#anti--mediocre

[t0rschlusspan1k-die-huelse]

Our oldest cat is dying. And I'm stuck here. I haven't seen her in two months because my psychiatrist thought it was best for me to stay away from home and from my babies. She killed me. I hope she knows when it eventually happens. She killed her and she killed me. I hadn't even recovered from my Ernesto. Why do I only deserve pain.

[Where I am and why I can't leave.] [Update May 9] [May 13]

P. S.: So many people saw me cry and yet again, at best, they just stared.

I don't expect anything else from the Internet, I'm "used to it". But people in real life who should understand pain... Or maybe they don't anymore, with all their pretty success stories that made me run away sobbing during group therapy.

I want to leave.

[dustedmagazine]

Madi Diaz — Fatal Optimist (ANTI-)

Madi Diaz makes raw, piercing, intensely personal songs that feel like they could expand into anthems. She occupies a weird, intermediary position between the most inward-focused singer-songwriter’s art and the world of commercial pop. For instance, you could hardly ask for a more self-lacerating end-of-the-relationship song than “Feel Something,” with its urgent strumming, its keening verses about break-up sex, its anguished plea to “feel something.” And yet you can also imagine the tune in the hands of a pop diva, its payoff blown out into arena-filling belts and sing-along communal angst. “If so how, if not why, if I can, why can’t I…feel,” could easily be a battle cry, not the tamped down confessional that Diaz delivers.

That makes sense because Diaz has the reputation as a songwriter’s songwriter, an underappreciated talent who has, nonetheless, been nominated for two Grammys and opened for Harry Styles. This third full-length completes a heart-torn trilogy that started with 2021’s History of a Feeling and ran through the 2024 break-out Weird Faith (the one that got her the Grammy nods). It is a largely solo, mostly acoustic effort, just voice and unamplified guitar, the sound stripped and scrubbed raw for maximum harrowing appeal.

There are moments of solace here—the pretty harmonies of “Good Liar,” the lattice work picking of “If Time Does What It’s Supposed To,” but the overall vibe is bracing. Diaz is dry-eyed and full of clarity, but newly so, as if she’s been up all night crying and can’t anymore.

“Heavy Metal” hints at intergenerational trauma, a fight-or-flight impulse burned in from childhood on, but Diaz isn’t looking for pity, and indeed, seems to be coming to some sort of resolution as the album goes on. “I wouldn't wanna be any different/My idealism makes me self-defensive/Don't make me take off my gloves/I'll show you what I'm made of,” she croons against the steady strum of guitar, and the message, like the voice, is tough and defiant and proud of the progress she’s made.

These are gnarly, inward-focused songs, but if you listen carefully, you can hear how a different sort of delivery—big voice, big drums, slashing guitars—could turn them into a female-centric version of emo-rock.  Even if you appreciate the way the music works here, you might still wonder what that larger scale version would sound like.

Jennifer Kelly 

[sound-bombing]

Moor Mother - Jazz Codes (Anti-, 2022) Genre: Abstract Hip Hop, Experimental Hip Hop, Jazz Rap, Avant-Garde Jazz Artwork: Anthony Carlos MoldenBandcamp

[nathank77]

4/19/25

4:46 p.m

So FYI, tumblr is putting mature content blockers on my shirtless photos now... it looks like tumblr is becoming anti trans. Just throwing this out there. Every post with my scars showing has a content block on it.

We got to fight tumblr on this trash. I can't believe it's getting worse than fucking Facebook.

If tumblr doesn't stop this shit tbh I'll lose the last social media website I use. Cause I don't got time for my body to be content blocked bc I have scars.

Trans bodies are beautiful. And my scars are the same as a cis man being shirtless. They are actually discriminating at this point.

Unless shirtless cis men are going to be content blocked.... I mean then it's just discrimination bc trans people are shamed and told to hate their body. I love my fucking body and we got to fight tumblrs bullshit. It's either all shirtless guys or no shirtless guys otherwise it's trans discrimination.

[thepermanentrainpress]

Gallery: Slow Pulp @ The Pearl - Vancouver, BC Date: October 13, 2023 Photographed by: Danielle Costelo

[sinceileftyoublog]

MJ Lenderman Album Review: Manning Fireworks

(Anti-)

BY KEITH MILLER

Manning Fireworks, the fourth studio album from singer-songwriter and multi-instrumentalist MJ Lenderman, is an endearing rock album with slight folk influences that smirks, smiles, and sighs with its audience. Its opening title track leads with an acoustic guitar that moseys its way to the track’s conclusion. Fiddles, electric guitars, and percussion start to fill in as Lenderman sings, “Once a perfect little baby / Who’s now a jerk / Standing close to the pyre manning fireworks.” The thesis seeps through the album: You used to be innocent, but you should know better by now. The lead single “She’s Leaving You” leans into this somber concept. It sounds simultaneously like a hug and a difficult conversation. The chorus reminds its listener, “We’ve all got work to do,” while the guitar builds up and maintains a steady progression to its finale: Wednesday lead singer and Lenderman’s real life ex-girlfriend Karly Hartzman closing out the track, singing, “She’s leaving you” as a steady bass line fills the back space.

Parts of Manning Fireworks feel like a garage band rocking out with the door wide open, like on “Wristwatch” or “On My Knees”, while other songs, like “Rip Torn,” are reminiscent of something you might hear sitting around a bonfire at Boy Scout camp. The product here is a stellar album right up until the very near end. That said, my biggest gripe with Manning Fireworks is the closing track. “Bark at the Moon” plays with a 10-minute run time, twice as long as the second-longest track on the album. I always get excited when a band like MJ Lenderman’s records a long song; I love hearing how they can justify the length. Unfortunately, while half of “Bark at the Moon” is a thoughtful composition about growing up, the other half is just noise emanating from the guitars. The vocals and instrumentation are poignant, but the guitar fuzz drags on a little too long and quickly loses whatever emotion it tried to muster.

Still, Manning Fireworks is a comforting rock album that doesn’t shy away from its Southern roots while still pushing the mainstream appeal of Lenderman’s brand of indie rock. For its very few shortcomings, it’ll be a great record to have on rotation as summer fades into fall. Give it a listen while you’re sipping on something near that bonfire--just be sure to keep the fireworks at a safe distance.

[disease]

“TRUE” | 2021 DANNY ELFMAN & TRENT REZNOR [DIR: ARON JOHNSON | VIS: IAN VALENTINE]

[musicollage]

Andy Shauf – The Neon Skyline. 2020 ~ Anti-.