seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from France
seen from China
seen from Maldives
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Russia
seen from Canada
seen from Russia
seen from Germany
seen from China
seen from Italy
seen from United States
seen from Canada
seen from Estonia
.
Sometimes I wonder, do I choose to be unhappy? Am I choosing depression and refusing happiness? I know the rational answer is no but I just have so many ugly parts of me whispering in my ear and I don't know who to believe
.
What if life has always sucked and now I'm just truly woke?
Things I've done today: - watched supernatural - cried
.
I wanted his chest pressed against mine, skin against skin against skin. I wanted him to kiss me so hard I couldn't breathe, so hard that my chest would tighten up and I would be one step closer to dying. I wanted him to love me half as much as I did him, for him to look at me and smile brightly. But he never would, and I knew that and I've known it for so long. I wasn't beautiful, I wasn't lovely. I wasn't anything desirable or even particularly wanted. I could pretend though, couldn't I? Pretend that there was something there besides total distaste in his eyes and pretend that it was more than just sexual frustration between us. I lie to myself a lot though I hardly ever believe me.
