I never imagined I’d get this many, School is consuming me whole but it’s almost over. I’ve been working with another AU and it was supposed to be posted once a week but I got stuck and watched the Hamilton Animatics(finally). I’m slowly accepting that I will be dragged back to the musical hell I escaped back in high school.
Anyway, this is loosely based on It’s Quiet Uptown from Hamilton. Very AU!
- Not many people the relationship of the most hated professor of Hogwarts, to the most beloved Headmaster, and the respected deputy.
- Severus unwittingly burrowed his way into the hearts of the two gryffindors.
- It started with suspicion. Albus would be a fool to trust a Death Eater no matter how repentant they seem to be. But the boy was sincere, there were instances in their secret meetings where he would notice the tremors but Severus was quick to avoid any unnecessary contact. Albus put his foot down once and dragged the boy to a secluded place where he was healed.
- He kept him closer ever since.
- Minerva didn’t trust Severus at first, fully suspecting that he was a Death Eater who hood-winked Albus Dumbledore and infiltrated Hogwarts. She didn’t exactly approve of his position as youngest Head of House.
- What started as baiting him with house rivalry turned to real rivalry and good-natured banters. And soon enough she believed in Albus’ judgement.
- She and Albus made a point of inviting him for tea at least once a week.
- She and Severus often judged the latest DADA professor quietly but harshly.
- Severus started a betting pool on how long the defense professors would last. The staff weren’t exactly on board but there were always names listed in Severus’ notebook.
- But then Voldemort returned. And the Order was back.
- She was aware of his status as a spy but when he arrived at Hogwarts, shaking and bruised, it all seemed too real.
- Albus felt guilty, of course he did. but he needed a spy. He needed Severus in Voldemort’s camp. Any and all information is an advantage Albus could not lose.
- Minerva screamed at him the night Severus returned from being two hours late from his other master’s resurrection.
- Severus was back on his feet the next day, pretending like nothing was wrong. As he sat down for their weekly tea, he noted the odd coldness between McGonagall and Dumbledore. He rolled his eyes at them and made a nuisance of himself as he disparaged the gryffindor house until the two had to band together and defend their house.
- He got thinner as the months passed and Minerva often snuck a biscuit or two on his plate when they had tea. Albus wasn’t too subtle. The old man made a show of trying to make Severus try new foods in the Great Hall. Albus stacked his plate too high one time when Severus was feeling particularly angry and nearly threw it in Albus’ face.
- But he saw the real concern in the Headmaster’s eyes and tried his best to eat as much as he can.
- During the nights he returnes from a meeting, he would sometimes get a few hours of rest in the Headmaster's office. Minerva's soft lullaby would push him over the edge and he'd be asleep before she finished.
- The marauders were rarely discussed between the three of them. Severus could barely describe what he feels whenever Albus and Minerva would talk to Lupin and Black in Order meetings. All smiling and filled with such happy memories. Very unlike the sometimes quiet moments they share in the Headmaster’s office when they have tea.
- The year with Lupin as the defence professor was also very difficult.
-They learned to cope. With Voldemort recruiting, Severus being called more frequently, raids that cannot be stopped, and students not quite sure where they’ go once outside the protection of Hogwarts. They had to cope.
- And then Severus’ cover is blown. He didn’t reach the emergency portkey he keeps in his pocket in time. Curses hit him and the charm fell from his pocket as he fell. His hand grasped the portkey and he found himself just outside the headmaster's office.
- Minerva had been unable to sleep hours prior and came to once again tried to have Severus pulled from his spying. Albus had been his normal self, explaining how important Severus' role was for the cause. For the greater good.
- As the door opened, Minerva wished she fought harder. And Albus sevretly wished he'd done as she asked.
- Severus collapsed, shaking and bleeding. There was something wrong, terribly wrong. The unimaginable has happened.
- Albus moved faster than he ever did, he sent a patronus to Poppy and was quickly by Snape's side. Holding him as the boy whimpered in pain. Minerva was quick to follow, grasping the bloodied hand.
- Severus was asking for a flask, anything, to hold the memories he needs to give Albus. A final report. Minerva shook her head, trying to make him save his strength. Albus looking grim and reluctant. But he gave in. And Minerva angrily watched Severus try to explain that it was for the best, for the greater good.
- Fawkes always did like Severus. He swooped down and sang as his tears closed the wounds on Severus's body. But it wasn't the wounds that was causing this.
- It's a curse, Severus explained. He feels his strength leaving him. Dumbledore was extracting every information Severus was giving and the almost ethereal blue light distracted him. His gaze turned to Minerva when he heard her humming an old scottish lullaby. Albus stopped gathering the memories and took Severus' other hand.
- He should feel cold. On the hard floor, a curse slowly eating at his life, and barely enough blood to remain conscious. But he's warm. In Dumbledore's arms, Fawkes thrilling softly on his chest, and Minerva grasping his hand, continuing to hum the lullaby she always did.
- He smiled at them. He closed his eyes just before she finished.
- Everyone was made aware of his status as a spy and as they held his funeral, they all noticed how the typically close Headmaster and deputy stood with two feet away from each other.
- Dumbledore watched the memories related to the Death Eaters. He took note of evwrything Severus had given and made plans. The others--those were memories reserved for another time. When it would hurt less.
- Dumbledore walked the length of the castle everynight. He often noted how quiet the dungeon was. It was never that quiet before. Not when a potions master was always brewing something.
- Minerva doesn't talk to him unless for Hogwarts business. She still blames him.
- She walks at the grounds each night. Her gaze often wandering just beyond the wards. Hoping to see Severus returning to the castle.
- Albus joined her a few times, following her a few feet away. As the days go on, he followed her closer and closer. And he began to talk. Babbling as she ignored him.
- They walked side by side every night since then.
- They were standing outside, just where Severus would usually appear when he returned, when he felt her grasping his hand.
- They watched the other memories Severus gave. Seeing everything in his eyes, feeling what he felt.
- Tears were shed once more but they were together now. They stood a foot apart, as if there was a missing piece between them. A soft breeze whispered between them and Albus took her hand.
- It was enough.
I suggest you listen to it's quiet uptown after this. It really is quite heartbreaking(I cried a bit watching the animatics)
“This is your dream, Hitoshi-kun,” there was a smile, small and dim, but it was a smile. “Being a hero is everyone’s dream, is it not?” Hitoshi could hear the strain behind that statement, as if Izuku was fighting against himself. He furrowed his brows for a split second, but Hitoshi caught it just fine, and it made him… sad.
Izuku was on the bed, his face pale and gaunt. During the course of one and a half year Hitoshi came to know him, this occurrence will happen at least twice a month. Izuku didn’t live a healthy life; there are many times he just didn’t remember (or bother) to eat. There were days he only subsisted on coffee or some random snacks he found and fancied. And it was always during these times and Kurogiri-san would come for him.
(Because Sensei had punished Izuku every time he fainted because of this particular matter. Hitoshi assumed that he punished Izuku verbally, because it was always a hysterical breakdown Hitoshi had to pull him out from. He still remembered the last time it happened, when Izuku cried and tried to claw himself for two days straight and draining his already-compromised body fluids because Sensei had told him that he was disappointed that Izuku cannot take care of himself.)
Usually, Hitoshi would sit on the bed, running his fingers along Izuku’s face because the other always found comfort in such little touch. But this time, he was standing on the edge of Izuku’s bed, wavering between wanting to cry and unspeakable pity.
Just like their first meeting just a few months before.
Shinsou Hitoshi liked to wander around his neighborhood.
It may come as a surprise, since people knew him as a bit of an antisocial person, but Hitoshi enjoyed the feeling of being surrounded by people he didn’t know. He enjoyed the feeling of fading into the background, a cup of hot chocolate in hand as he watch people pass him by. He enjoyed reading the news, fantasizing about being a hero every time passing news about one came to his ears.
But, Hitoshi chimed to himself, who can I save with this ability?
Maybe he could become the type of hero who didn’t save people directly; they defeat villains to save everyone. But… would that be a true hero? Both All Might and Eraserhead will always be able to save people before they defeat the villains, because after all rescuing someone is a vital part of being a hero. But for him… who could he save?
“The answer to that question… would you like me to give it to you?”
He was already there before Hitoshi even realized it. It was a man, probably in his early thirties, wearing a set of clothes that reminded Hitoshi of a bartender. He looked… familiar, kind of the face he would pass by in a street. His eyes were glittering green, his face adorned with freckles, he looked… handsome. “Why thank you, Hitoshi-kun. I’ll be sure to convey your praise to the owner of this body.”
“Eh…?”
Glittering green looked towards him with a look of piqued interest laced with amusement. As if Hitoshi had amused him just by sitting there. The man then stretched his fingers towards his chin, lightly tilting it upwards, before humming to himself. “Oh, you are very pretty. My dear Izuku would be so pleased with you…” Hitoshi’s heart rammed against his chest, not because the man had called him pretty (which was a pretty odd thing to call a teenage boy with), but because of the way he looked at him. Like he was some sort of… specimen.
“Kurogiri had really outdone himself this time,” the man mused as he ran a finger on Hitoshi’s cheekbone. “A pretty paradox, the same age as darling Izuku, too! We don’t often run to someone like this. If only we could find somebody like you in Tomura’s years too…” There was a smile, a regretful one, but… it didn’t reach his eyes. It was like everything was a source of amusement for this person, and Hitoshi’s entire body was flaring at him, urging him to run.
But he can’t run. This man had his eyes on his entire being. One wrong move from Hitoshi and—
“Shinsou Hitoshi-kun,” the man called, snapping Hitoshi out of his reverie with a single call of his name. “Would you like to save someone? Usually I would do it myself—take your quirk and be done with it—but… I sure think that it’s time for my Izuku to have another person in his life.”
Hitoshi wasn’t sure on how to process all of this. On one side, he felt his guts screaming at him not to trust this person, but on the other hand, he was curious about this person that he out of all people can save…
“I… I would like save this person.” was his answer to the man, no conflicts over the two choices presented at him. Being a hero, rescuing people and defeating bad guys has been and will always be Hitoshi’s dream. If this man said that there is someone he could save, then what reason did he have to refuse?
The man smirked as he let go of Hitoshi’s chin, eyes gleaming with glee as he stood up and offered him a head. “Shall we go then?” Hitoshi took his hand and they walked away and away and away from the crowd.
When they reached a certain bunker hidden between trees and mountains, the strange man looked at him and asked once more:
“Your dream is to be a hero, right Hitoshi-kun?”
“Yeah…”
A smirk, a gleeful smirk.
“Good. You’ll be a lesson.”
Back then, Hitoshi didn’t understand what he had meant.
“How is Izuku, Naomi-san…?”
“He will be fine, Shinsou-kun. As he usually do after the doctors have worked their magic on him.”
The look on Naomi-san’s face was a calming one, but Hitoshi couldn’t help himself. Izuku had fallen asleep on the bed he had previously slept on only hours before, accompanied only by the sound of IV dripping down. Hitoshi really hated seeing Izuku unconscious for myriads of reasons; but the main was because it reminded him of the many times he had to stand on the side as Kurogiri or Sensei examined Izuku’s limp body.
Hitoshi took a deep breath as he sat himself on the armchair just next to Izuku’s bed, eyes wandering over the form of his sleeping friend. He really couldn’t imagine life without Izuku around, sporadically coming into his life with a tired yet beautiful smile. And yet… and yet….
We think we may have found a way for your quirk to be a hero material, Shinsou-kun. We really need new heroes right now to regenerate the ones we have lost, so what do you think? Do you still want to be a hero?
“Of course I do…” Hitoshi sighed, burrowing his face on his hand as he curled into himself.
Even after being in touch with people like Izuku, Sensei, Kurogiri, and even Shigaraki, Hitoshi still retained his childhood dream of becoming a hero. He understood that the hero system wasn’t perfect, same as any other system created by mankind, and he saw how people like Shigaraki and Izuku existed precisely because the hero system was not good enough. But all of those things didn’t make turn away from the heroics, if anything, it even pushed him even further to create a much-needed change for the current society.
Hitoshi would make it so people like Izuku and Shigaraki would never have to exist. He won’t wait until somebody else did it, he will be the one to do so.
Because he could still remember the thrill, pride, and happiness he felt when he first saved Izuku from whatever it was that plagued him. Even when Hitoshi wasn’t exactly sure if he had done anything worthy for Izuku to hold him closely in heart, Izuku reassured him that Hitoshi was probably the hero that the world needed….
The room was cramped and dark, filled with boxes that smelled of metallic tin can. There wasn’t any light sans the one coming from the hallways. Hitoshi stood next to a man (mist) who introduced himself as Kurogiri.
“The Master told me to tell you that he would want you to use your quirk to snap Izuku-san out of his episode.” His tone was neutral, as if this ‘Izuku’ always had an episode and he always needed someone to snap him out of it. The more Hitoshi think about it, the more curious he became. Just... who is this Izuku? Why do these people seemed to care about him and yet at the same time not? And... how could Hitoshi save him?
“After you, Shinsou Hitoshi,” Kurogiri held the door open for him and he stepped into the darkness with wavering steps. Everything seemed to echo in a place that should be too narrow for echoes to sound, or Hitoshi could be imagining things since his heart was beating really fast. I shouldn’t be here... I should have never come here... His gut was screaming at him, but Hitoshi braved himself to venture deeper into the dark room.
There were metals, many of them, and Hitoshi felt like he was standing in the middle of a room full of trash cans. But he silently made his way to the left corner of the room as the strange green-eyed man had instructed him on their way before they met Kurogiri.
You won’t miss him; frail little thing he is. If you’re a hero, you will never be able to miss him.
And the man was right.
There was a boy there, his face buried on his knees as he clutched the sides of his head with his gloved hands. He was shivering and murmuring things under his breath, the perfect picture of a person who is in dire need of a hero.
Hitoshi’s heart went out for the boy, pitying and wanting to rescue him at the same time. He instinctively went forward and kneeled in front of him, trying to establish eye contact.
“Hello...? Are you alright?”
The boy curled deeper into himself, flinching as he heard Hitoshi’s voice. But he didn’t answer him, so Hitoshi’s quirk hasn’t taken effect. The boy was still murmuring and Hitoshi strained his ears to hear snippets of his words.
“Can’t... shouldn’t... wouldn’t... sleep. Shouldn’t... pass out... I’m not good enough. I’m sorry Sensei... I’m really really really sorry....”
There was a sound of scratching that Hitoshi only noticed now that he was really near, and he realized that the boy was clawing on his own throat. His eyes tripled its previous size as he abruptly tried to pull the boy’s hands away from his own neck. “Hey! Stop! What are you doing?!”
The boy stopped.
He looked up from his knees, beautiful green eyes meeting Hitoshi’s own red in a pure silence. Hitoshi had his hands firmly on the boy’s wrists, desperate to not let him claw his already-bleeding neck. “Please...” Hitoshi breathed out silently. “Stop...” There was another second shared between the two and the boy finally answered to him.
“You... are very pretty...” And he was gone.
Hitoshi aligned his gaze with the blank eyes he was familiar with. The boy looked so tired, so drained, so so... injured. He really couldn’t take it.
“Please, go to sleep.”
And that must have been what his body really wanted; because he fell to Hitoshi’s arms almost immediately after. He didn’t need to think because that’s what he really needed anyways, but judging from his murmurs earlier, he had been holding out without sleep solely out of his own will.
“Oh, he finally fell asleep? Your quirk really is amazing, Shinsou Hitoshi.” Kurogiri said as he clapped his hands slowly. “Now I know the perfect remedy to get every time Izuku-san had an episode!” He sounded excited, and as Hitoshi tightened his grip around the boy currently sleeping in his arms, he couldn’t help but feel like he had gone into a place he shouldn’t ever know.
They meet again time and time after, but Hitoshi never really stayed until Izuku wakes.
Until the one time he did and he decided that he would never ever leave this person, because it was the first time Hitoshi felt like he had someone who made him feel like a hero.
(And Izuku got better. He still needed to be pulled out of his episodes once in a while, but he was mostly better)
“Bakugou Katsuki?”
“Yes, Kacchan!”
Izuku was in his cheery mode and Hitoshi couldn’t help but smile at his friend’s antics. Izuku always said that he dressed in a bartender suit because it was a formal look good enough for Sensei, but Hitoshi knew that Izuku chose the bartender outfit because he had always been fascinated with the barista he met while getting his favorite coffees.
Hitoshi knew that Izuku woke up approximately six months ago in this place without any memories. How he clung to Sensei (Hitoshi never really caught his name and they never really met after their first meeting) almost maniacally because he thought he didn’t have any other reason to exist other than to please him, Hitoshi also knew of Izuku’s fascination to his former life—one he would refer as Deku. And recently, he had gotten to remember more and more things about his childhood friend of the time, named Bakugou Katsuki.
Listening to Izuku recalling about his past made Hitoshi skeptical of this Bakugou character. Izuku spoke of him fondly, with laughter in his voice and nostalgia in his face, but his words...
“Then he pushed me down the bridge until I fell into the river! Thank heavens I only hit my head with a small rock!”
...it sounded like this Bakugou was bullying him.
But Hitoshi kept his silence and lowered his head. He had seen the claw marks around Izuku’s neck, the gunshot wounds on his shoulder and torso, the deep cut on his arms and legs, and even the scar on his head. Hitoshi looked up when Izuku stared at him, smiling his best smile. “Yeah, thank heavens it wasn’t anything worse.”
Because... he was really thankful.
When Hitoshi failed the hero course entrance exam to Yuuei, he went to the penthouse.
Naomi-san greeted him as usual, with a smile and a cup of Darjeeling tea steaming on the table. Izuku came a few minutes later, drenched to the bone as he threw himself on Hitoshi’s chest.
“I heard! I’ve always been a fan of Yuuei, but I think they’re being stupid for not accepting you!”
Hitoshi noticed the bloodstains on his clothes first and the absence of his gloves after. Izuku rambled on and on, cursing Yuuei for not accepting him and how he should apply to the general course. Hitoshi indulged him, feeling thankful that someone is being angry in his behalf, and yet he felt really unsettled when Izuku smiled and asked to borrow his quirk.
“What... are you going to do with it?”
“An errand. It won’t be long.”
The very next day, Hitoshi woke up on his favorite four poster bed in the penthouse with an invitation to study at the general course of Yuuei Academy.
Shinsou Hitoshi felt that sometimes, the time he spent away from Izuku was a blur.
Especially so in his school life.
So he always waited patiently for the days Izuku would appear out of the blue in the middle of his classroom and took him away to the penthouse, where they would spent time together until Hitoshi woke up with a smiling Izuku next to him, thanking him for borrowing his quirk.
(Hitoshi didn’t know and didn’t really want to know what Izuku did with his quirk. He was just grateful that Izuku was next to him, smiling and not clawing his neck out)
Sometimes, Shinsou Hitoshi had lapses in his memories, but he was fine with it.
He knew what happened during his lapses, anyway. In fact, he was grateful for it. Because the lapses in his memories meant that Izuku would be there, greeting him with a smile and a story to share. He was Izuku’s hero, he didn’t really care about everyone else.
Until... he cared.
Or to be precise, he realized that he cared still for his dreams of being a hero. Hitoshi stared at the cup of Darjeeling tea Naomi-san had prepared for him. Lost in thought. Izuku was really important to him, he was his best friend and had been his anchor during his most desperate times. He leaned on Izuku when Izuku leaned on him, just a pair of boys leaning on each other. Pretty normal, right? Hitoshi knew that many people shared the same relationship as he and Izuku. They were best friends, after all. There wasn’t anything wrong with their dynamics. No. Nothing at all.
This is your dream, right?
To rescue people and to defeat villains, being a hero is your dream, right?
He knew. In the back of his head, he knew. Izuku is a villain. But Izuku was his best friend, he didn’t need to capture his best friend, right? He could always turn a blind eye towards Izuku and Izuku alone. Because Izuku himself is a victim! Yeah! If only this world had better heroes, Izuku wouldn’t have had those scars around his neck...
And Hitoshi would be a hero to save him from all of that.
The rain outside was pouring hard and it snapped Hitoshi out of his internal struggle. He shook his head and decided to check on Izuku.
There was a gnawing feeling in Hitoshi’s heart as he walked over towards their favorite room in the penthouse. But he steeled himself as he walked, taking a deep breath and exhaling it before finding the room... empty.
The windows were opened and rain poured down to the expensive carpet, but Hitoshi ran.
“IZUKU!” He didn’t care that he was wet, he didn’t care that he was screaming on top of a balcony and nobody could hear him. Hitoshi ran towards the elevator, not caring that he was wet and immediately pushed the ground floor. Why? Where was Izuku? He was really sick, why did he leave, where had he gone? Why is he gone?
Hitoshi ran and ran and ran, around town, around the crossroads, desperate to find something—someone.
Hitoshi took a deep breath, trying to recall where his best friend might have gone. He retraced his steps as he let the rain poured over him. He was just... where?
Where had he been?
“The penthouse... where...?”
No. No. He knew. He remembered. He often shared a penthouse with Izuku, but... where was the penthouse...?
“No... no... no...”
Izuku had rejected him.
Hitoshi had known Naomi-san for over a year now, and he was well-acquainted with her quirk. Memory erasure, a quirk Izuku often borrowed whenever he got a much more dangerous reconnaissance mission. Naomi-san must have used her quirk on him, that’s why he couldn’t remember where to penthouse was anymore....
“This is your dream, Hitoshi-kun,” there was a smile, small and dim, but it was a smile. “Being a hero is everyone’s dream, is it not?”
Not like this.
Not like this!!!
“I... I...” suddenly, the thought of losing Izuku crept at him like some sort of insect. It crawled on his skin as it got harder and harder to breathe. He could register someone with striking blond hair trying to shake him out of his stupor, but he... he...
