#another author asks

[wurzelbertzwerg]

For the fic writer ask game:

5, 9, 10, 17, 22 :)

Thank you! :)

5: What’s something you learned while researching a fic? So much. But it's hard to come up with something interesting, or at least weird in the funny way. Oh, but there's something I did research, for Stronger than we are specifically, and which so far, I think, nobody has really noticed. In part, becuase it's only an offhand mention in the fic, and I guess it's a very subtle hint towards a certain mystery, BUT:

I've always known that lavender is good against moths, but for reasons, I couldn't/didn't want to use that one, so I researched other natural moth repellants and both cedarwood and cloves, are, apparently, quite good to keep moths out of your closet.

9: How did you get into writing fanfiction? I've already answeres this one over here.

10: Is there a character or ship you'd love to write for, but haven't yet? <.< >.> ... James Morland/John Thorpe, albeit the fic I have planned and want to write is mostly one-sided, with John Thorpe being the one who's suffering an ultimately unrequited love. I blame EvilLittleWeasel on AO3 for that ship/plot-bunny!

17: What is something you recently felt proud of in your writing? I'll just go with the entirety of Writ in Water. Of course, I don't know if it had the same emotional impact for anyone it had for me, whether it had any emotional impact at all, but I, for one, was crying the whole time while writing it and even now, twenty four hours later, I'm still feeling... affected by it.

It's a very emotional fic, for me, and I think I managed to pour a lot of pain and despair into the lines, it's at least a feeling it evokes from /me/ and of that I'm proud, yes. As far as I'm concerned, this one hurts like hell.

22: Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic? No, but I probably should. Back before I got slightly, a little, minimally burnt out *cough* I had the habit of taking a break for a whole day after finishing anything. Just no writing whatsoever, preferably not even /thinking/ about writing.

But back then I was working on my fics everyday, so taking breaks was necessary. Now that I write a lot less (sadly) because I just can't bring myself to write, taking breaks feels pointless. It's not special, is it, if it's what I do most of the time anyway.

I should probably come up with something else, a little treat or anything, really, to combat that "post posting depression" because let's be honest here, I rarely feel as shitty as I do the first twenty four hours after posting something. But this is not the place to talk about that now, is it? No, it isn't. So to answer the question: Not right now. Hopefully, one day I'll be back to writing so much that my beloved/beloathed Päuschentag will once again be necessary and in the meantime I'll have to find another treat. Perhaps Matcha-latte with honey, or something similar tasty to drink. ( A glass wine, if I finish/post something later in the evening :D... Actually, I guess for Writ in Water I'll treat myself to a glass of blackberry wine, why not)

[wurzelbertzwerg]

Ahoi,

3, 20 for your modern James/Frederick series which I will count as one fic so you have options, and 30 please =)

Moin beloved ducky!

3: What are your top three most commonly used tags on AO3? Ehhhhhh... If I had to guess one of them is "Alternat Universe - Modern" :D But do let me look that up real quick.

Fluff (32) Alternate Universe - Modern Setting (26) Post-Canon (10)

Huh... Something is telling me that I should probably tag more. But eh, tagging is hard and ymmv etc... So I probably won't.

20: Share your favorite kiss scene from your modern James/Frederick series. If there's no kiss scene, share your favorite moment of intimacy (romantic or platonic) Oooooooooooh now THIS is a treat! Oh, I love this, I love thinking about them, I love the modern series, I love THEM, awwww, thanks for asking!

Also, there are so many kisses! As well as other moments of intimacy. I love them all, for different reasons and it probably should be hard to choose one, and I guess most people would guess my favourite is the Whisky kiss... But actually it's this one:

„Yes.“ James breathed the word more than he spoke it, but when he looked over his shoulder, offering his lips for a kiss, he smiled regardless. „Very okay, you fucking tease.“

From Nylon & Silk.

Yes, I know, technically it's not a proper kiss, only the offer for one, but we all know that this absolutely was followed by a kiss, the author just thought that this would be a neat point to end the fic. (I still think this is a fun ending, tyvm^^)

And this moment is just... hnnnnnng!!!! I'm loving it because James is so confident here! So comfortable! I mean, he is completely naked and getting tied up in that very moment, but he's even managing to be a little bit cocky! He's feeling 100% safe in that situation and I think it's beautiful and I had so much fun with it!

There's just so much here, not only is he completely relaxed, trusting Frederick completely, he's also very clearly expressing his needs, without being demanding about it. He'd like to be kissed, so he's offering his lips for a kiss, without shame, without a need to beg for a sign of affection, without apologising for it.

He's happy and confident and comfortable and he's feeling free to just /be/. To me, this kiss is peak James/Frederick as I'm writing it, contaning a lot of what makes this ship so appealing to me, this opportunity for James to be a little selfish, to put himself and his needs first, without apology or diplomacy, the knowledge that he can do that and that it's okay. (Not shown here is the room this relationship offers for Frederick to be vulnerable, but eh, can't have everything in two/three lines, now can I?^^)

It's a fun little kiss, very playful, but also very, very trusting and affectionate.

30: Have you noticed your style change over time? Yes, but I'm not sure I actually like it... Like, I can't really put a finger on it, but sometimes I feel as if I've grown only worse since writing Stronger.

I guess worse or not, it can't be helped either way, it is what it is, so I try not to think about it too hard, but yes, I guess looking at Stronger and, let's say, When All Words Fail, as one of the more recent ones, I think there is an apparent difference, stylistically. Again, I try not to think about it too hard, otherwise I'd probably stop writing entirely, paralysed by my own fears and insecurity.

What hasn't changed though is my habit of sticking very, very close to a given character. I tried stepping away a bit more but... It is what it is.

[wurzelbertzwerg]

How did you get into writing fanfiction?

... from the ask game.

Thank you for asking! That's... actually an interesting question because the short answer is probably: accidentally.

The slightly longer is that I'm one of those people who have always made up stories. Like I started age 5 or so and of course I had an imaginary friend, two, actually, but I also made up stories to expand on stories I enjoyed. (Adventures of the Gummy Bears comes to mind, or The Animals of Farthing Wood) and I just did that. With everything. All the time.

I just never really shared it with anyone, let alone write it down, except for the one time a former friend of mine dared me to, which resulted in my first fic (for One Piece) which no one will ever find... Because not even I manage to find it again xD

Well, I wrote that one, it went mostly ignored, which proved my poind to my friend, which was that I'm not really a good writer and people don't really care about the stories I could tell. (For something that happened roughly 20 years ago that's sounding awfully familiar but eh)

Fast forward to 2018, basically the same thing happened again, though this time it was @vaguelythreateningrubberducky who encouraged me to write something down and it mostly went ... the same again.

And then I became slightly obsessed with NA and did my yearly rewatch of Tanz der Vampire, as one does, and the fact that there wasn't a crossover was /unbearable/ and, once again, Ducky encouraged me to write it and share it, only this time I didn't give a fuck that it went mostly unnoticed in the beginning.

I mean, the other things were all one shots, so it was easier to leave again. Stronger was a /little/ longer, and by the time it was finished I had a dozen more ideas of things I could do. (And technically I haven't even done everything I want for Stronger yet) and thus I stuck around.

And of course, if we are completely honest, I had dreams of maybe becoming a BNF, someone who is well known and whose fics get recced to others, someone whose stories are considered a valuable part of the fandom amd who is a valued member of the community but... Eh. Let's just say I carry on regardless.

And I don't regret it, even if it's painful on some days, that I can't be the person I wished to be. By now I'd rather be myself and tell my stories, than be popular and only able to tell what will sell.

... I think I lost the thread of the question halfway through but I hope it answers it regardless!