#antagonistic royality

[incorrect-sanders-sides]

Patton: Why do you only call me Father, not Dad?

Roman: I call you Dad. I go through Dad, and Padre, and Father. It depends on the tone.

Roman: I call you Father when I'm mildly disappointed in you

Patton: *squints in suspicion* You've been calling me father a lot lately

Roman:

Patton:

Roman: *awkward finger guns*

[incorrect-sanders-sides]

Patton, frantically: There's a spider in your hair!

Roman: Then get it out!

Patton: *backs up* Are you kidding me?! I can't touch that thing!

[incorrect-sanders-sides]

Child!Roman: Patton, look, I’m melting butter!

Patton:: That’s great, Roman. You now have the cooking skills of a hot day.