Heyy, it’s so sweet that you let us send you our stories, you are amazing, thank you so much!! I wrote this one a while ago, I hope you will like it!
I really don’t want Ilya to suffer but unfortunately he always ends up doing exactly that in my stories. Only because I know Shane will take care of him though ;)
3 times Shane Hollander was Ilya’s safe space
First time
Shane almost zoned out while listening to the questions different interviewers threw at them. Rozanov next to him was playing with the cross hanging from his neck. He put it against his lips in a stupidly distracting manner and twirled it between his fingers. Shane clenched his teeth.
The Russian man smelled like a mix of cigarettes and sweat and it made Shane think dangerous things, like how he wanted to taste the nicotine still on those lips.
He at least pretended to be remotely interested in the questions, even though he was exhausted after the game.
Montreal had almost lost the game today with Rozanov giving them a hard time on the ice. He was somehow everywhere all at once and yet impossible to intercept once he had the puck. Shane had to double down on his game to keep up.
In return, Shane ordered his teammates to give Rozanov as hard of a time as they could. Focusing on Boston’s star player had earned them their victory in the end. Shane understood why the man next to him wasn’t as sharp as usual during the press interview.
Boston’s coach had even send Cliff Marleau with him, who was currently answering some vague question about teamwork and Boston’s group atmosphere.
Shane couldn’t wait to be back at his hotel, take a nice shower and preferably wait for the hockey player next to him to knock on his door. It had been months sinds they last saw each other. Having Ilya so close to him without being able to even shoot him a knowing smile, was slowly killing him.
Suddenly Rozanov shot up and leaned sharply to his side, angling his whole body slightly towards Shane. He turned away from the camera, ducked his face barely visible towards Shane’s shoulder, using the other man’s body as a living shield.
At first Shane had no clue what the other player was doing, but then he heard a soft, breathless noise, accompanied with the tiny dips of Rozanov’s blond curls. He realized his rival was sneezing. Practically silent.
“HhNgxt, Hhm’pxt, NtGxt’
A strange fluttery feeling filled Shane’s insides. Ilya was seated between Marleau and the man he was supposed to hate. And yet, in a moment of desperate vulnerability, he had instinctively turned towards Shane.
He trusted Shane to have his back, to protect him from prying eyes. He felt safe enough be gross with Shane rather than with his own teammate. Shane hadn’t even thought they considered themselves friends up until this point.
He didn’t care about germs or anything right now, he felt sort of honoured, special maybe. Shane had never witnessed the rival captain sneeze before, or lose control in any way, for that matter.
“hhKtsh, Nt’shh, Hehxpt’shew’
It sounded painful. And more importantly it didn’t seem to end. Shane pushed down the overwhelming urge to rub Ilya’s back in a soothing manner and instead let his arm hover somewhere in front of Rozanov’s shoulder.
Under the table Shane placed one steady hand on Ilya’s knee as the young man curled further in on himself. He rubbed comforting circles with his thumb against the other man’s jeans.
All of it was over remarkably quickly, despite Ilya having sneezed at least fifteen times in a row. Shane had no idea how he even breathed.
Shane had to bite his tongue to keep him from saying “bless you”. He knew that Rozanov wouldn’t want his little display of weakness to be acknowledged.
And indeed when Rozanov straightened back up, he nonchalantly pretend to have been looking for something under table. A faint blush crept high upon in his cheeks in embarrassment, while he subtly blinked tears out of his eyes
Shane tried to catch Ilya’s gaze to make sure that the other hockey player was alright, but Rozanov’s eyes never met his. In the end, the journalist beat him to it.
‘Are you alright, Mr. Rozanov?’
‘Yes, I thought I saw something’, Rozanov lied effortlessly and quite badly too. He gestured somewhat vaguely in the direction of the table and seemed to realize how strange his excuse sounded, because his shoulders shrunk imperceptibly. Shane noticed though.
He turned to Ilya and forced a playful grin to take over from him. Trying to lighten the mood with humour was something Shane had learned from the very best.
‘You were definitely trying to tie my shoe laces together and trip me’
Ilya huffed out a laugh, but it sounded more like a sigh of relief to Shane. Ilya was fully gazing at him now, his nose was pink and his complexion was unnaturally pale. Oh. He was sick wasn’t he? Shane still refused to feel bad for challenging Ilya on the ice today.
‘Oh I don’t need to tie your laces for you to get on your knees for me, Hollander’
Shane made a disgusted face while the press laughed heartily at the rude Russian.
Shane tapped Ilya’s foot under the table, and Ilya returned the gesture, assuring Shane that he was alright.
———
Second time
Ilya Rozanov’s favourite place was in Shane Hollander’s arms. He was Boston’s notorious party animal, thriving under the rainbow coloured lights at the clubs, the terrible vodka and beautiful girls. He used to stay up all night and get lost in the loud music, the busy crowds. It was better than being alone.
But Ilya Rozanov wasn’t alone anymore, and that meant that he had better things to do than waste his precious evenings. Shane wasn’t in Ottawa very often and when he was, Ilya was with him.
Ilya had done his best to clean his house, knowing that Shane would already be tired and overstimulated from a long day of traveling. Ilya on his own didn’t mind throwing laundry mindlessly on the floor or leaving dirty dishes in the sink for a while. Ilya with Shane was better in every way.
He let the warmth of Shane’s skin that radiated through his shirt comfort him. Shane was home. It would be alright. Shane pulled away gently from the hug and his eyes unconsciously wandered to his boyfriend’s lips.
‘How was training today?’
Ilya’s lips turned upwards at the corners. Shane was the most earnest person he knew but he was truly a terrible actor. He was nothing if not polite, going into every social interaction by the book, but he could never fool Ilya. Shane was dying to kiss him after weeks of missing each other.
Ilya liked Shane’s hunger for him, not only because he pretty much felt the same, but also because he didn’t want to lie to him. He only briefly opted for telling Shane that he didn’t go to practice today.
It was Ilya’s own fault honestly. He had known that Ottawa’s team doctor would send him home and he still let himself get caught. A better captain would grit his teeth and continue playing.
It was only that he was in so much pain and it didn’t let up after weeks, like it normally would. That was why he started to slack.
Ilya had been diagnosed with a sinus infection and forced to take antibiotics every day. It wasn’t big enough of a deal to bother Shane with it though. The last thing Ilya wanted was to feel more guilty than he already did after letting his team down.
Ilya leaned in to kiss Shane on the cheek. He was fighting an internal battle about inevitably giving Shane his cold or refraining from kissing him altogether.
Shane didn’t notice Ilya uneasiness and grinned delighted as Ilya held his hand and pulled him along to push him unto the sofa in the living room. Shane held himself up on his elbows and blinked up at his boyfriend trough half-lidded eyes.
‘I missed you so much’
At this point Ilya definitely would have kissed Shane and it would be suspicious if he didn’t. Nervously licking his lips, he pushed both his hands in Shane’s hair. Shane cupped his cheeks with one hand and before Ilya could tell him to stop, Anya barked outside in the garden.
Saved by the dog, Ilya shot up and nearly ran trough the door, grabbing a dark pair of sunglasses as he passed by. He opened his back door and kneeled lovingly in front of his favourite daughter.
‘Do you want to say hi to Shane?’, he cooed in a low voice. He didn’t want Shane to hear the congestion in his every nasal consonant.
Shane followed Ilya in his footsteps and crouched next to his boyfriend.
Anya immediately jumped on her second favourite human’s lap, causing Shane to yelp surprised while he almost toppled over. He buried his fingers in her soft fur and kissed the top of her head.
‘Hello, beautiful. Has Ilya been taking good care of you? Yes, of course he has’
Golden rays of sun lit up Shane’s black hair and turned it a dark brown instead. Ilya stared at the light for a second before it became too bright and a telltale burning sensation snaked it’s way high into his sensitive nostrils.
Ilya swiftly slammed the sunglasses onto his nose while he kept his head bowed to block out the light and concentrate on getting the tickle to leave him alone. He hated that being in the sun elicited such a dramatic reaction from him every time. But his crystal blue eyes disliked being brutally blinded and insisted on falling shut, no matter what.
As soon as Ilya was certain that the sneezes had successfully backed off, he shook his head frustratedly and straightened up to find Shane staring oddly at him.
‘Nice glasses’, Shane remarked teasingly but a small frown creased his forehead, as if he was trying to figure something out. Ilya let Anya inside the living room and threw the glasses back on the table.
‘I need them because your looks are so blinding’, Ilya nonchalantly tried to play his odd behaviour off, cringing at the amount of stuffiness seeping into his voice.
‘They are new, I needed to test them. They work, so is good’
Ilya knew that he could unapologetically be himself with Shane, but no matter what his boyfriend said, no professional hockey player would like someone sniffling all over them during hockey season.
On top of that, Ilya never sneezed just once, not even five times. It would be germs times twenty or something with how wet his natural sneezes were. He’d gotten very good at keeping them silent though in Russia. Only with this cold, the continuous stifling had taken a nasty toll on him.
Svetlana warned him about not sneezing properly all the time and he usually discarded her unnecessary worrying.
The problem was that repeatedly crushing his sneezes while all they wanted was to break free, was exactly what had given Ilya his sinus infection in the first place.
Only, Ilya had been on the road with The Ottawa Centaurs the entire duration of his cold and he really did not want to attract any negative attention. So keeping his sneezes quiet and unnoticeable was his number one priority. Now all of that was out of the question, the team doctor forbade him to do so.
Shane didn’t easily buy Ilya’s nonsense but then again he was used to his husband’s antics. And he had other things on his mind.
He pinned both Ilya’s wrists behind his back and hummed appreciatively as he watched Ilya’s Adam’s apple bob.
‘There is more to me than my looks, you know’, Shane murmured low in his throat and Ilya’s breath sped up. However, all of the sudden, Ilya ducked underneath Shane’s outstretched arms and ruffled his black hair affectionately.
‘Do you want to watch movie together?’, Ilya asked, already on his way to the television. It made Shane pause, confused, because that was weird. Ilya would ever let an opportunity pass to melt into Shane’s affections and claim him as his. Especially not after such a long time of going without each other.
But if Ilya wasn’t in the mood, Shane would never ever push him. Maybe he should tamp down his suggestive gestures a bit. He just hoped his boyfriend was alright.
——
Ilya knew all Shane’s favourite movies by heart. Shane hated watching new things and rather went back to what he knew he would like. So, this time they restarted the complete Star Wars series for the third time and Ilya knew exactly which commentary Shane would give during which scene.
Looking at the screen though, made the pounding ache in Ilya’s head only worse. He sniffled quietly into his sleeve where his chin rested on top of Shane’s leg. Ilya felt gradually more tired as the movie continued.
Everything hurt and yet he was so relaxed that it wasn’t very weird when he eventually fell asleep on Shane’s lap.
The next time Ilya opened his eyes, he was glad to be feeling a little bit better. Unfortunately, luck wasn’t on Ilya’s side today because he soon found out exactly why he had woken up.
It was a terrible mistake to sniffle even once because nose still desperately needed to get some of that irritation out. He could almost hear his abused sinuses begging for some relief.
He was too slow to stop it. Before he knew it, Ilya almost sneezed, really sneezed; his eyes closed, lungs expanding:
“HehTc-“
But then the prospect alone of the unbearable pain sneezing would cause him, made the tickle abruptly disappear. Ilya swallowed the sneeze with an embarrassingly audible hitch and quickly covered it up by clearing his throat. Only, that resulted into an actual coughing fit.
‘Went down wrong hole’, Ilya croaked out, rubbing faintly at his chest. His nose was running now, and his eyes were annoyingly watery.
‘The wrong pipe, Ilya’, Shane sighed amused while he threw a pack of tissues right into his lap. Ilya blinked innocently back at him from behind his tissue. He was sure that Shane saw right through him then and there but the raven haired man already went back to watching the movie.
——
For dinner, Ilya was happy to cook for Shane while he sat back at the dinner table and watched him with his head on his hands. Ilya had stopped wearing a shirt a while ago, it was way too hot in the kitchen with all the vegetables steaming.
Ilya was well aware that Shane liked his food much more spicy than he did. He loved caring for his boyfriend during the few times they could dine together, so he wasn’t one to hold back on all different kinds of spices.
Today, however, Ilya tried to be sneaky and “accidentally forget” to put in almost all spices except for salt. He felt awful for purposefully messing up Shane’s dinner only so he could spare his own nose a little bit.
When Ilya put the lid on the pot, he met Shane’s warm brown eyes across the kitchen table and Ilya’s heart spasmed uncomfortably, warning him that it might break if he kept this up.
And honestly, what was a bit of pain in comparison to lying to the love of his life. Ilya managed a small smile as he reopened their small spice cabinet.
‘Almost forgot you have much better taste than me’, Ilya winked at Shane who huffed fondly at him, and then pretended to blow him a kiss while he watched how Ilya took the pepper and added much needed flavour to their dinner.
And if Ilya had to tamp down his breath hitching dangerously by biting hard on his tongue and subtly pinching at his nose, so be it. He wasn’t going to sneeze on Shane’s food for the love of god.
——
Shane was perched up against the headboard of their bed, reading his book and looking beautiful in his reading glasses. The setting sun cast the whole room in a golden glow.
As if he could feel Ilya staring at him, Shane closed his book and pushed himself towards the edge of the bed. Ilya was leaning against the door frame and smirked at Shane approaching him.
‘What are you smiling at?’, Shane drawled playfully.
‘You are literally Canada’s golden boy now’, Ilya admitted softly and was rewarded by a rosy blush highlighting Shane’s freckles. Shane moved steadily closer to him then, and Ilya didn’t have the heart to fight him. Maybe one kiss wouldn’t hurt.
Everything went well and Ilya quickly forgot his guilt. He savoured Shane’s sweet lips as if he had forgotten how he tasted. That was until Shane angled his head to the other side, his nose bumping against Ilya’s.
Without warning, the tickle in Ilya’s nasal passages exploded and he jerked head back, still gripping onto Shane’s shirt. Ilya was powerless to stop it and he fought to keep his lips closed.
An unfortunate side effect of his stuffed up nose was that now Ilya couldn’t breath anymore, although he really wanted to. Even the thought of getting a proper breath of air was nearly enough to push him over the edge of a sneeze. But Ilya had iron willpower.
After a few moments though, he started feeling lightheaded and stumbled slightly backwards. Shane’s eyes widened in concern while his hand shot out to support Ilya’s elbow.
‘What’s wrong?!’, Shane’s voice broke on the last vowel and he swallowed against the panic rising in his chest. Shane studied his boyfriend’s face to find any signs of a heart attack or something else drastically wrong with him.
Shane took in Ilya’s flushed cheeks and red nose and suddenly all the sniffling, the coughing, Ilya’s weird aversion to kissing him made sense. How hadn’t he caught up with it earlier? If Ilya was this sick now, he must have been for quite a while already.
Ilya felt something squeeze his arm comfortingly and Shane looked at him so lovingly and so worried, that Ilya almost sobbed.
Then, before he registered it, the sneeze was there. And he was standing way too close to Shane as it escaped him. Ilya’s head involuntarily dipped forward and in a last panicked attempt to preserve his dignity, he pinched his painful nose shut, knowing he shouldn’t, to keep the germs inside.
“Hmtp’ngxt”
Ilya’s sinuses feel like they would explode from the bottled up power. It hurt more than he could take and he barely even registered a low whine following the tiny sneeze. It probably came from him.
After that, everything went black but Ilya still felt Shane’s arms holding him up. And he was glad; he did well if Shane still cared so much. That alone was worth all the pain.
——
When Ilya came to, he felt strangely peaceful for a while. Everything was dark, it was blissfully quiet and he wasn’t conscious enough yet to register any discomfort he might normally be feeling. He had no idea where he was or who he was with, but he felt completely at ease. Enough for a hopeful tingle to take advantage of his weakened resistance.
It started high in his sinuses, almost behind his eyes, but spread dangerously close to his nose. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Ilya remembered that he didn’t want this.
He lifted a trembling hand towards his face and pushed it weakly up against his nose. Ilya was relieved to find that it caused him less pain than he was used to. Unfortunately, it also lacked the same power to scare off the feathery sensation dancing through the insides of his nose.
In a hazy attempt to recreate the same kind of distraction, Ilya dug his nails into the palm of his left hand. He would love to take a longer nap at the moment. He felt noticeably less exhausted than before, but his whole body felt unbearably wrong.
The bed underneath Ilya dipped as something solid touched his shoulder. Ilya used whatever strength he could muster to blink his eyes open and to find Shane smiling at him.
‘Welcome back’, his boyfriend whispered, thankfully, but his posture was stiff and his eyes were watery enough to reflect the sunlight still coming in through the window. He hadn’t been out for long then.
Ilya pressed his nails harder against his skin. The pain reduced the sun-loving tickle to a dull itch and Ilya finally dared to breath again.
‘I was really worried’, Shane mumbled sadly and Ilya wished he could comfort his boyfriend like he was supposed to. His brain wouldn’t cooperate however, as it could only focus on one thing, and that was not repeating the incident that scared Shane in the first place.
Shane, always so very perceptible, read the overwhelming regret on the Russian’s face and reached for Ilya’s hand to tell him it was alright. Shane made a move to intertwine their fingers, gently opening up the other’s hand.
A surge of panic flashed white hot through Ilya’s sedated mind. His nails were the only thing keeping his body in check. Shane next to him gasped almost inaudibly.
Ilya wrenched his wrist out of Shane’s grip and went back to hurting himself a bit harder this time, scrunching his nose desperately to get rid of the building irritation.
‘You’re bleeding’, Shane’s voice broke off sharply, forcing Ilya’s fist to open again.
Suddenly, Ilya wished he was anywhere else but with Shane. Were he alone, he would have just sneezed, probably louder than he ever had, until the stupid cold left his body and then fall asleep from the exhaustion. But in front of the one person he cared for most in the world, he would never allow himself to.
Shane was kissed his hand now, his lips soft and loving, and Ilya knew he deserved better. Tears welled up in his ocean blue eyes, which was a huge mistake. The prickling of the tears immediately shot straight to Ilya’s nose and he clamped his mouth shut again before his breath could hitch urgently.
Shane instantly caught Ilya’s panic and he cupped Ilya’s cheeks in his hands.
‘What’s wrong, baby?’
Ilya almost lost it at the pet name, but he would rather chop his own head off than push Shane away now that they had come so far. He would never talk so lovingly to him, if he knew how gross Ilya truly was. His father always warned him about how tired people would grow of his disgusting sneezing fits.
Ilya’s other fist pressed fiercely against his flaring nostrils, this time it did hurt.
Understanding shot through Shane’s worried eyes and he swiftly got up and walked away. Ilya wanted to call him back, apologize for being difficult, maybe ask Shane for a hug as soon as he fixed himself.
But it was too dangerous to open his mouth now. Luckily, he didn’t need to because Shane came back with a box of tissues. He plucked a few out of the box and placed them in Ilya’s non-bleeding hand.
Ilya fought to keep his eyes open while the tickle burned painfully towards the tip of his nose. He was losing the battle rapidly. Again.
‘Hey, it’s okay’, Shane soothed him, ‘I know it hurts, but you will feel so much better afterwards. I can hold you or go away, if that’s more comfortable?’
Ilya shook his head instinctively, he didn’t want Shane to leave. He wouldn’t sneeze, it would be fine.
Shane didn’t understand why his boyfriend was making such a big deal out of this. This obviously wasn’t a normal cold, he probably had a sinus infection if he was being honest. He had just fainted from holding in a sneeze, for heaven’s sake! They’d had this conversation more times than Shane could count, but Ilya wouldn’t be Ilya if he wasn’t perpetually stubborn.
‘It’s okay to sneeze Ilya, you know that’
With a shuddering breath, Ilya mumbled “наказание” under his breath.
Shane didn’t know much Russian, so it was a coincidence really that he recognized the word at all. Ilya had whispered it to him before in a playful, seductive manner when Shane had been teasing him in bed. It meant something along the lines of “punishment”.
Only now, Ilya didn’t seem to be joking at all. The colour drained from Shane’s face.
He had longer suspected that Ilya’s insistence on suppressing long, draining sneezing fits until he simply couldn’t breathe anymore had something to do with his strict upbringing. Hearing it said like this, though, made Shane’s blood boil with anger. If Ilya’s dad wasn’t already dead and burried, he’d murder the man.
Shane put his hands under Ilya’s armpits so he could hoist the other man up. He manoeuvred his boyfriend until he was practically sitting in his lap. Shane rested his forehead against Ilya’s and carded his hand trough his curls.
‘Listen to me, here’s what we are going to do: you are going to let yourself sneeze. Fully and freely. I want you to be gross for once and get as much of that stupid virus out of your system as you can. I want you to be so loud that you scare the cold right off, okay? I am here. I will be here, forever, do you get that? I want all of you’
Ilya was fully crying now, sobs rocking through him silently. The sneezes were successfully backing off and Shane couldn’t have that. So he leaned forward and kissed his boyfriend on the tip of his nose. Then he let Ilya’s head lean against his collarbone, feeling hitching breaths ripple through his frame.
Shane should have given him more tissues, maybe, but he didn’t care. He threaded his fingers trough Ilya’s curls, silently encouraging him. He didn’t know if Ilya would actually listen to him, but Shane was going to lose it, if his boyfriend started hurting himself again.
Shane was pleasantly surprised when Ilya actually listened to his advice. At first the sneezes were quite soft, like Ilya wasn’t used to letting them out and was still testing the waters.
“He’ktshew, hih’Tschue, Ach’chew’
However, once Ilya’s nose understood that it was getting what it needed, the sneezes became more enthusiastic. And loud. Really loud.
“HUH’ESHH, Heass’choo’
‘There we go’, Shane praised Ilya quietly, ‘You’re doing so great’
“TChew, HITSCH, ihhKSchew’
‘That feels good, right? That’s it, being so loud for me’
Shane was maybe enjoying this a bit too much. When Ilya seemed done, he kept his face buried in Shane’s chest and held out his hand in a simple request for more tissues. Tissues that Shane had already grabbed.
‘Bless you. Bless you. Bless you’, Shane said, kissing the top of Ilya’s head when he resurfaced. He looked miserable.
‘Sorry’
Shane pulled Ilya close and just held him while rubbing his back.
‘Nope. No sorry’
Ilya smirked weakly.
‘You liked that, da?’
Shane blushed and quickly changed the subject.
‘Tell me about your cold so that I can take care of you’
And that was the start of how Ilya stopped stifling around Shane.
———
Third time
It was the first time that Luca Haas shared a hotel room with the hockey husbands. He didn’t mind at all because he was used to rooming with Ilya even before his secret relationship got leaked on the internet.
At first, Luca had been nervous to have both his childhood idols on one team but he soon realized that Shane Hollander was the nicest person he’d ever met. Luca loved seeing their relationship flourish on and off the ice.
Right now Shane was sitting in front of Rozanov, trying to put some kind of curly cream in his hair. The captain kept pulling his head away, complaining about grease on his pillow when he slept.
‘You have to take care of your hair, Ilya. Or do you want to end up bald?’, Shane chastised his husband earnestly.
Ilya pouted and let Shane dote on him as much as he wanted to.
‘Some people like their partner even if they were worms but you would not even love me if I was bald’
Shane didn’t dignify that with a response and kept massaging Ilya’s scalp. He was almost done with the cream when Ilya dropped his head tentatively unto Shane’s shoulder. He hid his face there, as if Shane was the only thing that mattered in world.
Luca had seen Rozy do that before after a game or during training, but never so open as right now. Shane kept his hands steady on his husband’s back.
Luca could barely make out Shane murmuring a soft “bless you” into Rozanov’s curls. Luca waited to hear the signature small, painful sneezes Roz always let out when no one was watching.
Naturally, he almost got a heart attack when Ilya sneezed louder even than he normally did. This must have been the first time he did not try to make them silent.
“HuhZZzd’icheww, Huh’ISHZss, HEASSH’xchoo, uhhMPuhh’tschoo’
Luca was impressed; how did the man even hold all of that in normally. Shane blessed him tiredlessly after every sneeze but Rozy didn’t seem to mind because Shane clearly was Ilya’s non-stifle safe space.
Oh my GOD anon this was incredibly perfect!!! I absolutely adored every part of this! Them going from I/lya hiding behind S/hane so he can stifle to him sneezing loudly and openly was everything to me! The caretaking in the second part was definitely my favorite!!!! But i also really really loved all of them! (P3 is special to me because LUCA!!)
Thank you so much for blessing me and us with this fic, it was absolutely perfect!!! (And thank you for trusting me and my inbox haha) i absolutely cannot wait for the others to read it too!! (Also the sneeze sounds are really good!!)
