”
“Stupid little pink vibrator trying to steal my job-” yoongi mutters under his breath as he storms down the hallway
well
you certainly weren’t expecting him to respond like this but you can work with it
the one where yoongi finds the scrapbook you didn’t have the chance to give him
☁ pairing: min yoongi x reader
☁ genre: android!yoongi universe, heartwrenching angst, sad hours!!
☁ summary: yoongi misses you more than you could ever know.
☁ wordcount: 2.4k
☁ trigger warnings: mentions of character death
☁ note: sUPER!!!!! important that you listen to this while you read the drabble to set the mood! i tried to keep the drabble short so that you’d be able to finish reading it just as the song wraps up buT once again this was a baby drabble that spun out of control so i suppose you could always play it on repeat til ya finish reading lol // this drabble honestly came out of nowhere buT it was really gloomy out today so i wrote a drabble inspired by the movie ‘up’
(gif isn’t mine!)
━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━
yoongi first stumbles upon the scrapbook when going through the closet to choose an outfit for you (he ended up choosing that dark blue floral dress you liked so much)
he thought it was one of your old notebooks from university but… it’s not
it was tucked underneath a whole bunch of old shoe boxes filled with extra nuts and bolts and wires
‘𝓼𝓽𝓾𝓯𝓯 𝔀𝓮 𝓭𝓲𝓭’
yoongi furrows his brows as he brushes his fingers over the foam letters that have obviously been hot glued onto the front of the faded leather journal
he opens the book to a random page and his eyes immediately start watering when he sees your handwriting
you always did have the prettiest handwriting
‘remember when-‘
yoongi slaps the book shut and shakes his head before tucking it away and getting back up onto his creaky knees
(namjoon’s starting to lose his touch) ((yoongi noticed his frail fingers trembling the other day when he was tightening a screw in his leg))
he’s not going to read the book
yoongi shuts the closet door quietly
he’s not going to even open the book
so
the thing is
yoongi still hasn’t touched the book but he’s thought about it every single day
he hasn’t touched it because he knows that if he opens it up and looks through it the realisation that you’re no longer with him will finally start to sink in
he knows it’s been two months since you passed
he knows it’s been two months since he last held your hand and kissed you and told you how much he loved you
he knows it’s been two months since he last woke up to the sight of you curled up next to him
he knows it’s been two months since he’s started coming back to a cold and dark apartment instead of a warm and bright one where you greet him at the door and smother him in kisses before starting to blab about your day
it’s just
weird
it’s weird not having you around
it’s weird not hearing you tinker around in the kitchen at three in the morning snacking on some animal crackers or going hAm on a tub of ice cream (even after all these years he still thinks it’s funny how you always seem to think you can get away with your midnight snacking)
it’s weird having to wash and dry the dishes all by himself because you were always the designated dryer and he’s caught himself holding out a freshly washed plate next to him on more than one occasion
he’s used to you standing right next to him and now there’s no one there
it’s weird doing all the chores alone
you were awful at folding the laundry but yoongi liked having you next to him struggling to fold up a pair of jeans
it’s weird not seeing you vacuum the living room while humming a song to yourself and bopping around all over the place
it’s weird when he cooks dinner now because he doesn’t have you peeking over his shoulder and begging him to give you a little taste of the spaghetti sauce before he plates dinner
it’s weird watching tv alone
it’s weird not turning his head and seeing you all snuggled up on your sofa chair because you fell asleep halfway through a movie of yoongi’s choice (you were never really an action movie person)
it’s weird not having to pull the covers aggressively over him halfway through the night because you were always a blanket hogger
it’s weird not making faces with you in the mirror every morning when the two of you are brushing your teeth
he hasn’t touched any of your things
your toothbrush is still sitting next to his
the right side of the bed still belongs to you
the framed picture of you and namjoon from university days still sits on your bedside counter (right next to the framed picture of you and yoongi at that pottery place you took him to for his birthday) ((the two of you are sitting across from each other and your clay-stained hands are squishing yoongi’s cheeks together while yoongi’s face is all scrunched up)) (((jungkook took the photo)))
the right side of the closet still belongs to you
all your old cardigans and sweaters and t-shirts (some borrowed aka stolen from yoongi) are still hanging there
the knitted blanket that he made for you still hangs over the arm of your chair in the living room
he hasn’t even touched the jar of soft caramel chews that sit on the coffee table (it took a loT of convincing for yoongi to let you fill an entire jar up with candy)
the apartment is far too quiet
the only thing that can be heard right now is the soft pitter patter of the rain against the windows and the occasional rumble of thunder
yoongi glances out the window for a brief second and watches as a flash of lightning lights up the sky for a moment
it’s been raining a lot as of late
you always thought that rainy days were perfect for staying inside to snuggle up together and read a book
yoongi perks up slightly and looks down the hallway to where the bedroom is
…a book.
“You were never really an arts and crafts person, so this is a surprise to me.” yoongi says aloud as he sits back down on his chair with the leather scrapbook on his lap
he smooths a hand over the front cover and raises a brow when he notices one of the foam letters coming loose “You have the crafting abilities of a child, you know that?”
he can practically feel you slapping his arm and letting out a whine at how hard he’s ripping into your crafting abilities
he gives it a quick flip through as to prepare himself for all the things he’s about to see
the book is practically bursting considering it seems like you tried to shove as much stuff in here as possible
also the pages smell like the perfume you like to wear
very sweet and flowery
you’ve taped polaroid pictures in there along with other little mementoes like movie tickets and a copy of your work ID from bangtan laboratories and even a copy of yoongi’s blueprints that you stole from namjoon and a couple dried petals from the bouquet of roses yoongi gave to you on one valentine’s day aND of course the bracelets you got from when yoongi took you to the winter carnival
there are even the photobooth pictures that you guys took at the carnival
yoongi proposed to you halfway through posing for pictures because he wanted to be able to capture the exact moment he asked you to marry him
the first picture is of you mimicking yoongi’s poker face (he always thought your poker face was shiT) ((and he was right)) with yoongi rolling his eyes next to you
the second picture is of you with your tongue sticking out and your eyes crossed as yoongi is faced away from the camera rummaging through his jacket pocket
the third picture is of you suddenly being aware of the purple velvet box yoongi has in his hand and the look of pure shock on your face aLways makes him laugh
the fourth picture is of you with watery eyes and a gaPing mouth because yoongi just asked you to marry him
and the last picture is of you practically tackling yoongi in the cramped booth
all that can be seen is one of yoongi’s legs and arms in the air because you did actually tackle him strAight out of the booth
he flips to the next page and purses his lips when he sees that there’s nothing on the page besides a hastily written note
‘flip to page 6’
hm
yoongi can’t help but snort lightly when he sees the note you left for him on page 6
‘made you look, you gullible-ass android - you were always so easy to prank! still love you though xoxoxoxoxo’
it looks like you left a kiss mark next to the note even though it’s kind of faded now
he always liked it when you wore that wine-red lipstick
‘remember when you got mad at me for breaking my bracelet that one time? …i kind of did it again.’
you took your bracelet apart and pulled out the wires and then glued them into the shape of a heart for the sake of sticking it into your scrapbook and yoongi laughs lightly at the memory of him taking care of you all night after he picked you up from that club and you were practically stumbling all over the damn place
he remembers how you asked him to stay with you that night after he tucked you into bed
and he did
he stayed with you
you told him he was warm and he said it was because of his generator
he only said that because he was nervous!!!!
there’s a handwritten recipe for chocolate chip zucchini bread taped to this page
he smiles and dusts his fingers over the spot on the page that’s been stained with chocolate
he remembers how he insisted on making zucchini bread for your birthday instead of a traditional birthday cake because it was his way of sneaking more vegetables into your diet and aLso it has less sugar and is less fattening so!!!!
also zucchini bread is vEry good and you can’t even taste the zucchini so it’s a win-win situation
and somehow you had snuck into the kitchen while he left to go dig through the pantry for some sugar and you had sprinkled a handful of chocolate chips into the batter before quickly getting the heCk out of there
yoongi hadn’t noticed the chocolate chips until he cut a slice for you and noticed that his knife had streaks of melted chocolate and-
“You didn’t.” yoongi gawks and watches as you rip a chunk off and pop it into your mouth
you swallow your bite and hum happily “oh, but i did!”
yoongi sighs and reaches over to dot a bit of melted chocolate onto the tip of your nose “You drive me absolutely crazy, you know that?”
“i’ve been told.”
and on this page you made a little pocket and slipped the CD from your wedding into it
‘side a has our wedding video; side b has all the songs we danced to.’
yoongi recalls the night you came home with a whole list of songs that you wanted to dance to at the wedding
yoongi wasn’t programmed to be a dancing android so he was ready to download some software and become a professional waltzer in five seconds flat but you stopped him because you said you wanted to teach him how to dance
“Learning is hard.” yoongi grumbles as he tries to figure out the footwork of the waltz “Also, shouldn’t I be leading this dance?”
“i’m going to lose my toes if you lead the dance.” you snort and hit the play button on your phone “now, c’mon!”
yoongi lets out a sigh as you place your hand on his shoulder and he reaches out to grip at your waist
you take his other hand in yours and take a step forward
yoongi takes a step back at the same time
okay
yeah
this is boring
yoongi’s not doing this
“I do not want to waltz.”
you let out a gasp when yoongi suddenly spins you around in a circle before pulling you close and wrapping his arms around your waist
“Can we dance like this?” he grabs your arms before hanging them loosely around his neck
you let out a soft giggle and lean in to press your forehead against his as the two of you sway back and forth “you’re lucky i love you so much.”
“That is one of the reasons as to why you are marrying me, yes?”
“…you got me there.”
as he continues to flip through the book and look through all the memories that he shared with you, yoongi feels a lump growing in his throat and a twinge of pain blossom in his chest when he reaches the last page and sees that you’ve left a note for him
he brushes his fingers across each word
‘to my favourite human mind model adaptive super android, m1n y00ng1: thank you for giving me the best years of my life. thank you for being my best friend. thank you for the adventure of a lifetime. i love you. yours forever, y/n.’
the note is fairly short and sweet but it still manages to make yoongi let out a choked sob
thank you for giving me the best years of my life.
you were the best thing to ever happen to him
thank you for being my best friend. thank you for the adventure of a lifetime.
you made him so immensely happy and he’s enjoyed spending his life with you because you really were the love of his life
i love you.
he loves you now and he’ll love you forever.
he misses you.
he misses you so much it hurts
he misses the sound of your laugh and the feeling of your skin and the smell of your hair
he misses hearing you call for him when you need help with something and he misses having you scold him for not charging up overnight and instead playing video games with jungkook (it took more than a couple years but he eventually warmed up to the goofball)
yoongi’s vision is completely blurred from how many tears keep leaking out of his eyes
he reaches up to cover his face with his hands after a droplet drips down from his chin and bleeds into the paper
this is the first time he’s properly sobbed since your funeral
he kept it together for the most part but as soon as he got home and shut the door behind him he collapsed to his knees and began to cry his heart out
but of course
he knew that you always hated seeing him cry so he forced himself to get a hold of himself for as long as possible
but looking through this scrapbook that you made detailing your guys’ life together is just too much for him to bear
he holds the book to his chest and shuts his eyes before leaning his head back against the plush chair
a single tear rolls down the side of his face
yoongi misses you every day
but on your guys’ anniversary?
he can’t help but miss you a little more than usual.
can u imagine android yoongi meeting hwayoung or somethin like maybe namjoon and his patent with yoongi’s system and design grows and yoongi’s board of directors are like maybe we should look to expand and yoongi is like ok so he has a meeting with namjoon and yoongi and eventually they get down to business so yoongi and y/n just wander around and decide to get lunch at the vegan place down the street where ceo yoongi’s wife is chilling with hwayoung and maybe the lil rascal wanders off...
should i be concerned that yoongi n y/n always seem to lose their child
yoongi doesn’t typically like going to restaurants with you mainly because he,.,. literally can’t eat anything
but yoU heard about this hip new vegan place that opened a couple blocks away from your apartment and you got excited when you looked through the menu and saw that they had a mac n cheese burger kind of thing
mac and cheese on a buRGer!!!!!
who comes up with this stuff??
anyways you told yoongi to grab a table while you waited in line
you’ve been waiting in line for like 20 minutes and yoongi’s starting to run out of patience
he’s already run a full body scan on every single person in the restaurant and he’s about to go over to that guy in the corner and tell him to slow down on the fries because he already has high blood pressure
yoongi looks down at his feet when he feels a tiny hand wrap around his ankle
he pushes his chair back from the table to get a proper look
what in the world
“Greetings, infant.” yoongi blinks down at the random baby sitting in between his feet
“habwah.”
“You should not be on the floor. The floor is dirty.” he swoops down to scoop her up before holding her out in front of him and kind of letting her dangle over the table
“Where are your parental units?”
“bah?”
“I said, where are your parental units?”
“bah!” she kicks her little legs in the air and yoongi lets out a sigh
“That is not an answer.”
human babies are so stupid
when he was six months old he could do sO much more than a six month old human baby
yoongi keeps her held at an arm’s length away from him as he looks around the restaurant
his facial recognition software should be able to do the trick and he’ll find this thing’s parents in no time
he does another quick scan of the restaurant
…
…
…
huh
no results
maybe it’s because he’s only like 80% charged??
he’ll have to ask namjoon to tweak the software for him
he turns his head to look back at the baby who is currently gnawing on her fist and blinking owlishly at him
“I apologize. It seems I am unable to locate your parental units.”
“hasjdasbhaha-”
“You are speaking gibberish. I do not understand a word you are saying.”
“holy shiT yoongi take a look at this burger-” you set your tray down on the table and look over at y- “you have a baby. why do you have a baby?”
what the heck
why does he have a baby?????
“It is not my baby. I am unable to reproduce. Also, I am technically someone of the male gender and it is a known fact that only females are able to-”
“i know it’s not your baby you dummy- where did you find her?? and why are you holding her like you’re allergic to babies??” you scowl and lean over to pluck her from yoongi’s hands “hi, cutie…” you coo and set her down on your lap
she immediately reaches up to tug at your necklace and you can’t help but pinch her chubby little cheek “do you wike fwench fwies? you want a fwench fwy??”
“Why are you speaking like that? What is wrong with your pronunciation?” yoongi frowns “Are you suffering from a stroke at the moment?”
goD
yoongi drives you crazy sometimes
you give him a pointed look before gesturing to the baby “it’s called baby talk, yoongi. you should try it! here, you watch her and i’ll ask around to see if there are any parents missing a child-”
baby talk, huh?
okay
he’ll give it a shot
yoongi clears his throat and sets her down on his lap so that she’s facing him
she blinks up at him
he blinks down at her
he supposes she’s kiND of cute compared to other human babies he’s seen
her nose kind of looks like his
“Small human. Would you like some sustenance? Perhaps a ‘fwench fwy’?” he wiggles a fry in front of her face and she starts making grabby hands at it
she loVes french fries >:-))))
yoongi immediately tosses it baCk onto your plate and wags a finger at her “That was a trwick question. You never accept food from stwangers. You have failed the test.”
he thinks he’s got the hang of this baby talk thing
drabble abt android yoongs and he has a bug, BUT it makes him hilarious. like he'll b in the middle of scolding yn for eating pizza, but like midsentence he'll say something like apple tateroR he'll try to hand yn a cup and suddenly yEETS it across the room (ofc not hitting anyone or anything) oR like his hand falls off or a tiny skin tear riPS open and scares yn and shes sobbing calling namjoon saying YOONGIS FACE MELTED OFF
when he finds out he has a bug he will most definitely have fun with that because y/n is a prankster herself and yoongi thinks she deserves a taste of her own medicine; yoongi’ll be teasing her about something and y/n will very lightly punch his arm but suddenly
“oH MY GOD” you screech when yoongi’s arm suddenly pOPS out and the wires start fizzLing and popping “jesus, yoongi, are you okay?? i didn’t even hit you that hard!!!”
yoongi groans and drops the ground and you’re panicking because you need to call namjoon noW
“Y/N…” yoongi groans and you get down on the ground to help him up and he looks up at you-
you scramble back when you get a proper look at yoongi
you see the 1s and 0s glitching underneath his skin
uh oh
the last time that happened things didn’t turn out so well
“H-help me… I’m… I’m…”
suddenly he collapses on the floor and it’s just silence
he twitches slightly
“y-yoongi?” you reach over to pat his head when suddenly he roARS to life and you let out an ear piercing scream when you see the face you’ve come to know and love
h-his face
his.,., his sKIN
half of yoongi’s face starts dripping onto the wood and he slams a hand on the ground and starts pulling himself towards you
he’s grinding his teeth together and snarling at you like some rabid dog
his eyes have gone reD and he kind of looks like the terminator which would be cool only it’s not because it looks like you’RE ABOUT TO BE termiNATED
his fingers dig into the floorboards and you immediately burst into tears as you clamour backwards
and then your back hits the front door
you immediately reach up to open the door and you’re surprised to find that the knob’s gone completely stiff and you can’t turn it
a month ago namjoon hooked yoongi up to every single thing in your apartment as a trial for his new project
very similar to google home or alexa
which is kind of cool but the poiNT is
yoongi,,.., locked the doors
there’s nowhere to go
there’s nO escape
yoongi starts pulling himself faster towards you like a starving zombie while you’re screaming and crying and when he wraps his half-human half-skeletal fingers around your ankle you immediately start freaking out even more and-
“Alright, I am done. It seems I raised your blood pressure very significantly, which is not great.” yoongi lets out a sigh and pushes himself up off the ground
wait what
you sniffle at wipe at your swollen eyes and yoongi looks down at you
he sTILL looks terrifying and you don’t know if you can trust him
“I pranked you again!” he cheers and sticks his hand out for you “Just like the other time I pranked you!”
“the last time you pranked me you made me think you didn’t know who i was” your voice wavers and you sniffle again “you need to learn how to pull less traumatic pranks”
yoongi frowns and tilts his head “You seem to be upset. Are you upset with me?”
“of couRSE i’m upset with you, you maNIAC”
hopefully namjoon’s alexa doesn’t turn out like this
cee please i’m gonna cry about hwayoung meeting all of these yoongis and loving the shit out of them bc they all look like her dad and oh boy android yoongi is gonna be a bit down in the dumps when he gives back hwayoung and is like hold on y’all look like us and then he’ll be back in his y/n’s apartment and he won’t really talk about it bc whatever but he’ll be sad bc now he knows what the kid he and y/n will never be able to make looks like and omg i’m sobbing
why..,. would you.,,. why would you,.. wHY WOULd yOU.,.,
also u get a free biology lesson from this baby drabble so whoever said that tumblr isn’t an educational platform can kiss my ass!!!!!!!!!!
“she was a little cutie, wasn’t she?” you turn to glance at yoongi over your shoulder as you kick your shoes off and and shove your keys back into your pocket
you are reAdy to dig into this burger
you decided to bring it home because the restaurant was getting kind of crowded
it’s gotten kind of cold now and the fries are kind of soggy but you are not about to waste this expensive vegan mac and cheese burger just because it’s abandoned for like forty minutes
the point is
you managed to find the parents of the adorable little girl who had crawled her way under the table
her dad was kinda hot but thAt is a thought that you will keep to yourself for now
and now you have returned to your own baby
this beautiful beautiful burger
>:-)
“Yes. Yes, she was.” yoongi mutters as he follows you to the kitchen
you hum happily as you start to unpack your takeout box
it’s cold but it’s nothing a quick thirty seconds in the microwave can’t fix
“what’s the matter with you?” your brows knit together in confusion when you notice yoongi with a little frown on his face
oOh they gave you extra banana peppers on the side!!!
spicY
“I just… It’s nothing, do not worry about it.” he shakes his head
it was just.,., weird
when you guys were going around the restaurant asking if anyone had lost their child yoongi caught a glimpse of the three of you in the mirror and it almost seemed like you guys were a happy little family
“bahwah!” the small human squirms in yoongi’s arms and pats her tiny hands against his cheek
yoongi blinks down at her and the tiniest of smiles tugs at the corner of his mouth “I still do not understand a word you are saying, miniature human.”
he thought his facial recognition software was on the fritz but it was working perfectly fine
the weird part about it was that the result of the software concluded that you and yoongi were the parental units of the baby
that baby was the perfect combination of your guys’ faces and yoongi didn’t get a chance to think about it before the baby was being yanked out of his arms and plopped into the arms of her actual father
and that family whisked out of the restaurant before yoongi could take a good look at them
“you’re obviously going to continue being mopey if you don’t talk about it, so just tell me what’s wrong!”
“You do not think that that child resembled us?” yoongi blurts out and crosses his arms
you immediately pull a face at him and scoff
what in the hell is he talking about
“are you feeling okay? is this because taehyung accidentally used the wrong kind of motor oil-“
“I am perfectly fine. Y/N, come on. You cannot tell me that that baby did not kind of look like us.”
“…why don’t you stay here and chill?” you clear your throat and narrow your eyes at yoongi “i’m going to make a quick call-“
“No. Stay.” yoongi gives you a warning look and you grumble to yourself before sitting down on the stool
obviously he’s not going to let this conversation go so you might as well just let him do his thing
“Hypothetically speaking, let us say that I have the ability to impregnate you.”
“you sure do know how to make a girl swoon, yoongi.” you mutter and pick at your sad french fries
you will admit that the thought of carrying yoongi’s baby is kind of exciting
kind of
“Each human somatic cell contains two of each type of chromosome.”
yoongi blinks twice and you jump in surprise when a hologram beams out from his eyes and right in front of you like a little tv screen
oh god
so this is going to be one of those speeches
you usually like watching tv while you eat but not if it’s this kind of tv
“One chromosome of each of the 23 pairs come from the mother, and the other from the father. When gametes are produced by the process of meiosis, the paired homologous chromosomes separate so that each gamete contains only one of the pair of alleles for each trait.” yoongi explains in detail and you watch as the squiggly blue and green worm-looking things combine together “Which chromosome from each of the 23 homologous pairs of both parents is inherited is a matter of chance, that being said-“
“i’m not going to lie, you lost me after ‘each human somatic cell’.” you smile sheepishly and scratch the back of your neck
biology was never your strong suit in high school
yoongi lets out a breath and blinks twice
the hologram disappears and you’re met with the sight of a frustrated looking yoongi
“i still don’t see what the point of this mini biology lecture is-“
“There are 8,324,608 possible combinations of 23 chromosome pairs.” yoongi interrupts you and plants his hands on the kitchen island before leaning forward a little “And that child was one of the possible combinations out of our 8,324,608 combinations. Y/N. That’s our baby.”
question: if all the yoongis and y/ns had to fight to the death to win hwayoung which couple would come out victorious
→ genre: android!yoongi has retuRNED, usual dosage of crackheadiness, touch of anGst ouch, jealous!yoongi is always spicy, fluff!!!!, a lil bit of making out lol it’s what the birthday bot wanTed
→ wordcount: 3.4k
→ summary: you take yoongi to a cute lil pottery place for his birthday so how did is it that jungkook is the one who ends up with his arms wrapped around you helping you form your vase?
→ note: a lot of people have been wanting an android!yoongi drabble because appArently you guys miss him (me too binch) so here he is!!! okay i won’t lie this gets a little depressing but it GETS BETTER AT THE END don’t be upset with me i know this is supposed to be a happy birthday drabble lol anyways happy birthday to min frickin yoongi the man of my dreams
(gif isn’t mine!)
“surprise!!” yoongi yanks the sleeping mask from his eyes and does a quick scan of his surroundings
a huge shelf on the right with a punch of ceramic plates and mugs
there are a couple sinks in the back
on the right are eight little stools in a big circle with a spinner in front of each one
each spinner has like a… a grey loaf of bread sitting on it
what in the world
“we’re making pottery! isn’t that exciting?? i rented out the entire place for us!”
yoongi ruffles his newly-dyed blonde hair (courtesy of tae) and looks around again
no
not really
namjoon’s checking in at the front desk and he has to keep a firm hold on tae anD kook to make sure they don’t accidentally knock something over
joon doesn’t know why you chose to bring these animals to a place with very fragile and delicate items everywhere you turn
he can already imagine the cost of the damage bill that he’s inevitably going to have to pay
“Pottery? But it’s so messy. And the end result isn’t going to be pretty.” yoongi frowns and lets go of your hand “Pottery isn’t fun.”
you falter but quickly shake it off and recompose yourself
“well yeah i know but it’s all about the experiEnce and also it’s really fun playing with wet clay you’ll see-“
“Why don’t you just take me to an actual ceramics store and buy a professionally made, beautifully painted and polished, brand-new vase for me? That’d be much better than making one for me.” yoongi scoffs and pulls his phone out
okay
ouch
you’re about to fight back but you bite down on your tongue
you know what
he’s the birthday boy
if he doesn’t wanna do this that’s fine
you’ll admit you’re a lil disappointed because you thought this’d be really fun for him and u wanted to make things with him and also it’s a little too late to refund and cancel the reservations but
what can u do
“okay, well… are you just going to sit here and wait for us?” you gesture to the waiting area near the door
“I’m more than content with that.” yoongi plops down on the squeaky plastic chair before gesturing over to where the boys are “Go have fun. I’ll be here.”
ur not gonna have fun if your boyfriend is sitting all the way across the damn room
you purse your lips and let out a sigh
“ok i will.” you try your best not to sound disappointed and you hAte that your eyes are prickling with tears
u hate that you’re so sensitive
you just!!! wanted to have fun with yoongi and you really thought he’d at least put in a little drop of effort but appArently noT
yoongi’s eyes flicker up from his phone because he immediately sense your distress but
he doesn’t do anything
you hurry over to your spot and yoongi lets out a little sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose
okay look
yoongi just doesn’t like celebrating his birthday because it’s not even a ‘birth’ day
today is just the day that he was officially put together and turned on and that’s just?? not a birthday to him
and that just makes him feel,.,,. weird
and it just reminds him that he’s not actually a human being celebrating their birthday
and then thAt reminds him that he’s not a human being in general
but he’s in a relationship with a human being which complicates things in the long run
and like
…
it’s pretty depressing stuff that he won’T get into right now because that’ll dampen his mood even more
anyways
the point is
he’s not human
he’s just a robot celebrating its.,. 2nd year of its creation
and he doesn’t want you guys saying ‘happy birthday you’re two years old!’ to him because that makes it sound like he’s a baby which he is definitely not
and he’ll admit
he’s being a little grumpy about the whole thing which isn’t fair to you because you did plan the entire day for him and he’s just shitting on your plan which is making him feel
not so great
yikes
maybe he was a little harsh on you
“you okay?” jungkook’s brows knit together in concern as you sit down next to him
“m’fine.” you murmur and quickly wipe away the tear that’s threatening to fall “yoongi’s just… being a yoongi.”
“he’s not going to… he’s not making anything with us?” jimin cuts in and glances over at yoongi over his shoulder
“nope.” you clear your throat “it’s okay! we’ll have fun without him. he’s just in a mood that’s all.”
there’s a bit of awkward tension in the group and you work quickly to dimINISH it
“so! what’s everyone making??”
“i’m making a mug!”
“i’m going to try to make a kettle”
“i’m making a gravy boat”
“we don’t even eat gravy”
“well..,.. we can use it for soy sauce or something idk”
“i think i’m going to make… a vase.” you dip your hands in the bucket of water sitting next to you before poking at your clay
yeah
you can probably make a vase
it shouldn’t be too hard of a task
“you’re copying me!”
“how am i copying you??”
“i make a mug and suddenly you’re making a mug??”
“wha- there’s only sO many things i can mAKE”
“i can list a hundred other things you can make that’s noT A mug”
“what is your pROBLEM”
“you know what i’m going to make a plate”
“well in that case i’ll make a plate TOO”
jungkook and jimin continue to bicker in the background and jimin gaSPs when jungkook slaps his arm and gets some clay on his new sweater
“you little puNK-“
your brows furrow in frustration as you step down on the pedal gently and your lopsided piece of clay starts spinning slowly
you place your hands around it and feel the clay beginning to take shape around your fingers
you’re just so
you’re mAD OkaY
you’ll admit it
you are mAD
you put so much effort into planning this for yoongi and he doesn’t even give it a chance????? he just rejects it immEdiATELY with no remorse and that is a pretty sucky feeling
he didn’t even explain himself he was just like i don’t like pottery and you should just let me buY a ‘’’’’’professionally-made’’’’’’’’ vase
you’ll show him
you’ll make a GREAT vase and you’ll rub it in his face whenever the opportunity arises
in the midst of your internal rage you don’t realize you’re pressing down on the pedal harder and your chunk of clay starts spinning wiLDLy
“y/n…”
like serIOUSLY he couldn’t even say a simple hey thanks for planning this for me but i’m really not into pottery!!!!!! and you would’ve been okay with that
“uh, y/n-“
oOH you should’ve given him a piece of your mind instead of backing off and reSpEctiNg tHe BirtHdAy bOy’s wiShes
you’ll take his wishes and shOVE IT UP HIS-
“y/N-“ namjoon shoves your foot off the pedal before your clay can ziP off your spinner and whack someone in the face “what is the matter with you???
“nothing, i’m just- don’t worry about it… your, uh… your bowl looks nice so far”
“i’m making a cup” namjoon frowns and looks down at his blob
“yoongi’s just being a dick, you know??” you blurt out and everyone glances over at yoongi who is still playing games on his phone and who stILL looks bored out of his mind
if he wasn’t so stubborn and just came over to make a plate or something hE WOULDN’T BE SO BORED BUT OBVIOUSLY HE DOESN’T WANT TO BECAUSE-
namjoon shoves your foot off the pedal again and scowls at you
“look. if he doesn’t wanna celebrate his birthday, he doesn’t wanna celebrate his birthday. what can you do, you know? don’t force him to do something if you know he’s not going to enjoy it. and yeah i agree with you!! he’s being a littLe bit of an asshole but-“
“yeah, yeah. i know. i’ll let it slide.” you mutter and squeeze the clay through your fingers
“okay, good. you can get mad at him tomorrow. now, i’m going to go and paint a pre-made cup because obviously the cup i made doesn’t even look like a cup.” you give him a sheepish smile and watch as he disappears to the painting station where most of the other boys are
actually all of the boys are there because they’ve already put their creations in the drying station and have moved on to paint some pre-made ceramics
it’s just you
alone
making this stupid vase that doesn’t even look like a vase
you spend the next ten minutes trying to mould the blob of clay into a vase but it seems like eveRYthing is against you today because it kind of looks like a dildo but like a really reALLy sad dildo that’s frowning at you
“whatcha doin” you hear jungkook behind you but you don’t turn around because that’S how focused you are
“making a vase - or tryIng to make a vase.” you mutter
you’re faintly aware of the sound of a stool screeching behind you and suddenly-
jungkook wraps his arms around you and hooks his chin up on your shoulder
you jump in surprise and turn your head and your cheeks flush immediately
“what are you up to?” you laugh lightly and reach down to grip at his forearm to try and wiggle him off
“petty revenge, that’s what i’m up to. play along.” jungkook shrugs innocently as he nudges your foot aside and steps down on the pedal
“petty- what’s that supposed to mean?” you dot a bit of clay onto jungkook’s nose and he wrinkles it
“i think you know what i mean. and it’s already working.” jungkook murmurs lowly before his eyes flicker over to the front
both of you glance over at yoongi and you’re surprised to see him glaring riGht back at you because
uh
UM
well thAT DOesn’t look like how pottery is made at all
yoongi feels his cheeks flare up immediately
he raises a brow and jungkook waves enthusiastically at the bot
yoongi continues glaring
jungkook maintains his smile and explains himself through gritted teeth “yoongi obviously is being an ungrateful ass android, so we’re going to see if triggering a particular emotion will make him get off his ass and come over. i’m all for being the bigger person and letting it slide, like namjoon-hyung told you to do - but i’m also all about being as peTTy as possible.”
he slides his hands down your forearms before his hands are rested atop of yours
and he steps down on the pedal gently
now
y/n like teN months ago would’ve been freaking out because wOW it’s junGKOOK and he has his arms wrapped around me and oh mY god he smells so good
but y/n now?
y/n now is freaking out because woW this is totally working yoongi looks so angry and it feels so good to have this power coursing through my veins >:-)
now
you’ll admit
this is petty
like a little tOO petty for you
you’d never think about doing something as extreme as this but you know what
it feels nice 2 be held when you’re feeling kinda gloomy
and jungkook has nice arms
but so does yoongi
and honestly
you find yourself imagining it’s yoongi’s arm wrapped around you as he continues helping you shape the vase
yoongi is
livid
absolutely
positively
l i v i d
first of all
how dare you
HOW dare you
how dare you let jungkook hold you like that right in front OF HIS EYES
and second of all
he is going to kill jungkook
the second namjoon finaLLy caves in and gives yoongi laser eyes
yoongi’s going to FRY jungkook to a crisp
he knows what you’re doing
he’s aware of how upset and angry you are right now
and he wasn’t going to say anything because he hates conflict and he hates fighting with you
but now
now he has to say something
maybe he’ll say something later
he’ll let you have your moment and then he’ll-
jungkook nudges his nose into your cheek affectionately and yoongi swears he feels a screw pop loose inside of him
that’s noT ALLOWED
IT’S NOT ALL O WE D
“Move, you brat.” yoongi is next to you guys in less than a second and jungkook looks up at him with his big round eyes
you, on the other hand, you’re pretending like yoongi isn’t even there
“hyung! i was just helping y/n make-“
“Move, or I’ll make you.” yoongi hisses and jungkook immediately raises his hands in defence before getting up off the stool
yoongi gives him a little shove and jungkook scowls
he’s about to shove back but he knows yoongi could probably crush his bones just by blowing on him
yoongi takes jungkook’s seat behind you
a beat of silence goes by
ok
he didn’t think this through
he doesn’t know how to approach this situation
is he allowed to touch you
on a scale from 1-10 how angry are you with him (it’s a 12 and he’s well aware of that)
you freeze when yoongi slinks his arms around your waist and props his chin up on your shoulder
“I’m sorry, jagi.” yoongi mutters and you immediately relax
you’re so soft for him it’s crazy
you took it too far so you should probably apologise for that
“it’s okay” you murmur and keep your eyes on your spinning vase “i’m sorry i-“
“No, don’t say anything. It’s not okay. I shouldn’t… I was rude earlier and it wasn’t right. You didn’t deserve to be treated like that. I just… I’m not going to get into everything right now but I just feel like this whole… birthday thing reminds me that I’m not actually a human being, you know?”
oh
aw
:-(
if you’d had known you wouldn’t have done anything in the first place
you’re about to speak up but yoongi continues talking and you feel him shift behind you and wrap his arms tighter around you
“It reminds me that I-I won’t be able to grow old with you and we won’t be able to have children and- that sucks because I…” he nuzzles his face into your neck and furrows his brows “I don’t wanna think about that.”
and then you feel it
your shoulder is
wet
“yoongi…” you turn your head and your lips part in surprise when you realise yoongi’s crying into your shoulder
oh my god
yoongi’s never
cried before
“oh my god, yoongi,” you breathe out and twist around so that you can wrap him up in a hug immediately
it’s kind of an awkward position but your comfort is the lasT thing on your mind
“And now I’m leaking fluids which proves that today must be cursed.” yoongi grumbles and wipes at his face frustratedly “There’s dust in my eye, probably.”
you’ve never been good at comforting people so you’re not sure what the best thing to say here is because like
there is an inkling of truth behind everything he’s said
unfortunately
“don’t think about today like we’re celebrating another year that’s gone by with you being a robot. think about today like we’re celebrating another year of… us! of you waking me up every morning by ripPing off my blanket and attaCking me with kisses. of you noT allowing me to eat an XL pizza in one sitting.” yoongi scoffs and wipes away another tear
“Is there a point to all of this?”
“another year of… you loving me and me loving you even more.” you lean back against yoongi and plant a small kiss on his cheek “i love you.”
“I know.”
“we don’t have to celebrate your birthday next year if you don’t want to-“
“No, no. I want to. I want to celebrate my birthday… with you. Thank you for planning all of this for me. I really appreciate it.”
he looks down at the vase on the spinner “…But please let me fix this vase because there’s no way I’m proudly displaying this lopsided mug in our apartment.”
“god,,.., looK at them” namjoon gags dramatically before turning back to continue painting his (nicer) cup
“i’d gladly let them have sex in the back if it means he’ll be less grumpy.” hoseok snorts and continues to paint a little daisy on his plate “why’d you make him so grumpy in the first place??”
“i didn’t!!!!! he kinda just came out like that!!”
if you guys were in a cartoon there would be a plethora of pink and red cartoon hearts floating around you and yoongi
obviously yoongi took over with the vase-making responsibilities because he’s a perfectionist
you were going to make a mug or something next to him but yoongi insisted this was the beSt way for him to focus
which is interesting because this technique seems very distracting
you’re perched on yoongi’s lap facing him
“are we getting flowers for the vase?” your arms are wrapped loosely around his neck
yoongi leans forward and gives your nose a kiss
“Obviously. Red roses, preferably.”
“it took me like an hour just to form the shape of a plate and it’s taking yoongi like three seconds to make a perfectly round vase.” jimin pouts and looks at his sorta-flat-sorta-not plate
yoongi’s not even looKIng at the vase it’s like his hands have minds of their own and they’RE shaping the vase pERFECTLy
like he.,., he’s definitely making out with u a little but his hands are still!!! workING away!!!!!
“that doesn’t seem like a very effEctive way to make a vase, you freaks!” taehyung whines and yoongi flips him off quickly “wha- don’t flip me off! i can cut your generous eight-inches down to a puny-“
“nO PENIS TALK” namjoon smacks the younger boy
“are you sure this isn’t distracting?” you twist your body to take a glance at the vase “because i feel like-“
“Nope, I’m good.” yoongi reaches up and pinches your chin in between his thumb and his pointer finger so he can twist your head back so that you’re facing him
you whine and swipe at the wet clay on your chin “you got it all over me!!”
yoongi grins and leans in to give u another kiss
he’d be happy to celebrate his birthday evEryday if it means you perched up on his lap showering him with kisses
also
there’s a handprint on your ass now thanks to him
help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)
this is kinda off topic in regards to the android!yoongi drabble plot rn but how does yoongi react when y/n feels insecure? like he always seems to be criticizing her eating habits i know for sure that i would start to see myself differently in the mirror... {{if you don't want to write this its okay i really dont wanna pressure you into something you dont wanna write}}
yoongi was not good at empathizing with her at the very beginning because ?? he’s an android and having emotions wasn’t the first thing on namjoon’s list of things to add when he built him
he is literally programmed to ensure that her health is always at its highest quality so when he sees her shoving pizza down her throat like she’s going to die tomorrow he’s obviously going to step in and be like “Why do you like eating garbage? Do you not know how bad this is for you? Do you realize how much sodium is in this? And you are washing it down with a large soda? And you’re having a slice of chocolate cake? Are you crazy? I am throwing this out immediately.”
he doesn’t mean to hurt her but he’s just worried that all this bad food is going to shorten her life span and he’ll never admit it to her but he does like her a lot and he wants to spend as much time with her as possible so if it means being a little strict with her food he’ll do whatever it takes!! but that night when he passed by her room he saw her pinching at the flab under arms and around her tummy and he couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit bad for what he said to her earlier
yoongi’s a lot better now!! he’s more gentle aNd he allows her to have her cheat days so that way it’s fair and they’re both happy :-)) and y/n knows that he’s just lookin out for her and she admits that eating a family sized portion of spaghetti and meatballs in one sitting probably isn’t going to help her in the long run
