I have grown closer to the idea of actually becoming like … best friends with someone… Christ Nolongerlonghair has compromised my situation here… turns out, and I’ve known this for a very long time, that Nolongerlonghair hates one of my friends… and well I am sorta becoming best friends with this person, let’s call him curlsareforgirls…
Well she told me, when he first contacted me via facebook (he wrote this endearing sweet sweet message about how he kinda liked me and stuff, I know cute right?) that she didn’t want to ever be seen near him if I befriended him… and I got, not gonna lie here, really really offended by her snobbyness (again sorry nolongerlonghair) in fact as I am writing this I get kinda mad at her... okay so her reason for not wanting to even learn anything about this guy? Let me tell you:
She found him ugly. There, that apparently is enough reason to shun a person from ever coming near me? Like what the fuck!? First of all, my opinion about people being ugly, my honest to god opinion is: fuck that shit.
To my friend I am always like, “yeah you’re probably right”… and because she is so unaccepting I will go behind her back and just not tell her stuff, because guess what? I have found one of the kindest souls ever in this guy, and we have everything in common. We do stuff together that others don’t want to, example: He lets me chose the movie, so last time we hung out we watched two anime movies and it was great. I tell him everything, well not everything, because who really gets everything about me? Apparently I don’t ever tell any one person the bare-to-the-bones truth about me… but I tell him about what it is like when I smoke weed and eat shrooms… that is pretty honest…
I mean who is she to judge the people I associate myself with and how can she feel that she is so much better than curlsareforgirls? I mean, okay he is not the best looking guy out there, but neither is she the best looking girl out there… and why do we feel this need to measure our own status in society after other peoples physical exterior? Like do you feel qualified to be better than everyone else if you are hotter than them? This judging system is one of the most unattractive traits in a person, and I am almost ashamed to say that my best friend uses this on probably a daily basis…
Do you want my honest opinion again? No? well fuck you and take it anyway: Skin is what surrounds our bodies, it is made from billions of cells, organisms, and what not to keep us alive, to keep us functioning. Skin is our outer layer, the layer everyone sees and apparently judges us by… but does anyone ever think about how awesome everyones skin is? Like without it we would die! I am thankful to have my skin, and curlsareforgirls is thankful for his… apparently we are some of the only ones who love our skin!? Physical appearances is one of the most judged things about us human beings, and society constantly feeds us with models to make us crave a more aesthetic appearance.. but who are we really kidding? We’re never going to amount to that… and I am sad to say that most people who actually amounts to that often hates themselves afterwards because they let go of themselves along the way… tell me what you think blog, am I wrong here? Or am I just high on too much ice-cream and coco right now?
I mean, curlsareforgirls and I talked this over the other day, the whole question of what beauty is and all that crap and we were both very much on the same page about the whole question of the ideal beauty of the modern age: that it has deteriorated, not only in the beauty it holds but also in the bodily function… this is us comparing the image of beauty from a hundred years ago (a fuller woman with love handles and all) with a skeleton from the runways of this year’s spring summer collection… and the bad condition such a thin body is in…
I am getting sidetracked here, I just want to say this:
If I am to go all gay and lesbian on a woman, my choice of woman has been Adele for a very long time. There is something about her and her fight for fame that I deeply admire… she is stunning in every way and I would feel honored to go down on her.
This is to say that I have a weakness for people who might not be the ideal of modern beauty, but rather make you think outside the box and rewrite the book of your own personal ideals…
I leave you with this question: what is beauty?
I can’t tell you what beauty is today, because I think the term ‘beauty’ got screwed up along the way. But I can tell you what beauty really should be: the way you describe yourself and the people around you, for example: curlsareforgirls’s beauty is his intelligence that he hides from most people, it is the wonder that is his true laugh and the way he gets nervous when I look him in the eyes for too long. It is his morals and his ability to say no to things even though I say yes. And it is the skin that surrounds his body, covered in pimples and reddish, it is still beautiful, and so is my skin marred by stretch marks from before I lost weight.
That is what it’s called when you have a feeling of wanting to self-destruct. Like when you’re standing on a very tall building and you wonder what it would be like if you just jumped…. Not that you would ever do it of course. You know full and well that you wouldn’t do it… but your mind still wonders. I experience this a lot, this urge to self-destruct.
Dear blog I am proud to say that I am now at my public high school. I met my roommate, she is very nice. She is from Taiwan and she is 25 and 1.50 meters tall. Might I add that I am 1.73 meters tall… She is super funny and I believe we’re off to a good start. It’s been a hectic day and I am actually really tired and it’s not even midnight yet. I thought I would be scared or sad that I’ve left home like this, but so far I’ve talked to a lot of nice people. I met a guy from Prague, he was very nice and he offered me tea. I’ve never had a guy offer me tea before, so I was very pleased and excited about that!
So far I’ve seen a lot of cute guys, PragueGuy is one of them… there’s a pretty hot Norwegian guy here, but I think he’s the kind of guy who knows that he’s hot and thereby acts like a total bitch… but later judgments will tell if my assumption is correct.
A disturbing fact is however that I find that there’s already two teachers on this school I’d definitely go for, if I was given the chance… and one of them is a pottery teacher… I might have to get into potterey just to test the waters and see if there’s a chance *insert winky face that is also a little disgusted by itself… The pottery teacher is an old man with a big beard and he smokes a pipe.. yeah I know this is a new kind of disturbed…. I am just so fascinated by his beard and his pipe.. and I’d like to see what other than clay his fingers could sculpt… if you get my drift *winky face.
I also saw a girl whom I thought would be up for a little lesbian kissing… but it turned out that she was a boy… damn… I’ll have to find my lessie experience somewhere else…
Look forward to the coming 22 weeks where I will explore the life as a student here, and possibly stalk the guys here and the teachers of course… oh my god the teachers…
