#antinessian

[silverflameataraxia]

I hate seeing people justify the punishment hike.

You can get pissed at your significant other, but you cannot punish them because of it. You cannot ignore their physical and emotional well-being because of it. You cannot give them the silent treatment for days on end because of it.

That punishment hike, alone, makes Cassian one of the most immature and abusive mmc's I've ever read about. And then the narrative justifies his treatment of Nesta by saying he heard an ancient and wise voice telling him to treat Nesta that way to "heal" her. That's just straight up deplorable.

[silverflameataraxia]

Cassian said that he couldn't figure out why Nesta's sisters loved her, yet Nesta is cruel for telling him to stop and go home multiple times.

Cassian said that everyone hated Nesta, yet Nesta's cruel for asking if he was done panting after her.

Cassian said that he didn't have a choice in being shackled to Nesta, yet Nesta's cruel for saying she didn't have a choice in becoming High Fae.

Is this misogyny or are people really misremembering who the cruel character actually was?

[silverflameataraxia]

Nessian shippers want to talk about how Cassian was emotionally vulnerable to Nesta and she hurt him after the war, but what about all the times Nesta has been emotionally vulnerable with Cassian and he lashed out with cruelty and/or did something to make her feel punished?

She finally felt comfortable being vulnerable enough to ask Cassian to spend the night with her and he immediately ditched her the following morning to throw snowballs and the subsequent five days after that to check on the Illyrians to the point that Nesta mentioned how he was avoiding her.

She was emotionally vulnerable when she told him that her hesitation in accepting the mating bond was because she would be sacrificing the last scraps of her humanity, and Cassian lashed out by saying that he didn't have a choice in being shackled to her.

Nesta finally felt comfortable being vulnerable enough to tell Cassian that she loved him, yet he never returned the sentiment, and in HOFAS we have Nesta struggling to take the Mask off, we have her nearly vacant and carefully blank face, her thin and brittle voice, the bruised/wounded/pained look in her eyes, and the wall of steel that she had to raise in her mind to hold back a giant wave of raw emotion.

Why don't Nessian shippers ever hold Cassian accountable? He's guilty of the same things they criticize Nesta for.

[silverflameataraxia]

When I think about how ACOSF was supposed to be Nessian's romance, yet Cassian never said, or even thought, that he loved Nesta, and then I reread SJM's acknowledgments and noted how many times she used the word "love."

I hope some of those moments resonate, and will remind you, dear reader, that you are loved, and that you are worthy of love, no matter what.

To my son, Taran: you bring me joy, and strength, and such love that my heart is overflowing with it every single day.

Thank you for loving me through all of it.

I adore your curly tail, your bat ears, your unfailing sass - and your sweet, loving soul.

To my friend Steph Brown: I love you.

My wonderful parents and family: it's been so long since we've been able to see each other in person, but I've felt your love even from hundreds of miles away.

And to my in-laws, Linda and Dennis: thank you for the chocolate (even when I said I didn't want any!), for being such doting grandparents, and for the unconditional love.

Thank you for taking these characters into your hearts, and for allowing me to do what I love most for a living.

Add in the fact that the book released directly after ACOSF is HOSAB, where we find out that Shahar never once said she loved Hunt, and I do think SJM is hinting at the problems with Cassian and his lack of love language for Nesta.

[silverflameataraxia]

It's interesting that when Cassian says something cruel to Nesta, people say, "Oh, it's okay because he didn't mean it." But when Nesta says something cruel that she doesn't actually mean, she gets beaten down and punished and abused as horrifically as she was in ACOSF?

[silverflameataraxia]

I see people justify Cassian leaving Nesta naked, ass in the air, with his semen dripping out of her after the kelpie incident because Nesta had asked for "just sex." Nesta mentioned in her inner monologue that she thought "just sex" would at least come with some cuddles, which means she thought it would come with some form of aftercare. Nesta has had a lot of sex, so every male she slept with in Velaris was obviously giving her proper aftercare and cuddles. How she ended up with Cassian is beyond me.

Aside from that, though, if Cassian truly wanted to be in a relationship with Nesta and settled for "just sex" because that was all she was willing to give him at the moment, shouldn't he have been going out of his way to give her proper aftercare and cuddles and treating her like she meant something to him so that she could see what it would be like to be in a relationship with him? Him not even giving her the bare minimum of aftercare just seems to me like he was punishing her for only offering him sex.

[silverflameataraxia]

I absolutely love dark romance, despite the fact that the characters can be problematic and the relationships toxic af.

Yet Cassian is still the worst love interest I've ever read about.

The male LI's in dark romance do fucked up shit to their women, but they still treat their women better than Cassian treats Nesta. And they would never allow others to treat their women the way Cassian allows his family to treat Nesta.

[silverflameataraxia]

For the life of me, I can't figure out why people want Elucien (or Gwynriel) to go the rejected mate route when Nessian is literally right there.

Who reads the Ember bonus chapter and thinks that Nesta is healed and happy and that Nessian's endgame and living their HEA? If Nesta had an ounce of self-respect, she would have rejected the mating bond between the Ember bc and her final scene in HOFAS.

People can say what they want about Lucien and Az, but at least they aren't breaking their mates. Cassian is actively breaking Nesta. If there's one person who absolutely needs out of their mating bond, it's Nesta.

I'm not saying Elain and Gwyn can't reject the mating bond, but if SJM finally gives us a rejected mate trope and it's not Nesta, I'm gonna be pissed. But that's just my opinion.