Hiraeth
My mother told me when I was a child; "If you feel unwary and sad, just go home and rest."
But I never went home sad.
I used to washed off the sadness, lying down in plains while watching flying kites
And went home at night with a blank slate.
My mother told me when I was a child; "If you feel unwary and sad, just go home and rest."
And I always thought that home is a safe haven.
That the surface around those walls is a heaven place on earth.
Even though there's a break in some bricks I tend to focus on what matters.
But years after, not every home is compose of ceiling and walls.
That not every doors can be open,
And not every windows can be clear.
That a home can go somewhere else and go back when they wants to.
But sometimes they don't even back.
Every so often they will clasp you through their arms like a blanket.
And leave you over and over.
And I used to.
I used that home is not always there
But it will not make you feel lonely.
But you will ask yourself; "what might happen if we choose different path?"
And we will see each other in every timelapse.
One year from now and I see you packing your luggages
You choose to be simple with those smile going somewhere far,
And we see goals not just a dream but something we can have,
But you never look back.
Thirty years from now and we see each other at the park
I'm playing Sky Sailing's song with my ukulele
And you walking around with your dog together with your grandchild.
Look as beautiful as before, like a sunrise in a morning.
Two years from now and I see you far away from my land,
I traced every step you take through prairie full of daffodils
And for the very first time the home becomes unknown.
Twenty years from now and we see each other at the grocery store
I'm debating with my wife in which carton of milk we should get
But we knew that it have same taste over and over.
And I see you with your daughter deciding in which cookies you should get,
You both very look alike and I wonder what you might named her.
Three years from now and the home will never be that home.
That raking through those ashes will not bring it back
But I still remember it smell, like a violet scented candle that surrounding it space.
I still remember the humming birds outside that becomes a lullaby
It all haunts me and I want it back, so bad.
Ten years from now and the world is shaking but still beautiful as you.
I'm sitting at the back of the church and I realize that the waiting is over,
That the hope is clear and it's already in our hands
And I see you in a white dress walking in the aisle towards your love one.
Just as precious as I told you before that it will happen and I'm happy with it even its not with me.
Five years from now and the new home is not always like I used to.
Even though my mother though me that; "if you feel unwary and sad, just go home and rest."
Still, it feels heavy by the sadness that it brings.
The memories of familiar home becomes ruin in a battlefield
Even the fight is over, I still want to go back.
Though, there's no place like home.
