When trying to explain axes of oppression to the cis people in my life, they say the same phrases trying to do everything they can to not learn while still feigning engagement. for a while i got used to reading when they’re overwhelmed by info and excusing myself before it gets ugly and they start spewing shit they won’t remember but I got carried away talking to my sibling and sure enough the same shit.
“Well, I can see this is something you’re very… passionate about”
Translation: “You’re being too intense and i can’t take you seriously with that tone of voice”
yeah no shit I’m passionate it directly affects me and most of the people i love in various complex ways. it’s interesting in its nuance but also of critical importance to LEARN. Not to mention extremely relevant to our existing conversation but sure lemme just suck all of the emotion out of my voice and spoon feed the information to you so the big bad tranny doesn’t scare you.
“I’d love to learn more about this, I just don’t like how you’re lecturing me”
Translation: “You do not occupy a high enough position of power over me for me to be hierarchically forced to listen to you, so instead i’m gonna focus my energy on taking you down a peg”
this one is almost always accompanied by the most baffling beligerence of half-restrained insults, and a slow inevitable decline in composure.
“I don’t see what that has to do with what we were talking about”
Translation: “Obviously you’re talking out of your ass and are saying these things as a smokescreen just to confuse me and ‘Win’ the conversation we’re having”
Most recent example was sibling and me talking about trans representation in media —that was the conversation— and the problems i had with how a particular character was represented and how it in some ways reinforced preexisting transmisogynistic archetypes, so I was explaining stuff about transmisogyny which is of extreme relevance to a discussion about representation of trans women the fuck you mean it’s not relevant. it’s the crux of what we’re talking about ! which i try to explain but by then we’re past the point of no return and gotta close it out.
