Right, now that the neighbours fucking tree is finally gone and the far end of the house is reasonably dry, I have to do yet another external treatment for mold because it never let the house dry out
Here's hoping this time (and also once the council finally fix the pipes and I get a decent cover on the manhole on my property) it works better
I've already had to deal with the fucking ant nest, again, oddly enough thanks to a remedy of my great grandmothers and not the poison bait traps I've been putting out for them, its finally made a difference
I just need someone to take those fucking trees out so I can replant the front garden
You know, its really nice to not have to put up with the constant amount of american pick me drama bullshit on social media
I don't actually follow anyone here on Tumblr anymore either, not out of disinterest or dislike, I just don't want to hear about the world anymore, even inadvertently through a reblog
I now scroll Pinterest looking for something interesting to do, and go do that
The amount of effort I have put into telling people things that they just can't or won't comprehend, I am just fucking done with even trying, it's not worth wasting my time and effort, and it's simply too frustrating to deal with, and it's not like I got much out of it very often either
The constant one way street deal that I often get treated with is no longer available. I have done things for other people just out of human interest during my life in trying to be a good person only to constantly have my good nature taken advantage of, and I simply won't do it anymore
These last couple of years are probably the only time in my life I've ever been angry enough after being mistreated and bullied to actually fight back, that's a lifetime of rage finally being released at people who pushed me too far, and deserved it
I'm sitting here 'blogging', I'm writing a diary really
I don't really care if it's interesting to you or not, for your opinion to matter to me you'd have to be the type of person in my life I would call to help me do something, and that list is very short
If you are reading my blog hoping I'll go back to doing the predictive thing, that's also over. I'm tired of how those fucking algorithms interact with my brain, and it's not like people believed me anyway, even when things I said would happen actually eventuated, so why bother?
It's not exactly an enjoyable experience having my brain hijacked by some fucking media company because some asshole decided to install some fucking adversarial weapon because of some psychotic bitch on a forum who claims I hacked her and "normies" can't comprehend my level of pattern recognition so of course it's mysterious and only explanable by being a hacker instead of possessing a sense of advanced logical deduction
"OMG, how did she guess the storyline of the movie while it was being filmed that we had the mods delete from the thread, she must be a hacker?" It's called a really good guess based on algorithmic narrative cues and bad fucking recycled writing, dumbass
If you're going to build narrative media patterns designed to get the attention of peoples ability to follow storylines, don't be surprised when you finally come across people that can solve it better than it can be hidden and the audience whose brains tou have been training to react to these patterns finally catch onto the pattern themselves when pointed out to them, congrats, your entire algorithm design is now worthless and doesn't work anymore, have you tried not commiting war crimes instead?
I'm colour coding my posts for each change of subject in the same order as my pinned post mostly because I'm too lazy to add dividers, and also most of this ends up being stream of consciousness anyway, so each thing isn't necessarily connected and this isnt an essay that's getting marked and counts towards nothing in life
It's just yet another meaningless scream into the void to try and to self validate the reason for existence much like every other post on social media is
There's a bunch of those chores I can't do just yet because I have to get things for them to be able to do them, but with all of this meal prep I'm running out of space in my freezer
I am happy to report progress on the Echinacae seedlings, at least one of them has sprouted, I also finally pulled out the old swan plants but I still need to go back through that garden and weed it properly
When I first planted it I just sprinkled the seedling mix through it to see if anything would grow, now I'm thinking of being more selective to perennials because the entire idea was less overall maintenance.
I don't mind regrowing and replanting the swan plants because the entire idea is to give the monarch butterflies a place to stay for a while. I got at least 50 caterpillars this year, had to rescue quite a few of them from wandering out of the garden, and found chrysalis in some odd places.
And now I'm almost tired enough to go to sleep
I still think about Joshua, which can be very bittersweet at times
