#angstforcaplan

[lepetitmondedeju]

A Monster Like Me

Read the story here

[fan-maddson]

Piece By Broken Piece

Bucky Barnes x Female Reader  

A/N: The reader has been released from your duties as a H.Y.D.R.A. agent, the contract agreed upon by your father fulfilled. Now free, you have found yourself living at the Avengers Compound, piecing your life together with the help of Tony Stark and B.A.R.T. You knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but coming face to face with Bucky Barnes, the man who trained you, was a massive bump in the road to recovery. To your surprise, Bucky remembers you, the life you had together. And he is wracked with guilt, blaming himself.  

Кукла ​is Russian for Doll  

Mалый ​is Russian for Baby  

Word count: 1,363

Prompt: “I don’t blame you for anything.”

TW: Angst, torture mention

Also, huge thank you to @created-to-protect for reading this, and for being the inspiration behind it! 

It felt like an eternity since either one of you had said a word, the truth sitting between you like a sinking ship. Neither of you wanted to be the one to break the silence, to take the inevitable first step towards both your healing. Finally, he looked at you, tears in his eyes.  

“I…I don’t…” Bucky’s voice cracked, the tears rolling down his cheeks as his icy blue eyes locked on yours. “I can’t change what happened,” he managed to breath, his long, thick, yet nimble fingers combing his locks back.  

“I wish I could, you know that, ​Кукла​.” He wanted to hold you, like he had a thousand times before when you were upset, or scared. But this time it was his fault you were hurting.  

You had met him when you were only four, at your family home. He was a  

mountain of a man, yet everyone in the room somehow behaved as if he wasn’t even there. That is, until you left your father's side, walking straight to him. You were still in your tutu and ballet shoes, your hair pulled up in a chignon. Your small, delicate hand reached up, touching his vibranium hand.  

“See,” Your father boasted. “She is ready. Fearless, agile. She will make a fine addition to H.Y.D.R.A. Even ​Soldat​ could not deny this.” As your father and the other men continued their negotiations, Soldat stood still, the whirring of the mechanics in his arm the only sound he made as you continued to examine his metal hand. By the end of the night, your bags had been packed and you were on your way back to Russia, H.Y.D.R.A.s newest recruit.  

You had spent years under his watchful eye as he trained you to be an assassin. There were days when you hated him, when you wished he would drag the blade of his knife across your throat and end the torture he was putting you through, but he never did. You learned, got stronger, faster, more agile. Eventually, your training sessions began to feel different. He never said it, but when you passed your final test, he was proud. You saw it in his eyes.  

“You will need a codename,” he stated as you readied for your first mission with him. “Your father, he called you ​Mалый​, yes?” His eyes raked over your now​ 18-year-old frame. “I think ​Кукла​ suits you better.” That was the moment it all changed. No longer were you just another agent. You were his. He protected you at every turn, and you him. You were inseparable. It had been an unspoken truth between you two for years, but this was deeper. You had fallen in love with him, and he with you.  

The relationship, of course, was used to H.Y.D.R.A.s advantage. Their two best agents, side by side. No longer did they need to freeze Bucky between missions. He never left your side, not even when you were having your implants installed. It was no surprise when you became pregnant, another boon for the agency. A natural born super soldier, to be raised under H.Y.D.R.A. control. But the happiness was short lived.  

Soon your instincts to protect your child took over. Every time they came for your child, you fought. You fought to keep him safe. You fought to keep your family whole. And they fought back, using Bucky against you. After all, he was the one who trained you. He was your handler.  

“Y/N,” he whispered, cupping your face. “Let them take him. I promise, they won’t harm him. They need him, as much as they need us, okay?”  

“No,” you pleaded, pulling away, holding your child tightly to your body as the scientists entered, flanked by armed guards and Bucky’s handler. Bucky moved towards you, the pain evident in his eyes, pleading with you to cooperate. But you were firm, backing away as you heard them speak his trigger words.  

“Longing…” Bucky's eyes went wide, his pace slowing. You could see the fear in him.

“Rusted…” His left hand clenched, his eyes locked on yours. He saw the fear welling in you.

“Furnace…” The fear in you fought with the love you have for him, wanting to run, wanting to stay with him.

“Daybreak…” Your heart pounded in your chest as his expression goes blank, any trace of the man you loved gone.

“Seventeen…” A spark, a gleam in his eyes, one you’ve seen before. It’s not Bucky, but it’s not Soldat. Not yet.

“Benign…” He’s stopped, his body relaxed. Even if he  wanted to protect you and your son, he couldn’t.

“Nine…” You run to your room, locking the door behind you. You know it’s not going to stop him. At best it will give you another ten seconds, but ten seconds could save your child’s life.

“Homecoming…” You only barely here the word as you’re climbing into the vents above your quarters, baby crying, feeding off your fear. You don’t need to see your Bucky to know what’s happening. You’ve seen it before. Jaw set, body tense.  

“One…” You don’t hear it. Your crawling through the vents, the same way you did as a child when you were seeking him out to keep away the nightmares. Only now, he is the nightmare, and there’s no waking up.

“Freight car.” Bucky is gone. Only Soldat remained. His eyes are dark as his handler gives him his mission. Retrieve the child and it’s mother. Alive.  

You cringed as you heard the vents creak beneath his weight, your body a shield between him and your child. It didn’t take long for him to find you. For all the memory wipes H.Y.D.R.A had done, he remembered how you would use the ventilation system to get around security. Your heart raced as he came into view, his eyes dead.  

“Please,” you whimpered. “H-he's a baby…our baby.” Tears streamed down your cheeks as you kicked at him, hoping to make him see who you were. But it was no use. He dodged each kick, smirking when his flesh hand wrapped victoriously around an ankle, dragging you backwards as agents flanked from the other side, snatching your child. Your screams echoed through the vents. That is, until his metal hand wrapped around your neck, your world going dark. When you came to you were strapped in the Memory Suppressing Machine, surrounded.  

“Prep her. Wipe her. She can’t remember any of this.” You managed to catch a glimpse of Bucky’s limp body being carried out of the room before you felt a surge of pain, your screams silenced by H.Y.D.R.A. You came to hours later, in your bed, with Bucky and your son, both seemingly asleep. No memory of the previous events. Blissfully unaware of the horrors you had just endured, but a nagging feeling you were no longer safe. Not the way you had been.

"I tried to stop them," he choked out, searching your eyes. "Y/N, you know I would never...I loved you, Y/N, and our son. I still do. I don’t blame you if you hate me, though. The way you looked at me...I wish..."  

“Bucky,” you sighed, moving closer to him, kneeling before him as you took his hands in yours, tears rolling down your cheeks. “We can’t change what happened, okay? And…I don’t think I would want to. I love you, and…I don’t blame you for anything. That place…those people...” You pressed your lips to his, wiping his tears as they fell. "We're in this together, alright?"

[beefybuffybucky]

I Miss You.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader - Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Three little words have always held so much importance for you and Bucky, and in the end, you’ll miss him more than you could’ve ever imagined.

Prompt: “I miss you.”

Warnings: grab the tissues, y’all, it’s boutta get heavy - a n g s t - language - a little bit of blood mentioned - character death

Word Count: 1.2K

A/N: this is for the @caplansteverogers writing challenge and i just apologize in advance for the pain (“:

I miss you.

Those words meant far more than saying “I love you” for you and Bucky. The simple, three word-phrase encompassed the aching burn in your chest every time Bucky had to leave for a mission, every time you wouldn’t hear from him for days on end, and every time he would fall into one of his terrible, depressing trances that sent waves of hopelessness and worry rippling through your veins. Whenever either of you uses it, you both know how much you’re loved and wanted.

Everyone had left long ago, now just a collection of ghosts in his beaten mind - but you refused to leave him. Bucky’s mind has been scarred by endless years - eternities - of torture, manipulation, and corruption within his own soul, and you knew it wouldn’t be easy for either of you. But you’ve never minded the rough nights, the nightmares, and the dissociation spells. If anything, those times have brought you closer, and Bucky’s trust in you grew incredibly, as did your understanding.

Steve even told you one day, while Bucky was away on a solo mission, that you make Bucky feel more human.

And just like any other human, Bucky could die at any moment.

You just never knew that moment would be so soon.

A booming clap of thunder jolts you from your deep slumber, the vibrations of the deafening sound rattling through your bones. You instinctively fly up into a sitting position, clutching your thick, warm comforter to your chest, your breath coming in quick, shallow pants as the fog of sleep clears from your mind. As you settle back into a state of normalcy, you grab your phone off the nightstand, repositioning yourself to lay on your side, the pillow beneath your cheek cooling your warm skin.

“3:46?” You mumble sleepily. With a sigh, you click on your messages icon, and find Bucky’s name just below Nat’s on the screen.

His last text reads: Don’t worry, baby girl. I’ll be home early in the morning, so don’t try to stay up. You get cranky when you’re tired. I love you, and I miss you.

Through squinting, weary eyes, you type a quick message.

How’s the flight back? I know it’s still technically ‘early morning’, but I miss you, and I just want you home. I love you, James.

A yawn waves through your chest, and you set your phone back down and roll over to face Bucky’s side of the bed. His scent still lingers in the sheets, and it fills your senses, quickly calming you into another round of deep, peaceful sleep as the storm outside rages on.

The next time you wake up, sunlight streams through the windows - the storm had passed. You stretch-out your tired limbs, chasing out the heaviness of sleep.

Bucky’s spot is still empty.

With a huff, you flip over again and grab your phone just to find about a billion missed calls from Steve, Nat, and Tony.

A single missed call from Bucky.

You open his voicemail, and the world around you fades away as his strained, quiet voice crackles through the phone.

“Hey, darlin’.” You can tell he’s struggling to simply get the words passed his lips. “I’m sorry I can’t make it home.” Your pulse starts to ring in your ears, fear slowly creeping up your body. “I just…I tried my best to get back home to you.” You can hear the tears in his breaking voice. “I love you, Y/N.” Your breathing stops as you strain to hear his last words. “I’ll miss you.”

Terror immediately pulses through your veins, and you bolt out of the bed, sprinting down the hallway to the shared living room of the compound in only your underwear and one of Bucky’s old t-shirts.

“Steve?” You call out. No response. “Nat?” You slow as you take a corner. No response. “Tony!” Urgency breaks through your voice as you desperately try to hunt down someone - anyone - to get some answers.

You turn another corner, but find yourself on the ground in the blink of an eye as you run into something solid.

Steve.

“Steve,” you pant breathlessly and you jump up from the ground. “What’s wrong? W-Why isn’t Bucky home yet? He’s supposed to be with you! Wh-Where is he!”

A dark, sorrowful shadow covers his eyes, and he looks like he’s been endlessly crying for hours.

“S-Steve, wh-where…,” your voice fails you as your mind forces you to accept what Steve is about to say.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Steve suppresses a quiet sob. “I couldn’t save him.”

“No,” you breathlessly exhale. The walls around you start to shift and the floor disappears. Your body crumples to the floor as deep sobs rack through your body, and you hardly notice when Steve falls to his knees next to you, cradling you in his arms as fresh, grief-stricken tears stream down his cheeks.

At 8:47 a.m., your life was shattered into a million, unrepairable pieces.

Everyone had left long ago; the cold, bitter snow drove them inside to the reception - but you refused to leave him. They had long since closed his casket. It now sat with dozens of beautiful white roses piled on it, and messages were written all over the shiny surface of the coffin, a collection of memories and words of grieving from mourning friends - no, not friends, but family.

How could he leave behind his family like this?

A heavy presence falls behind you, but every cell in your body feels numb, and you’re unable to move or even react when a warm hand squeezes your shoulder.

“I’ve never seen him love someone as much as he loved you.” Steve’s normally confident, loud, bright voice is now broken, quiet, and rough. You can feel his soul is lighter - not because of some sort of weight being lifted off his shoulders, but because a part of his soul just died. Hot, stinging tears well in the corner of your eyes again, and you suddenly have the overwhelming urge to scream until your voice gives out, but instead, you clutch the white rose in your hand tighter, and don’t even notice the thorn breaking through your skin until you see dark drops of blood drip off your hand, staining the pure, white snow at your feet.

“I can’t say goodbye,” you whimper quietly, your lower lip beginning to tremble.

“I know,” Steve shakily breathes. He clears his throat. “It’s getting colder, we need to go inside.”

The thought of leaving Bucky to be buried in the cold, unforgiving earth below tears at your mind, and you wish nothing more than to be able to join him, or to bring him back, but you know that it won’t ever happen.

You force a small nod. “Just…give me a second?”

“Of course,” Steve reassuringly squeezes your shoulder before turning away, snow crunching under his heavy, receding footsteps.

“I-I don’t know how this whole thing works,” you begin. “I don’t know if you can hear me, or…or what, but I just…,” a tear slips down your cheek. “I’m sorry I didn’t get to say goodbye.” You slowly lean forward and place the white rose in your hand on his casket. “Thank you, James. For everything.”

As you step away, painfully dredging you way towards Steve, you take one look back, then look towards the grey, cloudy sky.

“I miss you.”

[kjs-s]

Unbreak my heart

 Pairing   Steve Rogers x reader

Summary  Steve found you on the rooftop during Peter’s birthday party.

Prompt   ‘Why are you up here all alone?’

Word Count: 990

Warnings:  jealousy and anger

A/N: This is my second entry for @caplansteverogers​ angsty challenge with the same prompt.  I hope you like it. 

The parts in italics are flashbacks.

@writing-journeyx   @sprinkleofhappinessuniverse @ohyesmarvel​ @agentpeggicarter  @buckys-fossil @romantichen @once-upon-an-imagine @locke-writes @lucetheding @marveliskindacool @captainrogerss   @jurassicbarnes @uncomfortable-writers @theassetseyeliner​ @sgtbxckybxrnes​ @thetherianthropydaily

You could barely hear the loud music blasting from the room below you. You hoped the others would focus most on the birthday boy and not you. Besides, it was Peter's first birthday as an Avenger and it would be memorable to him. Tony, of course, was afraid that he couldn't throw him the party without exposing him as Spider-man. That's why he told everyone that the party was to reward Peter as the top intern and a future employee at Start industries when he will finish school if he will be interested.  

The reason you found yourself alone on the rooftop was your boyfriend, Mark. You two had an argument and you chose to spend some time alone instead of ruining anyone's mood.

You were at the bar ordering a drink when Bucky approached you.

''How hard do you think it was for Tony to host this party? I mean he will have to host parties for every new person now?'' Bucky took a sip of his cola.

''You clearly haven't been here enough time to know that this is normal for us. Well the alcohol-free party is a first but considering Peter and his friends are underage I think it's a great idea. Just wait to see what we will plan your yours.'' You smiled at him and as soon as you finished your juice cocktail you noticed Mark coming over.

''Hi Mark, you remember Bucky, right?'' You leaned forward to give him a kiss but he stopped you and asked you to talk in private.

''What's going on? You two seemed cozy together.'' Mark looked over at the bar where Bucky was now talking with Steve. They both sensed that the conversation you were having with your boyfriend was not pleasant and were on alert.

''Seriously, this again? I already told you that I'm not cheating on you. That is something I will never do. Everyone that I work and live with are my friends. Ans even if they were interested in me, as long as we are together I will reject anyone else.'' You stepped away from him.

''I am not accusing you of anything but your ''friends'' might not be all just ''friendly'' with you.'' He grabbed your arm and turned you around to face him.

Taking you hand away you took a deep breath.

''I can't hear another word like that now. I am so tired of your jealousy. I need a moment alone. If you want to continue talking when I get back, come to find me in an hour.''  

You were in deep thought about your relationship when you heard footsteps behind you.

‘Why are you up here all alone? Did Mark say something to you?'' Steve asked you before taking off his jacket and putting it on your back.

''Thanks, Steve. Not really, he is just a little jealous of other men talking to me and I got tired of hearing it. I want this relationship to work because both my previous ones ended badly but I can't just be the only one that works for it.'' You hugged yourself feeling grateful for Steve's jacket. You hadn't realized how cold you were.

''I haven't much experience in the area but if you want my advice you should talk to him. Try to make him understand that you are the most honest and reliable person. You deserve someone who can see that. If you like him as much as I believe you do, you will find a way to work on it. Don't rush into a decision because of that scene earlier.''  

You thanked Steve for his advice and went back to the party with Steve following behind you.

However, Steve run into someone who had heard your conversation earlier just as he left the rooftop.

''Nice talk out there Steve. Too bad it was all for nothing.'' Tony patted him on the shoulder before the two men started heading back to the party.

''What do you mean? And why are you here?''

''I came to check on you and maybe help you a little. You see her idiot of a boyfriend just left with someone else. So, I'm assuming she is about to find out because unlike you the rest of the team isn't afraid to tell her how we really feel for him.'' Tony had seen some signs of Mark's jealousy before and he hated him. He and Bucky were watching him after you left and when they saw what happened decided to say everything to you.

''Do you see her anywhere Tony?'' Steve looked around to spot you.

''She is at one of the booths with Scott and Gamora. By her expression, I assume that Barnes already told her, her now ex-boyfriend left.'' Tony took a look at Steve trying to assume what he was thinking.

''I feel so bad for her. As much as I love her, I can't stand seeing her heartbroken. Even if that's for the best I'm sure she still feels sorry about it.''

''Yes, but no one is telling you to make a move. Steve all you can do now if be her friend like you always do. Join them now and let her vent. And by the time she realizes that her breakup with him was the best thing that happened, you will be there to let her know how you feel. I'm sure you will be able to make her very happy and that you two will be perfect together. But for now, just be there for her.'' Tony left Steve to choose what to do and went to look for his fiancée.

Steve took a drink and joined you thanking Tony for his advice. He was sure that by his birthday you would be his girlfriend.

[xx-multi-fandom-fics]

His Best Friend

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Prompt: “The government didn’t give me a choice.”

Written for: @caplansteverogers’s writing challenge

Word Count: 2,242

Warnings: None

Summary: Takes place during Civil War. The reader had been friends for a long time with Steve. He has told her about the Winter Soldier but ever since the day that she met him, she couldn’t get him out of her mind.

A.N.: I might do a part two to this if enough people want it.

The entire event of meeting the Winter Soldier ran through your mind as Sam and Rhodes fought about whether or not to sign the Accords. Tony had called the meeting, but so far, no one was getting anywhere. You let your mind drift as the yells became more and more out of focus.

As you blocked the blow that the Winter Soldier tried to deliver to Steve, you felt a sharp pain in your arm. You looked down and saw the red blood gushing from your forearm. You also saw the silver blade with a black handle sticking out from the source of the blood. You staggered back in pain and yelped. Steve got back up prepared to fight the Winter Soldier again only to see that he was frozen and staring at you. You clutched your arm oblivious to the soldier staring at you.

You finally looked up when you heard Steve talk.

“Bucky?” he asked the soldier. Bucky, you remembered that Steve said that was the name of his old best friend from World War II, but it couldn’t be him. Right?

As the cogs in your mind turned, the soldier replied, “Who the hell is Bucky?”

As you attempted to get closer to Steve, the soldier noticed your movement and ran in the opposite direction. You turned to Steve, “Did you call him Bucky, as in your old friend, Bucky Barnes?”

Steve sighed and wiped some blood off of the side of his head, “Yeah. He looked exactly like him. Well, besides the hair.”

“Why did he stop fighting?” you asked as you surveyed your wound with the knife still sticking out of your arm.

Steve noticed and reached for it.

“Leave it!” you gasped. “I’m going to let the medics handle it.”

“Suit yourself,” Steve shrugged. “But my guess as to why he didn’t hurt you was because he felt guilty.”

You stopped dead in your tracks. “The Winter Soldier felt guilty for stabbing me and stopped fighting even though we’ve never met before? Yeah, right.”

“You don’t understand Y/N. The entire time we were fighting, he had a weird look in his eyes. A look of emptiness. Like he’s going through the motions that have been ingrained in his brain. And he’s doing it without any emotion. When he looked at you, I saw the same look that he had before we went to war and before my injection. It was the same look that he’d have whenever he would save me from some guy who beat me up in an alley. He looked sad that it happened and mad that he couldn’t of helped more.”

“There’s no decision making process here. We need to be put in check! Whatever form that takes, I’m game,” Tony yelled towards Steve while Steve looked at his hands angrily. You had already made up your mind on the topic, but you didn’t know how to tell Steve who had been there for you through everything from your first mission to your first battle wound all the way to dealing with your first death of a loved one.

“I agree,” you said finally raising your head to look at Steve. He gave you a face of confusion and shock.

“Y/N-” Steve began.

“You can’t change my mind on this, Steve. I’m sorry. I have to do whatever I can to help save people in the best way. I think it’s with the Sokovia Accords. We’ve become reckless,” you explained as a tear ran down your cheek. You felt all eyes on you as the silence became harder and harder to bear.

“Please don’t hate me,” you begged as you got up and ran to your room.

Later that night as you stared at the ceiling thinking about everything that had happened, you heard a knock on your door. You quickly wiped the tears off of your cheeks as you sat up in bed.

“Hold on,” you yelled through the door as you rushed to your mirror. Your eyes were extremely puffy and red. You sloppily smeared on some concealer and tried to blend it in. You ran back to your bed and sat down.

“Come in.”

You heard the door open and saw Tony’s face peek in.

“Hey, Y/N. I just wanted to check to see if you’re okay,” he said with two mugs in his hand. He gave you one to which you grabbed happily. You took a quick sip and smiled at him when you tasted the familiar sweet taste of hot chocolate.

“Thanks, Tony. I’m okay. I just feel awful,” you laughed trying not to cry as you ran your free hand through your hair.

“Hey,” he whispered sitting next to you while rubbing his hand on your back. “You made the right choice. He’ll come to see that eventually.”

Tony had always acted like a father figure towards you. He called you out when you needed it, but he also comforted you when you were upset.

“Does he hate me?” you asked turning to him.

Tony paused, dropped his hand, and looked towards his mug trying to find an answer. That was enough of an answer for you. You leaned into him for a hug as tears once more streamed down your face. Tony took the mug of hot chocolate from you and placed them both on your nightstand.

“He doesn’t hate you, Y/N. He’s hurt, because he thinks you betrayed him. But we both know that you didn’t. Just talk to him.”

It had been about a week and you hadn’t gotten any closer to Steve. You tried to talk to him the next morning, but you ended up just getting into a worse argument. That afternoon, he left “on a trip” according to note he left behind. The entire team had been acting suspicious around you lately. Vision had been sticking as closely to Wanda as possible. Since you and her had been fighting over the Accords despite being extremely close, you didn’t see either of them much. You had walked in on Tony, Rhodes, and Nat whispering together. When you asked what they had been talking about, Nat looked at Tony with a sad look in her eyes. Tony looked at the ground then up at you.

“Great job, Y/N! Just planning a surprise birthday party for you is all!” Tony said faking anger as he crossed his arms to add to the act.

You rolled your eyes, “Tony, my birthday isn’t for another seven months.”

“I know,” he muttered shifting awkwardly. “But you know I don’t like waiting till the last minute.”

“Sure. Let me know when you actually want to tell me the truth. After all, I deserve it. I’ve proved my loyalty. I lost my best friend, because I believe in the same ideals as you. The least you can do is treat me with the same decency.”

You stormed off and had been keeping to yourself ever since then. You walked down to the kitchen for breakfast to see Tony, Vision, Rhodes, and Nat walking out.

“Where are you going?” you asked Tony.

“Out. We’ll call you if we need you,” he said as he gave you a goodbye hug.

“So we’re still lying, are we? Okay. Well, I’m completely free today, so don’t be afraid to call for help.”

For most of the day, you’d been sitting around. Finally, when you saw a man in a suit walk over to you, you knew it was time.

“Finally, so what mission do they need my help with?” you asked the man.

“They’re at the airport. Steve and the others are there.”

You stopped dead in your tracks.

“Steve? Does Tony want me to fight against him?” you asked breathlessly.

The man nodded his head.

“I can’t. No. I won’t. He’s my friend. At least he was my friend. I’ll have to sit out on this one,” you said heading back to the couch. However, you felt a tight grip on your arm and turned to see the man holding you and digging into his coat pocket. He pulled out a badge and flashed it at you.

“Miss, as a member of the FBI and a dedicated citizen to the United States, it is my duty to make sure that you fulfill your promises as stated in the Sokovia Accords. Those include that you will protect citizens from criminals. Do I need to remind you that Steve Rogers acted out against the government and is officially a wanted man?”

You sighed an exasperated sigh and looked at the man.

“Okay,” you breathed realizing that there was nothing you could do but do what you had said you would do. “Debrief me on the rest of it in the jet.”

As you flew above the fight, you saw Tony. You turned to the FBI agent.

“Thanks for the ride,” you said as you unbuckled your seatbelt.

“We’ll drop you off, Miss.”

“No need,” you smiled as you opened the back door of the jet and walked to the edge. “I prefer to make a dramatic entrance.”

With that, you jumped off and let your suit deploy it’s parachute, which you promptly cut off as soon as you landed. You immediately had something thrown at you as you stood up and gained your balance. You looked around and tried to figure out who had just attacked you hoping that it wasn’t Steve. You saw Wanda looking towards you and you sprinted towards her. You kicked a nearby piece of debris to disable her but not kill her towards her. That’s right, your power was your strength. You had always been insanely strong ever since you could remember which is what led your parents to give you up for adoption. You shook the bad memory from your mind as you looked around to find your next target.

It was then that you saw him and forgot what you were previously doing. The Winter Soldier. Bucky. He looked up and saw you. It was as if time froze. You stared at each other feeling some weird connection between yourselves. You began to walk towards him, until you felt a sharp pain in the side of your head. Everything began to go black as you felt your body hit the concrete. The last thing you heard was Wanda screaming and yelling apologies as she rushed over to your body.

You woke up and felt a throbbing sensation on the right side of your head. You brought your hand up to it only to feel a hand pull your arm down to its previous position.

“Be careful, Y/N. You took a hard hit. You’ll be fine, but first, you have to heal.”

You looked towards the voice, “Steve?”

“Yeah, it’s me,” he smiled.

You jolted towards him and wrapped your arms around him. You began crying ignoring the pain due to the sudden movement.

“I’m so sorry. I never wanted to fight against you. The government didn’t give me a choice.”

“Shhhh. You’re okay. We’ll drop you off with Tony once you’re healed up.”

“I don’t want to go back. Tony is great, but I can’t fight against you again. You’re my best friend and I can’t lose you again.”

You pulled away from Steve and saw Bucky staring at you.

“Bucky?” you asked him.

He nodded his head. “Sorry you got hurt because of me Y/N.”

You felt butterflies in your stomach.

“It’s okay. It’s not like you meant for me to get hurt.”

“I wanted to say thank you by the way,” Bucky said getting out of his chair and walking over to you.

“For what?” you asked with a confused expression.

“For saving me.”

“Wha-”

“For bringing me back. When I saw you and Steve on the highway, it made me realize who I was. For years, I had been serving HYDRA without a second thought. That day, you both brought me back to reality. After that, I did everything to remember yours and Steve’s face. I knew I had to get back to you.”

“Wait. I’m still confused. What did I do? I mean sure. Steve brought you back because he was your best friend. But why me?”

“Your beauty and innocence stirred something inside of me. You found the tiny bit of light that was hidden in my soul.”

“Did you say beauty?” you asked trying to figure out if he was flirting with you.

Bucky laughed, “Yeah, I did.”

He leaned closer towards you and kissed you on your cheek. You smiled as he pulled back.

“I’ll let you two talk some more. I’ll see you later, Y/N,” Bucky smiled as he walked out of the room.

“I haven’t seen him act like that since before the war,” Steve laughed to himself. You realized he had seen the entire thing and blushed.

You tossed a pillow at his face. “If you tell anyone,” you began.

“I’m sure you’ll make me suffer,” Steve joked.

The two of you talked the entire night and you decided that you would stay with Steve and Bucky and fight with them. That night as you sat in your hospital bed listening to the rhythmic sound of the monitors, you thought of Bucky. You blushed and pulled your blankets over your shoulder. You planned what you would say to him tomorrow as you drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

Thank you for reading! Like, reblogs, and giving feedback is always appreciated! Requests are open for certain fandoms. :)

[lostinthoughtsandfeelings]

Sandcastles & Dreams: Part 2/2

Character Pairing: Bucky x Dead!Reader, Bucky x Natasha

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: Angst, angst, ANGST. Please don’t read if you are not in happy  place / right mind set right now. There is no happy ending, actually end is not clear/ there is no closure. Think these are warnings enough.

Summary:  Just after he was finally ready to move on Bucky starts getting vivid dreams, about the life he always wanted with you.

A/N: This one is for our Mob!Queen @caplansteverogers​ ‘s  “Angst Writing Challenge”.  

#angstforcaplan  

Prompt / AU: “None of this is your fault” 

Tags: {Special Note for tags:  have tagged my regulars doesn’t mean you have to read it. It’s totally cool to skip this one} @caplansteverogers ,  @buckyboystan , @dani-si,  @dangerousvikings ,  @stuckyfox , @buckysforeverprincess,  @breezy1415 ,  @prettyyoungtragedy ,  @suz-123  ,  @terensebastianstan ,  @justreadingfics ,  @marveltookovermylife,  @learisa  @some-blondes-unicorn

P.S.: Please do not share my writing on anywhere other than Tumblr w/o my consent. You can also find my writings on AO3.

P.P.S:  Images / GIF’s taken from Google, Pinterest & Tumblr. 

Read Part 1 here

Why?

Why now?

All of a sudden the dream started coming back???

As he opened the tap to splash cold water on his face, he looked at himself in the mirror. He didn’t recognise this man.

He was fragment of someone he used to be, ghost of someone left behind to haunt the living being that was alive in this body.

He removed all his cloths and entered the shower. He took long shower. When he came out it was almost 4 AM.

He knew he would not be able to sleep, so he decided to go for run. He had to be at office by 8 so he still had time.

He came out and put on his running gear and went running. On his way back he brought coffee for both of them. Natasha was still sleeping so he made breakfast, ate it alone. Plated hers and put it in microwave for her along with her coffee.

After quick shower & getting ready, he sat in the car. As the engine turned to life, he took the usual route.

He saw the place where explosion happened. He passed the site every day. He was becoming masochist, passing by the place where you died.

Eyeing it with hope, as if any moment you were going to appear from it.

But today was different.

There were lot of construction trucks, machinery, & workers were standing at the place. All the signs of ‘crime scene ahead’ ‘do not enter without permission’ were removed.

He became anxious. In haste he put his leg on breaks too forcibly. Walked to the place.

Asked around and was told that place was cleared by FBI to reconstruct.

Sudden anger, sadness, washed over him.

He went back to his car and sped to his office. He was unsure what he wanted, what he expected but he wanted some answers so he drove.

He was early, so he waited. There was meeting schedule at 9.30 he would ask questions then. When clock hit the time he walked to briefing room. He was handed over case papers, Fury briefed him, he waited for Steve, Sam but they didn’t come.

So he spent his day working on his desk. Natasha messaged asking, how he was. Reminding him couple of thing he needed to do for wedding preparation, he just sighed & replied her with simple ‘ok’.

She retired from active duty after the last case, she didn’t want it anymore. So she took over training new agents, she liked the job, enjoyed it actually, along with Clint, he was a great mentor.

When clock hit five, Bucky decided he had enough so he drove to Steve’s place he contemplated going in, he didn’t like it going unannounced but he needed answers, he knew Peggy will throw fit and probably if peter was there, there would be another incident. But he didn’t care. He knocked on the door.

Steve opened the door, he was hesitant but gave Bucky kind smile, gestured him inside. He could see, that they were about to have dinner, table was set.

Peggy gave him disapproving look. But Peters reaction was worst the moment Bucky sat at the table, Peter rose from his seat making his chair screech louder, nostrils flaring, he was angry, Bucky was the last person he wanted to see, he just asked Peggy,

“May I be excused, I want to go to my room” she just gave him sad smile.

She was hopeless when it came to him. She could never handle him the way you did, you were natural, but she tried her best.

“Peter please” she pleaded, “I made you favourite dinner, please eat something” she urged him but peter didn’t budge, eyes trained on floor.

Steve intervened, “You can go to your room but only of you take your dinner & finish it there and you have to eat you medicines right now” he ordered

Peter swallowed all the tablets in one go.

“Wear your bracelet, so we know just in case” Steve said

“I’m not a baby” peter retorted

Bucky knew all this was his fault but he needed answers, he needed his friend. He was lonely too.

Peter wore bracelet which monitored his stress levels and his in case he had another panic attack they would be alerted.

He picked the plate and went to his room without another word.

Peggy followed.

Steve got up from his place, filled two glasses with amber liquid. Handed one glass to Bucky,

“Thanks” Bucky mumbled.

Steve just nodded and exhaled.

“Sorry to intrude but you were not at the office today” Bucky said

Steve nodded he was dwelling on how to break the news to Bucky.

“You cleared the incident site?” Bucky asked. He tried his best to keep anger, accusation, hurt away from it.

“Well, there was nothing more left to investigate” Steve said

“and you didn’t think it was important to inform me?” Bucky asked

“Buck” Steve finally looked up at his friend.

Bucky couldn’t comprehend the emotion but, there was more to it. He suddenly feared what his friend was about to say to him.

“Listen to me, we all need to move on” Steve pleaded “Heal, look up to the future”

“It’s over, it’s been six months. She is gone. You have to accept it!” Steve said

Bucky was just staring at his glass, he winced at mention of your death.

Steve put a comforting hand on his back, “We all need to heal, but we can’t do that if we kept holding to our past” he said

“You are getting married in two weeks, start a happy life. You loved her once, you will love her again. If I remember correctly you told me Natasha was love of your life”

Bucky snorted at this. He didn’t even know what true love was until he met you. Things you did for him…

Bucky sniffled, Steve just rubbed his shoulders. “Accept that it’s over. Move on please. And please know that… “Steve took deep breathe

“That none of this was your fault” he assured his friend.

“The explosion, we didn’t see it coming, none of us could have done anything to stop it” Steve continued

“Peter’s health, this situation, it’s not your fault either, it’s just…” before he could finish he was interrupted

“The hell it isn’t his fault” Peggy came stomping in the living area.

“This tonight, is definitely his fault” she accused Bucky

“Peg...” Steve tried to intervene she silenced him with a look

“We barely had three days without a panic attack and now it’s gonna start again” She said

“He barely touched the food, he is crying again, we can’t sleep we can’t do anything” she was angry now

“That boy has no one but me, and I don’t know how to protect him, how to parent him, I’m helpless. You know what, she came back for him” Peggy said pointing at Bucky,

“She had no intention in coming back that was not her plan. But she came back because you promised her, you told her you loved her, that you will always love her. She trusted you, just to find you going back to your life, finding comfort in someone else, look what it got her Death!!!” she accused Bucky & started crying.

Steve got up and hugged her, rubbing her back in comforting motions.

“I just want to leave, I don’t want to be in this city anymore, I want this over with” She cried in Steve’s chest

Steve nodded but didn’t say anything.

Peggy composed herself, “You promised me, you will take us far away”  “Where we will make new memories, away from this city, from its people” she looked up at him with hope.

Steve nodded, “Yes and we are leaving by the end of this week as promised” he assured her.

Bucky’s head shot up, he was shocked beyond words. The last family member he had left was leaving him as well.

Peggy just gave Steve a sad smile nodded, “I’m taking Pete to our room, and he will sleep in the adjacent bed. I don’t want to worry” she told Steve.

He just nodded and Peggy left without another word.

Bucky still comprehended the situation, astound beyond words. He couldn’t say anything, suddenly he was aware of his surroundings, packaging, empty and labelled boxes.

“I’m sorry Buck, but they’re my priority” Steve told him

“Interpol offered me a job in Italy” Steve informed.

“Tony signed the guardian ship of Peter to Peggy, which was y/n’s last wish. She somehow knew she wouldn’t survive, she had made arrangements.” Steve said

Bucky didn’t say anything, “I overheard them talking last week” Steve said

Bucky looked up meeting his friends gaze with questioning look.

“Peggy & Peter, that how they wished they never came back, that how they should have stayed in hiding, that three of them Y/N included made great family and didn’t need anyone” Steve said as he released shaky breathe

“Peter is a kid, but Peggy too felt this way!” Steve was in tears now,

“In that moment I decided to move, to make new memories, we need change of place not only city but country. It’s good for their health. I’m sorry you lost someone you loved but I got Peggy back, and I will do anything to keep her happy and safe” Steve said

“Even if it means I have to lose everything, & start a fresh” he hoped his friend will understand.

“When do you leave?” Bucky asked

“Friday is my last day working with FBI, we are moving there over the weekend” Steve answered

Bucky nodded, without saying a word, put down the glass and stood up abruptly. He was not going to have single family member at his wedding.

Steve came to him, hugged him tight. Both men tried to put as much as they could in that hug, no words were exchanged.

Bucky turned and left, walked out of without looking back. Uncertain of his own future.

Two weeks past in a blink, day of wedding came. Sam stepped up in Steve’s absence as a best man.

It was almost time for bride to walk out. Bucky took his place at the altar Sam standing right behind him.

Bucky scanned the crowd, not a single family member in such big audience.

Then his eyes locked with Tony, and both men gave each other acknowledging nod. Tony gave him a sad smile, his eyes speaking more. As if he could understand Bucky’s dilemma, in that moment they were connected by someone who was long gone but was still alive amongst them.

Both of them loved you at different times in your life, you were different person to each of them but love was real.  

Tony had not only had lost his childhood best friend but someone he truly loved. He could actually fathom the loss Bucky felt, knew how helpless & hopeless it felt to lead this life. 

Both of them starting lives with somebody else.

Just then woman sitting next to Tony, Bucky assumed was his wife, whispered something to him and eye contact broke between the men.  

The music started and there came Natasha walking down the aisle with Clint. It was obvious choice for her, she didn’t have any family, and Clint was the one who gave her second chance at life. He was her confidant and mentor.

Natasha looked beautiful, looked happy, everything about her was perfect. She smiled widely at Bucky when their eyes met.

Just in that moment Bucky was caught up, once again he remembered you, saw your face, and imagined it was you walking towards him. You were giving him loving smile that the two of you were going to start the wonderful life together.

His mind played the dream again; you lounging in beach chair while reading, his son building sandcastle, and his daughter sprawled on his chest.

His family!!!

Same vision, the house, the beach, the breakfast, the kids giggling…

No it was not true.

You were Dead…

His subconscious was aware that Natasha reached the altar, Clint kissed her cheek and gave her hand to Bucky and they turned to the priest.

He heard Natasha say “I Do”…

The priest recited vows to Bucky,

I James Buchanan Barnes, take you Natasha Romanov, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

Priest waited for Bucky to agree, but nothing came out of him. He was still caught up in his mind, Natasha squeezed his hands a little and gave him encouraging smile.

He was aware that people were getting restless, Sam his best man nudged him a little, priest cleared his throat, and suddenly Bucky was pulled out of his reverie, he met hopeful gaze of Natasha and he said

“I D…..”

                                              *****————-*****

After Note: Please leave some feedback, show me some love( I know after writing this I don’t deserve it, but still).

[randomstoriesofabunny]

Chapter 2: They courted

Summary: Have you ever wanted something so much that the fear of not getting it makes you wonder if you ever should have wanted it at all? Steve Rogers is the last one of the royal lineage. The moment he got crowned King, the court and his mother pressured him to get married and have an heir. But he wants to find love in this cold world where everyone is moved around like a chess piece.

Words: 2045

Warnings: Cheesy scene at the beach. The story starts kind of fluff but it will have a sad ending! You’ve been warned!!

A/N: This story is for @caplansteverogers angst challenge.

This ended more fluffy and cheesy that I expected >w<   Definitely, listening the soundtrack of the movies pride & prejudice and The Young Victoria helped a lot.

I hope you enjoy it!

"Stop fussing with your tie!" Natasha scolded and moved Steve's hands out of the way to remake his knot tie.

"Sorry," he muttered sheepishly and looked around to avoid Nat's eyes.

"I told you we got this," she said and changed her attention to the earpiece in her ear, "all right, the others finished the standard procedure."

"You really have to check everyone, every time we go to a party? I highly doubt someone would try to kill me in one," Steve murmurs while looking at his reflection in the mirror a last time.

"It's for your safety," she shrugged and handed him a gun so he could hide it in the inside of his jacket. He knew Natasha and Bucky were the best, but he liked the idea to be able to protect himself in case the situation went south.

"You never know, besides, we promised the Queen we would return you in one piece," after a moment of silence, she snorted. Probably Bucky said something in the comms.

Steve walked down the hall and passed the doors that took him to the ballroom. It was the first time ever he arrived at a party and everyone wasn't looking at him, like they’ve been waiting for him. He could see people chatting amicably or dancing on the other side of the room.

When he first saw the Lord Stark’s mansion he was astounded. He knew the house was near a cliff, what he never expected was the fact a part of the house was suspended over the edge by thick columns over the sea. He was used to the ancient manors, decorated with the different artistic movement of the era they were built. However, this mansion had its own charm and he was able to appreciate it more with the decorations for the party.

He walked around, looking at the people. He recognized some men or women from the court, another from the pictures Nat showed him from the file she made especially for this party. A hand on his right shoulder caught his attention and he saw Tony Stark offers him a glass of wine.

“For a moment I thought you were hiding,” he said. Before Steve could say something he added, “now let me introduce you to the sharks, don’t worry too much and don’t splash, they love that.”

You had arrived with your father to this country with false promises. When your father asked you if you wanted to go on a business trip with him to another kingdom you were thrilled. Finally! They will let me involve more in the family business, you thought excitedly. Instead of just go as a person of confidence to the other kingdoms only to make sure all the merchandise had arrived safely, you were going to be able to make trades with the other Lords.

That was until you were being dragged around by your father in this damned party searching for the king, your heart shattered when reality reached you. You were here to be offered to the king as future wife, like merchandise. Not to be introduced to your father’s business partners or to watch how he made deals with them so you could get experience. Certainly it was a business trip for him.

When he got entertained discussing the prices of different ores of precious metals you excused yourself to get some space away from him. A waiter passed with a trail full of glasses of wine, you took your first glass of wine of the night, since you had been forced to stay close in case your father found the mysterious king.

The fruity flavor of the wine helped you to soothe your anger and disappointment. After a moment, you decided he wasn’t going to ruin your night, you were already here so you would make the most of it.

You walked towards the dance floor, maybe if you looked around you could get someone to dance with. Studying the people in the room your gaze fell on a stranger. A handsome stranger. He had a chiseled jaw, his blond hair was short and curled ever so slightly over his forehead.

Suddenly, his eyes met yours and he gave you a polite smile. Heat started to warm your cheeks so you smiled back and turned around to go to the next room. He caught me blatantly ogling him! You thought embarrassed.

“There you are!” the voice of your father caught your attention and you watched him walk towards you, he caught your arm with his hand and pulled you towards him, “I told you to stay close to me, now I’m going to introduce you to the king and you better behave.”

“Yes, father” you mumbled, trying to hide your annoyance.

He took you back to the room you were and walked towards the cute stranger you saw before. He definitely was not what you imagine the king would be. You expected a middle aged man with a permanent sneer on his face, but now that you could see him closer he seemed young, near his late twenties at least.

“Your Highness, this is my daughter (Y/N),” your father said and pushed you discreetly towards him.

Steve wondered why you were on the file when the fact your father expected and advantageous marriage through you was obvious. He was caught off guard when you extended your hand like you were expecting him to shake it, instead of courtesy or give him the back of your hand so he could kiss it. There wasn’t a suggestive smile, you didn’t fluttered your eyelashes or winked at him. Even your dress was beautiful, hugging your body perfectly without showing too much cleavage, unlike the other ladies he met so far.

His surprise must have been obvious because your father scolded you, however, he took your hand before you could take it back and shook it.

“Do you want to dance with me?” Steve asked you and you nodded.

The song was soft, perfect for a slow dance. The king moves you around following the rhythm of the music perfectly.

“C-can I-”you trailed off and mumbled a never mind.

“It’s okay,” he said with an encouraging smile.

“Uhm, I mean no offense your majesty, but I don’t know your name,” you said swiftly, words stumbling over each other. You locked your gaze into his tie, not daring to look at him.

“Steve,” he said, you couldn’t find any bitterness in his voice and you raised your eyes. Amusement shining in his eyes, “can I make you a question?”

“Of course”

While you danced you made small talk, mostly you spoke of the different places both of you visited. Him in his trip around the kingdom and you to the different ports and cities you visited when they asked you to supervise a shipment.

The music stopped, pulling you both out of your little bubble. A man approached both of you and not so subtly, pushed you out of the way, so he could introduce his daughter to Steve. You made a quick curtsy and left. He wanted to go after you, it was the first decent talk he had with a lady, and he wanted to know you more.

However, the damage was done. He couldn’t leave without being rude to the man and the young lady, even when she had been catalogued as a –FF- the initials of Fawning Female, as Bucky decided to call them.

After dancing with the girl, that would not stop talking about how a good queen she would be, and how beautiful she would look dressed with the finest jewelry and finery. He excused himself and walked out of the room.

“It’s getting late,” Natasha said and approached him, “She’s in the enclosed balcony, I managed to keep her there for a moment”

“You’re a lifesaver,” Steve said and followed Natasha’s directions

“I deserve a raise,” she teased and stopped in the hall to give you and Steve some privacy.

Steve liked this part of the house, the wall of glass gave the perfect view of the lights of the city and in the morning he was able to see the ships navigate towards the port or to return home.

“Hey,” he said softly and you jumped at the sound of his voice, unaware of his presence until now.

“Steve, um, I mean, your highness”

“Steve is fine,” he said, trying to soothe your anxiety. He stood there, shifting his weight from leg to leg, feeling awkward and unsure. He knew you were waiting for him to say something, but he was nervous.

“I… um… do you want to have lunch with me tomorrow?” he clears his throat, and adds quickly, “only if you want. Um, it’s okay if you don’t want to. I just-”

“Yes” you said and smiled softly, stopping him before he started to ramble, “it’s getting late so…”

“Oh, yeah, you’re right. Good night.”

“Good night, Steve” you said and made a courtesy before you left.

"So very not smooth, Rogers" Bucky said, appearing next to him and watching you retreat to your room.

"Shut up, jerk" he mumbled, but he couldn’t stop the smile in his face.

The two weeks Steve was supposed to spend in Lord Stark’s mansion were gone in a blink of an eye. He managed to spend most of his time with you, even when you got some threats from the other ladies that wanted to seduce the king.

You found two allies in Natasha and James, they were nice to you and they kept you safe from any danger –or possible embarrassment- because of the jealousy of the girls. And you tried to keep your father far away from Steve. He only wanted power, so when he realized how smitten Steve was with you he tried to sneak into the restaurant you and Steve were having lunch to try and discuss a possible position in the court or lands in exchange of your hand.

But Steve’s guards never let him in, even when he screamed at them. Steve told you he didn’t care about the attitude of your father and he wouldn’t judge you because of him.

It was your last day in this country, Steve would stay here for another week before he had to return to the castle. You didn’t want to go, the moment felt like a dream, a sweet dream. So, when Steve suggested you to go for a walk on the beach, you agreed eagerly. It was late, the sky was clear, giving you a full view of the stars above.

“I want you to go back to the capital with me” Steve said softly, breaking the peaceful silence.

For a moment you only stared at Steve, not sure if he really said those words or the sound of the ocean waves crashing against the rocks made you imagine it.

“You…” you whispered before your voice died down. Him, offering this mean one thing, he chose you as his Queen.

“This is so rushed,” you said, “we barely know each other…” your heart was pounding in your chest, you were excited and fearful. Steve was a wonderful man, so kind and sweet.

“You are right,” Steve said, pulling your attention back to him. He raised a hand to cup your cheek, “there’s a lot that I don’t know about you. But the things I do know? Those are things worth loving, and reason enough to take a chance with you.”

You know he’s waiting for an answer. Saying yes would mean leaving your home and country to move to this one and rule it, that’s something you did not prepare for. But in the other hand, you would be with Steve and that was the only thing that mattered.

“Yes,” you breathed out and for a moment you thought he didn’t hear you, “I’ll go with you.”

His smile was so bright, a sigh of relief leaved his lips before he placed a soft kiss to your lips.

Chapter 1 - Masterlist - Chapter 3

[battlechicklovefanfic]

Loki Laufeyson x Reader: Disappeared

Description: Loki left you all alone, to go off and rule alongside Thanos. Now, he’s walked right into your apartment and expects things to be just like they were. (Prompt: “The bed became too cold when you left me”. 

Genre: Gods, so much angst!

Warnings: ANGST!!!! And spoilers for the first Avengers!

(PS I’m gonna start adding a word count) WORD COUNT: 615

Author’s Note: I LOVE THIS ONE!!! YAY, I FEEL CONFIDENT IN MYSELF!!! BY THE WAY!!!! Special thanks to @caplansteverogers for letting me join her writing challenge! Go follow em’! They have amazing fanfics!

He had left you. All alone. With nothing. You woke up one day and he was gone. No sign of him left in your tiny apartment. About a week later, you turned on the news, to see that he had completely destroyed New York in an attempt to take it over for Thanos. He had left you for power, for his greed, for a throne made of his very own lies.

You thought that you had gotten over it. Heck, you moved on to other people for a while, but those relationships never lasted. And when they ended, you were always left lying on your bed, thinking of him. You thought of is bottle green eyes, of his sly smirk, and of his alluring intelligence. He was intoxicating, even after he was gone.

One day, you heard a knock on your door. Opening it up, you saw him standing there, the same old cocky smirk printed on his face. He strolled right on in as if he had never left you in the first place,

               “Well, (Y/N),” he snickered, “You certainly kept the place nice and clean, just how I like it.”

               You stood in shock, your mouth gaping open like a fish gasping for air. You simply couldn’t process the whole thing. How could this man leave you high and dry, then come back and act like nothing had ever happened?

               “It’s bee a while. What’s for dinner?” He plopped down on your couch, crossing his legs. He fiddled with the remote that sat on the side of the armrest. Slowly, you made your way around the living room to stand right in front of you.

               Suddenly, you could process it all.

               And, boy, were you mad.

               You exploded, “YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN JUST STROLL IN HERE AND ACT LIKE YOU NEVER LEFT ME!?!?!?”

               “He didn’t seem fazed as he looked down at his fingernails, lips pursed slightly, “Well, darling, I never really left you, just… disappeared.”

               “Disappeared…” you muttered to yourself. Your eyes slowly started to stream hot tears as a broken smile painted your lips. Your hands found their way to your hair as you started to yank and tug on it, “Disappeared… Disappeared. DISAPPEARED!!! Do you know…. Do you understand…. Gods, Loki… The bed became too cold when you left me… Loki…”

               That seemed to catch his attention as he looked up at you, frowning, “(Y/N), what do you mean?”

               “Loki, I loved you. I guess I still love you, as much as I hate it. You don’t understand the hole that you left in my heart. You don’t understand how empty you left me. You don’t understand how lonely I’ve been!!!! And now you act like you never did a thing…” You sobbed pitifully, falling to your knees. They made a painful clacking noise as they slammed down against the hardwood.

               “Darling,” he leaned in, putting a finger under your chin, “I apologize ever so much. Thanos blackmailed me… Manipulated my mind. I never would have left you willingly, my everything. Not ever.”

               “Loki,” you sniveled, “How can I trust a word you say. You are the God of Lies, after all. You could be using me…Am I just another stepping stone in one of your schemes?”

               He pressed his soft lips to yours. You felt all of the pain that he left you with dissipate, as he brushed his fingers against your jaw. He pulled away, looking deeply into your eyes,

               “I will spend eternity proving that I speak nothing but the truth. I will spend eternity proving to you that I love you. I will spend eternity showing you that I will never leave you again.”