Okay you're getting this one because I don't think I'll ever finish it.
Road Trip
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
They’re on a road trip. Julien’s dad had asked if they were coming home for Easter and Julien had agreed, and Lucy had suggested a road trip and she’d agreed to that, too.
She’s regretting it now.
They’d stopped at a diner somewhere near Needles for lunch a couple hours earlier, which was fine - the atmosphere had been nice and the food had been mediocre - but Julien has spent the last half hour feeling increasingly nauseous, and she’s starting to think it’s probably more than just motion sickness.
“Lucy, do we have Gravol?” she asks through gritted teeth when the winding highway leaves her stomach gurgling unpleasantly.
“Mm…” her girlfriend shrugs in the backseat. “I’ll check.”
“What, you nauseous?” Phoebe asks, glancing over from the driver’s seat of her honda civic as Julien nods in affirmation.
“I don’t think lunch agreed with me,” she murmurs, hands fisted in the absolutely enormous hoodie she’s wearing (it’s one of Lucy’s. Probably).
Lucy passes her the Gravol and Julien brings it to her mouth with trembling hands, downs it with a swig of water from Phoebe’s bottle, and tries to ignore the feeling of her stomach twisting itself into knots.
Another hour after that, she’s not faring any better. In fact, on top of the nausea pulsing in her gut, her head is pounding and her whole body is trembling, overheated and achy.
“I feel gross,” she whispers, when they reach a rest stop and Lucy asks if she‘s coming as Phoebe runs for the bathroom. “Like, I think I might throw up.”
“Well, now’s a good time to do it, I guess,” Lucy shrugs. “We’re literally at a bathroom.”
Julien shrinks in on herself in the passenger seat, trying not to cry with how awful she feels. “I won’t do it in a shitty trucker bathroom,” she murmurs, “I refuse to puke in a toilet that’s barely more than an outhouse.”
“Fair enough,” Lucy shrugs again, and turns to follow Phoebe into the bathroom. Julien takes another Gravol while she waits for them to return.
After another 20 minutes on the road, Julien’s feeling absolutely miserable. The winding highway leaves her hunching over and whimpering, clutching her stomach as if that will help the waves of utter yuck sloshing around inside her. Phoebe drives slowly, glancing over at her in concern every time she lets out a soft whine of nauseated embarrassment, and Lucy reaches over the seat to rub her shoulder gently.
“If you need us to pull over, let us know, okay?” She tells her, “it might take a second to find a place.” Julien nods, and then her eyes roll shut as her stomach lurches violently.
It’s a mere five minutes later that Julien whispers a soft, “okay, maybe pulling over would be a good idea,” because she’d be an idiot to spend another moment ignoring the pressure building against her epiglottis.
Phoebe curses softly under her breath. “We just passed a place to pull off, like, thirty seconds ago,” she explains. “Should I speed up to get to the next one sooner, or slow down to try to avoid… y’know.” she gestures vaguely at Julien, who nods.
“Uh, slow, I think.” Julien’s not sure she’ll be able to avoid disaster if Phoebe speeds up. At least with the slow pace they’re going now, they have a hope of making it off the highway before her control completely crumbles.
They almost make it.
Julien can see the turn-off when it happens, less than a minute down the road, but she suddenly can’t breathe as her stomach twists violently, and she gags hard against the back of her hand.
“Do not throw up in my car-” Phoebe warns, but it’s too late. Julien’s throat bobs and her stomach constricts, and then she’s vomiting into her lap.
It burns as she coughs it up, and then it stinks when it hits her jeans, and she blinks rapidly against the tears welling in her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she murmurs. Her stomach gurgles.
Maybe like a fic where you and Julien like agreed to keep it casual but like both of you want it to mean more
jj chats: hi love!!! this one took me a while and i apoligize!! i just couldn't think of a good way to write it but i think i figured it out!!
warnings: RPF, use of y/n, reader is a musician/famous, kissing, pet names
feedback is encouraged and i'd love to get some just please be kind!!!
You’re sitting around Lucy’s round dinner table, plates dirty but yet to be cleaned up. The table is filled with friends, clockwise it goes: Lucy, Naomi, you, Katie, Jo, Phoebe, and Julien. Across you was Julien, who was sipping on her lemonade. Your eyes couldn’t help but linger on her, even when she wasn’t speaking. You knew it was wrong, she wasn’t yours, you weren’t hers. But your heart was confused, and you always did want what you couldn’t have.
The conversation around you was lively, you could distinctly hear Phoebe’s howls over a joke Katie told. But you honestly couldn’t be bothered to listen. Your mind replays a moment you and Julien shared earlier in the day.
It had been early, the clock read 6:00 A.M. as you turned to the left side of the bed. Face to face with the woman who kept your heart pumping. You smiled at her as she lifted a hand to your face. You felt sparks fly as her gentle fingers brushed over your cheek. “Good morning darling,” she spoke, hand moving across your waist, pulling your body into hers.
“‘Morning Jules,” you yawned. “How’d you sleep?”
She smiled lazily, rubbing circles onto your hips “Good, especially since you were here.”
Her comment struck you wrong, reminded you that this was all a charade, that it meant nothing to her (or so you thought) “Don’t.”
Julien furrowed her brow, “Don’t what?”
You started to pull from her “Jules c’mon! Don’t say stuff like that!”
“What do you mean?”
You sighed frustratedly, “Like couplely stuff!” You threw your hands in the air, then fell back down to the bed with a slap, “We’re not together, you make that abundantly clear when we’re with our friends!” Julien’s face dropped at that, your words hurt for a reason you didn’t know yet.
“(Y/N) wait!” Julien went to grab your arms as you slid out of bed.
“Julien, please don’t. Just let me leave. It's nice until morning right?” You sigh, tired of this constant pain of never being feeling like you were enough.
You began to get up to collect your things and leave while Julien did nothing to stop you. You walked to where your jacket sat on the back of a chair, and pulled on your Converse. You located your phone and key. You were ready to walk out the door until you heard your name.
You turned around to spot Julien making her way to you. “Wait, just a minute, please?” Her eyes pleading. You gave in, just standing in her presence waiting for her to do something- do anything. You had spent months waiting for her to do something, something to convince you that these feelings you held for her were okay, that maybe they could be reciprocated.
Julien simply stood, staring into your eyes, as if taking in every engravement in your irises, surely she had to have seen the way your pupils dilated around her? How your cheeks flushed at the mention of her name. She leaned in, hand on your cheek and pulled you in for a kiss. It left you breathless and when you pulled away you immediately left.
Your mind was warped with questions.
Your mind was full of questions, memories of Julien’s hands on you, the way her lips felt-
You finally came back to reality after you felt Phoebe kicking your leg under the table. “Earth to (Y/N)?”
You shook your head, turning to face the platinum blond “Hmm?”
“Thought we lost you there for a few minutes,” Phoebe playful punched your shoulder. As you glanced around the table you realized everyone was staring at you. Your cheeks flushed as you grabbed your drink, sticking the straw in your mouth and chewing slightly. You noticed Julien staring at you, her eyebrow turned upwards.
“What were you thinking about babe?” Katie asked, smiling at you.
You started to reply, “Nothing-”
Until you were cut off by Phoebe again, “OMG!!! Or who were you thinking about!”
With that, your eyes widened and you furiously shook your head, “Nobody! I was just zoning out!”
Lucy chimed in, “Honey, we all see the way you’ve been glowing recently!! Did you find someone?”
Jo interjected, “You have to tell us who's the lucky lady!”
“There’s no lucky lady! I just zoned out!” You looked across the table, unimpressed looks were on everyone’s faces, except Julien's. She stared at you again, like she had in the morning. Only this time it seemed like she wasn’t trying to read it, more like she was understanding you. You could tell when her brows unfurrowed and she tilted her head at you.
“Whatever you say,” Phoebe sighed. Then leaning towards you she whispered “I will find this person.” then she plastered the sweetest smile on her face.
You jokingly rolled your eyes at her before saying “Whatever you say Pheebs!” Once the normal conversation started up again you stood up, grabbed your plate, and walked around the table into the kitchen. You stood at the sink, rinsing the plates off with hot water.
You heard footsteps approach you from behind and say a plate placed on the counter next to the sink. You recognized the hand immediately and in an instant, you turned around, face to face with Julien. It seemed today that her thing was to stare at you in silence because for a minute no words were exchanged between the two of you.
Finally, after minutes of hesitation, you spoke, “Julien-”
“(Y/N)-” Julien had had the same idea as you. She motioned for you to continue speaking so speak is what you did.
“Julien, I don’t think I can keep doing this with you.”
The tattooed woman had not expected that from you, her face contorted into a look that you could only describe as horror as she frantically asked “What? Why? What-what do you mean?”
You sighed, “I can’t keep sneaking around with you, I can’t keep pretending that I don’t-” You trailed off, nervous to tell her how you truly felt.
“‘-That you don’t?” Julien asked, wanting to hear your full truth.
Finally, you mustered up the courage to just say it. “That I don’t have feelings for you. Because I do.”
Julien continued to look at you, the gears in her head racing a mile a minute.
You began to step away, ready to leave her standing in the kitchen when she grabbed your arm, pulled you close to her, and simply smiled before saying. “I feel the exact same way.”
“You do?”
“Mhm, I don’t want to keep it casual with you anymore. I want you, fully.” As Julien looked into your eyes now it almost seemed that her words conveyed that. Like she did see you fully see you truly.
And suddenly it was like you two were the only two in the whole world as you started to lean in towards her. The act was like muscle memory, your head tilted left, hers right. It was engraved into your brain. The only difference was that this time you were not blocked off by my tinted car windows, or a hotel door. The only thing that separated you from the outside world was a wall with a fairly large door cut out in it.
As your lips connected it felt different this time, the experience no longer felt foreign, it felt like home. Her lips were warm and velvety, and even though you had tasted them a thousand times, this kiss was different in a million ways. It was filled with vigor, passion, and a newfound sense of hope- like this was something that would stick, not something that would simply fade away.
Until you remembered the world was just a few steps away when a large gasp brought you to your senses. Julien and you turned around, face to face with Phoebe and Jo, who held huge grins on their faces.
As yours and Julien’s cheeks flushed Phoebe giggled and joked “Told you I’d find out who you were thinking of (Y/N)!” She and Jo ran back into the dining room, no doubt telling the whole room what they had just seen.
You turned to Julien and signed, “You think we can make a run for it?”
Julien's hands rubbed up and down your arms, soothing you. She leaned in for a quick peck and replied, “Not a chance.”
When you wake up before her, those are your favorite mornings bc she looks so cute when she’s asleep
She is always in the most dramatic position, arms flopped all over the place, or she is completely in starfish pose
When you can eventually lull her out of her sleep, you always spend an extra hour in each other’s arms, enjoying the peace
You enjoy the way the sun illuminates her features, making her look more ethereal (as if that’s even possible)
Her morning voice is a lot lower, usually because of the grogginess but you find it adorable, possibly calling it her tough guy voice
She may not admit it but she loves when you spend time tracing her tattoos with your fingers, finds it very soothing
Loves it when you both are free to cook breakfast together (i’m a firm believer that she doesn't do a lot of the cooking, just puts on the coffee and keeps you company, or will scramble the eggs if anything)
Lazy mornings are her favorite because that usually means neither of you have to put on adult clothes just yet, she thinks you look so cute in her shirts and a pair of boxers
Mornings with Pheebs
I like to think that Phoebe would be a stomach sleeper, but she will be asleep with her face buried in your chest
So if you have to pee, you risk holding it for a while or waking her up
Always has a part of her body touching a part of yours (hands on your arm, fingers gripping your thighs, etc)
Would sacrifice her first born if it meant you didn’t have to get out of bed for the day
She loves to wake up to see your face, eager to see your eyes looking into hers already
She’ll lean over and leave tiny kisses all over your face before pulling you in for a long kiss
“I’ll give you a dollar to put the coffee on…. perhaps two?”
Absolutely loves morning sex, she can’t think of a better way to start her day off with you
She’s going to take her sweet time worshiping your body in the morning sunshine
Mornings with Lucy
She is up before you most days, loving to watch you in peace
She loves to run her fingers up and down your back, watching you snuggle into her side
She loves to dote on you in the mornings, getting your juice for you, toasting a bagel for you
On the weekends, she will try her best to get you up early to go to the farmers market together; “c’mon babe, i don’t want all the good stuff to be gone so fast”
She likes to shower with you in the mornings, taking her time- washing your hair, scrubbing your body with her fave body wash, warming up a towel for you in the dryer so you are content the whole time
You can’t help but admire how thoughtful and careful she is with you, truly enjoying her presence
You like to help her get ready as well, helping her pick out clothes to match yours, helping her with her hair
On the other hand, you will try to distract her as much as possible by lingering behind her, running your hands up and down her back, kissing her neck-anything to help her come back to bed and enjoy each other just a few minutes more
if you posted 8 million sickfics I'd name my firstborn after you they are my all time fav of any fanfiction EVER especially as a girly with a bad immune system (I've had covid 6 times even tho im vaccinated for it)
This is so real of you I am the Same.
To be real only one of the 8 million is actually complete to the point of being postable (below the cut 😉) but mayhaps if it gets enough love I'll consider posting some of my favourite snippets from the others...
Tuesday
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
Julien’s in the kitchen washing dishes and dancing around to some Shania Twain song on her Bluetooth speaker when Mackenzie texts her.
Hey, new song for your consideration! This one’s heavy so I won’t even be a little upset if you’re not comfortable putting it on the album. Think it fits the vibe, though.
Julien taps into the attached file, titled, simply, “Tuesday.”
She presses play.
The demo is just Mackenzie’s soft voice backed by a quiet acoustic guitar, as most of the demos she’s sent have been, and Julien pauses her work as the first verse begins, giving the song her full attention.
It’s sweet. At first it’s a song about falling in love, about being grateful for those who choose to love you in return, and Julien smiles softly as she thinks about Mariah. Her mind drifts briefly to Lucy, though she shakes the thought before she has a reason to feel guilty.
The chorus hits like a gut punch. “Now I wish that I hadn’t stepped down and lied,” Mackenzie croons, and Julien sucks in a deep breath. She grips the counter behind her to steady herself, a little dizzy with how blunt her friend’s words are. They hit like daggers as Julien psyche drudges up memories of her teenage self, trying desperately not to read into the feelings she had towards her female friends. By the time the second verse starts, she’s already fighting back tears.
Of course, verse two is somehow even more raw. It feels like Mackenzie is inside of fourteen-year-old Julien’s brain, and the emotional lyrics make Julien’s chest ache. Mackenzie continues, “instead of backing me up, Tuesday melted right down,” and Julien lets out a small whimper as her stomach clenches, because that was her. She was the one begging her girlfriend to lie to her parents.
Mackenzie says, “to emphasize how much I loved Jesus and men,” and Julien feels sick.
She grips the counter behind her with one trembling hand as the second chorus starts, the other coming up to press against her mouth as she tries to process the words she’s hearing. Bile sprays into her throat as she realizes that what Mackenzie’s recounting is a suicide attempt, and she shudders, half-gagging into her palm at a line about ‘paper-thin’ skin.
Tears track steadily down Julien’s cheeks as she listens. Part of her is upset that her friend went through something so awful. Part of her is horrified and disgusted at the possibility that she’d ever caused pain like this.
Oh, God, what if she’s someone’s Tuesday?
Her fist flies up to her head and knocks harshly, and as the verse comes to a close Julien spins, grips the edge of the sink not currently full of soapy dishwater, and throws up. The sound of it splattering into metal rings in her ears in time with Mackenzie’s voice starting in on the next verse.
“Oh, my God,” Mariah rounds the corner at a jog, and Julien is silently grateful that the next line is drowned out. “Did you just throw up?”
Julien can’t bring herself to meet her girlfriend’s concerned eyes, so she reaches for her phone with violently shaking hands instead, and pauses the demo just in time to hear the word ‘shame’.
Mariah seems worried and confused as she washes Julien’s vomit down the sink, and Julien soon finds herself being pulled close, Mariah running a hand through her hair and asking, “what happened, JB?”
Julien swallows against the lump still sticking in her throat, and croaks out an astonished, “Mackenzie’s a fucking good songwriter”.
It’s another week before she can convince herself to listen to the song again, and this time she makes it all the way to the end. She cackles at the last line - telling Tuesday’s mom to ‘go suck an egg’ - and shoots Mackenzie a text.
We have to put this on the album.
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
Inspired by this moment from the JBTorres virtual listening party last April:
I am currently plagued by a stomach bug so I did the logical thing and projected my feelings onto boygenius
mild tw for emetophobia
Headcanons below the cut :)
How I think they'd each act when the others are sick + how I think they'd act when sick themselves:
Phoebe:
if Lucy or Julien are sick, Phoebe is right by their side through the whole thing
probably with wayyyy more meds than necessary
she fusses in a way that’s sweet but a little overbearing: “are you sure you’re warm enough? I can get you another blanket. Or two. Or three. How about I just bring them all?” and “Let me just check your temperature again. I know you already took the Tylenol, but what if it hasn’t come down? I feel like if your temperature doesn’t come down with Tylenol, you’re supposed to go to the hospital or something.”
she’s somehow a clingy caregiver
however, the second that there’s even a chance someone might be vomiting?
she’s as far away as humanly possible as fast as humanly possible
big emetophobe vibes
she has definitely called Lucy mid-panic attack like “Julien threw up and I think she’s fine but I need you to come home because I can’t breathe”
and being stuck on the tour bus overnight with a concussed Lucy was basically her worst nightmare
it’s not even that she’s scared she’ll get sick, it’s just that another person’s vomit is the biggest sensory ick on the planet
but once it’s over she’s right there to reassure them that she still loves them and she’s sorry they aren’t feeling well
if Phoebe is clingy when she’s caring for the others, it’s nothing compared to how she is when she’s the one who’s sick
she will tuck herself into Lucy or Julien’s laps and say, “I don’t feel good,” more times than they can count
she also just gets really pouty and whiny
within a day of getting sick she will take over the entire living room with tissues and a blanket nest and various meds and thermometers and probably a trash can “just in case”
she’s also throwing the used tissues halfheartedly at the trash can and not bothering to pick them up when she misses
Phoebe only ever naps when she's sick
I can see her being the type of person to take medical advice from Tiktok, but only half remember it and then refuse to look it up to fact-check
she also seems like someone who would drag it out, and a simple cold can mean not leaving the house for a week
basically, she takes being sick as an opportunity to be babied
however, if she has a show to play? That shit is getting done, no matter how sick she feels (case in point: shitting herself onstage because of food poisoning once, and having a trash can in the wings just in case she needed to vomit another time)
Phoebe's "I don't feel good" pout / going to Julien for cuddles and to mumble about how gross she feels:
Julien:
Julien basically has a “sick person checklist" in her brain that she follows whenever the others are sick
like she’s gonna make one trip to the pharmacy + grocery store and come back with absolutely everything they could possibly need
including ingredients to make homemade soup
she’s going to make sure that whoever’s sick keeps their food and fluid intake up
she also double and triple checks everything - thermometer batteries, med schedules, the most effective way to treat each and every symptom…
she’s also very realistic about what is going to go away on its own in a couple days and what is hospital-worthy
she might still panic a little if someone starts throwing up (mostly because there’s really nothing she can do or say that will make it feel better) but even then, she’s prepared
because Julien is the type of person to have a stack of hospital-grade emesis bags stashed away in the back corner of some closet (it’s the acid reflux)
and at night she’ll do the whole glow-stick-in-a-trash-can hack to make sure nobody makes a mess
she takes cleaning duties very seriously - both in the aftermath of someone throwing up and with germs in general
as soon as a person starts to feel better, things are getting sanitized
she’s not always the best at empathizing - a lot of her script is just, “I’m sorry”
but she’s going to make sure they have what they need at any hour of the day or night.
and physical touch is absolutely her love language
like she has definitely toted around a sick, sleepy Phoebe in a piggyback before
and she’ll drop 100 kisses to Lucy’s forehead no matter how high her fever is
Julien just genuinely loves taking care of her boys
but when she’s the one who’s sick?
she refuses to even acknowledge it until she runs herself to the ground
case in point: trying to return to the stage after fully throwing up at Webster Hall
first of all, she has the worst immune system of the three, so if either of the others are sick, Julien is pretty much guaranteed to catch whatever they have
second, she has an uncanny ability to make a little cold into something that leaves her bed-ridden for a solid week and a half just because she didn’t want to accept that she was sick.
like she’ll try to push through a sore throat and end up losing her voice completely
or she’ll make herself physically sick before she bothers to take a break from whatever’s stressing her out
part of it comes from feeling like a burden if she asks for help
part of it is a lack of interoception leading to a genuine struggle to realize that she’s starting to feel sick until it’s too late
for example, despite her stash of emesis bags, she’s the king of thinking she doesn't need one until it's too late and she's already throwing up on the floor or in bed or on herself
vomiting inevitably makes her panic about making a mess and try to apologize, which usually has Lucy and Phoebe gently reassuring her that it’s okay, they’re not mad
being sick also brings out her mean streak
she’ll get upset about feeling weak and try to tell Lucy or Phoebe that she doesn’t need their help, but it comes out as “I don’t want you here, leave me alone”
which Phoebe will react to with something equally snarky, and Lucy will shut down with an arch of her eyebrow and a “that’s not very kind”
but if she’s really feeling awful, Julien seeks them out for cuddles
she’s known to tuck herself into either of the other's side and bury her face in their neck, because she feels the most safe when she’s being held by them
skin-to-skin to bring a fever down is peak no matter who is sick, in Julien’s opinion.
The exact way Julien tucks herself into Lucy when she finally admits that she's sick:
Lucy:
Lucy’s a very involved caregiver
she’ll sit and read to whoever is sick, make them cups of tea and chicken soup, and of course come up with an elaborate way of keeping track of which meds they can take and when
she’s also very good at tailoring her caregiving to whoever is sick
if it’s Phoebe, she’ll sit and snuggle her for as long as Phoebe wants, and if she needs to get up to do something, she’ll leave a bell so Phoebe can call for her
Phoebe also thrives on verbal reassurance and words of comfort, so Lucy makes an effort to coo over how miserable she looks and how uncomfortable she must feel
if it’s Julien, Lucy’s settling herself in the same room because Julien will try to get up and do things unless Lucy jumps in to do it for her
Lucy has also discovered that some gentle empathy paired with an offer of tangible help is the most effective in dealing with Julien’s stubbornness
she knows that Phoebe wants to feel cared for, and Julien wants to feel capable of caring for herself. Phoebe wants to give up control, Julien very much does not.
either way, whoever is sick feels very cared for and loved by Lucy
Lucy has the best immune system of all of them, so she doesn't get sick very often and recovers quickly when she does
when she does come down with something, she accepts that she’s sick with little fuss and doesn’t make a big deal out of feeling under the weather
where Phoebe will complain until someone gets her what she needs and Julien will try to get it herself, Lucy doesn’t hesitate to ask for help when she needs it
this extends to like, bringing her another cup of tea, or a fresh box of Kleenex, or a bucket if she’s really feeling awful
but for the most part, she’s perfectly happy to spend a couple of days curled up in bed with a book and a mug of tea, and won’t ask for anything she’s genuinely capable of handling herself
for example, she’s organizing her own meds schedule and probably managing to haul herself to the kitchen for cheese and crackers or a bowl of soup every now and then
she’ll even clean up after herself if she has a stomach bug - though she’ll probably call Julien in for cuddles in the aftermath
plus, Lucy prides herself on never having thrown up anywhere other than a toilet, trash can, bowl, or bag, so it’s not like there’s ever much to clean up
just like Julien, it’s when she’s really not feeling well that her clingy side comes out
fevers are the absolute pinnacle of discomfort to Lucy, and her favourite thing is when someone sits with her and gently rubs a cool cloth over her forehead and cheeks and across the back of her neck.
she likes being read to when she's sick, too, and will fall asleep with her head in Julien's lap given the opportunity
The slump that says she really doesn't feel well / the "I just threw up again, please come cuddle me" selfie she sends to Julien:
on the not-so-odd occasion that they're all sick at the same time, Lucy generally tries to take care of herself as well as she can in order to take the best care of her boys
Julien and Phoebe can easily get on each others' nerves but as soon as Lucy admits to not feeling well they're both doting on her too much to care how gross the other one is being
they often end up either cuddled together in bed, or sprawled across opposite ends of the living room and tossing bottles of cold meds + boxes of Kleenex to one another because none of them want to get up
in all, they're really good at taking care of each other in the ways that count
“I think, for me, this is more than just playful experimentation. The term boy feels right, even outside of the group dynamic. I don’t know exactly what that means yet, but I… I don’t think I’m cis.”
