The first thing I feel is the heat of rage boil in the pit of my gut, willing me to sit and keep my mouth shut. Then it's the cascade of my disdain, digging a hellish rut, picking through memories for a highlighted final cut. A reel which plays on repeat in my head, surging the converging of violent instincts that want to be fed. I hear the beast inside me, saying what can't be said. I see it turn my grievance into the definition of dead.
I refuse to act on such thoughts, regardless of who it is taking shots. I just keep eating the emotion until it rots, ignoring the feeling of it rebel up my throat in knots. I'm no longer ashamed to show my tears, though I have been for many years. I was controlled by the weight of my fears, impaired and despaired because I was incapable of switching gears.
A reaction provoked by both truth and lies, where I decide what expression will rise. You may not know-- you may not realize, what it is you're seeing, as saline sorrow swells in my eyes. It's an overflow concealing the internal angry cries, caged by restraints of indescribable metaphysical size, just a breath from cutting all ties.