#annecdote

[thiziri]

A funny Annecdote 😂

[thesauruswithnowords]

My father is honestly one of the most unintentionally failtastic people I know.

Context: I'm sick, stuck in bed with high fever and my mom will be busy for the evening.

"Your dad will take care of you." She says to me before leaving. "But remember to be very specific about what you want and need."

I nod, because of course I already know this. Asking my dad to get/buy anything on your behalf is basically like getting a wish from a very capricious djinn. Anything could happen. It has been like that my whole life. The tragic part? He doesn't do it intentionally.

Jump to dinner time. My dad's been busy all day and I figure that he probably doesn't want to cook, especially when I'm not sure how much I can eat. Oh he would do it if I asked, but it would be a waste, right? So I text him, explain this, and say: I just want Chinese fried noodles with chicken. You can get the finished stuff in boxes from the ready meal section.

A moment after sending this text, I start doubting it'll be enough. So I send him a picture of what I mean; one where you can clearly see the packaging. I also tell him exactly which stores sell this. He's driving right by them on the way home, so it's no trouble.

Still, after sending this text too, I hesitate. Will it suffise? I end up sending him a link to the stores homepage, one showing exactly what I mean too.

After all this, surely he will find it?

No.

An hour or so later he shows up, wakes me from my feverish dozing and proudly holds out some containers. I squint at them. I'm not wearing my glasses, and can't see much, but they don't look quite right...

"Do you want shrimp or mozzarella?" He asks me happily.

I blink slowly at him, "What did you get?" I ask, already seeing where this is going.

"Pasta salads." He responds with a straight face. Then he frowns. "Wasn't I supposed to?"

"Well, it no Chinese fried noodles." I say mildly as I sit up and find my glasses.

He looks down at the two containers in his hands. "It's noodles..." He argues faintly.

It's pasta. But he gets points for finding something made of the same substance at least.

"It's fine dad." I assure him, because I know he means well and loves getting praised. "I like pasta salads. I'd like the mozzarella one."

Reassured, he sits down on the edge of my bed, hands me my pasta mozarella and pesto salad, and we start eating.

"Is it okay?" He asks, after a while.

"Sure." I say. "Thanks dad."

He smiles and we keep eating.

Jup. Be very specific what you ask for indeed...

[maximusfrancescodecruralegman]

My elementary school had a little Lego room you could build stuff in and I would go there every morning and continuously build on this mini-scene with only the weird pieces and whatever miscellaneous junk I would find in those big bins

[punkrabidmutt]

👀 I love stinky old men <3

[scenekid2k20]

starbucks is like the subway of coffee.

[histoiresconfites]

Pérégrinations éclictiques

Dans la vie, je suis curieuse et dispersée. Alors je vous dit pas en confinement.

J’ai décidé d’en faire une expérience sociologique et une force poétique. J’ai noté, pendant une semaine, le fil de mes sujets d’intérêt et de recherche de la journée. 

Lundi : - L’expression « à boul » et le mot « maboul » - Le cinéma underground de Jonas Mekas et Alain Cavalier - La série de photographie sur les femmes de Justine Kurland - La linguistique - Les variétés de patates - Le phonographe - La gamme de si majeur - La pédale wah-wah 

Mardi : La création de l’univers – Big Bang – Molécules – Atomes – Neutrons – Protons – Particules élémentaires – Apparition du vivant – Cellule – Chromosome – ADN – Génome – Clonage – Fécondation in vitro – Intelligence Artificielle

Mercredi : Podcast Pablo Sevigne “Collapsologie, intuitions et émotions” - « Dimanche » (Léo Roi) – Le vrai Michel – Hip House Europe de l’Est – Gimmick – Nicolas Jaar – Mixtape – Vladimir cauchemard – 6ix9ine

Jeudi : Cure de sébum – Vertus de l’argile verte – Confection d’un masque en tissus - Origine du mot Mari – Mariage – Podcast « Parler comme jamais » - Théorie de grand remplacement de la langue française – Les Emojis – Les fautes d’orthographe – L’humour – Le manuel machine à coudre JANUOR – L’humour sur Arte des Inconnus

Vendredi : Podcast « Votre dictionnaire est-il de droite ? » (Parler comme jamais) - Le Wiktionnaire – Le Dico – #Lesmotsquituent – Open Culture - Aaron Swartz – Rose des bois – « Depuis quand » de David Castello-Lopes 

Samedi : La machine à coudre – Le fonctionnement de BioCop – Les tomates cœur de bœuf – Les accents (Podcast  « Parler comme jamais ») – La Nouvelle-Zelande – La naturopathie

Dimanche : Histoire de la fourchette - Alexandre Le Grand – Charlemagne -  Soliman le magnifique 

Voilà, après cette expérience fort enrichissante, je ne garantie aucune expertise sur aucun des sujets mentionnés. MAIS je certifie avoir lu l’introduction de la page wikipedia de chaque sujet et être devenue experte du clic. Je crois pouvoir me qualifier d’eclictique. 

[sockthewalk]

What would you do if you woke up to a world without COVID-19?

What would you do if you woke up and there was no such thing as COVID-19?

Recently, I was asked this question and didn’t know how to respond. I stayed up all night staring at my ceiling thinking of the wildest things I could do.

Thoughts of gallant trips to Paris and New York with my friends and Boyfriend filled my head. Imagining what it would be like living out our summer days without a…

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[placidthehermit]

Today I was asked a question that Ive kind been dreading since I was a kid by my parents , which was if I was willing to get rid of my surname so that I can get better opportunities or jobs.

I’ve been thinking about this for literally years but One of the the ways I see it is I’m not going to compromise my name and heritage, just to fit in or conform to some bullshit my name is my fucking name as unimportant it is really it’s mine and I won’t ever brush it to the side, I say that shit with my fucking chest, pronounce that shit for you five times, slowly and with full accent aswell till you get it right, but yea I pretty much said fuck all of that, my name is my name, and the smile from my mothers face was one of the best things I’ve seen in a while.