ARGH FLUTIE SMASH FLUTIE CRASH
Tonight I'm having dinner at my aunt's place, with some other family. My 19 year old cousin comes in, fresh from her second day of class (she's taking summer courses at a nearby community college for her RN).
She claps her hands, obviously delighted. "Good news, Mom! I had a chem test today. 97%!"
"Wow!" replies my aunt, without turning around. "I knew you were switched at birth."
I side-eye my aunt's turned back. "Congrats, kid. That's pretty great. Was it hard?"
"Not really. It was all just density problems and stuff, though I tripped up a little on significant figures--"
Then my aunt interrupts what is obviously a painfully boring discussion with, "So -- how'd you do today?"
I don't get it, but whatever it is makes my cousin beam.
"Awesome!" she says with a smile. She gets up and starts walking into the kitchen with her mother. "I ate only some salad and some apples."
Aunt stops and frowns. "How many apples?"
Cousin's face falls. "Two? Three?"
As they continue into the kitchen and out of earshot, the last thing I hear is: "Well. Which was it, two or three? That seems like an important detail."